I roll onto my side, draping my arm over my lover's shoulder. I nuzzle my face into the back of his neck and inhale the scent of his hair. I run my hand down his side and rest it on his hip, squeezing gently. He jerks slightly and gives a small laugh. I smile at this and squeeze a few more times. His hips begin to buck to try and get away from my grip, and my lover starts laughing uncontrollably. "Ville! Ville, quit it!" He shouts, rolling onto his side to face me.

I smile and kiss his lips, removing my hands from his hips and replacing them on the back of his head, pulling his face in closer to deepen our kiss. I run my tongue slowly over his bottom lip and roll onto my back, pulling him on top of me. He sighs and places his hands on either side of my head, lifting himself off of me. Our kiss breaks and we stare into each other's eyes for awhile, just thinking. At least, that's what I'm doing, I don't know about him, he doesn't think much.

"Bam..." I say, my accent thick. Sometimes I hate my accent, because people are always mocking me, especially my lover's friends, but on this occasion, I love being foreign. I can visually see Bam getting the shivers and the goosebumps rising on his skin, just because of the way I say his name. I smile and lean upward, whispering in his ear. "I love you, Brandon, you know that? You're everything to me... I never want to be without you." He shudders and moans quietly in my ear.

"Ville... shut up." He whispers harshly, quickly standing up and walking into his bathroom on the other side of the room. I smile and lay back down, placing my hands behind my head. I close my eyes and think to myself how wonderful life is going for me. It's been about two years now since Brandon and I have gotten together. I remember it like it was yesterday...

"Ville! Ville, come out here!" Brandon was calling from outside. It was a hot day in the middle of July and I was perfectly content with staying inside and writing my poetry or my lyrics. I hated hot weather, I preferred the weather in Finland over just about anywhere, but my bandmates and I decided that since we weren't going to be doing anything over the summer except making a new CD, we would visit our good friends in Pennsylvania, as we usually did. I looked outside and my friend was waving his arms frantically at me. I shook my head and continued to write my poetry, but then I heard the door open and I was suddenly pulled off the couch and picked up.

"Bam! Bam, put me down!"

"No way, man! You're joining our pool party whether you like it or not!" He laughed and my eyes widened. I was in leather pants and a cotton T-shirt, which are bound to shrink in water, obviously. I fought and struggled all the way to the door until I finally managed to hit him square in the back, making him drop me. "What the hell, man?"

"Look, Bam..." I said quietly, brushing myself off. "There are many reasons why I don't want to go out there. One, I really dislike hot weather. Two, I'm in leather and cotton. Three... your friends don't like me." I looked away from him at the last comment. It always had hurt me that his friends treated me like they did. I know that they treated each other in those ways, but... I wasn't like them. Things had happened to me in the past so I was uncomfortable with most of the things they did. A hand rested on my shoulder and I looked back to my friend, who was smiling like an idiot at me.

"Okay, man... listen, if you're in the pool, you won't be hot. I promise. You can borrow a pair of my swim trunks, although they might be a little big on you... and you know what? Screw my friends. Ignore them, I'll make sure they don't hurt you, okay?" He hugged me and rubbed my back, which surprised me, even though me and Bam had always been very close. "What do you say?" He asked after letting me go.

I sighed in defeat. "I guess I really don't have a choice." He then lead me up to his room and threw a pair of black and green swim trunks at me. He told me that I could change in his bathroom and that he would be down in the pool. I nodded and walked into the bathroom. Once I had changed I looked in the mirror for a moment and for the first time actually saw realized how skinny I was. Bam's trunks were, in fact, quite baggy on me. Though, this wasn't entirely a bad thing, because they hung down low enough to show off my tattoo and that sexy little 'V' thing at the bottom of my stomach. I smiled, satisfied with my sickly appearence and walked down to the kitchen.

"Ville!" Bam's mother yelled at me before I got outside.

"Yes, Mrs. Margera?" I had always called her that, never April, or Ape like most people did. I was very polite, and still am to this day.

