A/N: Let me preface this by saying, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even watch this show. My sister does, and I wrote this for her. So If I get anything wrong or OOC (even for slash), well, now you know the reason why. Read and review, let me know if you like it! (And if you don't, pretend you never read it and go on your merry way. Nothing to see here...)
All rights belong to copyright holders.
Dan sometimes wondered if he spent too little time in the real world. Then he remembered what the real world was like, and returned to his phone.
The apartment was dark, shiny, and full of underage people having more fun than Dan suspected they were legally allowed to have. He normally wouldn't have attended one of his little sister's friend's birthday parties except on pain of death, but their father had had a rare moment of parental vigilance and insisted that Dan chaperon. Dan agreed, but he still apologized to Jenny through her bedroom door after she huffed off.
"I'll stand in the corner with the plants," he promised. "You won't even know I'm there."
It was a special talent of his, the ability to disappear. It was how he gathered so much information for his blog. People simply forgot he was around.
Tonight, wedged in the corner behind five ferns and an ornamental fountain, he was happy enough to forget and be forgotten.
He peered out to check on Jenny. Sitting on a boy's lap, playing a game on another girl's phone, laughing, no alcohol. He caught her eye and shot her a thumbs up. She absently flipped him off and he laughed to himself, ducking back into his plant cover. He scrolled through social media and let the ambient noise of the party rush past him, until the ferns wavered and another boy sidled halfway in.
It was Eric, Serena's brother, wearing jeans, an oversized white button-down, and a hunted expression.
"Can I hide back here with you?" he asked.
"Depends. Who are you hiding from?"
"Everyone at this party."
"Join me." Dan scooted over to make room, and Eric propped himself against the other wall, their shoulders touching where they wedged in the corner.
Eric pulled out his own phone, and Dan studied him a moment by the blue light of the screen. He looked tired, and tight.
"You ok?" Dan asked, trying to keep it light.
"Super."
"Say that with some enthusiasm and I might actually believe you."
"My boyfriend just broke up with me in the kitchen because I don't want to—you know," Eric muttered.
"Sounds like a douche. His loss."
"Thanks."
Eric didn't seem to want to talk, so Dan let it rest and returned to his screen. A girl in a silver bandage dress dumped the remains of her drink in the fountain. Eric sighed. "Damn party."
"You could leave."
"He was my ride. I hate the boroughs."
"Just come back with Jen and me. Might be awhile until she's ready to go, though."
Eric nodded. "Thanks," he said again, and Dan bumped his shoulder in a 'don't mention it way.'
They stood in not-uncomfortable silence, each flicking through the page's of their phones. Every so often Dan would check on Jenny; each time she seemed to be having an approved amount of fun.
Around midnight, Eric started shifting beside him, making irritated noises. He pressed the power button on his phone a few times, and then the light abruptly cut out, dimming their little corner of the party by half.
"Fuck," he said softly, and shoved his phone into his pocket.
"Lost a text?"
"Reading. Battery's dead."
"Doing schoolwork at a party? I don't know whether to be impressed or appalled, E."
"Appalled is probably your best bet with me. Saves time." Eric shoved off the wall and ducked roughly out of the plant screen.
Dan growled and stuffed his phone away, pushing out after Eric. The party hit him like a wall of Manhattan heat out of the subway, with all the force of a subway car itself. Dan gave the room a quick scan, but it was almost impossible to pick out a face in this crowd. He pushed forward. There was no way he was leaving Eric alone in the mood he seemed to be in tonight; besides, he and Jenny were his ride.
Two different Solo cups were aimed at him as he picked and shoved his way towards the beacon of light that was the kitchen, and someone shouted "DUUUUUuuuuuuude!" but he wasn't sure that was meant for him, anyway.
"Brother!" That definitely was. Jenny's heavy eye make-up had run, so that she looked like a white-haired ghoul emerging from the darkness. "I'm done here," she announced cheerfully, latching onto his arm. "Can we go?"
"Not without Eric," Dan said, peering into the rooms they passed.
"Oh, cool, Eric's here? Awesome."
"He's riding back with us," hall closet, no, "just as soon as I find him."
"Try the kitchen. Nick's in there, I think. Nick, his boyfriend?"
"Oh, shit."
Eric and Nick had drawn a crowd in the kitchen. Nick was crowding Eric into the island, saying, "What was that, twink?"
"I said I don't have to give you anything. I don't. I don't owe you anything, either."
"No? Well, then I guess I owe you something." He raised his fist and punched Eric in the face.
