Leonard makes sure everything is perfect in front of him—the tickets to Penny's favorite band for the day after, dinner at her favorite restaurant, and a lovely after-dinner show at the planetarium (Valentine's Day may be all about the girl, but he had to get something in there—a little astronomy never hurt anyone). The tickets for everything are stapled neatly on his desk, along with the receipts for the transactions (including the flowers, card, and obligatory stuffed bear). The flowers were especially nice—roses were too cliché, he thinks, so when he'd gone to the florist's shop, he'd picked out his own sprays of daisies and baby's breath, hand-selecting each one.
The singular purple tulip with white streaks had been the center piece. It hadn't exactly wanted to come out of the vase holding other tulips, but once he'd gotten a hold of it, there it was; beautiful amongst the daises and garnishes.
This year would be different. He went to a lot of trouble this year to make sure it wasn't quite as romantic as last year (okay, so he still got flowers and a bear and a card, but it's Valentine's Day), and last year was horrible, what with Penny's ex getting engaged at the restaurant, and Howard and Bernadette sniping like WWIII…
This time would be different; it was just the two of them. Leonard grins; he knows he can make this work, because he loves Penny. And in the end, loving is what really counts.
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By the time she gets all of her gifts, Leonard's really confused. She's wearing that too-fake smile, her voice is trying too hard for forced casual. She doesn't seem ungrateful, or even particularly upset. But there's still something undeniably wrong with her reaction.
He'd thought there'd be more…hugging, or maybe squealing or something. Instead, she's staring at everything like she's afraid to touch it, like it's something too fragile and wonderful for her to grasp.
Leonard snaps his fingers mentally—this must be one of the best gifts she's ever received, and she's afraid that he's just going to snatch it away, just like Kirk might do, or any one of her undeserving jock-boyfriends.
So instead, he hugs her tightly around the shoulders; she feels stiff and almost like she wants to pull away. But a moment later, she sighs and just leans her head on his shoulder.
"It's too much, Leonard," she says, and her voice sounds like she's been working double-shifts at the Cheesecake Factory all week, and she's wilting under all of the crush of life. "I thought we talked—"
"Nothing's ever enough for you," Leonard interrupts her, because he won't have that sort of talk on a day meant especially for people in love. "Now get dressed; dinner, right?"
Penny stares at the flowers for a long time before she gets to her feet. "Would you put those flowers in a vase? I'd hate for them to turn brown so soon."
Leonard nods obligingly, and can't shake the feeling that he's done something wrong. Still, when she comes out half an hour later, looking as beautiful as ever, he kisses her forehead.
"I love you."
Penny smiles; it's a brittle, almost fragile sort of thing. "Love you too. Let's go to dinner."
He's completely blown away when she asks him to marry her at the planetarium.
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It's Valentine's Day again, and this time, Leonard decides that they could do with the aquarium instead of the planetarium. Penny likes fish; they have a tank of tropical ones in her apartment (he'd read in a few studies that it helps with depression and mood swings, and Penny had seemed less…bright lately). She enjoys taking care of them, and had even named a few them silly things like "Spottles" and "Murk".
So he plans their dinner at their usual restaurant, and makes a full day reservation for the in-depth tour that includes all of the educational bits and pieces about the evolution of fish.
He frowns when she likes petting the dolphins the best, and so he sets on about dolphins being almost smart as humans really, and besides humans and chimps, they're the only ones who have sex for pleasure.
She nods idly throughout the tour, and doesn't touch much of her dinner. She stares at the ring on her finger for a bit as Leonard excitedly chats about an upcoming research project. She seems to be zoning out, so Leonard pulls out his gift for her.
This time, instead of just giving her a brochure to Pasadena City College, he's actually picked up all of the catalogue information for an associate's degree in performance arts (well, it's really just an associate of arts, but the plan can be tweaked), and taken the liberty of filling out her financial aid application.
Penny stares at him for a long minute, flipping through the pages of information. Her face is unreadable, and Leonard just stares at her hopefully. He's encouraging her passion, he's trying his hardest to do what's best for her—he loves her, and all he's ever wanted is for her to have the best.
