He knew something was off, he just couldn't tell what. She wasn't quite focused on work or whatever conversation drifted her way. After a while, even Annalise noticed. "Miss Castillo, not interesting enough for you today?" She looked up, jarred back from wherever her mind had wandered. "Sorry, no. I'm here, won't happen again." Everyone glanced around warily. Frank didn't pay them too much attention though, his own thoughts speculating on the reason for Laurel's strange behavior. Was it him? Was she upset about the abrupt way they had ended their conversation a few nights ago? He hadn't talked to her since then and he was sure she had noticed him keeping his distance at the office, not to mention he hadn't been returning her phone calls. He thought back to that night. There had been a moment between then, a brief glimmer of hope, only to be brought back to reality by one crushing realization. He couldn't tell her the truth, he just couldn't. It was one thing for her to hate him for being typical Frank, player, giving no girl too much of his precious attention. It was something else for her to look at him, fear in her eyes. Or would it be shame? Disgust? He didn't know, he just knew that it would ruin them. Her. Frank remembered what he had told her. The ultimatum. "If you're interested in me, then get to know me." He hadn't expected her to take him up on that, if he was being honest with himself. She didn't want to know the real him, Frank, the killer. No one would.
Annalise cleared her throat, bringing him back to reality. "You and Ms. Castillo must have caught the same thing, huh Frank?" She looked at him with that all too familiar look in her eyes. I've warned you. Stop screwing the students. For a brief second Laurel's gaze met his own, but she looked away quickly. "Sorry, Annalise. I'm listening." But really he couldn't get his mind off the dark-haired girl in front of him. What was she thinking?
That night thoughts of Laurel continued to plague his mind long after he left the office. Out of sight, out of mind he had hoped, but no such luck. He downed another gulp of his scotch telling himself, LET. IT. GO. FRANK.
The next day was no better. In fact, it was worse. He walked into the office same as any other day, when he noticed something missing. Laurel wasn't there. He wandered over towards Bonnie and spoke, careful to keep a casual, uninterested tone. "Where's princess?" She laughed loudly. "What you can't keep tabs on your own girlfriend? You two are ridiculous." He glared at her, taken aback."Laurel and I had some girl bonding the other night and I've got to say, I gave the girl shit in the beginning, but she's grown on me. I approve. Somehow you've managed to get her to fall for you. Hard." Frank kept his expression blank and walked away. Bonnie didn't know what she was talking about. Laurel? Falling for him? He has been joking before when he mentioned it to her. Or was he? He cursed himself under his breath. He didn't even know anymore.
Thankfully his inner monologue was interrupted again by Annalise entering the room with a new case for the team: a teenage girl on trial for killing her best friend. She began assigning the group tasks to build their defense when Annalise noticed Laurel's absence as well. Connor spoke up, "Laurel texted me after class and said she wasn't feeling well." Annalise looked less than convinced. "Alright, let's just get to work I'll deal with Ms. Castillo later." After that, Frank busied himself with the mindless tasks assigned by Annalise made that much more daunting by Laurel's absence. As he left the office that night, curiosity got the best of him and he found himself on her doorstep, not even bothering to go home first.
He knocked until he could hear her soft footsteps moving towards the door. "Hey-" He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because the sight before him put him at a loss for words. She had obviously been crying, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and the look on her face was something between unwelcoming and just broken. "Um...We missed you at work today," he continued. "What do you want, Frank?" The was a sharpness in her voice that usually wasn't there. Not for him at least. Not before. "We hadn't really talked since the other night and then Hair Gel said you were sick so I was just checking on you to see if you were okay or...I don't know." It all spilled out faster and more jumbled than he meant it to, but she seemed to have that effect on him sometimes. He thought for a second he saw her steely gaze soften, but when she opened her mouth it seemed otherwise. "Didn't seem to want to talk the past few days. I called." "Laurel-" he began. "No. This has always been just a game to you. I hurt Kan, cheated on him again and again. For what? For me to finally admit that I was interested in you, that I had feelings for you just so you could change your mind again?" He didn't quite know how to respond. Should he confess? Tell her everything, that he had feelings for her too? Hell, that he might even be in love with her? Girls didn't do this to him. He was in way over his head here, so naturally, he panicked. He stared at her with unapologetic eyes. "Sorry." Damnit, Frank. He thought to himself. That was not what you were supposed to say. "I can't do this anymore. I've got too many other things to deal with than to put up with you and your games, Frank." She gave him one last look that one might have confused as hope, that maybe he'd say something to fix it, then sighed and slammed the door in his face.
