I'm a fan of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. But I LOVE TO WATCH THE ONA THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI-CHAN SUZUMIYA IN YOUTUBE! It was so hilarious, that some episodes almost made me die laughing! This inspired me to make this! And just to let you know that the timeline of Final Fantasy 7 will be a mixed up together, with all/some favorite FF7 characters in it. Beware of OOCness, randomness, craziness, and stuff. It's a bit of a parody. So enjoy! Read and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan Suzumiya, Compilation of Final Fantasy 7, or possibly Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, Soul Eater or Lucky Star. But I do own Michele Tsubasa and Beatrice.

This chapter is a bit of a parody of The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan Suzumiya episode 2.

The Melancholy of Mi-chan

Chapter 1: Relive the SOS Brigade

President Rufus Shinra assigns the Turks to investigate this suspicious person somewhere in the Edge. He believe that it was a former assassin that was part a gang that either work for or against his late father. He remembers that his half-brother knows and met this person awhile ago. He heard that she's forming some kind of an organization that seems very suspicious.

Why? Not a clue yet.

He believes that this person is forming an organization that's against him, or could help. But he's not sure for now. All he knows is that Lazard know where that person is. He believe that this person is possibly somewhere in the public library the last time he heard about that person. And Lazard told him that the person is a female, that her last name is Tsubasa. So Rufus want to sent the Turks to find her to see who she.

Why the Turks have to go to the library to find her? They have no idea. But what they didn't expect is that they will experience something . . . random.

Somewhere in the Library

"Why do we have to do this?" Reno asked.

"Because the president orders us to, that's why." Tseng responds.

". . ." Rude said nothing.

"I wonder why the library?" Elena asked.

"Well, we better go find her."

The Turks then went to the library to find the one name Tsubasa. People in the library notice the Turks came. Some stare, some look away, some whisper to each other about why their here. The Turks tried to find someone working at the library that knows or is Tsubasa. Until they found a long blue haired girl in some type of school girl uniform, pushing a cart full of books and place the books in the shelves.

"Excuse me." Tseng asked.

"Hmm?" the girl turned. "Wow! Tseng, Reno, Rude, and Elena of the Turks! For real! Awesome!"

"Shh!" whispered the people in the library.

"Oops, sorry." She whispers. "But, so cool. I meet the Turks. In Person. Even though I met the Ex's, but the main ones?! This must be my lucky day. By the way, I'm Konata."

"She sure knows a lot about us, boss." Reno whispered to Tseng. "I think she's on to us."

"Just be quiet." then turns to Konata, "Do you know anyone here by the name of Tsubasa?"

"Hmm?" Konata responds. "Oh! You mean Senpai!"

"Um, yes."

"So does this mean you're gonna join our group?!"

"Shhh!" whispered the readers in the library.

"Again, sorry, people." She whispered, "Does this mean you're joining our group?"

"Sorry. But not really." Elena said. "We were ordered by the president to find her and also have a talk with her, that's all."

Konata sigh "Oh great. How can we have more volunteers? Senpai isn't going to like this." She said. "Oh, well. I'll take you to her."

Konata lead them to the back of the Library, where there are rooms such as Computer labs and office. While going there, Konata is always asking like what is it like was as the Turks, want to know about the president, how she met famous SOLDIERs, etc. She keeps asking like she's some total fan girl (but they didn't know that she is a fan girl or an otaku.). Then, they finally arrive at the one of the room. Where there was a paper posted on the door:

THE SOS BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS

Inspired by Haruhi Suzumiya

Relive the moment of the SOS Brigade

"Save Our Souls brigade? That's a weird name for some organization."

Then there was a small sign under it that said:

HELP WANTED:

Need more volunteers to join.

Join or else.

JOIN! . . . Please?

"That's some threat she made." Reno said sarcastically.

Konata knocks the door. "Senpai, it's me."

"Does this mean we finally have some volunteers?!" shouted the voice, full of excitement, behind the door.

Konata sighs and scratches the back of her head. "Sorry, Senpai. They're just Turks that want to have a word with you."

The voice groaned in disappointment. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. The door is unlocked. Come in."

When Konata had her hand on the knob, she opens the door and-

"I'M BORED!" the girl somewhere 16-19 screamed in front of Konata and the Turks. Exclude Konata and Rude, they almost jumped. The girl is a bit like Wutaian; she had black hair with brown highlights, gray eyes, and wears some kind of a school girl uniform, and has an orange armband on her left arm that said "SOS Brigade" in kanji. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! HAVE THEY HAD NO HEARTS TO JOIN THE SOS BRIGADE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 24/7! THIS SUCKS! I'M BORED I'M BORED I'M BORED!"

The Turks were a bit speechless. Is this person really Tsubasa? She doesn't look suspicious, she looks and acts . . . childish. The girl was all screaming, shouting, whining, complaining, stomping on the ground, rolling on the ground, banging/punching/kicking on the wall, running around the room, flying, dashing, spinning, etc. Until she ran out the door and does a cartwheel down the hallway . . .

. . .

