Hey guys! This is the first song fic I have done in quite some time, and I went back to a older style I used in other works I didn't put up on FF. Anyway, hope you folks enjoy! Disclaimers at the bottom!
'Pathetic.'
It was the word he had mentally carved into his mind. It was one of the only things he could call himself that was acceptable to say in public. Many things had happened to him since his team broke apart years ago. Once a revered hero, savior of the lylat system, Fox McCloud, the famous leader of the Star Fox Mercenary Squad. What was he now?
'Pathetic.'
Shattered. A cold blooded bounty hunter, capturing or killing, a broken part of a former life. He lost everything, the Great Fox, Star Fox, his friends, and his love, Krystal. He'd tried to get over her, and everything that disappeared from his life. In the beginning, he resented his old life, hatred and anger fulled his new job. Every kill he put an old face on the enemy. It was a vain attempt to rid himself of his past. After a few months he stopped that, and tried to get in contact with everyone. He found out that they had moved on without him, much like Krystal did. So, he forgot them for good. In the years after, he tried to rationalize it in his mind, why keep a job with people that looked to you as a leader when you could just become anti-social and get paid to use what was left of his skills.
'Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about them.'
It was bad when he went on, thinking about the past. It led him back to her, always. Krystal was normally at the forefront of his mind. Even though he screwed up with her all those years ago, he still wanted her back. There wasn't anything about her that he didn't miss. But he had broken his promise, their promise. He thought that they could just go back together after everything was said and done, but he could never be more wrong. It took him a while to realize he had brought this upon himself, and now that he knew that, he wanted to at least truly apologize to her. But since the Anglar war she had dropped off the radar. He tried searching a while back, and had to give up, he didn't have the funds or the means to go on long searches.
'Not that she'd want me back.'
Now he found himself at his normal hangout. His old house on Papetown. The planet had gotten popular a few years back, they put in a new singles club, it pumped beats, but didn't really appeal to the older citizens. Fox, or Shattered as his employer called him, had a fantastic view of his hometown. Not that it mattered, he didn't have anyone to share it with, he was an outlaw in his own house, or so he felt. Fox looked down at his wrist comm, the old logo still gleaming as it reflected the sunset, though faded. It was nearly time for his weekly appearance at an older bar. It was something he did to remind himself of how he felt. For some reason, it was a calming part of his week. He sighed, pulling on a black wife beater, that went along with his long cameo shorts. "Let's not keep the masses waiting."
Fox breathed in the refreshing scent of old beer, blood, and other things he didn't even know. It wasn't much, but it was a sanctuary nonetheless. Here he didn't need a name, just mic and a song. The barman nodded at Fox as he entered. "Everything is ready for you, seems like it isn't going to be much of a crowd.
"That's fine, I prefer it this way." Fox muttered, he quickly scanned his audience, seemed like a few regulars and some new people, likely trying to forget their problems, much like Fox had before. "Play the normal track." The barman nodded and set up the song for Fox. It was a song he had sung here before, but it touched him too emotionally to play more than once a month. It was the way the lyrics hit him, like a blaster from the landmaster, somehow it just reminded him of what was, and what was to come. He heard the beginning of the song play as he stood up on the stage, he pulled up the stool close to the mic. "Look at me." Fox whispered. "A battle hardened Merc, singing a song. What would the others say now? Falco... He'd likely make fun of me. Slippy would... well, he'd do something. Peppy would fall asleep. Krystal would..." Fox sighed, this song had been on a loop while he looked for Krystal. "She'd sing along."
As he heard his que come closer he cleared his throat, ready for the emotional trip he willingly place himself on.
"And now I wait my whole lifetime
For you
And now I wait my whole lifetime
For you"
Fox felt the bar look over at him, the regulars knew what the song was, and sipped at their drinks while he played. The new people were enthralled, whether they had hear the song before or not, they were paying attention now.
"I ride the dirt I ride the tide
For you
I search the outside search inside
For you"
The music picked up slightly as Fox slowly moved his head to the rhythm, rocking like the the ocean in cape claw.