He drove home in silence, his knuckles white from his tight grip on the steering wheel. He was angry at her, at himself for how things went down. Sure he was an ass, willing to break her heart to protect himself, but it was all to protect her too. Right? As he thought about it, he worked himself up into a frenzy. What right did she have to blame this all on me? They had both lied, made mistakes. Hell, he had her back all through the investigation into Sam's death. That was it. She wanted to find out what he as like, wanted to get to know him. he would show her. He dialed her number before he could convince himself otherwise. Over the phone he was safe from those eyes of hers that could make him melt. He could really dig in and do what he had to to give himself some sense of sanity. He knew she couldn't answer so he left a message.
Morning came quickly for Frank. Too quickly. After the conversation with Laurel and heated voicemail message, he had drunk himself into a stupor, so much so that he could barely remember anything after that initial conversation with her. He opened his eyes with a groan and rolled over to check his phone. No response. That was a good sign, he thought. Maybe he could finally get past this, and her. Back to the old Frank that didn't let anything get under his skin. He knew it was possible only if she hated him. If she continued to pursue him, he knew his facade would break because he had a weak spot for her. Now, that didn't seem like it would be a problem. He got up to get ready for work, hoping this day would be the first of a new chapter in his life. Post-Laurel.
His world came screeching to a halt as soon as he walked into the living room at Annalise's, as soon as he saw her face. She looked worse that she had last night. Not only were her crying eyes obvious, it looked a if at any moment, at the slighted touch, she would fall apart. That couldn't be his fault, right? Laurel's broken state didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the office either, everyone treading carefully around her. Around lunchtime, he noticed her sitting on the porch with her head in her hands. Wes was sitting nearby rubbing comforting circles on her back. What surprised him most though was Bonnie. She was saying something to her, but he couldn't quite make it out and it was driving him insane. He felt that anger, the irrational one that had reared its ugly head the previous night, bubbling back to the surface. He couldn't help but speculate. She was telling them all about his message last night. Making him seem like the bad guy, out to hurt poor little Laurel. Being that whiny little Brown girl he knew she was deep down that would cry over even non-boyfriends at work. As Bonnie and Wes reached the door, Frank busied himself, looking uninterested. "Princes feeding you some sob story about mean old Frank?" he said loud enough for them to hear. Wes glared at him. "No, her dad died, but she did mention the icing on the cake, asshole." Everyone in the room, including Annalise turned at that. Wes hardly ever spoke out like that. Even Bonnie gave him a look. "Really, Frank?" Annalise had slipped quietly past him and was speaking to Laurel outside. When she returned, she said " is going to take the rest of the day off and you all will get back to work. Can someone drive her home?" It was like an instinct reaction as he opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off quickly. "Not you, Frank." Connor brushed past him muttering under his breath. "I think you've done enough."
Shit. Shit. Shit. She was never going to forgive him. He thought back to the night before. She had even said there was something else on her mind besides him. He was "the icing on the cake" as Wes had so bluntly put it. Hypocrite. The word burned into his mind. He thought he knew her from all his snooping and his stereotype of the types of rich girls that made their way through Annalise's classes, but it seemed he was wrong. Again.
"Once again the hypocrite returns. Me? Playing games? No, that's you princess. You think i would cave after one half-assed attempt at a "get to know you" conversation? You don't want to know me, you just missed the sex. Just like i told you that night, mind blowing-sex that those prep school boys couldn't give you. So the joke's on you, honey. Cry over this mess you started just like the scared little girl you are. I couldn't care semester's almost over anyways, gotta start keeping an eye out for Frank's new girl. The old one's getting a little played out."
