* A Mother's Role *
.:.
...
It's a beautiful day. Sunny, with a breeze as light as a whisper, neither too hot nor too cold. It's absolutely perfect.
Jack looks at his father and then the crowd. Everyone is happy, everyone is excited. He can't help but smile. There's no reason not to do it. Aku was defeated, his family is safe, his people have been liberated from thousands of years of slavery.
Something catches his attention and he looks at the sky. Right above him, there is a very strange cloud: it's shaped like…what's the name of that terrible contraption? Oh, yeah, bagpipe!
Jack looks down at the crowd. They are all here. His people, his friends, his old teachers. If only the Scotsman were here, too…
It's the one, sad thought that is stinging his heart.
But a breath of wind sweeps away the cloud, and that thought fades away from his mind, as well. He can see the cortege coming and something in his chest inflates like a balloon.
Ashi is in the center, wearing the white shiromuko and looking as beautiful as the early morning light. He smiles at her and she smiles back.
Everything is perfect. Nothing can ruin the moment.
Jack tends his hand and Ashi grabs it. They look at each other smiling again. They've just become the happiest people in the world.
It's been a beautiful day, and the night is wonderful now.
Ashi looks out over the balcony of her new room, looking at her new home. A new world, an amazing world. The sky is starless but the moon gleams like a diamond. Jack comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her shoulders.
"Are you alright?"
Ashi nods.
"I love your home."
"I'm glad of it. This is also your home now."
"Seems almost too good to be true."
Jack stays silent for a few seconds before moving to whisper in her ear, "You are too good to be true."
Ashi rolls her eyes but can't hold back a smile. She turns towards her husband searching out his lips with hers. Her hands press against his chest making him walk backwards.
While the moon paints the world in soft white, they disappear in the darkness of their room.
It's an ordinary afternoon like many others.
Ashi and the Empress are having tea in the garden, sheltered under the blossoming cherry trees. "How are you finding life here at the palace, Ashi?"
"Oh, it's…nice." she mumbles, not knowing how to continue. Ashi really likes her new life, although sometimes she can't help but find it a little…predictable. There are always the same things to do, and each day seems to be a little slower than the previous one.
But there's not reason to say that. Maybe Ashi, born and bred in an atmosphere of war, just needs to get used to peace.
Her husband's mother nods and smiles. They both take a long sip of tea. "Are you happy with my son?"
That question is much easier to answer.
"Of course I am. I love Jack! And I can't wait to leave."
The Empress raises an eyebrow.
"Leave?"
"He promised to show me the world." Ashi's eyes sparkle like little stars. "I know there are so many things yet to do here, but he said he will soon take me away with him. He always talks to me about these strange places… Africa, Europe… Oh, and the pyramids, too! I don't know what they are, but I really want to see them!"
"This is wonderful, darling," the Empress brings her cup to her lips. "So, would you like to leave before or after you have a baby?"
Ashi isn't drinking right now, but she just feels like she's choking on something. "A baby?!"
"But of course, dear. It is necessary to ensure the continuation of the lineage." The woman's smile grows warmer. "But a child is also an unfailing source of joy. Having a son or daughter changes your life forever. Didn't you ever talk about it?"
Ashi stares after her in open-mouthed surprise, totally unprepared to address that issue. She loves Jack more than anyone else, but has never thought about having kids with him. Biting her lip, she tries to picture herself grappling with a crying and wet newborn in her arms. This image in her mind makes her shudder. "No. We've never talked about it."
The Empress nods and both of them keep drinking their tea in silence. After some minutes, Ashi simply shrugs her shoulders.
"To be honest, I don't think I want to be a mother."
It's a hot summer day, but, fortunately, not excessively. The sun's rays are falling on the ground like spears but there is a lovely breeze that makes the heat more tolerable.
Jack and Ashi, in the middle of a walk, are escorted by a chorus of cicadas. The citizens and the Emperor's family greet each other as old friends.
"Good morning, prince. Good morning, princess."
