Title: Discovering Fanfiction
Created: 08-05-2002
Rating: PG
Content: Humor, hints of C/A
Summary: Conner discovers something called fanfiction...
Spoilers: Season 3
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: This is something I dug out from bottom of the closet… Figure it would be a nice start to get back into BtVS & AtS writing.I read a fanfic where the characters of FF7 are discussing fanfiction and thought I'd write one for AtS. Completely A/U after the events of season 3. Basically, Angel is back, Cordy is back (not as Jasmine), and Angel and Conner worked out their differences with Wesley's help. Conner is now 17 and living in the hotel. So, all together one big happy family and let's keep it that way.
Feedback: Reviews are SOOO welcome... (hint hint)
Fred and Gunn huddled together in the corner of the lobby, whispering and smothering each other with enough pancake kisses to open an IHOP. Wesley was cross-referencing several ancient tomes, vigorously highlighting the text with abhorrently bright magic markers that made Angel grimace in distaste whenever he read them. The ex-Watcher had been a little… off, ever since he came back from the deep end. But since he had been putting ten times the effort into research, which meant more TV time for the rest of the AI team, they decided to let him be.
Cordelia sat at her desk, humming and painting her toenails. She spent most of her four months as a higher being nagging and annoying the hell out of everybody at PTB, until they finally gave up and sent her back to earth. Although, she did learn a few neat tricks while she was there, and that included how to mix match two 49¢ nail polish to create one that looked like it would cost at least 10.99. She had also learned how to do tie-dye. Which was a deciding factor in the grant of her petition, since she dyed the togas of the Oracles of Malaysia. Lime green for the male and neon pink for the female. They weren't too pleased with her handy work, but she heard the Warrior there got a kick out of it.
Conner sat at the desk next to hers, surfing the net with a slightly constipated expression on his face. He had been sitting there for the last hour and half, apparently finding whatever he found on the net vastly fascinating.
Angel sipped his blood and watched his family from where he stood. Ah… this was so much more than he ever dared to hope for. Everyone working together again, Conner was beginning to accept him as a father, and Cordelia loved him… Well okay, he wasn't 100 sure since they never really talked about it after they both came back, but she used his credit card and his car and he paid for her whenever they went to movies and dinners, with or without the gang. That had to count for something like a loving relationship, right?
"Cordy?" Conner broke the peace in the lobby.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what's up?" Cordelia finished her pedicure and was now idly flipping through a magazine.
Angel smiled, listening to the exchange while taking another sip of his meal.
"You really had sex with a guy named Spike in dad's car?"
Gunn choked. Fred's jaw dropped. Wesley knocked over his pencil holder. Angel splattered blood all over the floor.
Cordelia did a double take and dropped her magazine: "WHAT!"
Conner pointed to the monitor screen: "Well, it says here that you went to a nightclub in San Francisco a few months back, met up with this Spike guy and 'shagged the night away' with him in dad's convertible…"
"CORDELIA!" Angel stared at her in undisguised horror, "Did you… How could you… and with…"
"NO!" The part-demoness snapped, "Never happened, ok? Like I would…" An image of smirking face and gorgeous body flashed in her mind, and she hesitated for a second, wrinkling her nose, "Actually, I probably would, if he wasn't so obnoxious and…evil."
"CORDELIA!"
"But that's so not the point." Cordelia said quickly, walking over to Conner, "What made you think I would have sex with SPIKE in a million years?"
The young man shrugged: "Wasn't me. Read this."
"Fanfiction?" The still fuming seer blinked, "What the hell?"
She scrolled down the page and read some more, her eyes widened, "Wes!"
"Yes?"
"Come over here for a sec. Tell me if you know anything about this database?"
She didn't need to ask twice. Suddenly the whole AI team was gathered around Conner's desk as the young man proudly introduced them to his discovery.
half an hour later
"I don't know whether I should be flattered or disturbed that there are so many people out there writing lengthy and completely inaccurate accounts about my life, half of which portrayed me as insecure homosexual… wanker." Wesley commented.
Cordelia snorted: "You think you have a problem? Look at me! According to them, I like slept with half the population here AND in Sunnydale!" She rolled her eyes, "And what's with all these stories about me and Angel… In my apartment, in his old apartment, here, in the shower, on the desk, in the basement, in the car… Ah look! In SPIKE's car, in the sewers, which is so ewww, in the sewers in Sunnydale, more ewww, back alley of Carita's, back alley of the Bronze, on the floor, against the wall, in a closet, in an elevator, in a CEMETARY which is downright creepy and… inside a freaking revolving door? Yeah right! Curse and all aside, like THAT's ever gonna happen."
"Ha…" Angel laughed weakly, trying to get the hot, disturbing mental image of his naked seer out of his mind. He grabbed a book and strategically placed it in front of his lower body, trying to look as innocent as possible.
Fred looked wistful: "Well Cordy, at least people think you are sexy. All they gave me credit for were the bed and the floor. Hmmph! Bet they didn't know, last night Charles and I stopped by this gas station and…"
Gunn clamped his hand over his girlfriend's mouth: "Nothin'! We did absolutely nothing where every soul walking by could've spotted us."
"Ahem…" Finally regaining some composure, Angel shook his head and turned his head toward his son, "Conner, maybe you shouldn't be listening to…"
"Dad, please." The teenager rolled his eyes, "According to these stories, you and Cordy did it in front of me so many time when I was a baby, I ought to be scarred for life as it is."
Cordelia suddenly tensed up: "Urh… guys? As… disturbing as these talks are, we've got work to do. Vision. Vamps in the sewer near Beech St. and 46th Ave. Planning some kind of freakish ritual. Gotta move now."
Everyone dispersed to get ready. Conner followed Angel to the weapon cabinet: "Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know someone named Dawn?"
"Yeah. She's Buffy's sister." He eyed his son warily, "Why do you ask?"
"She's gonna be my girlfriend." His son proudly announced.
"WHAT!"
Conner just shrugged. Hey, the way he figured, he's made from two vamps, that girl's made from a ball of energy. They are destined for one another.
Angel scowled, sensing one major brooding coming up.
later that night
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm leaving now." Cordelia grabbed her purse and peaked into the office curiously, "What are you doing?"
"Oh… ah, there's some research about a demon that I gotta finish…"
Cordelia frowned slightly: "Isn't Wes taking care of all the research these days?"
"Well yeah, but ah… this isn't really job related. It's a… a friendly demon who is my uh, friend. So you know… thought I'd catch up on how he's doing these days by... reading some books, him being famous and all…"
"Oh okay. I'm going then. Don't stay up too late." Cordelia bid him goodnight and turned toward the front door, rolling her eyes. Couldn't he just use the phone instead? Weird vamp.
Angel looked at her slender form until she was out of his sight, and quickly buried himself in the text again.
He has got to find a way to bind that pesky soul of his. All these "fanfictions" that they discovered earlier really got him to think.
Damn! Even Angelus wasn't THAT creative. And Cordy naked…
He flipped through the pages feverishly. Gotta try revolving doors. He had never done revolving doors.
20 minutes later
Cordelia unlocked the door to her apartment. "Dennis! I'm home!"
The lights flicked on as the ghost's greeting.
"Thanks Dennis." She tossed the keys on her coffee table and flopped down on the couch. She blushed slightly as she thought back to that one particularly well-written piece of her and Angel on the couch, and shook her head to clear the image.
And then there's one about a revolving door… She snorted. Yeah right! Like you could ever find one that's not facing a whole street. And we are talking about Angel here. He like, DEFINED the word "private guy."
Cordelia shook her head in amusement. Some people just don't think things through.
End.