The memory of the message he had left her came flooding back. It was useless at this point. He had no hope of her ever forgiving him. It was at that moment that Frank knew that this girl wasn't one he was going to be able to quit. At least not like this. Usually once he knew a girl hated him, Frank could just forget about her. After all, if one girl wanted nothing to do with him, then it left him free and clear to do it all over again with some other student without the fear that they would run into each other. This time he knew it was different. He knew Laurel hated him, but all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay. Not for himself (well maybe a little because who was he kidding), but for her.
"I'm so sorry, Laurel. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?"
Anything. That word. As she read it, it flashed her back to that night in the woods when Frank called her over and over again. Once she had finally answered he swore to her. Anything. I'll do anything. This seemed different though. That night he had been desperate for forgiveness, desperate to win her back. Anything you need. He was letting this be about her for once. She knew deep down that she wasn't quite ready to give him up, but she wasn't ready to let it all go either. Whatever it was, she needed him. She could chalk it up to her grief talking, but either way she couldn't be alone and all she could think about was feeling him next to her, arms around her. Comfort. That was it. She needed it this time.
Frank had just about given up at this point, his text message unanswered. It had been almost an hour and all he could think about was her. Is she okay? Is someone there for her? As a last resort he had called Wes. When he picked up he seemed startled by the fact that is was Frank's voice on the line. "Hey...um sorry about earlier. I was out of line." Frank laughed. "No, you were fine. I was actually calling because I was so far out of line that I fucked up something really good. I just want to make sure she has someone, you know. That she's not going through this alone..even if it's not me." Wes had of course agreed to call and check in on her, but it didn't stop his mind from worrying about her. He heard his phone chirp from the counter and he walked over slowly.
"Can you come over?
Frank took less than a second to process what he read before he grabbed his jacket and ran out the door. Normally it took him about fifteen minutes to reach her apartment, but with the way he was driving it took him less than ten. It wasn't until he reached her door that he realized he had no idea what he was going to do or say. She needed him there so he was there in whatever capacity she would let him be. By the time she answered the door he had already gone over the scenario in his head. Alright, Frank. You're here for her. Whatever she needs. Let her yell at you if it'll distract her from her dad. It's all on her terms.
She looked about the same as earlier, obviously upset, but tired. She had a manner of composure she had lacked back at Annalise's, almost as if she had no more energy for the situation. "Hi." She turned and walked back towards the living room and dropped back on the couch. He hesitated for a second then followed her inside, closing the door behind him. He took a seat in an armchair across from her, not wanted to spook her by sitting too close. "How are you doing?" She looked at him blankly, as if she was looking right through him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry."
He wasn't expecting that. "Come again?"
"I'm sorry. You know, about last night."
"You're sorry?" he scoffed. "Laurel, I'm so fucking sorry about that message. You know I didn't mean any of that. Not just for the horrible timing either, but for all of it. I just haven't wanted to try and make things work with a girl in a long time and I was just scared. No one's ever actually wanted to know me beyond the office or the sex." She gave him the best smile she could muster in her state."Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"First off," she began slowly, cautiously, "the other night didn't go exactly as I planned. I didn't mean to spook you. I just wanted to show you that I had changed my mind. That I didn't want things to be over between us and that I was, well am, interested..." That wasn't exactly what he had in mind, but it was progress nonetheless. He had been asking about her father and how she was dealing with it and her family, but she didn't seem ready to dive into that yet so she continued, "then you stopped speaking to me all together and avoided me at the office. I didn't know what I had done. I didn't expect you to spill all your deep, dark secrets right there, but I just wanted you to know that you could. That I wouldn't run." Frank looked up from the floor to meet her eyes and reached out his hand to hers."Thank you for...all of that. I'm just scared of what you'll think of me when I tell you all the things I've done. It's one thing if you hate me for being an ass, but this is different."
Laurel didn't respond. She just stared out into space like she was carefully considering her next move. It was only then when the lights from the outside the window flashed across her eyes that he noticed she was crying again. "We don't have to talk about this now, you know. I'm here...for everything."
