The Spider House
"Dad! Dad! Dads!" The tiny figure of the four-year-old known as Peter Parker-Rogers-Stark dove into the massive double bed, right on top of his two fathers. Their reactions were vastly different: one smiled and kissed his head, while the other swore and turned over.
"Dads, come on! Wake up!" Peter rolled over and shook the brunette one, who tried desperately to cling to the last fragments of sleep.
"Pete, how about you and I make your Dad some breakfast and then wake him up?"
"Yeah!" Peter exclaimed, with the usual four-year-old enthusiasm. Tony Stark smiled slowly, relishing in his being allowed to remain in bed. He could hear his son practically bouncing off the walls with energy and wondered if he could make something to transfer that energy to himself.
By the time Tony had rolled out of bed, Steve and Peter were dressed. Peter was gabbing happily to his Dad about absolute nonsense and Steve was listening, up to his elbows in frothy dishwater. Even though Tony had a house full of machinery, which meant that the housework virtually did itself, Steve insisted on cleaning by hand.
"Can we go to the zoo today, Daddy? Pretty please?"
"Well, we'll have to check with Dad, and with your aunt and uncles first." Peter leapt to his feet, running down the hall barefoot, bellowing "AUNTIE TASHA!" Steve watched him go fondly, and then turned his attention to his husband.
"Morning, sunshine."
"Morning."
"Can we take Peter to the zoo today?"
"… Because we want to send the message that caging up animals is okay," Tony replied sarcastically, pouring a cup of coffee. Steve, used to morning sarcasm, waited until he'd had a sip before speaking again. As soon as the caffeine hit him, Tony was usually pretty okay.
"We don't spend a lot of time as a family. Half the time, he's left with Coulson, while we're off fighting. Besides, this is what he wants to do. It could be good for all of us. God knows we haven't been out of this tower since… I don't even know when."
"They're all very convincing arguments, Steve, but you're forgetting one small detail."
"What's that?"
"Clint hates being woken up early."
There came a hoarse cry and a stream of childish giggles. Clint was obviously tickling Peter for waking him. This was a common occurance.
"Uncle Clint, stop, stooooop!"
"No way, kid! This is the last time-"
"-You wake me up!" Steve and Tony chorused, laughing.
"Come on, come on, we're going to the zoo!"
"What is this 'zoo' that you speak of, puny Peter?" Steve turned to Tony. Thor considered 'puny' a term of endearment. Peter loved the name.
"How does he manage to wake up the whole place, and yet no one is mad at him?"
"It's his cuteness. He gets it from you." Peter reappeared in the doorway, flinging himself at Tony for a huge hug. Tony scooped him up, kissing his cheek.
"Hello, Squirt. I hear we're going to the zoo."
"Yeah!" Peter wriggled around happily.
"How excited are you, buddy?" Peter threw his arms out as wide as he could.
"This much!"
"I'm glad. Now, just wait for everyone to have breakfast and get dressed and then we'll head off, okay?"
"Okay!" Tony set him down and he scampered off.
"What is this place? Why are there so many ferocious specimens? And why are they locked in prisons of metal? Man of metal, explain this!" Tony turned to look back at Thor with an amused expression. For a start, the god was clad in jeans and a t-shirt (it had taken them ages to find a t-shirt that would actually fit him). Thor was looking around, confused. Just ahead, Steve was carrying a squealing Peter on his shoulders.
"Well, some of these animals can only be found in certain places. So people bring them here so that people can experience seeing them. They're in cages to protect people from the dangerous animals." Thor waved a dismissive hand.
"No son of Odin needs protecting from a Midgardian animal!" Bruce ducked under Thor's arm, looking around him nervously.
"No, Thor, that's correct. However… Midgardians need protecting from Midgardian animals."
"Look, Dad! Monkeys!" Peter's excitement was contagious, and so, the group split. Steve and Tony took him to the monkey exhibit, while Thor went off in search of the more dangerous Midgardian animals. Clint went in search of the birds of prey; Bruce went to see the reptiles and Natasha went to the spider house. Peter spent the whole time bouncing around on Steve's shoulders, tugging on his hair. Steve winced periodically, but the smile couldn't be wiped off his face. Tony wrapped an arm about his husband's waist.
