Dreams, forever in my head it seems,
I finally know what they mean
I promise that one day you'll see, you'll see
In another world where you and me
We show our hearts, yeah, entirely
Deliver me from reality
And take me to my fantasy
Tell me we can make this real
If we can follow what we feel
I'm running but I've reached the edge
And now I'm falling, so promise that you'll catch me
I feel like I'm falling.
All my life I figured I had always been honest with myself, no matter what I had to hide from other people. The people I claimed I cared the most about were the ones I continually lied to in order to keep them happy. I've always worn a mask to keep things easy, especially in terms of my sexuality. My mind drifted back towards my Sophomore year in high school when I was still at Dalton, when I tried to casually bring up the truth about myself only to be mocked and told I didn't know what I was. That the idea of being bisexual was a myth because I just wanted to seem normal. Everyone seemed to decide for me that I was gay, and I figured that I was entitled to one secret if it meant I wouldn't be ridiculed or questioned anymore.
For me it was obvious; I'd always been attracted to both boys and girls. I knew it was different since all my friends were either exclusively straight or gay, but I found I was somewhere in between. It was only until I attended a party in high school that I really knew, that I could confidently say to myself that I was bisexual. After kissing Rachel Berry, the confusion disappeared. But even though I knew what my true feelings were, I couldn't deal with trying to keep everyone else happy. So as far as all my friends and family were concerned, I was gay. Things were easier this way.
After attempting to come out to Kurt that I was bisexual, I felt so alone. The fact that he told me I was kidding myself, that I just wanted to seem normal and hold a girl's hand to feel better about myself.. It was so painful. I needed him to tell me I already was normal. I needed his support but in turn all I received were judgmental comments to cover up his jealousy and fear that I would leave him. Ultimately his fear came true that we would break up, but to his knowledge it was because we couldn't deal with having a long distance relationship. I just couldn't stand being with somebody that constantly tried to mold me into what he wanted instead of loving me for me.
Five years have passed since then, and I'm now living in New York. After my break up with Kurt in high school, I lost touch with almost everyone (besides Sam and Sebastian of course, who I currently share an apartment with) so when I had bumped into Rachel on my way home from work at a local café I was surprised. Surprised yet ecstatic.
"Blaine! Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's really you!" Rachel squealed happily, pulling me into a tight embrace.
My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. She had only gotten more beautiful; she had matured since I last saw her in terms of her style, but she still had that classic beauty. No matter how she dressed she would always be stunning. Her brown eyes sparkled as she took me in, somehow trying to grasp that this was her best friend in front of her who she hadn't seen in over 3 years.
"Are you just visiting? Or do you live here know? Oh, you're probably here to see Kurt right? Or.." Rachel started to blurt out so many questions for me at once.
"No, no.. I live here Rachel. Actually I live with Sam and Sebastian, just a few blocks from here! I guess we have a lot to catch up on. Me and Kurt haven't talked in years, thankfully." I laughed with a soft smile.
"Oh.. I've missed a lot, I suppose. I really wish I hadn't lost contact with you Blaine, life sort of just took over here. Would you like to come over tonight to catch up? Quinn is visiting her family back in Lima so I'll have the apartment to myself if you'd like to come over for dinner." Rachel smiled at me.
"Sure thing, I actually have to run now but I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it for the world, Rach."
"Here's my address, it's just a little bit from here so you won't have to go too far. I'll see you tonight." Rachel said, kissing my cheek as she grabbed her drink and left.
My face burned with a blush that I was thankful Rachel didn't get a chance to see. This was just too much of a coincidence. I wanted to tell her the truth but I feared what she would think. Was she seeing anyone? Was she over the tragedy of Finn's death? Would she understand if I told her the truth, that I've had feelings for her for years? My stomach knotted as I walked back towards my apartment.
"Hey killer, what're you thinking for dinner? I'm craving some Chinese takeout but I don't know if Sam will go for it again." Sebastian called from the kitchen.
"Actually I'm going out tonight, Seb. I'm meeting Rachel to catch up. We bumped into each other today on my back here." I said, putting my keys on the counter.