"Good morning to you."
Finally, they get close to the market.
Ashi loves the market. Its sounds, its scents. She let go of Jack's arm only to reach a horse merchant.
"They are amazing!"
"My horses are the best in all the land, my princess. The finest, the strongest, the fastest you could ever meet!"
One of the horses gently rubs its muzzle against her hand.
"How much-?"
Ashi interrupts herself. A sound similar to a giggle catches her attention and she turns her head around. A very little girl is heading towards them, attracted to the animals. A horse raises its front legs, threatening to kick her.
Ashi gasps, "Don't!"
She catches the girl before she gets too close to the hooves. Ashi lifts her and feels some kind of shiver; she has never held a child before, and she didn't expect one to be so…slight. This thought surprises her and she shakes her head.
"Are you okay?"
The little girl, probably one-year-old, looks at her and puts her thumb into her mouth.
Jack reaches them.
"Ashi, what happened?"
"Nothing, don't worry. We're okay." She says, turning to look at him with a little smile, but one of her arms is too low to hold a child.
Suddenly, her tiny head tilts back and she's going to fall.
"Careful!" Jack puts his hand under the child's back just in time, pushing her upwards so she can straighten her back.
The little girl looks at Jack, then Ashi. Then, she laughs; it seems she has confused that act with a game, because she unexpectedly shakes her legs trying to jump from Ashi's arms. Ashi gasps in panic.
"Take her, Jack! I-I don't know how-!"
"Do not fret! Put your hands here…like this…"
Passersby stop to watch them. The child giggles and squirms like a fish in the net; Ashi's freezing, having no idea what to do. Jack would take the child, but anytime he tries to, she grabs Ashi's dress, threatening to scream. Finally, they find a compromise: Ashi holds the little girl against her chest, then Jack wraps his arms around his wife, tightening both of them against him. The child calms down and yawns, and Ashi and Jack sigh with relief.
A small crowd has gathered around them.
"Oh, they look like a family!"
"Let's hope the next future Emperor come soon."
"The prince and the princess would be great parents!"
Jack and Ashi listen to the comments and their faces turn red. For some reason, neither of them can look at each other. This situation is so…strange, really strange. They've already hugged before, but now for the first time there is a third person who lay in their embrace. The feeling isn't bad, it's just…different. So different and yet so familiar at the same time. Why are they feeling they can't move away from each other?
A woman's voice rises from the crowd.
"Masako! Oh my god, my baby!"
"Do not worry, she is alright." Jack gives back the child to her mother. The woman claps her daughter to her own chest before making a low bow. "I am so sorry, my prince! She's just learned to walk but is so fast already. I got distracted for an instant…"
Ashi gives a silent snort, glad her arms are finally free from that little troublemaker. "So her name is Masako?"
"It is, my princess."
The child looks up and Ashi forces a smile. As she thought, she doesn't like kids too much. But then, suddenly, Masako giggles in delight and points her finger at her.
"Plennn-tas!"
Ashi freezes. Something in her chest begins to shift. What's going on? She has no idea how or why, but that child in front of her is just become the most adorable thing in the entire universe. A sound she has never made in her life escapes from her throat before she can stop it.
"Awwww! Look at her, Jack! Isn't she beautiful?!"
Jack blinks in surprise and looks at his wife while she is tickling Masako's nose. He has never seen her smiling like that before. His heart skips a beat when he realizes how much wonderful she looks now.
"Yes…beautiful." Jack whispers, but he's not looking at the child.
After one last bow the woman decides to come back home with Masako. Jack and Ashi watch them walk away. Again now, they are just two. They feel strange, like something's missing. Ashi looks up and finds out that Jack's staring at her. They stare deeply into each other's eyes. She smiles, and he smiles her back. There is no need for words to express what they're thinking right now.
It's a really windy night. Any gust of wind is crashing against the palace like the big sea against the reef. The gale, however, is not the reason Jack's woken up. He turns in the bed looking for his wife in the darkness.
