A/N: This is an older story I did, actually it's the third Kiro fic I ever wrote. It came after The Gun and Guitar Part 2. It too, like GandG really needed some work, fixing bad grammar and all that. It's an odd tale, done in K's first person (yikes! it was tough to put myself in K's mind lol...Hiro's is much nicer lol!) Anyways, its a bit of a dramatic fic, K being a bit emo and there's naughty stuff, like mild BDSM stuff, voyeurism. It's kinky lol! Truly, I didn't get all hardcore on that. But the fun part is that we know Hiro is The Watcher, but K doesn't, of course XD He finds himself kind of torn between the two and coping with all these new feelings.

Poor K. Naughty Hiro -grins-

I hope you enjoy! I wanted to share this fic here. Of course like all my fics there is humour and oddness. There are only 6 chapters, I'll be posting them as soon as I complete editing them.

Part 1

Shame on You

Downtown Tokyo is a busy place even at night—cars bustling along, people, crowding the sidewalks in search of their next haunt, lights flashing like rainbows on speed advertising hip nightclubs, shops and restaurants...an endless buzz. It was spring, but it made no difference really. No matter what season it was, it always amazed me when I stepped out of the NG building at night and into this. Like a flip of a coin—during the day it was all business, but at night it was pleasure.

I was half a block from NG, the powerful music label where I worked for the last two years. I managed a band called Bad Luck. Searching my tan pants pockets, fingers finding purchase with familiar things, a phone, cigarettes, some bullets—because, hey, this is me we're talking about—a package of gum and some change... You know, I'm starting to wonder if I seriously carry to much crap. I bet I looked like an Umpa Lumpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

But what I was looking for wasn't there...there was no familiar jingle of car keys.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath. I must have left my fricken keys in the recording studio or something. A weary sigh escaped me and I turned on my heel and headed back work. Like I don't get enough of this damn place?

The security guard, Bob, was surprised to see me again. Before I left, we'd had a pleasant chat about how the economy is going to hell and moaned about the Knicks losing last night's game. "Hey, K. Did you forget something?" he asked standing up behind his long black desk.

"Left my keys…you know, shit happens," I told him in my fluent Japanese.

"Of course," he muttered, chuffing with understanding and sat back down.

I gave a cheery wave as the elevator doors shut in front of me. My smile faded as the lift climbed higher and I patted the gun nestled under my right arm under my brown jacket, a trusty friend that has never let me down. It worked wonders in the music business...well, sometimes. I think people were starting to get used to me though...

I avoided looking at my reflection in the mirror inside the lift. I knew if I did that I would only see a, tired, overworked salary man. A man whose wife recently left him for some young Hollywood stud, I reminded myself and frowned bitterly. The image of a man with overly long, blonde hair all astray from the neat ponytail I started off with this morning. I felt weary, I felt aged and I just wanted to go home to my empty apartment.

Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered.

The elevator dinged and the stainless steel doors opened almost soundlessly. I stepped out, walking down the familiar white hallway, the heels of my shoes clicking on the dark, polished tiled floors. Today Bad Luck had been in the recording room, cutting a new single. So I headed there first and quietly entered the long dimly lit room. I found myself behind the glass that divided the space, eyes roaming over the recording equipment, wide panels littered with dials and buttons.

Ah ha! I spotted my keys near someone's empty Styrofoam coffee cup on a table between two dark leather chairs. Lazy bastards...I'll be nice and throw out the cup, since it probably belonged to someone from the band or one of the technicians. How silly of me, to place my keys on the table, it must have been when I was messing with my cell phone earlier. But my senses alert I felt that I wasn't alone. I scanned the room but no one was here. Only then, in my peripheral vision, I caught movement in the isolation booth. Instinctively, I ducked and withdrew my magnum before anyone could see me.

I peeked from the corner of the glass; it was only Shuichi and Yuki...