"No way. Are you serious? Blaine, you guys haven't talked in forever! You'll have to fill me in when you get back tonight. Let me know if you need me, I know this will be hard for you." Sebastian said with a look of concern.
Sebastian was the only person that knew the truth about me. We quickly became close after we met, and then eventually became best friends. I'd be lying if I said we weren't both attracted to each other, but Sebastian actually had a boyfriend that he met at Dalton before he graduated. He was still Sebastian of course, so I always got flirtatious remarks from time to time, but they were harmless. He had found love and I couldn't be happier for him. I know I can always rely on him for anything.
That being said, he knows all about my feelings for Rachel. Sebastian had always been so supportive and understanding when I would tell him how much I felt I had screwed up by not telling her the truth before she moved away. For not trying to get in touch with her sooner because I was so scared it would ruin our friendship. Sebastian always assured me that the timing was always off, and that it would've been too much for her to deal with after Finn's passing.
Before I knew it, the sun began to set and it was almost time to head over to Rachel's apartment. I got ready quickly and flagged down a taxi outside. Her apartment wasn't too far, so the ride over went by in a matter of minutes. After I paid the driver, I went inside, trying to calm myself before I knocked on the door. I was ridiculously nervous and didn't want to ruin anything. I heard the door being unlocked and was met with a beautiful smile.
"Thank you for coming over! I'm so happy you're here!" Rachel exclaimed happily.
"Me too, Rach. I thought I'd never see you again." I murmured.
We sat down to an extravagant dinner; vegan, of course; and began to catch up with each other. I told her how I had worked as a coach for the Warblers until recently when I was offered a job here in New York to coach a few teams at the surrounding schools. With a few national championships under my belt for the Warblers, I got a lot of interest and many job offers out of state. New York had always called to me for more reasons than one, so I happily accepted to move and teach here. I told her how I had lost touch with everyone except Sam and Sebastian, how everyone had moved on with their lives after graduation and especially how ties seemed to break with everyone after Finn's passing. I was sure to mention that last part softly, unsure of how Rachel would react. And I casually brought up that I was single and had been since I broke up with Kurt, so keen to hear if she was involved with anyone or not.
"As you know, me and Finn weren't.. together, when everything went down. Jesse had expressed interest in dating about a year after Finn passed away, but I just couldn't. It didn't feel right, and I wasn't ready. But I've grown up a lot, I've had so much time to figure out what I want in life, and it was wonderful to focus on myself for a while. But it has been different, I have to admit. I got so accustomed to always being with someone that it's been refreshing to have some freedom. I love starring on Broadway and being so busy, but I do get lonely sometimes. I'm so envious of Quinn and Noah's relationship! After all of the heartache they went through, they eventually ended up together. It was so romantic!" Rachel explained.
"Rach, I need to tell you something. Sort of a confession, I guess." I blurted out suddenly.
Rachel looked at me with curious eyes, a bit shocked that I had blurted out so randomly. I hadn't meant to interrupt her but I guess my nerves got the best of me.
"You remember when we kissed at your party, right? How that spark was there? And then when I took you out on a date, but I'd told you I was truly gay afterwards- I'm actually not gay, I'm bi." I said quickly, waiting for Rachel's reaction.
To my surprise she softly held my hand and smiled, and pulled me into a hug. My entire body filled with warmth as we embraced.
"I think.. I think I sort of knew, after we kissed and when I always saw you with Kurt. We've always been so close but it's always felt like more than that. Sometimes when I caught your eye when you were out with him, I always hoped deep down that you were looking at me, even if I thought I was kidding myself. But I never acted on it Blaine, it seemed like our timing was always off, and then we lost touch with each other. I was so terrified I would never see you again, and I missed you so much.." Rachel said quietly, still holding me.
"So you're not angry with me? For not telling you sooner?" I asked.
"Of course not! This is something very personal so it's your decision whether or not anyone has the right to know. Thank you for telling me Blaine." Rachel said with a smile.