"Ashi," he whispers, "are you alright?"
She only answers with a moan. Jack bites his lips. Another nightmare? It's probably the fifth just this week.
Jack can hear Ashi fidgeting in her sleep, so he instinctively moves closer.
"I'm here, my love."
His hand moves under the blanket, finding her back and drawing her closer to him.
Again, Ashi moans and shudders. Jack closes his eyes lowering his lips to her ear.
"I'm right here Ashi. It is a dream, only a bad dream. I love you."
He caresses her shoulders and smiles warmly. He kisses her forehead. It's so hot!
Jack's eyes go wide.
"Ashi?!" he leans across the bed, looking for a light. As soon as room lights up, he can feel his blood turning to ice water. Her eyes are shut tight, her face is red and damp, her mouth is wide open as if she can't breath.
"ASHI?"
Jack stretches out a hand towards her, but freezes. He turns around his hand, the same that was under the blanket. He rubs the fingers together. They are red. Blood!
Jack pulls off the sheets, with so much force that they rip. He looks down and gets horrified.
So much that he can't even scream.
Outside, the wind is roaring and howling like a wounded animal; inside, the air is still and no one is breathing a word. Four hours have passed. Four, slow, harrowing hours. The wait seems even longer than fifty years in the future. All the palace is awake now. The servants are peeping out from the corner of the hallway, whereas the Emperor, the Empress and their son are awaiting for news in front of the closed door.
Jack is sitting on the floor, looking ahead, hearing the pounding of his heart in his ears. His father is by his side, his mother's hands are on his shoulders, and he's feeling as if he had no lungs to breathe into. Since four.hours. The worst of his life.
Finally, the door opens and the doctor is coming out.
Jack leaps to his feet and asks, "How is she now?"
The man gives him a grave look. A few seconds passes before he says something.
"My prince…" he whispers, putting down his eyes. "…my deepest condolences."
Jack and his parents stiffen, their faces become as pale as wax.
The doctor looks up and his eyes grow wet.
"I'm so sorry. There was nothing I could do for the baby."
Jack can't breathe anymore. His head is spinning and he has to close his eyes. A little part of his heart is just gone forever.
The Empress steps forward.
"What about Ashi? Is she alright?"
The doctor sighs, "It was a miscarriage. I suppose. I mean… I've seen a lot of them in my career, but this…" he dries the sweat on his forehead. "To be honest, your majesty, I don't understand. It seems like there was some kind of…disease, in her womb. Something I'd never seen before. Something like-"
"Aku!" a young servant winces. "It was Aku! Her bad blood killed the bab-!"
But an older one gives her a nudge to interrupt her words.
"Shut up! Have you lost your mind?"
Soon, all the servants begin to whisper to each other. The Emperor stopped them with a warning look.
The doctor starts talking again like he hasn't heard anything.
"However, her body is surprisingly tough. She'll be alright, you have nothing to worry about."
Jack opens his eyes. "May I see her now?"
"She's sleeping, but I think she'll be awake soon. Just don't let her get up."
Jack nods and rushes to the door.
"Another thing, my prince." He stops himself and turns his eyes toward the doctor. "I think it's superfluous to say. But, just to be clear…" the man's eyes brook no argument. "No more babies."
Jack enters the room without having the energy to answer him back. His heart is bleeding in pain and all he wants now is to see Ashi and make sure she's fine. He wants to hug her, he wants to listen to her voice.
Jack tries to hold back his tears. What will he say to her?
It's a snowy winter. Probably the most since a century. Not even the oldest of people can remember a winter with so much snow like this. Earth and sky are the same white color, and snowflakes as big as pearls fall from the clouds with infinite slowness.
Jack, ignoring the icy air against his face and the wet snow into his shoes, walks through the palace's garden looking for something important.
"Ashi!"
She is sitting on the snow with her back resting against a tree trunk, looking up at the white sky. Jack runs to reach his wife and sits on his knees, staring at her. "Are you alright?"