Until she fell down the stairs, but survived.

". . . Was she always like this?"

"Oh, yeah. This is the fifth time now."

Later . . .

"Man. this. sucks." In the so-called headquarters, Tsubasa was banging her head repeatedly on the school desk, and Konata tries to stop her from banging her head on the desk, and the Turks just watch. "Why. can't. we. have. more. vol. lun. teers!?"

"Calm down, Senpai." Konata tries to ease her. Then heard the door opens, reveal some random person. "Look, Senpai! A volunteer!"

"Eh?" she stops, has a bruise on her forehead.

". . ." the person closes the door and walks away. Possibly because the Turks are in there or because of seeing Tsubasa banging her head on the desk.

Tsubasa sulks on the desk.

"Aw. Don't beat yourself up because of that." Konata tries to cheer her up. "There might be more members coming."

"LIKE HELL!" Tsubasa rolls and fell off the desk, head first. ". . . owie."

"Man, and I though Reno's childish." Elena crossed her arms.

"HEY!"

Tseng looks around about this headquarters of her. It looks more like a lounge or something than some headquarters. With a plasma TV; computers and laptops; some game consoles; shelves filled with novels, mangas, games, figurine; a couch; a table, some school desk, white board: normal and interactive; chalk board; bulletin board; some boxes; and some other stuff.

Rude steps forward to help Tsubasa up. "Thanks. Oh, yeah. I'm Michele Tsubasa, president/brigade leader of the SOS Brigade," She rubbed her forehead and bows "and you already met Konata Izumi, my VP/second-in-command of the SOS Brigade. Welcome to the SOS Brigade Headquarters."

". . . You're joking, right?" Reno said it in disbelief. "You're Tsubasa? You're just a kid."

Then Michele kicked him in the shin and Reno nearly dropped in pain, cling on his leg. "I'M NOT A KID! I JUST TURNED NINETEEN, YOU DUMBASS! BELIEVE IT!" she yelled. "And yes, I'm Michele Tsubasa. What brings you here?"

"President Rufus heard that you used worked for his father as part of the assassin group." Tseng explained. Reno got up and pulls out his EMR to kill her, but Rude, Elena, and Konata stops him and tried to hold him off.

"You mean that big, dead, rich guy?" Michele said, approaching the window. "Yeah. I know him. I even remember my former gangs . . ."

She starts talking about being an orphan in Wutai, having a hard time with her twin sister that left her home, how much she hate her sister, her time when she left as a traveler, moved to Midgar, being part of a gang of assassin, her former colleagues died in an accident, being the last member, leaving and moving on, blah blah blah.

". . . and now I was on my own now . . ." there was a moment of silence, ". . . But that's part of life. And I don't even care anymore!" she smiles.

". . . um, okay." Tseng said. "So, why did you form . . . this?" he asked. And yet, Konata, Rude, and Elena are still straining Reno to prevent him from killing Michele.

"Well, let's just say. I now work for the Library. And I read THIS!" she pull out a book out of nowhere and shows it in front of Tseng's face. It appears to be a light novel called The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. "When I read these books! Watch the anime! Listen to the Soundtracks and Character songs! EVEN DID THE HARE HARE YUKAI DANCE! I GOT MYSELF ADDICTED TO THIS SERIES! But, yet, it's seems that there are so many people all over Gaia are unaware about Haruhi series and they don't even care, except me and Konata! HOW COULD THEY! AND BESIDES, THE WORLD IS SO DULL HERE! That's the reason why I form THIS:"

She dashed to the white board, pick up the black marker, and wrote something on the board. And as she finished, it said:

THE SOS BRIGADE

Spreading Excitement all

Over the World with

Suzumiya Haruhi's

Brigade

So it doesn't stand for Save Our Soul Brigade? That's interesting. Tseng thought. "So, why are you still using the character's name?"

"BECAUSE HER NAME IS IRREPLACEABLE! OTHERWISE IT WOULDN'T BE THE SOS BRIGADE! We must keep using her name! To relive the SOS Brigade and Haruhi Suzumiya! Right, Kona-chan!?"

"Right, Senpai!" Konata agrees, still straining Reno with Rude and Elena.

"So, what is this series about?" Tseng dares to ask.

Half Hour Later . . .

With Michele and Konata doing some slide shows of the Haruhi series, the characters, the SOS Brigade, episodes, Hare Hare Yukai dance, etc. the Turks (Reno was already settled down) were sitting on the couch to watch the slide shows. Then, it ended.

"And that's The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya! Any questions?!"

". . . This isn't a Headquarters!" Reno exclaimed, "This is a fan club!"

"Fan club, shman club. Headquarters, shmeadquarters. WHO CARES?!" Michele yelled, "This is the SOS Brigade! Like it or not, deal with it. If you don't like, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! . . . But . . ."

"What?" Elena asked.

Michele looked at Konata, who smiled. Then, Konata pulled out a camera out of no where. "Say cheese!"

"Eh?" the Turks respond.

Konata then snaps the picture of the Turks, and then the photo of the Turks came out of the camera. "Look Senpai! We finally got more volunteers!"

"MUWAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY!" Michele cackles. "MORE MEMBERS JOINING IN!"

"What the fuck?! I thought you said you don't have any members in you brigade!" Reno shouted.

"True! We don't have members that want to join in." Michele explained. "But we do force some people to join, whether they like it or not! Like these guys!" she pulled out some pictures and shows it to them. Yet, they were familiar people they know of: Zack and Aerith, Cloud and his gang, Reeves, the ex-Turks, Elfe, Weiss and Nero, Lazard, even Vincent, Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal are in one of the pictures. All those people in the photos were sitting on the same couch the Turks sat on.

"Great, so you tricked us?!"

"Hmm. Maybe." Michele put the photos in the pocket and crosses her arms. "We need more members and volunteers in the SOS Brigade. Yet, no one joins! Then, some people came in asking questions like 'Where's the restroom?', 'Whoops! I thought this was a reading room?', 'Where am I?', 'Are you Michele Tsubasa? Because I got a delivery for you.', 'I'm lost, so can you help me?', and other kinds of stuff." She explained. "So I "lured" them in and POOF! You're part of the SOS Brigade!"

Then, Reno grabs the collar of her shirt and pulled her up to his face. "You do know that you're messing with the Turks?"

"Well, you do know that you're messing with the SOS Brigade Leader?!" Michele said as she pokes his chest, and then uses two fingers to poke his eyes. He let go from that, after regaining himself, he pulled out his EMR and tries to kill her. But was stopped again by Rude and Elena.

"I don't think it's a good idea to force people like that to join." Tseng said to her.

"Well, deal with it! I WAS BORED! I need new members of the SOS Brigade. So deal with it. You guys are already part of the SOS Brigade, even Rufus!"

". . . Rufus isn't here. How are you gonna make him part of the SOS Brigade?"

"Oh, you'll see." She smirked. "NOW, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! YOU'RE WASTING MY QUALITY TIME! YOU'LL COME BACK WHEN I CALL YOU! SO GO!" she shoves them out of the room. "By the way, here's my card." She gives Rude some kind of "Business card" of the SOS Brigade. "Well, you all have a good day! Seeya!" she slams the door behind them. The Turks have no other choice but to leave the library.

Michele looks out of the window with Konata, watching the Turks walk away.

". . . Hey, Kona-chan."

"Yeah, Senpai?"

"Who's that quiet guy with the shades?"

"Hmm. Oh, his name was Rude."

"Rude? Wow, that's some name. He's looks kind rather than rude."

"Yep. Hey, Senpai. Why do you asked?"

". . . I think he's handsome."

"Ohh. Someone got a crush."

"Oh, shut up, Kona-chan!" Michele looks at the clock. "Ooh, it's time. Kona-chan! Fetch me my ropes and my grappling hook!"

Later . . .

Things were strange today. After hearing from the Turks about Michele, guess she's not suspicious, but . . . random and hyper. Maybe hyper and than Reno. And he was wondering what does Tseng mean that she will make him part of the SOS Brigade like his half-brother? He dismissed that thought and continues working on some paper. Until he heard tapping on the window behind him. He turned and sees what's causing this and . . .

FLASH!

A camera was snap as if someone took the picture of him. Well, it is. It reveals two girls, hanging on the rope, the blue haired one of them holding a camera and the photo of him. And the other one waved at him.

"RUFUS SHINRA! WELCOME TO THE SOS BRIGADE! WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE YOU!" then they all slide down on the rope, leaving a confused president there, try to know what the fuck is going on?

Meanwhile . . .

Somewhere in the Apartment Complex of the Edge, there was Beatrice, an emotionless, dull albino girl with white shoulder length hair, red eyes, and wearing black shirt and black shorts. In her apartment house, was decorated in a Wutai theme, but was a bit messy here. Beatrice was sitting on a cushion, in front of her low table, watching TV and drinking herbal tea. She looks around at her messy apartment, very quiet, dull, boring and lonely; then look out of the glass door of the Balcony, at the night sky. Then saw a shooting star and made a strange/odd wish:

That she wished she had three chibis people to help her around the house. One that was a little bit hot-tempered brat, one that was strong but a cry baby, and one that was mysterious but looks like a girl. Maybe all those three chibis should be all cute guys that have silver hair.

She waited. And waited. Nothing.

But then, continues to watch Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. And also drink her herbal tea.

So, what do you think? Like it. Love it. Hate it. Don't care. Don't go hating on me if I made this crappy. I just enjoy the ONA and this came out of my mind.

But, can you guess what those 3 chibi people Bea(Be-a)-chan wished for? It's a bit like Achakura, except with 3 characters that should be familiar to you! LOL!

On the next chapter of The Melancholy of Mi-chan, Cloud and Zack have a hard, tiring day was about to go to bed. Until they all have a crazy dream, and they want out! Later, Bea-chan's wish came true: 3 silver haired chibis she ever wanted!

Stay tune for Chapter 2: Dreams and Chibis!

Seeya! Review if you like it.