"Thank you so much.. If we're still being honest now Rachel, I have to tell you one more thing. I've been crazy about you since I met you. I wanted to tell you so many years ago, but things were so much harder back then. I didn't want to interfere with you and Finn, and you were so happy that me and Kurt were together that I figured I had better leave well enough alone. But I was miserable, Rach. I wanted you so bad.." I felt my voice break at that last part.
"Can I tell you a secret, too, Blaine? Something that I've never told anyone else? If you'll still have me after all this time, the truth is that I've wanted you just as badly." Rachel said looking down.
I couldn't help but respond any other way than kissing her. So many years I had wasted by not telling Rachel the truth that I felt so ashamed with myself. But it felt like it was all worth it now as I deepened the kiss and ran my fingers through her hair. I broke apart to get confirmation that this is really what she wanted. Our eyes met as I searched for any doubt or second thoughts; I was elated to find none from Rachel, only a longing that I was feeling as well.
She smiled and took my hand, leading me towards her bedroom. I felt like taking initiative and couldn't help myself as I pinned Rachel to the wall, nipping at her neck as I told her what I'd been feeling for so long.
"Do you remember when I was your Tony for West Side Story? How we kissed so many times in front of everyone? It was so hard not to take you there on stage, you made me so crazy Rachel.. you were all I could think about. I couldn't stop from touching myself when our shows were over. I always wished it was you making me come.." I breathed into her neck, feeling her whimper at my words.
Rachel suddenly pulled away softly and lowered herself to her knees, never breaking eye contact with me. She slowly began undoing my pants and I had to blink a few times to make sure this was really happening.
"Mmm.. want to know another secret about me Blaine?" Rachel said with her hand softly tracing the outside of my boxers.
I couldn't utter any words and could only nod my head, desperately wanting to know so Rachel could continue her ministrations. I was starting to feel dazed as she smiled up at me.
"I don't have a gag reflex."
I swear I almost came right there at her confession. Rachel released my cock and instantly wrapped her mouth around me, quietly humming as she swallowed down my length. I instinctively bucked as I felt my cock hit the back of her throat. This was too good. Rachel bobbed her head and swirled her tongue around me, causing me to feel jolts of pleasure.
"Fuck, Rach.. your mouth is so hot. I n-never thought I could feel this good. Oh Rachel, wait, I'm gonna.." I moaned, suddenly feeling my release coming.
Rachel seemed to understand but surprisingly didn't pull away. I couldn't stop myself as I came harder than I ever had before. Rachel wasn't alarmed at all as she swallowed it all down, coaxing me through as I came down from my orgasm.
She released me with a pop and wiped the corner of her mouth, flashing a bright smile at me. It was almost sinful how good she was at blowing me when she herself oozed innocence. The thought turned me on even more, knowing she acted so devilish with me. She always had been such a talented actress.. After a few more breaths, I smiled at Rachel and pushed her lightly down on her bed.
"Hopefully I can return the favor, pretty girl.. I've wanted to do this to you for so long. I've never done this with another girl before but I intend to make you see those stars you favor so much.." I whispered.
I've always been eager to please so I made sure to listen to every whimper and moan Rachel made to catch on to what made her feel the best. I slowly ran my hands down her shorts and slid them down, leaving her in a soaked black thong. I felt her breath hitch as I grazed over her clit, feeling how aroused and ready she was for me.
"Wanna make you feel so good.." I murmured.
Not wanting to keep her waiting, I slipped off her thong and slowly inserted my index finger. Rachel tossed her head back and let out a long breathy moan, so I took that as a sign to continue. She was absolutely soaked, my finger slid in and out with ease.
"Oh Rachel, do you feel how wet you are? So fucking soaked.. and so tight around me. Such a good girl taking my fingers in.." I praised, adding a second finger and pumping faster.