"To take back what you left me
You know I'll always burn to be
The one who seeks so I may find
So on I wait my whole lifetime"
The last note carried for a few seconds, the emotion began to have an effect on Fox, he felt tears begin to form but rubbed his eyes quickly, not ready for people to see how this truly made him feel. Now he felt as though he was singing it not just for Krystal, but too her as well. It was an illusion he place on himself to pretend to be reopened his eyes and took a quick look around. No one had gone back to their own thoughts, they all were drawn in by his song.
"I'm Outlaw torn
I'm Outlaw torn
By now people who knew the song had begun to sing along, Fox could see their mouths moving in sync with his. He would have smiled, but he had forgotten how to do that years ago.
I'm Outlaw torn
And I'm torn"
The song went back to it's soft bass beat, this stanza was the hardest for Fox as he knew all it meant for him was his failed search for Krystal.
"So on I wait my whole lifetime
For you
So on I wait my whole lifetime
For you"
It was all he could do now. Wait, and hope that somehow, someway he and Krystal could be together once more. It was a dream, but dreaming was one of his few sanctuaries left.
"The more I search the more my need
For you
The more I bless the more I bleed
For you"
The rhythm picked back up, this time Fox stood up with it, kicking the stool away as he poured began to let the emotion help him through the song.
"You make me smash the clock and feel
I'd rather die behind the wheel
Time was never on my side
So on I wait my whole lifetime"
He knew that would be the truth, he would wait until that day he finally saw here again. Even if it was for a few minutes, he would wait. He would make things right even if she didn't want him around. It was at this time that Fox noticed some more people come in, likely people that had just gotten off a late shift, or more drunks. Not that he cared, he was too into the song to really see if it was anyone he knew.
"I'm Outlaw torn
I'm Outlaw torn
And I'm torn"
The next bit Fox thought was his cry for help. No one would come to his aid now though, not after disgracing his Family's name. His dad left Star Fox to him, and what did he do with it? Disband it, and sweep it under a rug, never to be heard of again. He had brought this pain on himself, and right now he didn't want to feel it. Escaping yourself, as Fox found out, it hard to do.
"Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open"
He wished that he could have seen the damage he would cause to his team. He kicked Krystal off the team, and suddenly his life fell apart. He saw her in his mind now, happy. Like they were before the Anglar threat.
"See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware"
Now he saw the last time Star Fox was together, he had been happy again. But he was worried, it was an uneasy reunion. Krystal was civil with him, if but barely. Falco, well he knew that it wouldn't be long before he left again. Slippy had a family to start, so it left Fox feeling lonely. So he plastered on a face and hid his feelings, retreating into the shell that only Krystal could pull him out of.
"Hold me
And if I start to come undone
Stitch me together"
Who would be there to help him now? Having abandoned everything and everyone that supported him in the past. Who would come to his rescue? Would he die alone?
"See me
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn"
The solo of the song was beginning, and Fox picked the stool back up. He had a few minutes so he hailed the bartender over. Having been a regular at the bar for quite some time Fox's drink was poured and on a tray as soon as he waved at the bartender. He muttered a thanks and took his drink. Double shot straight vodka, with a shot of some random red liquor he pointed at the first time he came to this bar. It burned as it went down this throat, giving him the appearance he needed. The drink was too strong and cause his eyes to water so much, not the song itself. As the solo carried on Fox ordered a second drink, he wanted to drown his memories, kill them so he couldn't link everything that he did to everyone he loved. He knew the Alcohol merely enriched his visions, tormenting him further.
He noticed a few people air guitaring the solo as if began to whine down. Fox downed his drink and forced his mind blank, he only had one last stanza to go through, and he didn't want to become the emotional wreck that he was in public.
"Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware"
Fox lost control a little bit, letting a tear fall down his cheek. He didn't care anymore, it wasn't like anyone knew who he was anymore. After this song was over he'd get a call, and that would led to another week away from the Lylat system, and another chance to forget what had happened.
"Hold me
And if I start to come undone
Stitch me together
See me
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn."