Penny sighs, and asks when registration is.
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She never does make it big in acting—she does get a job doing set production with the college. It's better money than the Cheesecake Factory, and while the hours are longer, she brightens up again for a while. She freelances out of their apartment to other theatres after she's gotten her associate's, and Leonard barely sees her.
When he does, she looks tired and exhausted, but somehow bright again, and he hugs her at their Valentine's Dinner this year. This time, he has the information planned out for university, and some of that brightness goes away.
But he's excited, because she looks at it again, and blandly asks when registration is.
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It isn't until she has her B.A. in theatre production that Leonard starts to sense a pattern. She's working so much, between still helping out at the city college and offering her services to theatres all within a 20 mile radius, that he realizes he hardly ever sees her. When he does, it's like she wilts underneath his touch as she only talks about what she's managed to get done this past week with the different community groups. She's doing so good, maybe they could just spend Valentines' Day in this year? Watch some Star Trek or something and do nothing?
Leonard frowns. That's never been an ideal Valentines' night for him, and he gently reminds her that it's about both of them; he wants to show off how in love they are.
Penny nods, and rises to take a shower. She agrees to dinner, but please, nothing else. She says thank you in a small voice when he produces tickets to the musical of "The Addams Family", and he smiles, because she did a little bit.
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They spend the next Valentine's Day in the hospital, because Penny passed out at work from exhaustion and dehydration. She hadn't lost weight, necessarily, because Leonard knows she eats—she simply eats a lot on the go, and she's in the hot California sun quite often. She looks pale and small in the sheets, and he hadn't noticed how weak she'd gotten.
"Let's stay in, okay?" he asks, as if there's really an option, and settles beside of her bed. He's concerned when she turns away to sleep.
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The next one is spent with all of their friends. They take in a showing of Orpheus in the Underworld. Howard looks like he'd rather be anywhere else, and is texting Raj most of the time. Sheldon looks predictably bored and unsuited to musicals of any kind (he'd only agreed because Amy promised an amendment in their relationship agreement that she was unhappy about, but she didn't want to miss it), and Amy steadfastly keeps her hands in her lap. Penny watches the musical with an unreadable expression—if anything, she looks as if she's taking more in from the sets and backstage movement than anything else.
Leonard holds her hand throughout the operetta.
They go for a late dinner afterwards, and somehow, it's a little bit like old times, when the girls separated off to Penny's apartment and the boys end up playing video games in Sheldon's apartment, except they're only at Sheldon's apartment, and Bernadette appears to be grilling Penny about something.
Leonard looks at her lovingly, because she really does look beautiful tonight, in her sleek cocktail dress and smoky make-up. He sidles up to her just as Bernadette pauses to take a breath, and is confused by the outright look of death he gets from the petite microbiologist.
Howard tells him later it must've been Bernadette's "time", so to speak, because she'd been grumpy when they got home, and slept in a separate room.
When Leonard gets home from work the next day, he's somewhat surprised to find Penny at home, and completely shit-faced. She hasn't overdone it alcohol-wise in quite some time, and he obligingly holds her hair when she ends up expelling the contents of her empty stomach. He tries to soothe her, but in the end, just sits on the edge of the bed while she cries.
When Valentine's Day rolls around again, they stay in, but Penny is quiet and withdrawn for most of the night, and he ends up picking all of the television shows.
He doesn't realize how long he's been picking them out when he realizes their DVR is nothing but shows he likes.
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It isn't long until Leonard's losing sleep too. He's not fond of puzzles, and takes no small amount of comfort in the certainties of life. He'd known that Penny was the one. He'd known he was going to be a physicist. He'd known, deep down, that once he and Penny got going, there would be nothing to stop them.
But now that they are going, he wonders if he really did what was best for her. They're at a meeting at Cal-Tech now, where Leonard is having a friendly chat with Dr. Gablehauser and Dr. Siebert about upcoming research opportunities and projects. With Leonard now having several prestigious projects behind him (in no small part thanks to the summer he spent researching a Hawking theory), they're definitely interested in talking to him.