"Oh, please, call me April, Ville." She told me this quite often, and I always just smiled and continued to call her Mrs. Margera. "You're skin and bone, Vil! Why don't you eat something"

"Really, Mrs. Margera, I'm fine." I smiled and walked out to the pool, and everyone seemed to turn their attention toward me, mainly Bam, who walked over and whispered in my ear.

"Dude, you're fucking ripped. Sorry about my trunks being so ridiculously huge." He laughed and ran back to the pool, jumping on top of Johnny, one of his few friends who was fairly nice to me. Everyone focused their attention to them, so I took that opportunity to get in the pool. I started talking to Mige, who was the one person I trusted, besides Bam.

"Hey, Vil. Glad you finally joined us. What were you doing in there?" He smiled at me and splashed water in my face.

I shook my head and laughed. "Writing, what else is new? Listen, Mige... I have a question"

"Shoot"

"Do you know if Bam is... is..." I whispered the last part in his ear. "Homosexual"

"I'm not sure, Vil. I think he might be bi, if anything, but I'm not sure. Why do you ask"

"No reason, it isn't like he'd like me anyway..." I looked down at my ill-looking body, sighing.

"Why not, man? I don't see anything wrong with you, 'cept maybe you need to eat more." He laughed.
I laughed back.

"I wish that these people would leave..." I grumbled. "I'm gonna go tan or something." I lifted myself out of the pool and walked over to a chair, which I laid myself out in. I was almost completely relaxed, when I was flipped out of the chair, onto the cement. I hissed in pain and looked at my bony knees, both were skinned and bleeding. I looked up and saw Dunn and Rake standing over me. I stood back up and brushed myself off, and taking my own mother's words, walked away, but things are different in America than they are in Finland. In America, people follow you. Rake grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. He started calling me all these rascist names and making fun of my accent. Dunn had walked away, I think he just wanted to play a little joke on me, but Rake was taking it a step farther. I tried to get out of his grip and just ignore his insults, but he just tightened his hand around my shoulder, pinching a nerve. I hissed and almost fell, but I somehow stayed standing. I remember one thing he said, because it was the only thing that got me mad enough to react.

"Bam wouldn't like some stupid fucking foreign punk-ass anorexic bitch like you anyway"

Something inside me blew up and I broke free, shoving him away from me. I went to hit him again, but he grabbed my hair, turned my head and punched me right in the nose, sending me flying into the pool. Luckily I didn't land on anyone. When I came back up, there were people surrounding me and I felt my face. When I looked at my hand it was covered in blood, so I quickly got out of the pool and walked inside. April helped me by giving me a towel and Kleenex, having me sit on her kitchen counter so she could help me if I needed it. I kept my head tilted back and awhile later, Bam walked in. I saw concern and fear in his eyes and I smiled at him. "I'm okay, Brandon"

He sighed and punched the counter, directly above my head, which made me flinch. "Sorry... it's just... I don't know why he had to do that. Rake's an ass, and I'm sorry about him... you okay"

"I told you already, Brandon, I'm fine." I removed the Kleenex from my nose and Bam gasped. They were covered in blood, but the bleeding had since stopped. I sat up and cleaned myself off, then looked outside. A few of Bam's friends were still out there. "You better get out there with your friends, Brandon." I said quietly.

He smiled at me and wrapped his arms around me. "Nah, I'm in here with my best friend, I don't think they'll mind"

His words warmed my heart and I smiled back at him. "You sure"
"Oh yeah... but... I'd really like you to come back out there... Rake's gone, so"
I just shoved him toward the door and laughed, walking outside. When Ryan saw me he ran up to me and I instinctively covered my face with my arms. "Calm down, man, I just wanted to apologize... I didn't mean for anything to go that far"

"I know. It's okay" He then ran back and Johnny came running up to me. Again, I flinched when he stopped, but he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, man, let me see your nose. Did he break it? Man, you went flying! What'd he say? What made you get so mad at him? He got a good hit on you. Dude, I think it's bro- nope, not broken, nevermind. But really man, tell me what happened!" I drew myself back and Bam just shoved Johnny away.