Ashi looks at him with a little smile. "Of course Jack. Why?"
"Because you were gone. I have been searching for you for hours. And you are here, outside, all alone…" He removes the snow from her hair and caresses her cheeks. "Your skin is so cold!"
She grabs his hand kissing the back of the fingers.
"Sorry. I just needed to be on my own." she smiles again. "I'm fine."
He nods, but without conviction. Since several months, he's no longer sure he can believe her when she says, 'I'm fine'. Several months, it seems just like yesterday and an eternity at the same time. The death of the baby has been the worst experience of their entire life. It has been painful for Jack, truly painful, but not for Ashi. For her, it has been devastating. He can't remember the moment he told her what had happened, and the face she made for that, without feels something like a stab at his heart.
She cried and screamed, but just the first night. Since the next day she has simply stopped crying, and eating, sleeping, being the energetic Ashi he married. She is letting her own body to consume like a lit candle. Even now Jack has the feeling she was trying to be buried alive by the snow.
He doesn't know what to do. He has ever thought Ashi had a spirit as tough as a rock, but now she looks frailer than a stem of a flower.
He rubs her body trying to give her some warmth. Ashi closes her eyes and hugs Jack back. "I'm okay. For real."
"Please, come back inside. Eat something…"
"All right. Just another moment. The landscape is wonderful today." she caresses his neck and rests her chin on his shoulder. Seconds passes and they can feel less cold.
"Thanks for everything."
"I love you so much."
"…would hate me."
Jack moves away to give her a confused look. Ashi closes her eyes placing her hands over her belly. Her face is calm, but there is a little note of sadness in her voice. "I've never had a real family. I don't know anything about being a mother."
"Ashi…"
"He, or she…would hate me. I know it for sure."
"This is not true!" Jack grabs her shoulder, forcing her to look at him in the eyes. "You can't be serious, Ashi. Why did you say something like that?"
"Because I hate me, Jack! I hate myself so much that…t-that…" a sob escapes her lips, interrupting her speech. "Why do you not hate me?"
A nasty shiver passes through Jack's back. He doesn't know what to say, so just holds his wife and kisses her warmly, again and again, with all the love he's capable of giving her.
But the snow doesn't stop falling, slow and unrelenting. It's covering their souls with ice without them knowing it.
It's a bad day.
Actually, all the windows of the room are kept closed, so nobody here knows what the weather is today. But it doesn't matter. In any case, with the sun or the rain, this is certainly an horrible day for Jack.
He's standing in front of his father councilors, and simply can't believe his own ears. "…what?!"
"It's for the best of the empire, my prince. Think about it" one of the men shows him the picture he's holding in his hands. "This woman would be an ideal candidate. She has noble origins and seems to have a strong physical constitution. Also, she's a lovely girl. Maybe you can-"
"…what kind of absurdity is this?"
"My prince…"
"Are you suggesting me to betray my wife?!"
A chorus of Nooooo! is the answer at his question. An old man steps forward. "We would never ask you something like that, your majesty." The all nod in agreement to that.
"This is not betrayal. The empire needs a heir!"
"If you take a fertile woman as your concubine, everything will be alright."
"You could choose another woman, if you don't like this one. Maybe someone who looks more like the princess…"
Jack shakes his head; he is flabbergasted and disgusted at the same time.
"Father!" he looks at the Emperor with imploring eyes. "This is ridiculous! You don't agree with this, do you?"
The Emperor closes his eyes and the whole room falls silent. He wearily sighs. "Of course I don't. I know how much you love your wife. Furthermore, she is like a daughter to your mother and me. Nobody wants to see you or her suffering anymore."
Jack lowers his shoulders in relief. He's going to thank him, but the Emperor has not done talking yet.
"However, my opinion is not important. You have to be the one who decides what to do, my son."
"There is nothing to decide. I will never betray Ashi!"
"One day I will be gone forever, and you will take my place as the new Emperor. What do you think would happen if you die without a heir? Power struggles would arise and the empire would fall into chaos. The peace you have worked so hard for would collapse like a card castle."
