Hi, thanks for stumbling across my fanfic! This is my first fanfiction ever so be nice! :P I hope you like it!

Prologue

Falling is a simple concept. Like most things there is a beginning and there is an end. Not all, but most. The falling is inevitable, the landing is not.

For a while, you float among the clouds. But sooner or later you will hit the ground. It's a fact. The real question is the landing. Will you fall onto a bed of roses or land in the deadly thorns bellow?

For me it was the thorns. Of course it was. It is me after all. Emma Pillsbury; born a disaster. With fiery red hair and conflicting brown eyes I never had a chance. Even my parents didn't love me. I blame the brown eyes- they said I "wasn't ginger enough". They doted on my brother. He was born with hair so ginger it could be classed as orange and eyes so blue that the sky would weep in comparison.

For most children being a red head is a curse, you get mocked in the playground and sunburnt in the dark. But for me it was the only thing that made me feel like I was part of my family- and I couldn't even do that right.

I didn't mention? My parents are ginger supremacist. I know it sounds crazy. That's because it is.

You can hide from the truth for as long as you want; just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it's not there. I hid. I always hide. Running from your feelings is easier that facing them. But somehow I always trip, and then I fall, and, of course, land in the thorns; because, as I said before, I always do. But the falling isn't the bad part; it's the landing. You can choose to warm your hands in the fire, if you can deal with the burn. The question is; is it worth the pain?

I know I don't make any sense now, but, if it helps, I never have and I never will.

Like I said, I know who I am. I was never head cheerleader, never prom queen, never the most popular or the most pretty. Not that I wanted to be. Of course not. Everyone knows that stuff's overrated anyway.

It's hard to find a place to start. Even I don't know where it began. Where it ended, or if it has yet to end. You could even say it's one of those things that doesn't have an ending. My life is a circle- That sounds about right. To say my life's complicated would be an understatement. Anyway, I've got to start somewhere so I might as well chose a random point and work my way round, in a full circle.

I don't know why I chose Ohio. The small, forgotten town somehow stood out to me. I left my hometown without looking back. I hoped to leave my past behind me. But you can't run from who you are for long. No amount of pretending can make the truth any less real. I think I knew that, really, I just didn't want to admit it, even to myself.

I disguised myself in bright clothes and a squeaky clean appearance. I hoped that with a fake smile and sparkling Mary Janes no one would see the broken girl inside.

When nothing in my life is under control I guess I tend to fall back on the things that I can control. Like the angle of the objects on a desk or the cleanliness of my hands. I hate to feel like I'm helpless, like I can't control my own life.

I was polishing my name plate when I saw him. Smiling in approval I carefully slid the finally immaculate name plate into it's holder, cautious not to smudge the perfectly shining surface.

"Welcome to McKinley, miss... Pillsbury" A friendly voice called across the crowded hallway. The voice was so sweet it had a melodic ring to it. I looked up to see the person who had welcomed me. I was greeted with a face so handsome the voice I previously thought belonged to an angel was nothing in comparison. It took me a moment to catch my breath. Twinkling blue eyes and curly brown hair, simple on anyone else; almost average. But nothing's average about the man who I would later find is called Will Shuester. I got my first glimpse of the Will that I, and so many people before, after, and always will, love, in his smile. The lopsided grin that made- makes, my heart swell and my face flush. I'd do anything to know that I 'm the reason for that smile. To know that I alone can cause such a heartbreakingly beautiful grin makes everything better, like nothing else matters. For once I feel complete, important, loved. And all he has to do is smile at me.

I returned his grin with a shy smile of my own before returning to my name plate what I hoped was casually; because inside I was screaming, laughing, crying and singing. All at once I felt overwhelmed with emotion, and it was beyond frightening. I didn't believe in love at first sight. I was a sensible girl who relied on facts and figures. I didn't believe in what I couldn't see. Something wasn't real until it was visible. I didn't believe in what I couldn't see; I had a hard enough time understanding what was right in front of me, there was no point in adding the possibility of things that we couldn't see being there in the shadows, hiding.

But I'm only human. I cry when I'm sad, I smile when I'm happy and I'm a hopeless romantic. When I was little I wanted to be a princess. I loved Princess Diane because she was everything I wanted to be; a role model, an inspiration, a heroine. She was a modern day princess, the kind of woman that could capture a nation's heart with one simple smile.

