Hi there lovely readers, I'm not entirely sure what this is, or where it came from but this is how I think the ZW breakup should play out. I can't shake off the feeling that he didn't cheat, I really hope I'm right. Thanks for all the lovely reviews on my other one shots it means so much! So enjoy and please let me know what you think! x
Somehow during one of her many "I don't need a man" freakouts of the past month Zoe had decided that getting out of Bluebell and hitting up random bars was the solution. She thought, as long as there was not a Lily Ann in sight there was no harm in having some drinks and maybe meeting a hot stranger who would help her forget about you-know-who. Turns out she really wasn't that kind of girl and would end up leaving the bar each time feeling more empty and pathetic than the time before.
This particular night she'd stroke up conversation with a girl who shared her mutual dislike for the male population of Alabama.
"who needs guys anyway, I'm a strong independent woman, a Doctor for peets sake!" Zoe declared.
"tell me about it, last month I was about to hook up with this guy, even got him back to my apartment, he was so wasted he wouldn't stop talking about his girlfriend, now that was a buzz killer" the woman slurred.
"eww, you're telling me that not only was he cheating on his girlfriend but he wanted to over compensate, share some of the guilt, guys are seriously such vermin" Zoe said as she signaled to the bartender to refill her wine glass.
"you have no idea, one minute he's propositioning me at the bar, then we're at my place, I barely get his shirt off him and he's all slurring, barely audible, all I could make out was something about a sign and how this poor Zoe girl is gonna hate him and how he loves her and he's letting her down, turns out he lost some contest or somethin"
Zoe snapped her head around and froze. "oh my god" she whispered. 'It can't be Wade she thought, this can't be happening.
"I KNOW! I mean I felt kind of bad for the guy really, he was practically crying right there on my couch" the blonde laughed.
"s-s-so what you slept with him anyway?" Zoe held her breath, waiting for a response. Not even sure why she was asking.
The girl continued to laugh "Hell no, he made it pretty clear he made a mistake the second he walked in the door... he passed out on the bed and by the morning he was gone" she stated.
'Does that mean... he didn't, oh god' Zoe thought as she sunk down into her bar stool. "right, of course, yeah" she had to know so she asked "what did you say his name was?"
"Wade or somethin... I know even his name makes him sound like douche right? honestly I don't even know what I was thinking, dodged myself a bullet there sister." the girl ranted, but Zoe wasn't really listening.
Everything was hazy and she was pretty sure it wasn't the wine. "ha, bullet right." she replied. She stood up in a confused daze looking around for an unknown something, "Umm I'm gonna go it was lovely talking to you..."
"Sandy" the girl answered.
"Right Sandy, goodnight... and thanks" she said as she headed hard and fast for the door.
"what for?" Sandy shouted back to her across the bar.
Zoe shook her head and replied "just...thank you."
She lingered outside his house listing all the reasons she shouldn't be here, how it didn't matter what he had to say, or what he really did because as she saw it his original intention that night, when he chose to leave that bar with someone that was not her, would still give them the same outcome, some things were just not worth saving.
This of course was a huge lie. Because besides the fact he didn't cheat, he also confessed to a complete stranger that he was in love with Zoe. Some would say she was pretty dumb for a Doctor for not seeing it before, because those words shook Zoe Hart to the core. He, Wade, had fallen in love with her, she'd spent longer than she'd admit just wondering why hearing of Wade's infidelity had hurt her so much, how it had made her feel physically sick when she was still so unsure of what they were even doing. But as it seems, hearing how much he really felt for her only made her realise that she kind of loved him too.
As she reached his door, she recalled the conversation they'd had on that very spot just five weeks earlier, when she told him she'd figure out a way to move on, it the same figuring out which lead her to the very reason she was even in this situation. The irony was almost laughable, turns out moving on wasn't what the world wanted for Zoe Hart.
She knocked lightly and saw his silhouette appear from somewhere inside the house. She tried vigorously to ignore the way her heart sunk when she spotted him. He looked awful, well awful for Wade. Lavon wasn't kidding, he had been beating himself up ever since she left him on that bench, it was written all over his face. He was unshaven and had large dark circles heavy under his eyes.
"Hey, it's awful late Doc is everything ok or?" he said stepping out of the way of the door to welcome her in.
"no not really, I mean I guess it is, but..." Zoe took a seat and faded off into a daydream. She was dragged back to reality when Wade cleared his throat.
"Zo" he said with a furrowed brow and that glint of protectiveness that had never been expressed by any other man in her life.
Choosing not to get straight to the point, Zoe decided to get the facts, if she was going to forgive him, if she chose too, she had to know what she was forgiving, however much it hurt.
"Wade what happened that night... after you left the bar" she sighed.
"Zoe come on don't do this" he replied desperately.
"Please, no excuses, no telling me you're sorry, just be the guy I need you to be right now and be honest with me... "
"It's all real blurry" he rubbed his eyes, shaking his head.
