Just Another Day In July
~A Valentine Writing Challenge~
"You're like the Yoda of superheroes. Getting you on the phone was harder than getting into college."
She wasn't joking. She was being upset. She was feeling cranky. She was not exactly angry. She hated her life and her life hated her back. And yep, she knew he had done nothing wrong. She just needed to yell. Once again she was the little girl who'd dropped her caramel apple while riding the Ferris Wheel. Once again she was the little girl who'd so desperately wanted to take a monstrous bite of the cotton candy in her sister's hand. She always got what she wanted. She never got what she really wanted. Her life was all tangled up. Every day she woke up finding a new way to mess things up. She fiercely blinked and swallowed back the burning tears. She was this close to falling apart and breaking down. She was this close to saying something she would regret for the rest of her life. She was never strong. She had always been a coward. Right now, at this very moment, she couldn't stop resenting herself. What's so wrong with you, Stephanie Plum?
"Say something." She demanded. I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else. His silence was killing her. With a shaky hand she covered her mouth. The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back. But what's love but a second hand emotion? Everything is vanity under the sun. "Cat got your tongue?"
She burst into tears. The silence dragged on. The wedding date was set, and she had no escape. She had been forced to quit her job and tomorrow she would have to move out of her apartment. She was carrying Morelli's child.
It had been a mistake.
She was going to spend the rest of her life in regrets.
And yet she had no courage to speak up for herself.
She was a mother now.
Whether she liked it or not.
The guilt.
The pain.
The scorching hopelessness.
The icy frustration.
And all she got was Ranger's voicemail.
He'd been in the wind for quite a while and she'd started doubting if he would ever come back.
She was going to get married on Halloween. She would be surrounded by the scents of apples and cinnamon. She would be kept captive in the Land of Beautiful Bubbles. Her smile would be sweet and soft. Her lies would be colorful. So colorful that she would want to die. So colorful that she would slowly die inside. And nobody would know. She had no one to tell.
"Please." She whispered into the phone.
Still there was no answer.
Despair swallowed her.