Eric reeled back and Dan grabbed his shoulders, steadying him. Jenny shrieked and launched herself at Nick, landing a shin kick before a tall black girl pulled her back.
"Well, well, well, Nicky," she drawled, settling a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Looks like you forgot the Party Rules." She dragged him out of the room, reciting in a bored tone: "No assault, no unprotected sex, no drugs on the furniture, no puking on the rug, no assault-"
Dan turned Eric to face him, putting a hand under his chin and trying to lift his face. "Let me see," he said gently.
A reddish welt was already forming just under Eric's left eye, and Nick's fancy platinum ring had left a nasty slice. Dan fished ice cubes out of an abandoned cup and wrapped them in a paper towel. Eric tried to duck away from his hand.
"Hey now, come on. Needs ice."
"Sorry."
"Shut up and don't apologize, just give me your face."
Eric held himself very still, barely flinching when Dan pressed his makeshift ice pack to the bruise. Jenny scooted across the island on her knees and peered over his shoulder. "Are you ok? I mean, what the hell, E?"
Eric shook his head and started to mumble something, sending ice cubes raining to the floor. The black girl (Natalie?) swung back into the kitchen, dispelling onlookers.
"Do you have a first aid kit?" Dan asked, dumping the rest of the ice in the sink next to him.
"Yep, bathroom, follow me." Natalie cut a path through the party gloom and led them down the hall. She knocked on the door, opened it, and flicked the lights twice. "Yo, lesbitches. Medical emergency, clear the room."
The shower curtain flailed and two girls emerged, rearranging their clothes. They gave Dan and Eric finger waves and ouchie-faces as they passed.
"All yours," Natalie said, and shut the door behind them.
Natalie's first aid kit took up the entire under sink cabinet. Dan tried to balance it on the edge of the sink, failed, and set it in the sink instead. He flipped it open and stared blankly at its contents.
"Um. I don't actually have any idea what I'm doing here," he admitted.
"Let me." Eric stepped in front of him and rummaged through the box.
"Getting in fights is a regular thing for you, is it?" Dan joked. Eric met his eyes in the mirror and his laughter turned to an embarrassed blush. He knew, he knew Eric had a hard time of it at school, but his own experience of being a straight-passing bi was probably a world and a half away from understanding what it meant to be openly gay at St. Jude.
The shower girls had left the window open, and the bathroom was chilly after the overheated kitchen. Standing just in back of him in the small space, Dan could feel Eric trembling as he applied antiseptic to his scrape, his fingers shaking. Eric closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath. Closing the space between them, Dan wrapped an arm around him from behind, waiting to see if his action was ok. Eric met his eyes again, but didn't speak. Dan held him carefully, dipping his head to press a light kiss against his hair. Eric applied a butterfly suture to keep the wound closed, and then slowly repacked the first aid kit. Another kiss to the soft hair just above his ear, and Dan pulled him tighter into the hug.
Someone banged on the door, making them both jump.
"Are you guys OK in there?" Jenny called through the door. "LaTeesha and I are going to Baskin-Robbins, meet us there?"
"Cross at the light and look both ways!" Dan called.
"Go fuck yourself!" she trilled, and slapped the door again.
Eric turned in his arms, but didn't seem to want to step away. "To quote my sister," Dan said, brushing his thumb lightly over the bruise, "what the hell, E?"
"I was standing up for myself."
"Went well, didn't it?"
"Always does," he said, with half a smile. Dan leaned forward and kissed his cheek, pulling back to rest his forehead against Eric's.
"Dan, what are you doing?" Eric whispered.
"I think I'm kissing you."
"Let me know when you decide," he said breathlessly. Dan kissed his mouth very gently and pulled away.
"OK?"
"Yes."
He kissed him again, and Eric closed his eyes, his hands reaching up to grasp the lapels of Dan's blazer. Dan pushed him back until their hips met the edge of the sink, kissing his cheek and jaw and nosing aside his shirt collar to kiss there, too.
The door to the bathroom swung open and the boys jerked apart, almost knocking heads.
"Whoops, sorry." The redhead in the doorway gave them a thumbs-up and ducked back out.
Dan laughed and stepped back, grabbing Eric's hand. "Want to get out of here?"
The sidewalks were half-deserted, Christmas lights twinkling from store windows in their own halos of mist in the cold air. Somewhere beyond the city lights were stars, and on a sidewalk in Brooklyn, Eric was holding his hand as they walked.
Some things made being in the real world worth it after all.