Hearing her moan and tighten around me, I sped up even more to bring her closer to coming undone. Just when I felt her tighten around me, I withdrew my fingers and replaced them with my mouth. This surprised Rachel as she squeaked from the new sensation she felt from my tongue. She tasted so sweet, almost as sweet as her namesake.. I gently sucked and swirled my tongue in laps on her slit, all the while hearing her curse and beg for more, fisting my hair to try and pull me closer. I looked up at her and saw she had come apart, lashing her head from side to side, eyes closed tightly with her beautiful mouth open, those erotic moans flowing freely now. I moved my tongue up to her clit and inserted my finger again, knowing all too well she was on the edge.
"Come for me, Rachel. I wanna hear you scream out how good I'm making you feel." I growled possessively.
"Ah, Blaine! Please, please, please, ah.. Don't stop! Oh fuck, Blaine!" Rachel screamed, coming hard on my hand.
I swear I had never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. Rachel fell back, sweaty and out of breath, smiling contentedly. I felt satisfaction from pleasing her so well, especially considering it was my first time with a girl. I wasn't sure if Rachel wanted to go even further, so I gave her a minute to catch her breath before asking.
"You're incredible Rachel. I don't want to move this too quickly but- I mean, if you're alright with it then.." I began to say.
Rachel interrupted me by pulling me to her once more for a kiss, this one much longer and full of passion. I know she could taste herself on me but she didn't seem to mind. She pulled away and removed my shirt, leaving just her top remaining.
"Please fuck me, Blaine. I've been waiting too long for you." Rachel replied, no hesitation present.
I grinned at her words and took off the last article of clothing from Rachel, leaving both of us completely exposed. I had always wanted this to be more romantic, to have a special candlelit dinner or flowers for her, but this would have to do. We both want this and I'd be a fool to keep her waiting any longer. Just as I was fumbling in my pant pocket for protection, Rachel quickly added that she was on the Pill. I thanked my lucky stars seeing as I hadn't brought anything, and I wasn't sure if I would have been able to wait much longer.
Everything happened so quickly, it was almost a blur to me. Feeling Rachel's nails scraping my back, hearing her beg me to take her.. I slowly pushed inside, going slow to give Rachel time to adjust. Once I felt her move her hips a few times against me to get friction, I picked up the pace. Being inside of her was the most incredible feeling; even better when she had just blown me, which I thought couldn't be topped. She was so warm around me, and the dull pain from her nails scraping against my back made my own pleasure skyrocket. This was absolute euphoria.
"Oh, oh, faster. Blaine, I need you. Please!" Rachel all but begged.
"So fucking hot when you talk like that Rach. You have n-no idea how long I've wanted this- I'm the only one who can make you feel this good, who can make you sing so loudly.." I growled in her ear.
"Yes, yes, the only one! Only one.. make me feel so good, s-so close!" Rachel moaned incoherently.
I felt myself getting close to the edge again but wanted to make sure Rachel came before me. I could feel she was almost there so I spurred her on, bending my head down to bite hard on her collarbone. Moaning, she begged me to make her come. She was almost shaking from pleasure so I knew I had to be quick.
"Now. Come right now Rachel." I commanded, my voice coming out much darker then usual. I thrust hard and bit down on her neck, breaking the skin and tasting blood as I felt her immediately tightening around me.
Rachel came with a long scream; I don't think I would ever tire of hearing her voice. I followed seconds after, burying my head into her neck as I spilled inside her, unable to stop myself from moaning her name. We both attempted to come down quickly, still tangled in each other riding our highs. I heard Rachel sigh happily as her eyes met mine, sparkling bright as usual. We were both a mess, hair a mess and covered in sweat. A few minutes of comfortable silence passed before I felt my eyes getting heavy. Rachel must have felt the same as I felt her cuddle next to me, my arm reached out to hold her instinctively.
"Missed you so much Blaine. Love you.." Rachel said sleepily.
My heart ached suddenly as I felt a huge smile suddenly appear on my face. Thank you for catching me, Rachel. As I listening to Rachel's quiet breathing as she slept against me, I softly replied, "I love you too."
Been a few years since I've written anything so I'm a bit rusty :) Showing one of my favorite OTP's a little love; I couldn't get this out of my head so hope you enjoyed! Might make revisions since this was thrown together pretty quickly. I love me some Blainchel, they are so gorgeous together.. :)