"Ashi is the one who bring you the peace, father." Jack turns around to look at the imperial advisers. "If it hadn't been for her Aku would still be alive! She opened the portal that led me to the past, she saved the world from the evil!"
"Yes, but…" a man mumbles. "It was you, prince, who defeated the great evil with the sword."
"Anyway, I'm thinking we are missing the point here. The imperial dynasty descends directly from the goddess Amaterasu. We cannot afford to interrupt it!"
"This is probably a good thing, after all. I don't think people would have accepted the grandchild of Aku as their own emp-"
Outside the closed door, Ashi gasps. Not because of those words, but because of the sound of a hand beating against the table. It was so powerful that she could feel the whole room trembling in fear. It was really Jack? It's hard to believe, she has never seen her husband lose it like that. The room is now completely silent and all Ashi can hear is the echo of those last words in her mind. She bites her lip; she shouldn't have been eavesdropping.
She slowly pushes her back away from the wall and starts walking down the hallway. She feels choked. She needs to get away from it all.
Jack included.
The forest is quiet, wrapped in a light white fog that makes it looks like a fairyland. The sound of a far-away thunder catches Ashi's attention and she looks up at the sky. A storm is going to come. Maybe she should come back to the palace, but she need a little more time alone. She caresses her horse's neck letting him to choose the way he prefer. All Ashi wants now is to be alone with her own thoughts. Even if they hurt, even if are talking to her through her mother's white mask.
'You are useless, Ashi. Did you really believe you have found your place in the world? Everyone is ready to replace you now.'
She closes her eyes, used to this feeling; since was little, she underwent a really cruel training, and nobody cared if she lived or died. She and her sisters were there to replace each other.
'You are weak. You chose to be a wife and a mother, and you couldn't do well none of that.'
Ashi can't deny it. She lost Jack's child and from that moment, she has become a burden for everyone. Even for him. No, especially for him. How can he say he still loves her, despite everything?
'You are so insignificant. If he decides to take another woman-'
Ashi silences that thought with a little snarl. Her mother's mask gives her a cruel laugh.
'Poor, poor Ashi. What reason could he possibly have for staying with someone like you? Doesn't he deserves some happiness?'
"Shut up."
'Because I'm sure he would be happier without you. You agree?'
"SHUT UP!"
A roar of thunder accompanies her shout. She opens her eyes and stops the horse. Then she looks around, hearing the silence of the forest. So strange, she was sure she has heard something. Was she wrong? It was probably an animal or something.
The horse shakes his head and Ashi caresses his neck. The damp air stings her nose; it's going to rain soon. Better look for a shelter. It's even starting to get dark, so she has to find some firewood by the tr-
Another scream!
Ashi raises her chin. She wasn't wrong; there is someone somewhere who is asking for help. She makes her horse run fast.
She can now clearly hear the screams; there are so many, and are so desperate. The air smells burnt. The horse gallop among the trees and stops his hooves when they reach the edge of a cliff. Ashi looks down at the valley. A village hidden by the hills is on fire. People, as small as bugs, are running away towards the rice fields but someone else is chasing them with spears and swords. She doesn't take long to understand what's going on: robbers.
Ashi gets off the horse and let herself fall into the void, using the protruding rock as supports. As soon as she touches the ground she runs towards the village. In front of her, when she reaches the rivers of the fields, a old woman trips forward and one of the brigands is ready to kill her with his spear.
"Stop!"
The man doesn't have time to look up, that a powerful kick hits his face, making him spit out a lot of his teeth. At the same time a lightning cuts the sky in two. The scene is illuminated in an instant as long as an eternity.
The bandit falls unconscious to the ground, and Ashi starts running again. Now the screams are really high, the air is not breathable. When she reaches the village she starts looking around. Her breath catches and her eyes widen. The robbers are killing anyone in their way; only the youngest women are spared, dragged towards a big cart along with the stolen goods. Everywhere Ashi turns she sees something bad happening. It's terrible! Her heart grows angry roaring like a wild beast.
