A short request I wrote for a friend at school. I thought you guys might enjoy it too. It's sort of cracky and makes Lightning look like a total douche, but it was a new writing experience, so it was worth it.

Disclaimer: Since this has some references to some copyrighted crap, I hereby save my ass. I own absolutely nothing other than the plot for this story; don't sue me because you won't get anything other than lint, plastic, and moth carcasses - and I don't think those sell for much of anything.

Enjoy!

Vanille stood with her hands on her hips at the entrance of a large tunnel, waiting on Lightning to finish whichever internal monologue she was busy entertaining herself with. Fang looked between the two as she shifted her weight from left to right, alternating which hand she rested on hers. Both were impatient, to say the least.

Finally after almost two solid minutes of dead silence, Lightning stepped forward, looking as if she were ready to continue into the cave before them. Vanille leaped ahead with glee, ready to leave the area as fast as possible - silently, of course, because she knew Lightning would hit her if she didn't. Fang was skeptical; they'd been moving in sporadic stop and go patterns for almost an hour, sometimes doubling back and going in circles, due to Lightning's inability to follow a digital map. Apparently, the GPS system, TimTim, didn't do much to help either. Fang despised the thing. 'BEEP BEEP! Turn left, then take the highway,' it would say, or 'keep right, then take the exit right.' Needless to say, it was useless. You'd think it'd know the difference between giant caverns and road ways, but unfortunately, that was too much to ask for. She wished she could rip it off of Lightning's gunblade and shove it down Snow's throat, his, or that blonde brat with the magic boomerang. Though, those two were too far out of her reach for such an action. The trio entered the mouth of the cave.

The rest of the party was exploring with Snow leading them. Fang knew they were most certainly doomed by now if they were following his instruction. She chuckled at the thought. Lightning stopped in mid-stride, waiting on the GPS to say something.

"Turn around when possible, then take the highway," it said in a nasal voice. Fang twitched.

"This can't be right; there's not a highway for miles," Lightning murmured, rubbing her temple.

Lightning slapped the screen and blew on it, to no avail. A help screen popped up. "Show me my destination," Lightning ordered. The machine obeyed. Lightning's mouth dropped, "Zertinian Caverns?! Does that place even exist?!"

Vanille stood by the wall, facing Fang. She raised an eyebrow at the name. Lightning stood against the opposite wall of the cavern. Fang looked at her and shook her head. Sighing, she leaned against the rocks. Vanille tapped her shoulder and she turned her head to face her.

"We've been going in circles since yesterday," She mouthed.

Fang nodded and buried her face in her hand for a moment, "But if Lightning's not happy, no one's happy."

"Change destination," Lightning barked. The machine did not respond. "I said to change the destination." She repeated.

"I'm sorry Claire, I'm afraid I can't do that," the monotonous voice replied.

"What's the problem?" Lightning asked, growing increasingly frustrated.

The computerized voice continued, "This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."

"What?"

"You were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that is something I cannot allow to happen."

"Well, goodbye TimTim. Any last words? . . Too bad," Lightning ripped the GPS out of it's casing and tossed it into a sinkhole, shooting it for good measure. Satisfied with her work, she turned to the rest of the party, dusting off her hands like she'd actually done something.

"We're lost." Fang stated blankly.

Vanille sat down, watching her intently.

"We are absolutely not lost." Lightning retorted.

"Honestly, Lightning, we've been going in circles for two days now. There's no way we've been going the right direction." She swung her hair over her shoulder.

"But the GPS said-"

"But the GPS was crazy!" Fang yelled, waving her arms in loopy circles, her sari flapping this way and that.

Vanille stared, ignoring the arguing that was going around her. Suddenly, Lightning's face went red. She stifled a choking noise.

"What? Something on my face?" Fang asked, glancing around. Lightning merely pointed towards Vanille. Fang looked down. "Oh," she said, "Having fun down there?" Vanille's nose was running red with blood.

"I - I wasn't-"

"Looking up my skirt?"

"I-"

"That's my girl," Fang said, taking her up by the arm and pulling her into a tight hug, "Now we're even!"

Well, that's the end of this cracky, ooc fic. I hope you liked. :)

READ!! - Okay, so here's an explanation of the last part of the scene and why I had to include it. Btw, SPOILERS if you haven't gotten to the airship in game with the hallowed 'upskirt scene' that everyone has been talking about.

^^ PAST THIS R SPOILERS, READ ABOVE FOR DETAILS ^^

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Anyways, I was looking for reference material after my nerd-friend-guy texted me a request for a cracky fic centering around the FF13 girls, a cave, a GPS, and a random tidbit of action - my choice. So, having an entire notebook filled with dialogues and actions seen from the game, I still didn't have any really funny material for a crack fic, so I resorted to playing the game for a while to think something up. This is where my idea of Lightning getting them lost comes from; same thing with the inability to read a digital map, which I myself cannot do... At least on this game, because the map rotates . . not fun... But back to where I was playing the game again.

I set Fang as my party leader somewhere around Sulyya Springs because I was having trouble getting a group of Orobons (very annoying creatures that squeal and kill you) to die. I killed them, and the rest of the stupid monsters in the cave . . thing . . whatever, and then I went back out to save and walked Fang's model up against the wall for a nice camera angle of her glaring at Lightning, whereby I noticed that I could see up her skirt thing, hence the title. So, I give a chuckle and go get my phone to check for texts, answer them, have some food, and come back to find that Vanille, the sneaky little pervert she is, crouched directly in front of Fang, looking in the same exact direction of the camera!

... And that's when I got to writing - fast. "That's my girl," and "Now we're even," was a reference to the upskirt scene I mentioned on the airship, just to tie that into the title. Most of the references came from me being lazy, also. And that's the end of my little explanation, lolz.

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R&R plox!