She fell asleep. She just closed her eyes and fell asleep. She never thought that is possible anymore. A miracle... She fell asleep.
Looking at the dark ceiling Sakura knows that she didn't sleep for too long though. It is still dark outside, but not dark enough to be the middle of the night. She can see the shape of everything in the room.. If she listen carefully she can hear the crickets, but she doesn't listen at all. She is scared because she fell asleep, because she can't hear anymore. She can't hear her anymore... For the past days she could only hear her.
"Sasuke..." she whispers turning her head to his side of the bed.
He isn't here.
Sakura doesn't know if she should smile or burst into tears. She knows where he is, she knows why she doesn't hear her...
Hidden by the dark of the night she gets down of the bed. It's chilly, but she doesn't care.
Her footsteps are precise and silent. She can lie and say is a habit from her ninja training, but she doesn't bother to do that. The truth is she walks so carefully because she is afraid the spell is gonna break.
She is at the entrance of her room, almost at the door frame. She just moves a little to the right, to not be seen and she just looks at the picture in front of her.
Sasuke is in front of the crib with his hand captured by the little girl's arms. He doesn't sense her presence, even though he never misses anything. She knows he is trapped. Something more powerful than any genjutsu has captured him.
She smiles now forgetting how sad she should be.
He leaves at dawn and she knows it.
She remembers all the crying and the yelling she did, she remembers how calm he was with her and she remembers how he refused to hold his daughter since he decided to leave.
She knows he has to leave, she knows he feels guilty and she knows that he is afraid that if he holds her he won't be able to leave.
Sarada doesn't know that and because she has her mother's temper, she keeps crying...all the time, like she knows something bigger then her is happening. So Sakura hasn't slept in days trying to calm her baby. She didn't succeed though.
Sleep has became a foreign concept for her.
However, looking at the image in front of her, Sakura knows she will always be in 2nd place. Observing how the little girl was mumbling something in her own language while holding her father's arm, the woman realises she will never be her daughter's favourite. The bond between the two of them is magical. Sarada is a daddy's girl for sure.
Sakura doesn't remember ever being so happy for winning second place.
"Hey..."
She stops breathing when his unique voice breaks the silence. For a moment she thinks she has been discovered, but his back is still at her and he still looks at the baby now silent in her crib.
He can't possibly notice her when his attention is captured by the beautiful miracle they created.
His whisper is directed to her.
" You are a persistent little thing aren't you?"
The little girl seems to answer something in her weird language and Sakura smiles. She believes Sasuke smiles too.
" You want to know a secret? You are my favourite person too."
Sasuke isn't a man of many words, but he seems to want to use all of them on his daughter.
" Sarada..." he whispers in his calm and concealed voice.
He stops and Sakura is picturing him closing his eyes for a moment.
" I'm leaving..."
Sakura has to bite her lips to stop her sob. She doesn't even notice the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I don't know when or if I'll come back... Please don't hate me..."
A strange sound like some kind of a small laugh escapes his lips.
" It's okay if you do though. I deserve it..."
Sakura's heart breaks a little hearing his words.
" You'll have to manage without me and based on your lungs...you are extremely strong"
He laughs again and he leans in a little more. His laugh is not as bitter as the last time.
" You are beautiful too... You're going to break a lot of hearts. I know it and it's killing me already...No matter what... you are not allowed to fall for a man like your father...that kind of man is not worth it... Pick someone like 'The Idiot'... someone who is always there...someone who makes you laugh...someone who wears his heart on his sleeve...someone who respects every promise he makes... someone who will never be able to leave you"
He pauses and for a second Sakura thinks again he sensed her.
"...like I will do..."
He stops again and the woman holds her breath.
"Don't upset that annoying mother of yours too much. You can't get rid of her. Believe me, I tried... She never gives up... She's just too damn stubborn..."
The baby mumbles something again. Sakura wants to laugh, but she knows by the way he pronounced the last sentence that he is aware of her presence. He just chooses to focus on the other stubborn girl in his life. Sakura just steps into the room slowly, afraid that she will break the spell. She just stands next to her husband, looking at the girl with big black eyes.
"Sleep you loud little thing..." he whispers. "...and don't forget me..."
His last words were like the wind. You may not hear them but you feel them in your heart. At least Sakura thinks that.
" The sun is almost rising" her voice is a whisper too.
"Hn"
They stay silent for a little while. Sarada's eyes are closing and she can't stay awake anymore.
This time Sakura laughs.
" She's finally asleep" she says
"Indeed" Sasuke agrees finally moving his hand.
Sakura turns her head to look at him. He seems to try to memorise every part of Sarada's skin. A new kind of fear is present in his eyes and he doesn't even realize it.
"She will hate me one day, right?" he asks in a low voice, not even wanting an answer.
His sentence doesn't sound like a question... more like an unsure statement.
Sakura knows that and she doesn't try to comfort him, like she normally does. She doesn't cry or begs him to take her with him either... She can't do that anymore... at least for now.
Instead of doing all of those things, she hears her own voice before realising she is speaking.
" We have something in common... me and her. Apparently none of us can sleep without you by our side."
Saying those words she knows they were 100% true. He probably knows it too.
She curses herself for saying that, because it was a mean thing to say to a man who is leaving...
He doesn't look affected by that though. But Sakura knows he doesn't look affected by anything in general.
He knows he should get out of the room but he doesn't move a muscle.
For a few minutes the baby's even breathing is the only sound in the room.
"We'll be all right" Sakura whispers trying to smile. She doesn't really manage to. She is also lying. She doesn't want him to go and for a brief unholy moment she hates the world they live in. A world with enemies...and massacres...and war...and blood... and death. A world where being a ninja is more important than being a husband or a father... or a human being...
"Stop thinking so loud. You'll wake up the baby"
His voice is cold like usual and he is still looking at the little girl finally sleeping in her crib. Sakura knows though... She knows he worries in his own way. She doesn't say anything when she feels his hand gently holding hers. She wants to smile, but she doesn't... she just can't.
She remembers being tired at some point. Now she is just sad.
"We'll be all right" she repeats, not knowing if she says it for him or for her.
He hears her and he looks at her out of the corner of his eye. She is small and fragile, like every precious thing in life. He doesn't know for sure what she is thinking, but her thoughts are too heavy for her shoulders. That's why he holds her hand... To remember her he has shoulders too... and he is stronger than her.
Sakura knows, somehow she does... She wants to cry and yell at him, but that would be a stupid waste of time.
They don't talk or kiss or say goodbye... They just stay and look at the beautiful baby until the sun comes trough the window and kills the spell.
The little girl moves in her sleep then, like she feels her papa's departure.
Sarada is a daddy's girl, but is hard to be a daddy's girl with only a mother, Sakura thinks kissing her forehead softly...
Yes, I know this isn't exactly accurate, but I have this story stuck in my head for a long time, so I had to write it so I can go on with my life :)
Let me know what you think of it. I can't wait to hear your opinion.
P.S. Sorry for any mistakes I probably made.