"I said STOP!"
One of the bandit is walking out from a house on fire with a flashing torch in his hand. Ashi makes him fly with a powerful punch. She grabs a second one by the arm and bends it until it breaks; she immobilizes a third one with a kick on his stomach.
"Who's that? Get her!"
More than fifty robbers suddenly stop looting, turning all their weapons against Ashi. She looks at them one at a time, ready to fight. A blue lightning shines the scene making her look like an otherworldly creature.
'You are weak, Ashi!'
She dodges an approaching arrow with a growl. How can it be that, even now, she can still hear her mother's poisoned words in her own mind? She hits herself against the archer putting a knee into his ribs. Another bandit runs pointing his sword at her, and a third one is ready to beat her with his stone mallet. She hits both of them with a single kick, and in that moment, suddenly, something snaps inside of her.
'Did you believe you could be happy? Your baby died because you are weak!'
Ashi screams. All the angry, all the painful she had securely locked away, are now exploding in her mind like a bomb. She keeps fighting and her force grows stronger and faster under the increasing fury of the sky. She hits any enemy in her way and doesn't stop even when they are trying to escape.
'Your baby died because of you! Jack is suffering because of you!'
"Please!" one of the brigands falls backwards covering his face with his hands. "Don't hurt me please! I- I have wife and kids!"
Ashi looks down at the knife he is holding in his hand, the blade is wet with blood. An icy shiver races down her spine and she can feel a deep hatred towards the man in front of her. She wants to hurt him, to make him suffer. So she grabs the knife out of his hand and is going to do something with that. Her mother's voice is so clear now, as if she were speaking right into her ear.
'Kill him!'
That order makes her shudder. Ashi could easily do it; this man is a criminal and would deserve it. Instead, she let him go and stares at him run away with his accomplices. She doesn't stop to look at them until they become just black points on the horizon.
The adrenaline starts to leave her slowly, same thing for the anger. She stays motionless for a few long minutes, not sure about what thinking or feeling. The first drop of rain hits her cheek sliding down her face just like a tear. Forces leave her without warning and she falls on her knees, drops the knife and raises her hands to cover her belly. Why does she suddenly feels so alone?
A sob escapes her lips.
"Jack…" she lies down on the ground nearing her knees to her chest. She closes her eyes and moans. "Jack!"
And the rain pours on her, as cold as snow.
The air smells of smoke and straw. Ashi slowly opens her eyes. She finds herself lied down on a unfamiliar futon, inside an unfamiliar house. A poor house that is only one room deep. The ceiling is burnt but fortunately still intact. An unfamiliar hand leans on her forehead and Ashi turns her eyes. She recognizes that woman: it's the same she saved in the rice field.
"How are you?"
Ashi is not really sure she can answer to that question. "…how long have I slept?"
"Several hours, miss. It's almost night already."
Ashi nods closing her eyes. She should come back to the palace. Jack is probably worried.
'Or maybe he has already chosen a girl with whom replace you.'
"Shut. up!"
"…what did you say?"
"Nothing, it's nothing." Ashi comes back to look at the woman. She is old but she is still pretty. "Is anyone hurt?"
"Someone, miss, but none of them seriously." she lowers her eyes to the floor. "But lots of us have died."
"I- I'm so sorry…"
"Don't say so. Now the village would be just a pile of rubble if it weren't for you. We all owe our life to you." She sighs. "Of course, there is something to do about all that orphans and widows, but I'm sure we'll find a solution. By the way, miss, we found you horse. It's tied out here."
"Thank you." Ashi mumbles sitting down. She stretches her arms out and suddenly realizes she is wearing male clothes. The woman smiles. "Your dress was completely ruined. This is a suit of my dear son. I'm sorry, but I had nothing else."
"It's okay." Ashi smiles her back "Where is your son now?"
"He died some years ago, miss. Killed by Aku himself."
