A/N- Haha. If you flame, you'll just be looked down upon as an idiot, and have your comments deleted. If this hasn't been drilled into your head yet..I don't own Tomb Raider. If you don't /like it/ find it funny, you know what? I don't care. Tell someone who does. Like that sock over there.
Cow Raiser
Lara Croft was sick and tired of raiding tombs. That gets boring after a while. Even with the movie, and all the t-shirts and stuff, she wanted a change, and fast. So, she quit...
She bought a humble farm in the country, with a few chickens, pigs, and other live stock. What she had always wanted to raise were Cows.
Yeah, I know, sounds silly, right? Cows. Piffle. Moo. Poop. Moo. Give milk. Poop some more. Pretty much the life of a bovine..
Lara traded her shorts and horrid (yes, it's horrid. So there.) green top for over-alls and a plaid shirt. The stereo typical farmers out- fit. Perfect...
With wheat in her mouth and dirt in her hair, she looked..lets just say 'different'..Oh, she hated cleaning up the cows plop, also, it reeked like something died, got eaten, then got pooped out of a person who had a bit to much E-Lax.
She missed shooting animals, though. Sometimes she felt like blowing holes through the mail mans head..but, she didn't have any guns. No, she'd traded those in for a pitch-fork.
One day, ( you all knew it would come to this, people..you all knew..) she snapped. She got out her pitch-fork, and began to brutally harm the poor creatures.
The pigs were bleeding like, well, pigs. The chickens defended themselves, but, alas, were no match for the raving British lunatic. Poor chickens..
Then Aiza came and- wait..no, no, that would make no sense..beaver dam..(if only one person gets that, yay!)
She couldn't bring herself to harm her prized cows..so, she left them on the farm. Which was a stupid idea, because they starved to death.
And so, Lara went back to raiding tombs. Still boring as always, but loads better than picking up cow's bodily waste. I think..
The End
A/N- My head hurts. We watched Road Trip in class today. Isn't that ed-u-ca-ti-on-al?
Cow Raiser
Lara Croft was sick and tired of raiding tombs. That gets boring after a while. Even with the movie, and all the t-shirts and stuff, she wanted a change, and fast. So, she quit...
She bought a humble farm in the country, with a few chickens, pigs, and other live stock. What she had always wanted to raise were Cows.
Yeah, I know, sounds silly, right? Cows. Piffle. Moo. Poop. Moo. Give milk. Poop some more. Pretty much the life of a bovine..
Lara traded her shorts and horrid (yes, it's horrid. So there.) green top for over-alls and a plaid shirt. The stereo typical farmers out- fit. Perfect...
With wheat in her mouth and dirt in her hair, she looked..lets just say 'different'..Oh, she hated cleaning up the cows plop, also, it reeked like something died, got eaten, then got pooped out of a person who had a bit to much E-Lax.
She missed shooting animals, though. Sometimes she felt like blowing holes through the mail mans head..but, she didn't have any guns. No, she'd traded those in for a pitch-fork.
One day, ( you all knew it would come to this, people..you all knew..) she snapped. She got out her pitch-fork, and began to brutally harm the poor creatures.
The pigs were bleeding like, well, pigs. The chickens defended themselves, but, alas, were no match for the raving British lunatic. Poor chickens..
Then Aiza came and- wait..no, no, that would make no sense..beaver dam..(if only one person gets that, yay!)
She couldn't bring herself to harm her prized cows..so, she left them on the farm. Which was a stupid idea, because they starved to death.
And so, Lara went back to raiding tombs. Still boring as always, but loads better than picking up cow's bodily waste. I think..
The End
A/N- My head hurts. We watched Road Trip in class today. Isn't that ed-u-ca-ti-on-al?