If only because rumor has it that Dr. Siebert is thinking about taking a job at CERN in Switzerland. Dr. Gablehauser is, naturally, a candidate for the potentially open position, which means Dr. Gablehauser's position might be open next too.
Penny is making small talk in the corner with Sheldon and Amy. Sheldon looks like he'd rather be listening to someone whistle, and Amy is trying (unsuccessfully) to talk to Penny about more than just the weather or the food.
Leonard gestures her over, because seriously, a little eye-candy for job negotiations never hurt. And when Dr. Siebert asks her if she's bored with all of the smart talk, she laughs lightly and agrees that naturally, this isn't her thing at all.
Leonard doesn't hear the cynicism, but all the same, once they're home, he has trouble sleeping. Penny sleeps heavily beside of him, sprawled over the dark brown sheets he'd picked out for their bed. He wants to wake her up, just to make sure everything's okay with them, but in the end, he doesn't.
She hates talking about things when it's all in his head. It doesn't help him sleep any better.
Leonard buys an OTC sleep medication a week later, just because whenever he lies down with Penny now, he can't stop thinking about why it's only his shows on the DVR, it's mostly touches of him all over their apartment, and why he'd think it was okay to show her off to his bosses to wrangle a promotion. She's always loved her body and loved being looked at; he isn't sure why it suddenly feels like it would bother her.
The sleeping medication helps, but then he only dreams of chilled windstorms. It's a little like the Arctic all over again, and he simply bundles up to Penny, who doesn't cuddle back. He says it's because she's sleeping.
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They finally get married on Valentine's Day the next year. She looks beautiful in all of their photos, smiling brilliantly and happily. Sheldon begrudgingly came, but only because Amy threatened to tell his mother if he didn't—Leonard's Sheldon's best friend, and Mama Cooper wouldn't stand for that sort of disrespect.
Bernadette is caught up in a vaccine study for Ebola, but Howard's there, and the engineer comments that it's probably for the best that Bernadette wasn't there anyway. She's been grouchier than his mother, and they don't need two Mrs. Wolowitz's around.
They go on their honeymoon straight after, just like Leonard had planned, and they go to Switzerland (he forgets that Penny always wanted to go to Hawaii, but even if he'd remembered, isn't California pretty much the same thing?). She spends most of their time in their hotel room by the fire or down in the spa, using the Wi-Fi in the room to e-mail co-workers back in Pasadena about work-related things and whether it's going okay without her.
He asks if she wants to come see the CERN Super-Collider. She points out that she wouldn't really get it anyway. He pouts until she goes, and she doesn't talk much for the rest of the night. He's going through their bag, looking for one of his allergy medications, when he finds a small box of medication, all prescribed to Penny.
Leonard stares at the bathroom where she's taking a shower. When she comes out, she finally shows more emotion than she has in the last 3 years, because he's demanding to know why she needs anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, and prescription-strength sleep medication.
He ends up sleeping alone; he doesn't know where she goes. When he gets up, he finds out that she's gone home.
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It takes all day to get a flight back to the states, and Leonard isn't surprised when the apartment is empty. He conveniently remembers Sheldon can't lie, and figures out that Penny is staying with Bernadette, since Amy is training a new monkey.
Bernadette stares him down for a long moment before she lets him in. Penny is sitting on the couch, red-eyed and sad, and he wonders when this happened. Bernadette blessedly gives them privacy.
They talk for a long time, until Penny's already depressed, raspy voice is nearly gone, and Leonard's throat is sore. But ultimately, they do agree to take a break—just a little one.
He doesn't admit it until he gets home to their apartment that the only reason he'd agreed was because the look of relief on her face at the prospect hurt him too much to say anything else. He can't sleep when he gets home, and feels brutally like it's that one Valentine's Day all over again, and Penny's simply ruining everything.
