''ok guys, ultimate silence.'' redfail lifted his tail. the
massive group stopped and crouched. someone farted.
''OH RIGHT YEAH LETS GET ALL FARTY SHALL WE?'' redfail picked
up a megaphone and blasted directly into everyone's face.
''sorry''
redfail threw the megaphone at the small, pitiful voice.
A crunch ensued
''as apparently not before because of our miserable
little shit, fucking silence.''
''there they are fight them lol''
''ok''
fighting broke out. trombones blared. some diarrhoea was spilt.
''OI OAKFART CMERE U WANKER''
''...yaysss?''
''DIS IS MY SPOT YEAH?''
''nah lol after we kick ur ass we is having it lol''
''WELL UR OUTNUMBERED ANYWAY SO LMAO DIE BITCH''
''hahHAAAAHH REINFORCEMENTS ATTACK!''
A hundred and fifty explosive-laden kittens waddled out of the
bushes. The echoes of exploding kittens clattered. eyeballs
were sent into orbit. whole digestive systems where blasted out
of unfortunate apprentices' buttholes into eachothers faces.
''OK YOU LOT PACK IT IN.'' redfail wiped a pancreas off his
face
''alright u win this time riverclan.''
''whoot''
thunderclan retreated. riverclan collectively poledanced over
the remains of the explosive kittens. someone farted.
''WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU BEFORE YOU SHARD OF
DISSAPOINTMENT?''
''The fitnessgram pacer test is a multi stage...''
Redfail threw a green smeg fridge at him.
A crunch ensued
An old she-cat sat restlessly on a moonlit clearing. The light
ushered and stirred on the ground around her, and an owl hooted.
A bush stirred. The old she-cat assumed the defence ninja pose,
nunchucks spinning at the ready.
''heeeeeeeeeeeeey.''
''ah fuck its you spottedqueef.''
''lol yeh.''
''so uh, how'd the battle go?''
''well redfail had mousefur's leg in his butt.''
''classic redfail.''
''yeah lol. explosive laden kittens apparently.''
''mm hmm. any faxes from starclan lately?''
''nah lol except a pizza menu.''
''ah crap i just remebered that we're gonna have to replace
everyone who got blowed up like right now''
''oh fuk lol yeah.''
suddenly a motor whirred. a vrooom vroomed.
''oh would u look at that starclan just faxed me lol''
''what does it say lol.''
''"oi u fat lards fire will save ur asses"''
''lol wat''
''there's also an ad for viagra''
''ok lol''
''well i gotta go remove mousefur's leg from redfails ass now
so byeeeeeee''
spottedqueef skated away.