Shuichi and Yuki! What were they doing...? But it became apparent what they were 'doing' here. A blush warmed my face, they were making out in the isolation booth, vaguely lit by the accent lights that always remained on even when the main light was shut off. I couldn't hear them because on either side, both rooms were soundproof, unless the mic was turned on. But from the looks on their faces I imagined there was a lot of heavy breathing, moaning.

I didn't think they'd noticed me.

Ok, Claude, I told myself, time to go. But my feet aren't moving. Instead I found myself spying on the two love birds. I watched Yuki as he lifted Shuichi's shirt, leaning down to kiss over his belly. Gulp!

You should leave! My mind roared at me.

I couldn't move, something held me here, compelling me to watch. On the other side of the glass, Shuichi and Yuki were kissing now. I could easily see their tongue's sliding over each other, their desire for each other almost, greedy. I bit my bottom lip, unable to stop myself from getting aroused.

But I'm not even attracted to men said my inner voice. Then why are you turned on, came other voice inside of my head.

Dammit! I was starting to wonder if I was losing my mind. It was talking nonsense much more than usual lately, and it was starting to piss me off. I continued to watch. Watched how Yuki's blond hair hung around his face, all tousled and sexy. I watched how his hands moved over Shuichi's sweet body, caressing, exploring. I somewhat wished I could hear them. Sounds of love making were definitely nice to listen to.

The writer nudged Shuichi's legs apart—his own body nestled between them on the floor behind the standing microphone. I saw Shuichi's violet eyes open wide with yearning. With a devilish smirk, Yuki expertly loosened the vocalist's pants, and yanked them down from under him. He spoke to Shuichi, I could see his lips moving, but I couldn't hear it. I imagined he said, "I'm going to fuck you senseless you little brat." Lost in the show, I smirked along with Yuki, watching him as he produced a little tube of something out of his pocket. I realized it was lubrication. The blond was still entirely dressed in his black dress pants, sporting a black jacket over a royal blue shirt. Yuki slipped a well lubricated finger inside Shuichi's displayed entrance.

I crushed the Styrofoam cup in my hand.

Shuichi tossed his head back, nails scratching over the hardwood floor of the tiny stage they played on. Still I watched with wide eyes like a lowly voyeur with a fetish. Their movement stopped for a breath, I observed Yuki undoing the front of his pants. His rear mostly hidden by the long black jacket he wore. Absently, I holstered my gun and pet over my own ache, sighing at the contact.

"Wowzers," I heard myself mumble at the size of Yuki's cock. It was huge—not that I'm concerned about my size or anything. But still, a man did notice the size of another man's dick. No matter, I felt confident that my rocket was up to scale.

"Come on, fuck him," I heard myself whisper urgently.

Yuki thrust himself into Shuichi and I didn't even feel that I'd bitten my lower lip hard, hard enough that I tasted something coppery on my tongue. I grit my teeth in the same fashion Shuichi was, rubbing over my arousal, panting along with every feral thrust Yuki delivered to the pink haired singer. I could feel it, I'm on the verge...and I wanted it so badly!

Beyond the glass, Shuichi has his knees up to his chest, ass on display and his young face etched with pleasure. Ohh, don't stop Yuki, keep going for just a little longer, I thought impatiently. Just a little more, I'm so close! Libertine thoughts raged in my head and I thrust my hand down the front of my pants, my wrist snug against the tightness of my belt. It ached, but I had to touch myself, to feel the throbbing heat in my hand. Oh...yes! Here it is!

A strangled cry threatened to escape my lips, but I held it back as I released a jetting of hot fluid. Bliss! I slumped against the wall next to me, panting and riding my rush.

Oh gawd...

My senses returned, the cloud of lust swirled away, and realized what I had just done! A red heat washed over my ashamed face. Quickly, I scrambled up, forgetting about the crushed Styrofoam on the floor and high-tailed it out of there. Reminded of my treachery, I felt the uncomfortable wetness in my pants. Using my jacket to cover myself, I stabbed the elevator button in desperate hope to hurry it along. When the doors opened, I jumped in and slunk against the mirrored walls in the lift. Caught up in my shame, I allowed myself to view my reflection this time.