He has to pop an Advil PM to sleep, and even then, he only dreams in storms. He hates storms.
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Leonard buries himself in his work, and takes on several experiments to avoid going back to their apartment as much (it's really more his than theirs now that he thinks about it), because it just kind of hurts in a stinging, achy way that's more steady than intermittent. Howard and Raj both stop by to check on him, and Leonard grills Howard for anything Bernadette's told him.
He doesn't get much—Howard and Bernadette aren't speaking much because Howard took Leonard's side, and may have used a prostitute-reference when doing so.
Leonard runs his hands through his hair in irritation. Sheldon stops by, but only because Amy made him, and did so by threatening to hold his hand to the absolute maximum that their relationship agreement offered.
It's a perfunctory visit, and it ends with Leonard wanting desperately to punch Sheldon directly in the mouth, because Sheldon never stops, Sheldon never knows when to shut up, Sheldon implies that sometimes, like his Mee-Maw used to say, flowers were more beautiful in the wild than when yanked up at their roots to be transplanted elsewhere.
Leonard says nothing, but breaks a pencil.
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Leonard thinks long and hard once he's at home, after everyone's checked in with him. He loves her, he wants her to be happy, he wants them to be happy.
He isn't sure their happiness is ever going to be together.
It's only because of Penny that he believes in angels, the kind that watch over you and make your life better simply because they're there. It's only because of Penny that he hasn't slept in so long, hasn't been able to dream of anything other than the crushing weight of their stormy relationship.
He just wants her to be happy.
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It's been a month when he finally goes to check on Penny with Bernadette. He'd buried himself a little too well in work, and he did want to give her the space she wanted. But when he gets there, it's only Bernadette, who looks red-nosed and teary-eyed.
It's because of him she moved away. It's because of him that she was so unhappy. It was because of him that she couldn't just tell someone how unhappy she was.
It's because of him that she took a job on the other side of the country to build a new life.
He gets the divorce papers a week later, and isn't sure what to do with them.
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Leonard finds her instead, using Howard's connections with the GPS satellites and Penny's phone. He takes a sabbatical from work, and tracks her down to a tiny town in North Carolina, where she's working at the community theatre again during the days, and waitressing at nights to make ends meet. She looks horrified to see him, and looks a little like she wants to hit him.
She coldly points out that if Bernadette didn't bring her home, what makes him think he would?
Instead, Leonard digs his feet in. He'll get this one by the roots too, because he loves her.
He doesn't count on her being gone the next morning. He goes home, empty-handed, and Howard points out that it was probably one of the dumber things he could've done, if the way Bernadette's refusing to speak to him is any indication. Howard looks worried now too, because Bernadette's really mad.
Leonard grits his teeth, because Penny's ruining so many things.
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Penny comes home on her own; Leonard still hasn't signed the divorce papers. He wonders if she really expected him to sign it, but she sits on the couch blankly, and stares at the typework.
Leonard cautiously sits beside of her, and ignores the way she doesn't seem to move or yield when he takes her hand and tells her they'll make it work, no matter what. She looks at him tiredly, and points out that the only reason she came home was because Bernadette and Howard are fighting badly enough that she was afraid of them ending up like her and Leonard.
Leonard swallows hard. They're happy, aren't they?
Penny smiles, and it's back to that brittle, fragile upturn of the lips that makes Leonard feel a little cold inside. Of course they're happy. Why wouldn't they be?
They love each other, don't they? And that's what counts.
Leonard looks at the flowers on their windowsill, and then back at Penny before he fiercely agrees. He hugs her around the shoulders and kisses her hair before he asks what she wants to do for Valentine's Day this year.
She looks thoughtful for a moment, staring at the blue sky from the windows, before she tells him to plan it—he's better at it anyway.
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Author's Note: I rarely do these anymore, simply because the fic usually speaks for itself. However, I would like to dedicate this fic to the disappointed Leonard/Penny fan who read Prompt 05, and was severely dissatisfied with it. I hope this makes up for it in that it is most definitely a Leonard/Penny fic.