May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real professor X, please stand up.
I repeat, Will the real professor X, please stand up.
We're gonna have a problem here.
Y'all act like you've never seen a wheelchair before
Jaws dropped to the floor
Like cyke and wolvie just burst in the door
And started whoopin' his ass worse than before
Jean first was divorced
Throwing around visors (ah!)
It's the return of the ah, wait, no wait, you're kidding,
He didn't just think I think he thought, did he?
And Jean grey said,
Nothing you idiots, Jean grey's dead,
She's possessed by the phoenix. (ha ha)
An' all these women love gambit
Sikasikasi remy I'm sick of him, look at him
Walkin' around saying you know what
Flippin' cards at you know who
Yeah but he's so cute though (aw)
Beast has prob'ly got a couple of screws up in my head loose,
But no worse than what's goin' on in jeans bedroom.
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let loose
But can't, but it's cool for graydon creed to be on the news
My claws are at your neck, my claws are at your neck
And if I'm lucky I might just hear a little snikt
And that's the message we deliver to little kids and expect 'em not to know what an x-factor gene is
Of course they gonna know what a mutant is by the time they hit fourth grade they got the magneto channel don't they
We ain't nothing but humans well some of us mutants who rip Sentinels open like tin cans
But if we eat papayas and cantaloupes.
Then there's no reason why Jean and wolvie can't elope.
So if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Jean grey wave your pantyhose
Sing the chorus
And it goes
(chorus)
I'm professor xavier, yes I'm the real xavier, all you other professor xavier can hail me as your savior so won't the real Professor Xavier please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.
(repeat)
most mutants don't gotta wear gloves to be around people,
well rogue does, so she'll touch them and she'll touch you two.
You think I give a damn about some lightning,
Storm that isn't scary let alone frightening
But, hey, what if you got hit, wouldn't it be weird?
Why so you could just fly to get me here?
So you could, sit me here next to captain queer
Warren Worthington better switch me chairs,
So I can sit next to psylocke and Jean grey,
And hear 'em argue over whose boyfriends more gay
Stupid Jean put wolvie on his knees
"yeah he's cute but I'm married to Scott, tee hee."
I should download an audio and MP3 and show the whole world
How phoenix destroyed a galaxy.
I'm sick of you little gen. X groups
All you do is shoot hoops
So I will send the shi'ar to abduct you
And there's a million mutants just like me
Who fly like me, who read minds like me
Who dress like me, try to take over humanity
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me.
(chorus)
and I'm like a cerebro to listen to,
'cuz I'm only giving you things you think about in your brain
at night inside your room.
The only difference is I got the psionics to say it on front of y'all
and I don't gotta be bald but I am after all
I just get on the astral plane and spit it
and whether you'd like to admit it, I can probe better than 90%
or you psychics out there.
And you wonder how wolverine can drink so much beer?
And it's funny, cuz at the rate he's going when he looks 80
He'll be the only person in the x-men still dating
Pinchin' Jean Grey's ass
And Hugh Jackman is jerking
I said jerkin' 'cuz this whole case of beer isn't working
And in every single person there's a mutant gene lurking
They could be working at burger king
Radiating your onion rings
Or in the parking lot screaming "Humans really suck" with their windows down and their psionics up
So will the real professor please stand up. And put one of those fingers on each hand up...and be proud to be probing your mind and taking control, and one more time, loud as Banshee can, how's it go?
(chorusX2)
I guess there's a mutant gene in all of us, let's help the professor stand up.
May I have your attention please
Will the real professor X, please stand up.
I repeat, Will the real professor X, please stand up.
We're gonna have a problem here.
Y'all act like you've never seen a wheelchair before
Jaws dropped to the floor
Like cyke and wolvie just burst in the door
And started whoopin' his ass worse than before
Jean first was divorced
Throwing around visors (ah!)
It's the return of the ah, wait, no wait, you're kidding,
He didn't just think I think he thought, did he?
And Jean grey said,
Nothing you idiots, Jean grey's dead,
She's possessed by the phoenix. (ha ha)
An' all these women love gambit
Sikasikasi remy I'm sick of him, look at him
Walkin' around saying you know what
Flippin' cards at you know who
Yeah but he's so cute though (aw)
Beast has prob'ly got a couple of screws up in my head loose,
But no worse than what's goin' on in jeans bedroom.
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let loose
But can't, but it's cool for graydon creed to be on the news
My claws are at your neck, my claws are at your neck
And if I'm lucky I might just hear a little snikt
And that's the message we deliver to little kids and expect 'em not to know what an x-factor gene is
Of course they gonna know what a mutant is by the time they hit fourth grade they got the magneto channel don't they
We ain't nothing but humans well some of us mutants who rip Sentinels open like tin cans
But if we eat papayas and cantaloupes.
Then there's no reason why Jean and wolvie can't elope.
So if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Jean grey wave your pantyhose
Sing the chorus
And it goes
(chorus)
I'm professor xavier, yes I'm the real xavier, all you other professor xavier can hail me as your savior so won't the real Professor Xavier please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.
(repeat)
most mutants don't gotta wear gloves to be around people,
well rogue does, so she'll touch them and she'll touch you two.
You think I give a damn about some lightning,
Storm that isn't scary let alone frightening
But, hey, what if you got hit, wouldn't it be weird?
Why so you could just fly to get me here?
So you could, sit me here next to captain queer
Warren Worthington better switch me chairs,
So I can sit next to psylocke and Jean grey,
And hear 'em argue over whose boyfriends more gay
Stupid Jean put wolvie on his knees
"yeah he's cute but I'm married to Scott, tee hee."
I should download an audio and MP3 and show the whole world
How phoenix destroyed a galaxy.
I'm sick of you little gen. X groups
All you do is shoot hoops
So I will send the shi'ar to abduct you
And there's a million mutants just like me
Who fly like me, who read minds like me
Who dress like me, try to take over humanity
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me.
(chorus)
and I'm like a cerebro to listen to,
'cuz I'm only giving you things you think about in your brain
at night inside your room.
The only difference is I got the psionics to say it on front of y'all
and I don't gotta be bald but I am after all
I just get on the astral plane and spit it
and whether you'd like to admit it, I can probe better than 90%
or you psychics out there.
And you wonder how wolverine can drink so much beer?
And it's funny, cuz at the rate he's going when he looks 80
He'll be the only person in the x-men still dating
Pinchin' Jean Grey's ass
And Hugh Jackman is jerking
I said jerkin' 'cuz this whole case of beer isn't working
And in every single person there's a mutant gene lurking
They could be working at burger king
Radiating your onion rings
Or in the parking lot screaming "Humans really suck" with their windows down and their psionics up
So will the real professor please stand up. And put one of those fingers on each hand up...and be proud to be probing your mind and taking control, and one more time, loud as Banshee can, how's it go?
(chorusX2)
I guess there's a mutant gene in all of us, let's help the professor stand up.