"well then, whatever you remember" she shrugged, with a hopeful look in her eyes, a look he didn't understand, he really didn't want to go through all of this again.
"why?" he sunk his head into his hands.
"Wade." she replied sternly.
Zoe Hart was stubborn, she would stay here all night, he knew it. So he relented, and stood beginning to pace in front of her as she sat on the sofa, watching him.
"I was dancing with..."
"the girl" she finished.
"yeah the girl and she asked me if I wanted to get out of there, I was sick of the pity stares from George freakin' Tucker, and I was drunk so I did... I left, with her." he hated this.
Wade walked over to the couch and sat down, rubbing is hand behind his neck. It meant he was nervous, Zoe wished she didn't know that.
"and then..." she pushed, yeah he really hated this.
"and then, well then I don't remember, I must have blacked out you know, after. Next thing I remember is waking up in the morning in this strangers apartment on the outskirts of Mobile, I left and spent two hours looking for a way back to Bluebell... to you." he really really really hated this.
Zoe rolled her eyes and exhaled, she hadn't even realised she'd been holding her breath. He looked over at her with that same devastated look he gave her on the bench when this whole mess blew up in their faces.
"so you don't have any actual recollection of sleeping with that woman?" she asked.
"well... no" thinking back he didn't, not an ounce.
"you're an idiot"
"stating the obvious there Doc" he said sarcastically, she'd missed that. Not that she missed him, she told herself. Again, a huge lie.
"no I mean, a colossal, mind blowingly, incomprehensibly stupid guy"
"I screwed up ok, look-" Wade said as Zoe began to laugh uncontrollably. Wade stopped talking and just watched as she almost toppled over, holding her stomach and shaking her head as she laughed.
"why are you laughing? this isn't funny!"
Calming herself down she turned back to an extremely confused Wade.
"you know who I ran into last night... Sandy" she quipped.
"who the hell is Sandy?"
"you are kidding me? Sandy... Sandy as in the woman from that night, looks like a super model, blue eyes, likes to over share Sandy?" she rose her eyebrows.
"shit"
"yup, you wanna know what she told me Wade?"
he interrupted her "please stop Zoe, I don't want to hear this I'm glad I can't remember ok, that I can't picture her face or her body or what I did, I wish it had never happened, I hate myself enough, so whatever you have to say please jus-"
"oh no Kinsella, this you're going to want to hear"
"I highly doubt that" he stated.
She was probably enjoying this a little too much, torturing him like this, deciding to not get the better of herself, she continued "she was telling me about this guy she brought back to her apartment, how he wouldn't shut up about letting down his girlfriend, you know before he passed out on the bed and disappeared at sunrise"
He'd always thought Zoe was a riddle and he wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box but even he was at a loss. "what are you sayin?" he quizzed.
Cutting straight to the point and replying simply "you didn't sleep with her Wade." she said in a breath.
Wade's head snapped towards Zoe, 'this must be a joke' he thought. "I- but" he spluttered.
so she repeated "you didn't sleep with her."
"baby I-"
Wade reached for her and Zoe jumped up immediately, she was still so angry and whilst the latest twist in the story shifted things it didn't change the bottom line. She walked towards a shelf and started toying with the things on display.
Turning back to face him, the anger came back and her voice rose "but you might have, you could have, if you had wanted too, which I think you did. You self sabotage because you're scared of being happy. So yes Wade, maybe you didn't cheat on me, but you still went behind my back and lied and betrayed everything we built together. I think I'm only here, only telling you this because I don't want you to hate yourself, I don't want you to think that you did that. That isn't a weight you should carry anymore." she ranted.
He was in shock, he woke up half naked in a strangers bed, he'd broken the heart of the love of his life and all because he hadn't checked his facts. Wade leaned back into the sofa in disbelief.
Zoe clearly wasn't finished "I've spent the last month still trying to hate you, to never let myself forgive you, then here appears this woman, that same woman who unknowingly ripped my security from under my feet and changed my path to one without you and she has no idea I'm me, I'm the Zoe that the random dude from the bar said he loved when she was just trying to get laid. And it changed my path again, because I realised just how much I don't hate you, how I never could and I don't really know what to do about it."
She was ranting, he knew it. "I don't know what to say Zoe, I just can't believe this is happening"
"I guess really, I'm here because I don't know where else to be or something... dammit, I knew this was a bad idea, I can- I should go..." Zoe span on her toes and headed for the door, mumbling but still audible to Wade "what the hell am I thinking, stupid... stupid Zoe, I'll see you around"
he saw her heading for the door, leaving... again and whilst he knew he deserved it, he was real lonely without her, even if she chose to spend the entire time screaming bloody murder about how much she hates him, at least she was there.
Just as she reached for the handle he spoke "Woah, no Zo, wait, just hold up there Doc"
She turned to look at him sheepishly with a look of confusion and frustration etched all over her face.