"You were right. This was a good idea."
"Of course it was, Daddy! It was my idea!" Peter crowed from his perch.
"You're full of good ideas, aren't you Peter? Just like your dad," Steve grinned up at him.
"That's right! One day, I wanna grow up to be a superhero, just like you, Dads!" Steve's smile froze.
"I don't think that's a good idea, champ," Tony stepped in. "Your dad and I… we're not really heroes. I mean, we are, but we didn't mean to become heroes. It's not a good job, really. I would much rather that you became a scientist." Peter frowned and pouted down at Tony.
"And I would much rather that you were an accountant," Steve chimed in. Their son looked positively horrified.
"But that's so boring!"
"You're right, Pete. Accounting is pretty damn boring," Tony agreed.
"The point remains: no becoming a superhero, Mister, if you can avoid it." Steve wagged a finger up at his son.
"Can you put me down, Daddy, please?" Steve placed the four-year-old gently on the ground.
"Stay close to us, Mister, or you'll be in a lot of trouble."
"I will!" Peter chorused, whooping and galloping off to another corner of the monkey house. Steve turned back to the tiny monkeys in front of himself and Tony. His hand found its way into his husband's back pocket and for a moment, they stood in total peace, enjoying being out in public without a media frenzy. It was surprising how few people recognized them when they weren't garbed in their hero getup.
"Hey, Peter! Aren't you sick of the monkeys yet?" Tony called, after their moment was over. There came no reply.
"Peter? Answer your dad, please!" Steve called. Still nothing. Steve and Tony turned, scanning the crowd for Peter. No sign of him. Cue full-scale parental panic attack.
Steve yanked his mobile phone out of his pocket and stared at it. It took him a moment to remember how to unlock it and then he began locating and jabbing buttons slowly. He was new to mobile phone technology. Within seconds, Tony was on the line with all of the Avengers, through their collective earpieces. Steve had conveniently left his in the car.
"Avengers, assemble. Peter's missing." Steve gave up, shoving his phone back into his pockets and reaching up to pull his hair anxiously. Tony's hands reached up to take his husband's.
"What do you mean missing?" Dr. Banner's querulous voice came over the line.
"I mean, he was with Steve and I in the monkey house and then he was gone." Steve let out a small sob and Tony hugged him close.
"Got it. I'll keep an eye out in reptiles."
"I've got birds," Hawkeye checked in.
"I cannot see the puny one in with the Midgardian animals, but I shall, as you mortals say, keep my eyes peeled."
"Natasha, you got anything?" Tony could feel his heart rate climbing. He suddenly understood every nightmare story he'd been told about parenting.
"Nothing here yet, Tony, but… Wait! I got him! He's in here, with me! Peter, no-" She went off.
"Natasha's got him, Steve," Tony murmured into his husband's hair. Steve looked up, forehead creased with worry.
"Is he okay?"
"She didn't say. Come on, let's go to the spider house." They hastened to the insects, then arachnids, then found themselves surrounded by spiders. Steve recoiled and curled closer again to Tony, looking around in disgust.
"I fucking hate spiders," Tony muttered. He saw a flash of red up ahead and spotted Natasha coming towards them.
"Steve, Tony. I think you need to see this."
"Is Peter okay?" Steve burst out.
"He's fine. You need to see this," she insisted, leading them forward. A crowd had congregated into a circle. A long, thick rope of spider web hung down from the ceiling, straight into the centre of the circle, like a target. The crowd parted as they made their way through, with a few whispering and pointing.
"Captain-"
"Iron Man."
"- America."
"Peter!" Steve exclaimed. Tony couldn't help it; all prior panic coalesced and formed giggles. Peter was hanging by his ankle from the rope of spider web, laughing and whooping. Small, black spiders dotted the web, hard at work weaving more.
"Look at me, Dads! I'm a spider! I'm Spiderman!"