"What's the matter with you, idiot?!" I hissed to myself in the mirror. As if I expected an answer, I scoffed at the thirty-six year old watching me back.

I rushed out of the NG building, not even bothering to look at Bob and back into the downtown Tokyo night. Damn! I'm officially a peeping tom. An outright dirty pervert! I forgot all about my car and the stupid keys I'd returned to work to find. I inhaled the fresh air like it would cure me of my wickedness, gulping it down, trying to calm my heartbeat. I walked in no particular direction, I just needed to put some serious distance between me and NG and quickly.

But no amount of night air could quell the thoughts that roared in my mind. I just got off watching two men! Two men that were having sex! Two men that I knew and I'd just dishonoured their privacy. I immediately blamed my ex-wife, this was her fault! She was the one that cast me aside, thrusting divorce papers in his face a month ago. As much as I tried to put up a hard front, my insides were crumbling. The voices in my head, like devils, whispered haunting things, telling me that I'm just a has-been. I couldn't remember ever feeling so lost, alone...I'm just hard-up, trying to pacify my reasons for watching Yuki and Shuichi, I concluded.

Well you didn't need to watch them, just rent an x-rated movie, read a playboy or go to a strip joint for Christ sakes, my mind reasoned. I sighed. I am just a pervert. It wasn't Judy's fault I was a degenerate. I felt so tempted to start firing off my gun aimlessly—pot shots at any moving object. That always makes me feel better.

Instead I took out a cigarette; I lit it and inhaled gratuitously. Pursing my lips, I wondered if anyone noticed my deflated boisterous self lately. Probably not, I was just a manager after all, even though I made Bad Luck extremely popular. Still, I'm still just a sideline man. It was a tough job but I love it, it's what I am. I didn't miss working for Nittle Grasper's, Sakuma Ryuichi, who was seriously going be the making of my first grey hair I was sure. Thankfully, I have no grey hairs but I thought about it at the time. Ryuichi was definitely the epitome of young-hearted though. It was one of the things I loved about him, but he wasn't the challenge I craved anymore. Shuichi was. He has inner spirit unlike anyone I've worked for, it keeps me going. Now Bad Luck was a top-chart band, I felt proud for giving them the boost.

"Hey there honey," came a sultry feminine voice.

Blinking, I looked for the woman that interrupted my thoughts. I noticed a very sexy young girl, dolled up in striped stockings, booty shorts and a halter top—she was trying to 'work' me.

"No thanks," I muttered and looked around at my surroundings. Geez, what kind of area have I walked into? Obviously not paying attention, I wandered into a more seedy area of Tokyo. How fitting, I thought sarcastically, just the place a pervert like me deserved to be in, a red-light district. I hurried along, smiling cheekily at the hookers that waved their skinny little fingers at me.

"Love the hair, sweetie!" one called out.

Heh, yeah, I knew I was sort of standing out, being one of few non-Japanese people on the street.

"You look lost baby," said another in a sing-song tone.

"Ohh...you're packin', you aren't a cop are ya?" spoke a different girl nervously.

I shook my head 'no' and glanced around. Man, I had to get out of here! One of those chicks would probably squeal on me about my gun and real cops or the hooker's pimps would come after me. Heh, not that I couldn't defend myself, but I didn't think it would look very good for Bad Luck's manager to get arrested for fighting with pimps, nonetheless doing so in a red-light district.

I hauled open the nearest door to me and entered an establishment. I leaned against the door and sighed with relief to get away from the prostitutes outside. Phew...

"Good evening, my dear. Welcome to Violets," spoke a clear, prominent female voice.

I looked up and my eyes widened.

Before me was a tall, slim Japanese woman dressed impressively in a black and silver patterned kimono, hair done up in a strict braided knot. She had a pair of shiny black zori and black toe socks on her feet. My eyes travelled higher to her perfect pale face, accented with ruby red lips. I knew she wasn't a geisha, but it made me think of that at first. She had the most regal elderly face, I was deemed speechless for a moment.

