Blind
AN: I figured that after putting Scotty on the stand, I should grant Lilly the same courtesy. So here's her take on the settings after "Joseph". Don't worry, it still involves Scotty.
Disclaimer: Still don't have Danny Pino in my pocket (dang it), so no…don't own a thing.
Spoilers: "Joseph". And my other story "It hurts".
He thought she was blind. Poor stupid Scotty Valens. She was a cop, for heaven's sake, she could read people's minds with ever increasing accuracy. And working so close to said Scotty, made her sort of an expert in the expressions of his face. The gestures, the smirk, the intonation which gave the words a different meaning. She knew him alright. And she most definitely wasn't blind.
As Lilly Rush watched her partner walk away, shoulders hunched though it wasn't that cold outside, she could feel the pain of her rejection emanate from his body. He was hurting alright. And not just his hand.
Kat had told her what she figured he had done and it sounded too much like the ill-tempered version of her partner not to be true. She wouldn't tell him she knew, but secretly, she agreed with his actions. To tell the truth, she wasn't sure she wouldn't have done exactly the same. Of all the crimes she ever had to deal with, those involving kids always hit her the hardest. Hit them all the hardest.
Secretly, she agreed with a whole lot of what he was saying, whether out loud or not. She agreed that her feelings for Joseph were rocky at best and could progress to being outright dangerous. Even though he was innocent, he had a shady past and she should know by now that people with shady pasts did not make for good boyfriends.
Which meant that neither would Scotty. He had admitted that much himself. Maybe only as some comic relief to try and evaporate the clouds of misunderstanding and innuendo between them, but still...
Yet, Lilly knew that Scotty was a good man. Yes, he had a flaring temper sometimes, yes, he had fallen into her sister's trap with eyes wide open and yes, it had hurt her, but the end of the story was always the same: Scotty was there when she needed him. To save her from danger or from herself.
But needing him wasn't the problem. If that was all there was to it, she would have let him come to her rescue a long time ago. It was the deserving that provided the biggest hurdle. One she wasn't ready to tackle, didn't quite know how to.
A girl like her didn't deserve a guy like him. Lilly Rush had done nothing to deserve Scotty Valens. Just like the child Lilly had done nothing to deserve a sober mother, or a father who cared enough to stay.
So she was sorry for breaking his heart, for seeing the anguish of poorly hidden jealousy in his eyes, to hear the lie that he understood coming from his lips like a whiplash to the soul, but she had no choice. She had to make do with a man like Joseph, drawing strength out of the fact that he at least wouldn't demand more from her than she knew how to give. Like her heart. And the truth.
Scotty loved her. And she loved him. But this was real life and not a fairy tale. She had stopped believing in them a long time ago and it was better for him if he would stop believing in them too.
So she accepted the lies and let him walk away. Again.
He was right about one thing, though: It hurt like hell.
THE END
So how am I doing with them so far? Let me know if you feel like it!