Okay, so we were watching The Hours in my Literature and the Media class. After one such dramatic scene, I started thinking. And in Study Hall, this was produced. It's another angstful one, but hey, it's Chimera. What you gonna do?
Reviews are great, and criticism is greatly, and happily appreciated!
DISCLAIMER: I do not Hellboy in away, whether it be the comics, the movie, or the characters. The only thing I own is my character, Chimera.
Life isn't as simple as everyone thinks it is. Normal human beings see it as hurdles, challenges that have to be overcome and won. They laugh. They smile. They stare out into the distance. They think. They cry. Normal human beings think that their life is run by actions and emotions. They are only half right.
The only thing humans see is themselves. They see people around them, the items, the want. They only think about themselves. Their safety. Their life. They don't think about the people who are castaways. People who aren't normal. People who are cursed with things they didn't even want. They see freaks. They think of us as different, and then immediately they become xenophobic. They stare for that last second, and then turn away. Hoping, no...wishing, that they may never see us again. What they don't understand is actually quite vast. We protect them, from even more things that they don't understand. As Father puts it, they are things in the world that go bump in the night. And...we are the ones who bump back.
I want to stare out of a window, but I can only stare at a wall. As I think, I can't help but let my youthful mind wander to their civilizations and wonder...what is it like up there? What is it like when the sun shines? What is it like to live in the true world? Because my world is just books, a planetarium, runes, and fighting for people that barely even accept us. Hellboy says that he likes the people. He says that he likes the world. I have only seen the world at night. Or at least, most of the time. I have seen the sun rise in different countries, foreign countries where I can fluently speak the language. I barely even know if I like the city above.
I am brought out of my thoughts when a large, red hand places itself on my shoulder, and I can feel the runes near the hand start to burn at the close proximity of the very being that they were made to protect. I ignore the burning and turn to look at the man who calls me little sister, and whom I call big brother.
"Whatcha thinking 'bout, Chim?" he asks. How many times has he asked me that question in my short lifetime?
"Life..." I pause and turn back to look at the blank, gray walls,"...and humans."
"You say that as if you weren't one," he replies as he sits down next to me on the floor. The stars that are projected from the machine are moving about the room, and I can see my shadow as one such projection passes over my head.
"Well, in my view, I'm not. And neither are you."
He laughs. "True. Very true. But I'm different."
"How so?" I ask quickly.
He doesn't say anything for a bit. Most likely trying to give me a good enough statement for me to believe it.
"Because, I was born this way. And whether you like to remember it or not, you were born as a human."
...He was right. In the few seconds that I would have lived, I was human. In the few seconds before my heart would have failed, I had lived. In the first few seconds, I was me. But...then that had all changed and the evidence was seen all over my body. Now I understood. Even if I didn't understand all of it, I at least was starting to understand some of it.
"I think...I am starting to get it."
"Get what?" Hellboy asks, obviously confused.
"My existence. My reason for living down in this little hellhole."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I don't get it completely but I'm starting to. Remind me...next time we meet or see Lucifer...to thank him."
Hellboy was surprised. Like really surprised. And he was actually showing it. He turned towards me, gold eyes wide.
"What! Why! You hate Lucifer!"
I stood.
"I know. But he is the reason I am alive. And that allowed me to meet you, Father, Abe, and Liz, right?"
Hellboy stood.
"I guess."
"I think I'm going to go do some reading. You want to come?"
"I'd rather be with my cats."
"Suit yourself."
I turned, left my room and headed towards the library, and a small, rare smile on my face. I was starting to get it. Something that I hadn't been able to do my whole life. And that made me happy.
For all eighteen years of my life, not once have I understood why I have stayed here. But, slowly and surely, it is starting to become clear. The blur is sharpening and I can see the reason come together like a puzzle.
Life isn't as simple as everyone thinks it is. Normal human beings see it as hurdles, challenges that have to be overcome and won. I see it as a reason. A reason to stay here with the BPRD. A reason to stay with my friends. A reason to stay where I belong. With the people that completely understand me. For who I am, and for what I am. And it is actually quite simple.