Ashi gasps and her smile dies on her lips. Silence falls on them like a brick wall. The old woman looks so quiet, but Ashi can see, deep in her eyes, a spark of painful. Like a fire still smoldering under the ashes.
Ashi looks down at the blankets. Her hands caress her belly and she can't stop saying, "…I lost my child, too."
The woman nods, saying nothing. Ashi, somehow, can feel there is some kind of mutual understanding with that unknown person. She can't help but open up to her. "It's so…strange, you know. They trained me to endure any kind of pain. But when I heard my baby was dead, it has been like…as if…"
"Nothing strange about that, my dear. If you didn't feel pain at all, you wouldn't be a human being."
"My mother didn't! My sisters died and she didn't bat an eye for them."
The woman shrugs her shoulders, as if to say she doesn't want to judge. Then, she gets up and pours some hot water into a cup. "It's tea. Take it, you'll get better."
"Thank you." Ashi slowly sips her bitter drink. The effect is pleasant and instantaneous. "So good!" "You are too kind."
Ashi puts the cup on her knees. She can see her reflection on the surface of the tea. She bites her lip. "May I ask…" whispers, with a tremor in her voice. "May I ask you how…how did you overcome it?"
The woman raises her eyebrow, looking at Ashi as though she has asked a very silly question. "I've never overcame my son's death. When he died it was like if someone had ripped my heart out. He was a kind boy, he didn't deserve…" She interrupts herself with a silent sigh, making a smile devoid of happiness. "He was my heart. And I will never be able to overcome his death because he will never come back to me."
"So…that's it? There is nothing to do about?" Ashi closes her eyes. "We'll have to suffer this way for the rest of our life?"
The old woman shakes her head. "It depends. I think there is always hope for a heartbroken mother."
"But how?" Ashi insists.
"Every person is different, every woman has her personal way to overcome the pain. Someone can rely upon her own strength; someone else takes comfort in her faith, or maybe inside her own family…"
Ashi thinks about Jack, about all the things he did for her in the last months.
"But I'm all alone in the world. I'm poor and ignorant. What makes me stronger is a simple thought: if the gods have left me back, maybe it's because my 'mother's role' is not over yet."
"…mother's role?" Ashi blinks in confusion. "What does this means?"
"Who knows? Life is a mystery. Sometimes, what we believed to be dead can return under another form. You know what they say: everything is possible."
Ashi nods, still thinking about Jack. She thinks about her mother, who trained her to kill him. No one could have imagined she would instead fall in love with him and then marry him. She giggles.
"Yeah…that's true."
But her smile has short life. Because it doesn't matter how hard she tries, she just can't think of some way to have her child back or to overcome this absence; the hole inside her is too big to think she can fill it. With a lump in her heart she puts the cup to her lips, finishing the tea.
It's cold now.
When Ashi goes out to the house, the first thing she sees is a light rain; clouds are going away, showing her some stars and a silver thin moon. She closes her eyes and breathes the wet air of the night.
But she has just the time to make a step ahead before a bunch of people surround her. The survivors encircle her completely, starting to thank. Someone shakes her hands and someone else insists on offering her a bag full of rice. A girl who is a few years younger than Ashi hugs her and bursts into tears.
"It's nothing…" Ashi mumbles, suddenly embarrassed. Then she looks at the crowd. "Don't worry. I'm going to say to the Emperor what's happened here. We'll help you, I promise!"
People look at each other in confusion. " You know the Emperor?!" someone asks. "I doubt he cares something, we are just poor people of a little village.", another one says.
"Trust me, I'm not going to abandon you." Ashi looks at the old woman who took of her. "Thank you for the clothes. I'll give you them back soon."
"May the gods protect you, my dear."
A man gives her the bridles of the horse. She grabs them, but doesn't rise up yet.
A hand has just caught hers and shows no signs of wanting to let it go.
A soft, trembling, very little hand.
Jack looks out the window again, observing the stars in the clean sky. His heart feels as heavy as a lead boulder; he can't just stay sitting down anymore. He grits his teeth and gets up. "I'm going to look for her."