I dreamt of the prince charming who would rescue my Cinderella from reality. I dreamt that one day I'd meet someone who would look at me and see something special, something wonderful; something worth slaying a dragon for. I wanted to believe in love at first sight, but I wanted to see the world for the beauty and wonder that I knew it was; that I knew it could be.

I chose a job as a councillor because I wanted to help others see the world for just that- beautiful. I knew that it was possible, maybe not for me, but at least if I couldn't be happy I could help other people find the happiness that I was so desperate to find. Maybe I have no hope, but at least I can make sure that no one else has to go through the same thing. Maybe if I had found help as a child I wouldn't have become the lost, broken woman I was for such a long time. I don't want anyone to have to go through the same thing I did, no one deserves to feel that alone. And they shouldn't have to.

Counselling is also a way of feeling in controlled; of feeling like I have a choice. Counselling is a second chance at the childhood I was deprived of. By helping others I am able to make a difference, to stop the pain of others. When I help people I feel like I'm important, needed, like I finally matter. I know it's a little ironic; someone with so many of her own problems helping others with theirs; the counsellor who needs counselling. But somehow it helps me forget- never for long, never completely. But at least for a little while, everything is better.

I never believed that anyone could love me. Even my parents didn't love me; in fact, I found it hard to love myself most of the time. So how could I expect a person who isn't tied to me by blood or by obligation, to stand by me all the same?

People are blind. When they look at me they see only the crazy that I have let define me for so long. They are blind to the women trapped inside, begging to be free from the confines that trap her within. Dramatic I know. But it's the truth.

Still, there was always a part of me that dreamed of finding true love. Of meeting a person who could see past the crazy that had blinded so many others; and finally see the woman who was waiting to be swept off her feet by her knight in shining armour. At last someone would see the girl, whose favourite colour is periwinkle blue; who loves Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and has a soft spot for my fair lady. I never believed it could actually happen, But I figured a girl can dream.

I've never been to church; my parents said that god hates gingers; that he makes his followers say that gingers are spawn of the devil. Like I said; my parents are crazy. But I still prayed. I know I said that I don't believe in what I can't see. But sometimes we see what we want to see; because it's easier than seeing the truth. Or maybe I was scared. If god hears me then at least I have some control. I'm not completely helpless, I'm not completely alone.

But I am alone. Or at least I was. I preferred it that way. At least If I don't let anyone get close to me I can't get hurt. As crazy as it sounds it made sense to me, in some strange way, it made sense. I never thought that there'd come a day where I'd actually want to let someone in. That I'd ever want to be close enough to a person that I could practically see the germs jumping from their skin onto mine. But, what does it even matter if I'm covered from head to toe in germs, when at least I'm loved. Isn't that what I've always wanted? To be accepted? No amount of hand sanitizer can fill the void that's always been in my heart. No amount of pretending can shelter me from what's there, from what's always been there. But I've always been too blind to see. But Will didn't open my eyes. There are some things that only you can do for yourself. That no one else can do for you. Will give me the voice I needed to sing. He didn't give me the wings I needed to fly. Because there is one thing I missed. One thing I didn't tell you. Falling is not the only option. There is never only one choice. So never think you're trapped. Sometimes you just need to look closer. Sometimes you need to stop running and take a moment to stand still. And when you do you might just see how beautiful the world really is. How beautiful it always has been. Falling isn't the only option. When you're so high up to start with it's hard to fall. And when you do you might find that you always were amongst the stars, that there is no gravity, no fall. But no one can find it out for you; even someone as amazing as Will. Will didn't Give me the wings I needed to fly, he didn't give me the eyes I needed to see; he just gave me the courage to fall.

That's it... So far! Hope you enjoyed reading the prologue, I'm not sure to carry on with this fanfic, it was going to be a one shot but I thought it sounded like a prologue, so I'm not sure whether to carry on with it or not. Let me know what you think, should I carry it on or move on to another fanfic? Or, quickly burn all of my writing so that no one has to see it (which would be really hard since most of it's on a compute). Don't forget to review, thank you for reading!