As his voice echoed, he got off the stool, and went to the bar to pay for his drinks. The small crowd was clapping and cheering for him, and Fox wished he could join them in their alcohol infused happiness. The bartender took Fox's credits handing him a small folded piece of took it and opened it, quickly skimming over the note. It was just two words and another smaller trinket. Fox re-read the note all it said was:
"Miss you."
Fox sighed, it was likely from some old fan girl. He put the paper in his pocket and looked at the trinket. The more he studied it, the more it seemed to make him think of Krystal. Upon further investigation, Fox realized it was a charm he could hang off a necklace, and he found it that he could open it as well. What he found inside made him was an old picture of him and Krystal on Fichina. Fox couldn't believe it, Krystal was here, or atleast she was. Fox felt something he hadn't in some time, Hope. He heard his com go off with his call, but he ignored it. He knew the only spaceport on Papetown, and he had to get there. "I'm coming for you Krystal." Whether or not he would make it in time, he didn't know. But he knew he was going to do everything in his power to try.
Hours Later
Fox panted as he got to the spaceport. He couldn't rest long, he had to find her. He quickly ran to the nearest data console, mashing buttons in an attempt to get information on Krystal, had she brought her Cloudrunner? Or did she get here in a cruiser? 'They say if you love something to let it go.' Fox stopped at her voice, he frantically searched around him for any sight of Krystal.
'I let you go once. I don't want to do it again.' Fox knew that she had to be close, or else she wouldn't be able to enter his mind. 'Please Krys, I want to see you one more time.'
'I didn't come here looking for you. I came here to try and get away. But when I heard you sing... it was like I was back on the Great Fox, listening to music with you.' Krystal moved slightly, getting a better view of Fox, she felt bad to make him squirm so much, but she knew she had to do it.
'I wish I could tell you how sorry I was, but I want to speak with you, in person.' Fox began to walk around, heading for the stairs. 'Please I owe you that much and more.' Fox was taking two steps at a time to climb up the busy stairwell. He walked towards an empty bench and sat down, closing his eyes and focusing his mind, waiting for Krystal's soothing voice to flood his mind once more.
Krystal sighed, moving to sit beside the broken vulpine. Fox didn't notice her presence, still trying to sense Krystal. "Open your eyes you idiot."
Fox opened his eyes and looked beside him, noticing a blue furred arm in his peripheral vision. "Krys?"
"I should be walking away from you right now... but for the love of me I can't make myself go." Krystal held her head in her hands. "You broke my heart you know."
"I broke our hearts Krystal." Fox whispered. He wanted to touch her, convince himself that this was no illusion. "And I've paid a heavy price for doing so."
"I heard what happened to Star Fox." Krystal laughed. "Don't tell me you let it fall apart because I wasn't there."
"It fell apart on its own. What's a team without a leader? I gave the team to Falco." Fox sighed heavily. "So yeah, it did fall apart without you there because of what I became after you left for good."
"You don't seem to be trying to pin this on anyone." Krystal stated, she looked over at Fox again. He looked the same to her, but at the same time there was a different aura around him.
"I'm the only one to blame for what has happened." Fox grabbed Krystal's hand out of instinct, but quickly withdrew it. "Sorry." He felt Krystal retake his hand. "Krys... I know we could never go back to what we had. But I want to know if we can still be friends."
"Friends?" Krystal scoffed. "We were more than friends, and I can say that was the best time of my life." Krystal patted his hand with her free one. "I'd love to be friends with you again, but it's going to take a while before I feel like I can trust you like I once did."
"That's fine." Fox replied quickly. "It's more than I could ask for." Fox felt his face contort into a smile, smiling more as Krystal leaned against him slightly. It wasn't exactly what he had hoped for, but it was something they could work with. "Thank you."
So, When I was working on this I was listening to the Symphony and Metallica version of the song, and not the Load album version. For some reason it just fit the mood I was going for in this fic better. xD
Star Fox Belongs to Nintendo
Song used: Outlaw Torn - Metallica They own it not me.
H-T