"Look my entire life I've been running from happiness, full speed. I don't think I was right when I told you about your happiness Zo, you deserve to have a life that fits your picture and God I have never loved anything as much as I do you but I made that choice for a reason that night, I didn't realise it at the time but I did and so ok I didn't sleep with her and honestly I still feel just as shitty... and right now I could stand here and make promises and try and be the perfect guy for you but where will that get us, I don't want to imagine my life without you but me being selfish has screwed with enough people and I don't want you to be the next victim. This way it still lets you go find the picture, maybe this was always meant to end." Wade visibly winced saying it, he hated it, but he thought it true. He didn't want to be the guy to ruin Zoe Hart.
Silence fell and Zoe's mind was racing in a fight or flight limbo, over the past weeks she'd ran, ran away from the pain and the anger and the feeling in her gut that this... whatever it was with Wade wasn't over, that it never had made sense, how he could look at her how he did and still betray her so easily. But it wasn't easy, none of it was and meeting that woman in that bar only cemented the fact that Wade's insecurities were much more deep rooted than not winning that stupid contest and whilst he'd spent the entire time she was in Bluebell watching her back and helping her through she had never, honestly returned the favor, so she decided it was her time to fight for him and maybe that included fighting for them too.
"and what about you, you get to make choices that get me my perfect picture but I don't get a say in yours? what's your picture Wade? do you even have one? because the last time we had this conversation I hadn't fallen in love with the damaged ex lothario who makes stupid decisions, but makes my heart literally jump out my chest whenever he walks in the room, who can calm me down with a single touch, who is so heartbreakingly misunderstood, but for some reason I totally understand, who puts up with all my high maintenance crap and still manages to be the only guy who has ever made me feel worth something..." she took a deep well earned breath, Wade gently grabbed her hand. It was their first ounce of contact since the breakup. Zoe lifted her eyes from the spot on the floor and in barely a whisper admitted;
"I don't know how to stop loving you and it's killing me that when my every instinct is telling me to run so fast from this, my heart wants everything with you. I can't believe I didn't realise it before, trust me, this whole mess is my fault too."
The silence was almost deafening, Wade just didn't know what to say, how to make this better, how to just send her away and tell her to be happy without him.
"Because how can I trust you right?" she continued "why should I trust you? so you have to tell me what is your picture? owning a bar? travelling the world? having a family? what is it Wade?" Zoe questioned.
"Honestly, why does it even matter? I shouldn't be what you need Zoe, I want to be, you have no idea how much, but I'm not a good guy, look what I did, you're right you shouldn't trust me, you shouldn't trust me with giving you a happy ending I'll screw it all up."
"ENOUGH ALREADY, dude come on, you're sounding a little pathetic. I'm on your side, I'm here, I'm talking, I'm not going anywhere, so stop being the martyr for once, you haven't got to be with me." she said.
"harsh, even given the circumstances"
"then tell me your picture Kinsella, if you- " she rose to stand over him, he pulled her back down beside him on the sofa.
"fine... but like don't laugh or whatever" he said seriously, causing Zoe to scrunch her nose and bump him in his shoulder.
"Remember when the flu broke and you got sick? you said that I had you and so I didn't have to look after myself anymore, it just kind of hit me, like a freakin train that I was so pathetically in love with you and for like the first time I felt like I could do it, I could be the kind of guy my Momma would have been so proud to call her Son and not because I thought it was about time I grew up, it was just because of you." Zoe was in awe, she'd never heard him speak like this before, she guessed she never thought she would, she felt her eyes begin to water and squeezed Wade's hand tight.
As Wade looked up from his lap he caught a stray tear running down Zoe's cheek with his thumb before continuing "I want you, you're my picture. Because that picture has so many possibilities that I never had any right too before, never even wanted. I can't promise you I won't screw up Zoe, but I can promise you that if you let me I'll spend everyday trying not too and to make sure you're happy, we're happy."
She smiled, no beamed at him and he responded with his signature smirk, but his eyes were full of nerves. He wasn't sure when he'd become such a softie, but he's become a lot of things since she came along.
"Have I shocked Zoe Hart into speechlessness or what?" he laughed.
"kiss me" she said matter of factly. He paused, before pulling her into him and joining their lips together.
Pulling away, but with their foreheads resting together he whispered "so, you got yourself a picture ?"
Zoe thought long and hard wondering how they had got to this point, back here, together, how she had allowed herself to give herself to someone so completely and even how it felt strangely un-scary. For the first time in her life she was able to fill in the blanks of her picture... with him.
"All I want is to live each day, every single one with my best friend, where we're a team and we deal with deadbeat dads and far away dreams, the tough stuff, and all the Bluebell drama, I want to create a completely new picture, with you."
He pulled her tight close to him, leaning back into the sofa. They spent the rest of the night in that same spot discussing the future, agreeing to forget the past and to just be happy.
because who doesn't want to be happy right?