"He can be a bit overwhelming sometimes..." Brandon smiled and leaned into my ear. "You want me to send them all home? I want to talk to you"

I shrugged and walked over to the pool, slowly dipping myself in. I saw Bam walk around the pool and everyone started to get out, including my bandmates. When everyone was gone, Bam walked over to me, smiling. The pool lights came on, I guess they're timed. But that was good, because it was now about 8:00 at night and it was getting dark. When Brandon got to me he laughed slightly, put his hands behind my head, running his fingers through my hair and kissed my full on the lips. My eyes darted open, but then I took the opportunity to show him how I felt and I slipped my tongue into his mouth, taking him offguard and he moaned into my mouth. When the kiss broke he looked at me and smiled.

"Ville, I think I love you"

"That's convneient, because I've known I love you for almost two years now."

I sigh and open my eyes. Brandon is still in the bathroom, which makes me nervous. I walk over to the door and knock quietly. "Brandon... you okay?" I get no response, so I knock again. "Bam..." I open the door and see him sitting on the counter, holding his wrist. I see a razor sitting next to him with blood still fresh on it, splattered on the counter. The sink is also bloody and I panic. I immediately stand in front of my love and run my hands through his hair, I make him look at me and when I see his eyes, swollen and bloodshot, tears streaming down his face, I feel the worst heartbreak and worry I've ever felt before. I begin kissing him all over his face, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his lips. "Bam, are you okay? Baby... talk to me." I whisper, holding him close to me. He lets go of his wrist and throws his arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. I rock him back and forth, whispering to him that he'll be okay. I sit him back up on the counter and look him in the eyes. "Bam... why did you do this?" I ask desperately.

He begins to shake and runs his hand through his hair, his lips trembling and tears still flowing from his eyes. "I... I d-don't... kn-kn-know.." He says between sobs. I take his wrist in my hand and flip it over, seeing three long cuts across his arm. I look him in the eyes again and he starts bawling again, burying his face in my neck. "I just.. f-feel wor-worthless"

"Oh, Bam..." I whisper, clutching his hair. "Did I not just tell you earlier that you're my everything? That I never wanted to be without you? How could you feel worthless"

"I just... I d-don't know." He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and takes a deep breath. "It's not you that m-makes me feel like th-this.. it's moreso... my dad"

My eyes go wide and I kiss his forehead. "Why, Brandon"

"I d-don't know... it's just... he.. he acts l-like he hates wh-who I am... ya know?"

"Believe me, I know exactly what you mean, but you can't let him rule over you. Can't let him control your life like this..." I sit on the counter with him and pull him onto my lap, and he leans his head against my shoulder, closing his eyes. I smile and reach into the cupboard, pulling out gauze, medical wrap and medical tape, along with peroxide. I pour the peroxide on the gauze pad and dab it against his wounds, making him hiss. I softly blow on the cuts to ease the sting and wrap the medical wrap around his wrist, I rip the wrap with my teeth and place a piece of medical tape over it to keep it in place. Bam starts to cry again and I wipe away the tears from his eyes. "Babe... what's wrong?" I whisper.

"I never thought that I'd ever have someone around to take care of me..." He says back. I smile and kiss him softly, lightly nipping at his bottom lip. He places his hands around my neck and kisses me back slowly, lovingly. It is now that I realize that since we have gotten together, surprisingly we haven't had sex. I'd love to change that, but I know that my Brandon is a virgin. I would hate to hurt him, but at the same time I know that it's an inevitable pain. I break our kiss and look him in the eyes, trying to think of a way to ask him. I decide to just come out with it.

"Bam..." He nods, telling me to go on. "Have you noticed... that... after two years of being together, we haven't had sex"

He laughs. "It's a pretty difficult thing not to notice, hm"

I shrug. "I guess you're right"

There was a pause. We both felt strange, I could tell. Brandon had to feel exceptionally awkward and scared, whether he would admit it or not. "Did you..." He breaks the silence. "Want to... change that?" He rubs his hands together and licks his lips nervously. I smile and rub his shoulders reassuringly.