The Emperor and Empress raise their eyes towards him. His mother nods. "Maybe you should, my son. That was a really terrible storm…" then she bites her mouth, thoughtful. "But remember she cares about herself. And maybe she wants to stay alone another…"
"I will apologize to her, but I need to know she is alright."
"Son…"
"I'm not going back without her!" Jack proclaims, marching to the door.
But he has no time to open it that a young male servant peeps into the room. He instantly blushes. "My apologies your majesty…" the servant kneels to the ground, avoid eye contact and making a deep blow. "I'm here to inform you that the princess has just returned." He makes a short pause. "But is-"
"Is back?!" Jack asks, smiling in happiness and relief. Behind him, the Emperor and his wife close their eyes, grateful Ashi is alright.
"When?". The servant tightens his lips, "Right now, prince. However…"
"Is she injured?". He shakes his head, "Oh no, my prince, the princess appears fine. But…"
"Where is she now?" He silently sighs, "…actually, my prince…they ar-"
"Will you talk to her?"
Jack turns around with a confused look. "I beg your pardon?". The Emperor looks at him. "Talk to her, I said. About our conversation."
"There is nothing I have to tell her."
"I'm afraid you are wrong, my son. I think it's her right to have an opinion about."
"She is my wife!" Jack exclaims. "My duty is to protect her."
"Your duty is to take care about your people. Even when is hard, even if you have done so much already, you don't have to forget your role. You are the future Emperor of this land."
"I could never forget, father. But I am an husband, as well."
Jack bows to the ground, lowering his head until to touch the floor with his forehead. His mind is full only of her. Her face, her laugh…the moment he told her about their child's death. "I will find another solution. I swear it on my own honor. But I will never do or say something that could hurt my wife again." Jack closes his eyes and stops breathing. "My deepest apologizes, father. Forgive me."
His father and his mother look at each other. She covers her mouth and her eyes grow full of tears.
The Emperor silently sighs.
"Go to your wife now, my son. We shall talk this matter over at another time."
Jack gets up and bows to his parents another time.
"Thank you so much, father." He turns toward the servant. "Where is she?"
"The princess is waiting for you at the entrance of the palace. But prince, she is not al-"
Jack hasn't heard the last part, or maybe he doesn't care. He opens wide the door and walks fast through the hallway. He goes down the stairs and go faster.
There is just one last door and he will see her. Embrace her, kiss her.
"Ashi-!"
Jack freezes. His smile gives way to a look of confusion. Confusion not so much because of the male clothes she's wearing, not so much because she is wet by head on foot. But because she's not alone.
Jack looks down, then looks up at Ashi. Then looks down again. He tries to say something, but his voice is like glue into his throat.
A lot of eyes looks him back. There are five of them. Five little children.
Three of them are encircling Ashi's legs; the oldest is grabbing her hand; the youngest is sleeping with his tiny head on her shoulder.
Jack blinks, not knowing what to think or what to say or where to make his eyes stop. But when he looks at Ashi another time, he can feels his heart melts like warm butter. Because Ashi is showing him now the same smile he saw a summer day away, at the market, with a child named Masako. He was beginning to believe that he would never see that smile again.
And Ashi, meantime, is feeling suddenly embarrassed for the situation. One of the children grabs her clothes with a moan of fear and she gently caresses her head.
"Umm," she bites her lip, having no idea where to start explaining.
"...surprise?!"
.:.
...
A.N.:
That's that. My first Samurai Jack oneshot.
I wanted so much to publish this fanfiction for Jashi Week: Morbid Monday. I suppose it's too late now T_T . Actually, there is a reason for my tardiness. I finished writing a few weeks ago, but this is the first time I write something in English (I'm from Italy), so of course I needed to make sure that there were no spelling or grammatical errors. That's why I must thank Traitor of All Traitors for the amazing help! Thank you so much for being my beta reader :)
I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you so much for reading.