She chuckled softly, "My, my, it would seem the wind simply swept you in."

Her eyes studied me, I felt a little uncomfortable...it was like she was looking into my mind. I huffed, that wouldn't be a very safe place for her to be right about now. "I...I think I walked into the wrong place...I apologize," I said and turned around to retreat.

But she grasped my arm.

I turned on her. "Hey, what do--?"

"—how do you know you weren't meant to stumble in here?" She'd cut me off with her question, letting go of my arm.

Huh? Here? What was here exactly? I let my eyes wander around the space, no one else was here and the place was quiet. It had a very cozy feel immediately, nothing to fret about. Soft, warm light came from decorative wall sconces which cast their glow off of velvety red wallpaper. To my left was a sitting room, lush with soft, white leather sofas, a white pile rug and a window that was covered with a heavy-laced curtain. The room was as red as the hallway in which we stood now. Opposed to the lady's traditional Japanese attire, this room was anything but traditional. It would have seemed I'd walked right into someone's home, only I knew the woman had said I'd walked into 'Violets', so, this had to be a place of business.

With a 'tsk', it began to dawn on me. "What is this place?" I demanded skeptically, reminded of the hookers outside.

"A place to find one's self," the woman answered simply.

Right, I'd walked into a freak house, just great. I groaned to myself. "Look, I should be going home, I have work in the morning," I told her.

"If you feel that's where you'll find the answers you seek, then so be it. But dare me to say that I don't think you stumbled in here for nothing...behind everything is a purpose," she claimed, standing there looking cool and calm.

"Right, sex for money, how much more simple does it get?" I replied haughtily, "I get it."

"If that's what you think this establishment is all about then perhaps it is better that you leave. But you seem like a person that could use a little adventure...enlightenment," she assured.

What?! Am I like a fucking opened book? "Look lady, I don't need your damn pity." Then she laughed. She was actually laughing at me! I frowned, "What's so funny?!"

She stopped laughing and wore a sympathetic face. "I can tell that this is very new to you, though I'm surprised, you seem like a very intelligent man. It's been awhile since I met a person that was clearly wet behind the ears, it's refreshing. The clients I'm used to are veterans, please forgive me. But what I offer here is a chance for you to find yourself, to explore a part of you that you, yourself never knew existed. A little role-play—not with me of course, with the others I hire to help...open your mind. I simply match the right person to them."

"Others?" I asked, until I realized I was encouraging her. "No…no, I don't want to know."

She forged ahead, "I'm curious. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?"

"Where do you get off—"

"Ever been tied up?"

"Err...no."

"Ever have a desire, a fantasy that you doubted you could ever fulfil?"

"Well…"

"Just needed to escape the harsh reality of the world, to share your pain with an anonymous voice? I can see it all over your face American," she declared, boldly stepping closer to me.

I backed up. She stepped closer.

"Even if that's all true, I don't think I need to be here." It made me feel weak. I didn't want to feel weak! I am NOT weak!

She gave a tiny scoff. "Why not give yourself a chance to decide if that's true or not? There is no shame in what we do," she told me, "Shame is for the ones that live life in fear of it."

I stared at her. Only a little while ago I was the one feeling the epitome of shame. Ashamed with myself for the reaction Shuichi and Yuki's romp made me feel, ashamed that I had enjoyed what I saw. I felt ashamed for so many things these days...

"I have someone, he's quite new but very altruistic. He hasn't found his place here yet, a person that meets his match. Perhaps he needs a challenge. I was wary about hiring him but something tells me—"

A guy?! "I'm NOT gay!" I screeched much to my own surprise. Blood flowed into my face, partly from anger and embarrassment. I bet the whole block just heard me, I sighed. The woman in front of me didn't even flinch at my outburst...I'm starting to feel like a tool.

"Who said anything about sex?" the woman said, perplexed. "It's up to you and him what happens...that is not the focus of what we do here. The focus is the fantasy."

