A Little Blood Goes A Long Way
A Supernatural humor fic by Sargent Snarky
A/N: This was born from a conversation I had with Victorian Taxi earlier today. (And you can blame her entirely for this fic, for without her, I should likely never have been introduced to Supernatural, though I've only seen the first season and a couple episodes into Season 2, so far.) We began by wondering what would happen if a mosquito happened to drink the blood of an angel or a demon (though we were pondering this for Good Omens angels & demons), and then we segued into discussing what would happen if a mosquito drank the blood of anyone who was a bit… unusual. And then I wondered what would happen if a mosquito drank Sam's blood. This resulted.
Warning: This is… off-the-wall.
Please enjoy!
Story:
No one's ever gonna believe this – 'specially not from the likes of me, but… it – it has to be told. I have to tell someone. And… you – you've got to help me. But… before this gets any further, I – I must confess: I… am a mosquito. But please! Wait! Wait to make your judgments until after you hear me out – please.
My life started out quite normally for a mosquito, you understand. Nothing unusual ever happened until… well, I mean there's really not much to a mosquito's life, normally, you know? We hatch and grow in a pool somewhere – in my case, it was what you call a birdbath, I think – and, well, when us girls grow up, and the guys, and… well… I'm sure you know, but afterwards, in order to have enough nutrients to lay eggs, we've got to suck some blood. Humans, dogs, cats – doesn't entirely matter. It's just… well, I personally think humans smell more appealing – it's all the sugar you eat. And you're easier, usually – your skin's so thin, and there are a lot of you, and… well, no fur.
Anyway, so it was time for me to drink some blood, so I was flying around one evening, smelling for it – any blood could've done in a pinch, I suppose, but eh… I was looking for something that smelled good – tasted good, you know? So, the other gals and I were just flying around, when this big shiny dark thing – all hot and smelly and making a lot of noise – I think humans call it a car? Well anyway, this thing rumbles in and stops, and these two men get out. Well, we flutter over, because they're new and fresh, and there haven't been many humans by lately, or if they have, they've been smothered in that awful, cloying stuff – that – ugh! The smell of it makes me so dizzy – I can't stand it.
Anyway, so my sisters and I buzz over, and they smell pretty good, so we're ready to eat, and I go for the taller one, 'cause he just – I don't know… I liked him better? Anyway, I bite him, and I suck up his blood, and… god, I don't – I don't know what was in that blood – I don't know what… what happened, but as soon as I pulled away, I felt something change. For a moment, it's like I'd forgotten how to fly or smell or anything – and just… everything went white and… I – oh god, I… I saw it. I saw Janice and, and Judy get… get s-squished. Just… in a flash – the shorter man, he was going to –
And then suddenly, I was just flying, again, and I wheel around, staring towards the shorter man and… and there are Janice and Judy, and they're flying towards him, and I know they're going to die. And I… I tear after them, as they're going for his cheek, and – and… he – he lifts his arm, and it's exactly like what I saw, and I… I can't help but scream.
"Janice! Judy! Watch ou— NO! J-J-J— No!"
They… I saw… and they still… I –
And this – this kept happening all… all day, and I … wh-what was in that blood? What… what's… how? I… I don't understand. Please help! I… I can't take it… please!
End
A/N: Comments welcome. :) This is meant to be quite silly and generate a few giggles, so please don't take it too seriously, though I always welcome serious discussions as to how exactly unusual blood might (or might not) affect blood-drinking things, including but not limited to mosquitos, ticks, certain tropical bats and squirrels.
- Snarky