By that point, Frank had ventured closer to her, now perched carefully on the arm of the couch next to her. "Laurel?" She had started shaking, her arms wrapped around herself. Screw it, he thought, and slid down next her her on the couch and put his arms around her. "Talk to me. It'll help, I promise." He felt her nodding softly against his chest. She sat back nervously."I hadn't exactly been on speaking terms with them, since Christmas, I guess, but even before. I went home over the break right after the...incident….and I just snapped. My dad ended up telling me that I was an embarrassment to him and my mother at the table, in front of my whole family and telling me to get out of his house. Since then my brother has been calling non stop, apologizing for them, but it didn't really matter."
Frank remembered his conversation with Annalise that night well. He almost lost it thinking that Laurel had killed Rebecca. "You don't grow up normal with a father like that. You end up messed up." This hadn't been what he meant perse, but it was part of it. He knew the types of families. Unloving, distracted parents. She deserved better. "My brother had called me again that day, before work. You know, when Annalise called me out for not paying attention? Apparently my father had had a heart attack and he was telling me to come home. Honestly, I had no intention of going. He called me again the next day, the morning before you showed up and told me that he died. That along with my frustration with you, the one person I actually wanted to see, to talk to, ignoring me kind of exploded when you showed up that night. So again, I'm sorry."
He held her the whole time, listened to her tell him more about herself than she had ever before, but he had to stop her there. "Laurel, stop. It's not your fault. It's mine and bad timing, anything but yours. I'm going to call it a incredible lapse of judgment on my part and say that I'm going to be here from now on. Always. You might have to give me time, but we'll get to know each other. All of each other, I want that. I really do, okay?"
"Okay."
They sat like that for a while, him holding her as her sobs subsided. He leaned them back against the couch and began to doze off until he felt her shift on top of him. He looked down to find her fast asleep, peaceful for the first time in days, so he slid out from beneath her and gently scooped her up and carried her to her bedroom. He pulled a blanket up over her and bent down to kiss her on the forehead when he paused. He hadn't meant for it to take something like Laurel's father dying for him to step up and be the guy that she needed, but he was glad he was there when it happened. Something between them had clearly changed that night, and he found himself more content than he could remember ever being just looked down at her, relaxed, knowing that he had helped give her that in some way. He kissed her goodbye and turned tohen he heard her stir. "Frank?" He sat back down next her her. "Hey yeah. I'm here. You okay?" She nodded as she spoke, "I will be. Can you stay, please?"
Of course he had stayed, which was how he found himself waking up, sunlight streaming through the blinds, to Laurel's arms wrapped around him, head on his chest. As he looked down at her, he noticed she was already awake. "Morning," he said sleepily. "You feeling okay today?"
She looked up at him and smiled, "Better."
"You know, Annalise gave you the day off today. I can go pick you up something to eat or some coffee so you can get some food in your system?" She shook her head. "You go to work, I'll be fine by myself today. I'm gonna try and get some school work done from home and work myself up to calling my mom later. You could…" She paused. "You could stop by later if you want?" She meant it to sound nonchalant, but it came out nervously, like a question. In her head she couldn't help but think about the previous night. Was he just here because he felt bad about her father? To distract her until she was feeling better then they would revert back to the way they had been before? He knew where her mind was going the as soon as he heard her nervous pause. "Absolutely, Laurel. I'll see you this evening then. I'll bring dinner. And you know you can reach me any time today if you need anything..or just to talk."
So Frank left and went to work feeling different than he ever had. He knew this was the beginning of something for them, they would just have to work with each other. He realized that one day he might have to tell her about Lila, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Hell, she had originally thought he was a hit man anyways. Was it possible that she would accept him if she found that out to be true after all? He would only hope. The day went by slowly, but now and then he'd get a text from Laurel and it would give him something to look forward to. Someone to go home to.
"Thank you."
Laurel laid in her bed thinking about her life before Frank, her family, school, Kan. She was a different person then. Maybe it was the incident with Sam that changed her, made her stronger, and maybe it was in her all along. It just took Frank of all people to pull it out of her. She was in over her head now. She didn't know what the future would hold for them or Annalise or even if she'd end up in jail after all, but she did know that she had Frank, for whatever it was worth.