Title: Twenty Pounds of Crazy

Author: Morgan a.k.a. scgirl_317

Genre: Romance

Summary: "Didn't you once call her 'twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag'?" "Yeah, but she's my twenty pounds of crazy."

Spoilers: 1.6 "The Stork Job", 1.9 "The Snow Job", 2.9, "The Lost Heir Job", 2.11 "The Bottle Job"

Author's Note: I got the idea for an exchange between Eliot and Hardison, but it morphed into Eliot and Tara instead. Either way, it wouldn't leave me alone. Combine that with having "Whiskey in Mind" by Christian Kane stuck in my head for three days solid, and that makes for plenty of inspiration for this ficlet. (Look up "Eliot/Parker - Whiskey in Mind" on YouTube if you don't get that last bit.)


He was well aware of when it started, even if no one else was. The first glimmer was during the job with the arms dealers fronting as an orphanage. Hardison had told him that she had grown up in the system. When they learned that there were more children than just Luca at risk, she had been relentless in getting them out. If they had not returned to the warehouse when they had, he doubted things would have ended as well. Once all was said and done, though, he admired her determination.

The glimmer grew when she jumped out of Retzing's window. She had scared him at first, but after the initial anger had worn off, he could not stop thinking about how glad he was that he had been there to catch her. The fact that she had probably jumped out of higher windows with no support of any kind was no comfort.

He could count several more instances over which the spark grew to a flame, all of which led to where they were now, currently sitting with the team in Nathan's loft.


Another case was closed, and they all sat around basking in the satisfaction that one more injustice had been righted. Nathan, Eliot, and Hardison were enjoying the game that was splayed over the six screens hung on the wall. Tara sat off to the side reading a magazine, easily tuning them out. Parker was sitting with the guys, fascinated by the game. She had never watched a football game until joining Nathan's team, and she was still puzzled by several aspects, even though Eliot had done his best to explain it.

Tara glanced up from her magazine to see that while the commercials were on, Parker was curled up against Eliot's side. Tara was well aware, though, that the minute the game came back on, she would give it as much attention as she did job briefings, and would continue to do so until she had made sense of it.

Eliot and Parker. Now that was an odd combination. The hitter and thief could not be more different in Tara's mind. Parker was insane, and there was no other word for it. Why else would she be so eager to jump off of rooftops and down elevator shafts and stairwells? Not to mention her numerous social quirks. Sophie had told her as much, but all the descriptions in the world could not prepare one for Parker. Even so, there was a gentleness to her. Eliot, on the other hand, was rough. "Wild and wooly", some would say. And until she had tasted his cooking, Tara had firmly believed that there was nothing delicate about the hitter. That opinion was slowly changing as she spent more time with the team. Little things would betray an underlying tenderness that no one would ever guess was there. Things like the care he took when cooking, the way he absently brushed a stray hair off of Parker's face as she sat next to him, the obvious concern he had over Nathan's resurrected alcoholism.

Shaking her head, Tara stood and walked over to the kitchen to get a drink. Water, milk, and what seemed to be an endless supply of that orange soda Hardison consumed like there was no tomorrow. She figured Nathan kept his liquor in the bar downstairs; it was the only place where the others would not find it, even though they all knew he was drinking again.

Suddenly, an arm reached into the fridge in front of her. Another thing about Eliot, he could move silently when he wanted to.

"Geeze, Spencer! Warn a girl, will you?"

Eliot simply gave her that smile, the one that gave her the creeps because it always meant he was up to something.

"Just when I think I'm getting used to you guys," she muttered, shaking her head as she took a drink of water.

A yell from the sitting area drew their attention. One of the teams had scored, and Parker was making an attempt to get into the game. Hardison was now explaining that the team they were cheering for had just been scored against. Eliot couldn't help but smile at that.

"You two are the most bizarre couple I have ever seen," Tara commented, noting the look on Eliot's face.

Eliot simply shrugged, but his eyes said it all. Tara noted yet another thing about Eliot: those piercing blue eyes always told the truth, no matter what he said. Right now, they were saying how much he loved the petite blonde.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Hardison told me you once called her 'twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag'?"

"Yeah, I did," Eliot replied, finally speaking. "But she's my twenty pounds of crazy."

With that, Eliot returned to his previous place on the couch.

There wasn't much Tara could say to that.