"Fine…" I groaned. Oh no, I didn't! I can't believe I just agreed! I am a sick and twisted pervert.

The woman smiled and took my arm lovingly. She led me to the end of the sitting room to a dark, heavy wooden door. It had the words "Private" written on the front in kanji. There were butterflies in my stomach that I hadn't felt since I was in highschool delivering a speech about mitochondria for biology class. I really wasn't a scientific person...

I blushed again despite the hard exterior I tried to keep a hold on. I followed like a child, letting her lead me down a long, narrow flight of stairs, to another long hallway. But this hallway was anything but warm and inviting...it was dank and dark. Only one bare bulb burned in the middle, which was almost low enough to brush my hair. I cut around it, noticing the floor was barren poured cement. No lush carpets or tiling, just bare concrete like the walls too. And along the way there were six closed, black doors with painted white numbers.

We stopped at number five.

I felt a shiver run up my spine, I felt like I was in a dungeon. "Err...maybe I made a mistake," I uttered, the thoughts of fleeing coming on strong.

"Give it a chance," the woman soothed, "Dare to try something new."

I watched as she pulled out a black folded cloth out of her kimono.

"What's that for?" I wondered out loud.

"All new seekers must wear a blindfold," she explained.

Seekers? This was getting weirder and crazier by the second. Maybe they were gonna rip me open and steal my liver to sell on the black market. With doomsday on my mind, I let the woman tie the thing around my face. It smelled nice, like cherry blossoms or something...it's probably laced with poison that's going to knock me out in a few moments.

I think I truly have lost my mind...

"Now the rules are no touching, unless given permission. You will only speak when spoken to or suffer the consequences. And you will have to leave that gun with me," the woman said in a more demanding tone, holding out a tiny hand.

I raised my eyebrows in question behind the blindfold. I groaned but fished out my magnum, I handed it her. "I better get that back, you hear," I told her coolly.

"Of course…you are my guest. Welcome my name is, Violet," Violet said.

I sniffed at her revelation. I thought about giving her an alias but what was the point? "I'm, K." It was kind of an alias anyways.

She took my arm again and opened the creaking door. The first thing that found me was the smell of burning candles. Surprisingly, it felt warm in the room. I expected it to be cold and unyielding as the hallway with doors. Blindly, I let myself be led in and told to sit.

I sat. My hands felt an old wooden chair beneath me.

"Remember the rules. I'll be listening, see you in an hour," I heard Violet say and listened to her shuffle out and close the door.

Behind the blindfold my eyes darted about, instinctively trying to find my bearings. It didn't help that the tinge of trepidation was crawling under my skin like ants. I couldn't see a damn thing! It was useless. Then in the empty thrum of silence, I heard a scuff of movement. My heart leapt! I quickly darted my head in the direction of the sound. I sensed I wasn't alone...

"You…"

"Who's there?" I breathed out uneasily.

There was a long, agonizing pause before I heard movement again. The hollow sound of heavy boots moved towards me, actually from behind I realized and felt a prickly heat on the back on my neck. I felt like I was in an interrogation room, ready to be questioned and tortured by ninjas. Don't be silly Claude, I demanded of myself.

Finally a new sound filled the room, the jingle like that of a belt buckle. Unexpectedly, something was tightened across my chest, tying me to the chair. I tried to stand anyways, but the chair wasn't budging, it was set firmly to the floor.

"Hey!" I cried.

"You are speaking out of turn; didn't you listen to the rules?" ordered a male voice. "Now don't struggle against the restraints or I'll have to punish you."

Wha?? Punishment? No one mentioned anything about punishment. Eyebrows stitched with speculation, I realized the voice I was hearing was muffled as if it were hidden behind a mask.

"Wow, this could be fun. You're on my turf now. I can and will punish you if you require it," promised the guy in a tone that sounded almost...amused.

I blinked quickly at that. Oh lord, what the hell have I just walked into...?