"Only if you're ready, darling." He looks away for a little bit, then looks back at me. He smiles and nods. I smile back and kiss his softly, placing my fingers under his chin. I stand up, wrapping his arms and legs around me. I carry him back out of the bathroom and over to our bed, where I slowly lay him down and slip my hands under his shirt, lightly scratching his chest. He sighs and runs his hands under my shirt, rubbing my shoulders and back. I smile down at him and remove his shirt, and begin to pull down his pajama pants, revealing his growing erection. I lick my lips and lean down, kissing the tip.

My love gasps for air at the new sensation, he grabs two handfuls of my hair and tries to push me down farther, begging me to take all of him. I resist and continue to tease him, licking up his length dangerously slow. He whimpers and bites his lip, moaning my name. I bend his legs and spread them slightly farther apart, he looks down at me, more than likely questioning my motives. I slowly slip a finger into his entrance and he gasps for breath and moans my name over and over. I slip in another finger and probe until my love nearly screams, I smirk, knowing I'd found his prostate. I put slightly more pressure on it and he moans loudly, arching his back. "Oh God... Ville... baby... please"

I move myself up to him and kiss his neck, nipping at the soft skin. I always have loved to bite people, it's sort of a trademark, but with this bite, there would be much more. Much, much more meaning. Biting down harder, I hear Bam moan and rub his hips against mine in a type of plea. Although resisting him is very difficult, I put my hands on his hips and shove them downward, sending him a very strict 'no'. He whimpers in my ear and I shudder. Damn him for knowing my weakness! But I don't give in, I continue to hold him down and nip at his neck, sucking on it to assist the blood in reaching the surface of his skin. I pull away and see a large forming reddish-purple mark right over his jugular vein and smirk to myself. I'll get back to that in a minute. And then I stand up, which makes him whimper and he begins to nervously twitch, watching me as I remove my shirt and pants. He groans, practically growls, my name and arches his head back. He begs me to take him, but I refuse. Why? I really don't know. I crawl on top of him once more and nip at his neck, making him gasp. The spot must be getting tender. I smirk, pull away and look him in the eyes. "You really want to be mine"

"Yes babe... forever"

"You mean that"

"Yes." He moans.

I nod, then lean back down, licking along the tender area of flesh. I rub the tip of my cock against his entrance and he closes his eyes tightly. I kiss him softly. "I'll try to make it as painless as possible." I whisper. It isn't like I was going to lie to him and say it wouldn't hurt.

I slowly slip my cock into him, though not all the way. I let him get used to the feeling before I break his barrier. He purses his lips, but nods. "Just do it fast... like ripping off a bandaid." I see tears welling in his eyes. He's scared... and I don't want to hurt him and scare him away from sex... but I want to abide by his wishes. I decide to listen to him, and I thrust myself as hard as I can into him, biting into his neck. Blood runs out of his neck like a river into my mouth, and I swallow it as I begin to thrust hard and fast in and out of my lover, making him scream my name.

I lift my head and look at his face for a moment. It's twisted in pain and pleasure, tears running down his face. I feel horrible, but wonderful all at once and I want to know if he feels the same. I quickly scratch my hands down his back and I feel him cum, the white liquid covering both of our abdomens, and I cum inside of him, making him gasp and throw his head back. I roll off of him and we both breathe deeply, trying desperately to catch our breath.

After a few moments, I feel him lay his head on my chest. I open my eyes that I didn't even notice were closed and look down at his,and my, body. We're both covered in each other's sweat, cum, and Bam's blood. His wound rests on my chest and he hisses, my sweat probably stinging him.

I roll onto my side and he nuzzles his face into my chest, still breathing heavily. "I... I love you... Ville"

I laugh slightly at his shortness of breath. "And I love you too, my Bam." We both fall asleep as I softly run my fingers over his wound.