Trying to Catch the Sun
A/N: Takes place sometime around the episode: "Terra"
Purple eyes flashed opened and met the pitch-black room. Her heart drummed in her chest, her cheek was pressed against the coolness of her pillow. Raven shivered and felt the goosebumps that had crawled over her gray skin. Her bedding had toppled onto the floor due to her wild sleeping. The images rapidly faded from her memory but the impression was long lasting. It was only a nightmare.
The rolling sound of thunder rumbled in her chest and shook the floor of her room. A summer storm system was passing through. The rain splashed against her floor to ceiling window and flashes of lightening lit up her room. It was if she had awoken only to live in her irrational fear of thunder storms. Raven stood from her bed and found slippers for her cold feet. Her fluffy black robe obscured any view of her purple pajamas.
Without a second thought, Raven stepped out into the cool hallway lit by dim lights. She walked down the long hallways that twisted about the tower. One person was on her mind for comfort; Starfire. It wasn't always her first decision of turning to her friend after such an experience. But Starfire was the one that would openly welcome her and at the moment she dreaded the thought of being alone.
"Starfire?" Raven lightly knocked on the steel door and awaited an answer. "It's Raven." The empath was greeted with silence. She knocked louder as Starfire was a heavy sleeper as was Beast boy. "Can I come in?"
She pressed her ear against the cold the door. There was no rustling of bed sheets or the soft padding of feet towards the door. With a sigh Raven turned toward the keypad lit by a soft blue back light. She punched in a series of numbers and the door slid open to reveal an empty room. The oval bed was messily made with wrinkles and the pillows disarrayed. The tamaranian must've made her way to Robin's room during the night.
"I'll just need a good book." Raven turned her back on the room and headed towards the Ops room.
It wasn't long until she had a hard cover book in her hand and she drew closer to the steel doors. When all else failed, a mug of steaming tea and reading herself back to sleep usually worked. The thunderstorms weren't as intimidating when she sat on the cushions of the U-shaped couch. She would have all the lights turned on and would immerse herself in the pages of what she was currently reading. There, she didn't feel quite as alone.
"I think it looks beautiful."
The sentence had floated into Raven's ears the second she walked down the few steps into the room. She broke her deadpanned expression, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness and more thunder rumbled in her chest. Raven's breath caught in her throat when she finally found the voice that belonged to the person.
"Well I think it's pretty loud." Beast boy chuckled from his place on the couch. His arm rested on the back of the couch around a slender blonde girl. It was apparent they didn't notice Raven's entrance. "I can feel my teeth rattle."
"When I was on my own," Terra casually leaned into Beast boy's side as if it were a normal thing. "I used to watch the storms from open fields at a distance. It's a great feeling with the wind in your hair and the chill bumps."
There was a moments pause as the black skies lit up, "Is that safe?"
"Why don't you come find out the next time we have a thunderstorm?" Terra's voice was light and thoughtful. Raven cringed at the humming of their content emotions mingling with one another. "I'm still here aren't I?"
"Okay I will." Beast boy chuckled again and brought his arm to rest around Terra's shoulders. "That's the good thing about the tower; great view. And you don't have to be alone."
Raven felt as if her heart was in the grip of a boa constrictor. It was a feeling she was most unfamiliar with but it hurt in a way she never thought possible. Timid was in hysterics and Love was completely heartbroken. Raven didn't need to look into her mirror to know that Nevermore was in commotion. It took all of her concentration to prevent her powers from lashing out.
"I really love this." Terra mumbled. "In a way its relaxing too." More flashes of lightning danced across the dark sky as the rain continued to pour.
Raven couldn't keep the frown from off her face and her eyes stung as tears threatened to fall from her now glossy eyes. It felt as if she had lost something so special and dear to her. She stood rooted to the spot and forgot her initial intention of reading. It didn't take an expert to know that the couple on the couch were happy together. Even if they were close friends, the attraction they felt for one another was still there.
"So…tomorrow after training," Beast boy began in a slow high pitched voice. "I was wondering…"
"C'mon spit it out," Terra playfully nudged the green boy. "What is it BB?"
Raven felt the wave of nerves that radiated from Beast boy. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out…like to the beach maybe? Just us two."
"Really?" Terra's voice was full of wonder at his date proposal. "I'd love to go."
His green fist pumped the air in triumph. "Sweet!"
The tone of his cheerful voice seemed to seal Raven's fate. She moved back up the carpeted red steps wishing that she had never witnessed the scene before her. Apparently she couldn't move fast enough as Beast boy spoke up once more. Her foot faltered on the step and she clumsily made it to the top.
"How does popcorn and a movie sound?" Beast boy jumped up from the couch which caused Terra to fall over onto her side. In an instant, an orange pillow hit Beast boy in the face.
"Sounds awesome." Terra's voice chimed with laughter. "Hey Beast boy?"
"Yeah?"
Raven clenched her fist and held her book tightly to her chest; not wanting to hear the words to follow. She reentered the dim hallway again and flung her book into the wall. She was livid and had never mistreated her any of her belongings in such a way. Her emotions got the better hold of her and soon she was trembling uncontrollably. Once the end of the hallway she slammed the door open that revealed the stairwell that led to the roof.
Raven was out of breath by the time she made it to the top of the steps. She opened the door and was met with cool air and made her breath mist in front of her face. She sat on the cold cement step with rain droplets hitting her face. Raven bit her lower lip but the surge of her emotions was unleashed.
"I'm such an idiot." She whispered as she mentally beat herself up.
The metal of the basketball hoop twisted and the cement walls began to crack. The sounds of the damage blended in with the booming thunder. Raven's salt water tears mixed in with the rain the splashed her face. It was the one time she could allow her emotions to seep out without startling the residents of the tower.
Raven pulled her legs up to her chest and leaned her head against her knees. "I'm finally alone and I hate it." The words were broken as waves of hysteria hit her.
Being alone was the one thing she had wanted from him and karma had made its way around to her. She was jealous but had no right to take away Beast boy's happiness. Beast boy had been the sunshine to her most miserable days. And now he was gone because she had denied him one too many times. Raven hung her head low and mourned for her loss because afterwards she would shed no more tears for her beloved shapeshifter.
A/N: I tweaked the ending (only about a sentence long). This will stay a one shot as I don't have the time or motivation to extend this one anymore. I may delete this fanfic eventually.