Of Love –
And hate –
And something in between.
Disclaimer: I own Nothing
.x:wishes:x.
They both wish that things could be different.
She wishes that she could love him; that would solve a lot of problems. She's no longer hung up on Sasuke, but she can't. Naruto is probably her best friend – more than that. He's her comrade, in every meaning of the word. He knows her best, her worst, and everything in between – and still loves her.
But there's nothing worse than having your best friend crushing on you.
He wishes that he could be satisfied with their friendship. The banter, the silences, the moments where everything is just perfect, and made more so by her being there. He wishes that he could stop having these feelings for her – he loves her, platonically and otherwise.
The otherwise just so happened to make everything so damned hard, because she loved him like a friend, like a brother, and otherwise was completely out of the question.
There's nothing worse than being hopelessly in love with your best friend.
.
.
.
Sometimes she loves him.
It's not when he's playing the hero, or showing off (though the latter is endearing, she'll give it that), or when he's helping her pick up the pieces. It's not when he throws sunny grins her way.
It's when he thinks she's not looking. It's when he's showing off to the kids of the village (who all idolize him for some reason.) It's when he throws those sunny grins to complete strangers and is messing around with Kiba or Sai.
But it's in his quiet moments when she really thinks she does. She really does.
It's when he's being himself that she can feel something well up inside her – something that is torn between bursting into tears and hugging Naruto for all he's worth.
.
.
.
At times he wishes he could hate her.
He can't though – she's Sakura and he's Naruto and hate just isn't what they are. But sometimes, he thinks he does.
He doesn't hate her when they're coming back from a mission and she's covered in grime and bad tempered and I'll get ramen, sure, after my shower. And no, it's not a date. He doesn't hate her when a mission goes badly and he can see how badly she wants to cry at the loss of a teammate but doesn't.
He doesn't hate her when she cries on his shoulder when no one else is around.
No, he hates her when she's there for him. When she offers to buy him ramen from Ichiraku, or when she finds him on Hokage monument when the world gets to him too much and he's thoroughly depressed and she knows not to say anything, just to take him in her arms and drive out the monsters inside him. It's a split second of hate – maybe not even hate, just a disgust. With her, with him, with the world.
Oh, he wants thing to be different.
He wants to be able to hold her when she's not breaking down.
When she's happy.
He wants to have her smile at him.
He wants her to say 'yes' when he asks her out.
And he wants her to take him seriously.
He wants her to see him for what he really is.
And most of all, he wants to stop wanting these things.
.
.
.
Often she wishes that she could hate him.
If she could hate him, then she would have the guts to shoot him down, stomp on his feelings, and be able to look him in the eye the next day.
But she can't.
Won't.
She'd never. She has it in her to hate him, though. In his rare moments of maturity, she's disgusted with them both. Him for being so hopeless and herself for being a coward and letting him have that hope.
.
.
.
She seldom wishes he could hate her.
It wouldn't be ideal, but I'd be better for the both of them. He wouldn't be…she could be…more cruel. She responds better to hate – it's easier to snarl and insult than to accept a compliment with grace. And Naruto seemed to think that she was perfection personified.
He didn't, though. He knew she wasn't perfect. He knew that she knew she wasn't perfect. But her imperfections made her just right – and he'd treat her right.
She wishes things could be different.
She wants him to be less intense.
She wants him to stop being perfect, because then she'd have a chance to really appreciate him.
She wants him to stop being so nice, because then she could stop seeing him as a damned brother.
But mostly, she wants him to stay the same forever and promise not to change.
.
.
.
And all the time, he wishes she could love him.
Because being in love with your best friend sucked.
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This didn't seem to fit into This Maddening Game of Dancing, (slightly too grim)so this is yet another angsty oneshot for Naruto and Sakura. I may add to it later – not too sure.
I can almost sympathize with Sakura on this one – when someone you consider a friend decides to like you…fangirls, it isn't as fun as it sounds (though I'm guilty of liking the childhood friend trope.)
As always, let me know your thoughts.