Chapter 1

Extremely Hot. Just extremely hot. That patch of onyx hair that never stay in one angle, and he sure as hell must give up after trying to tame his bangs. That slightly heavily toned chest and those broad shoulders. And that goofy lopsided grin that makes me melt by just the bare sight of him. And don't even get me started on those eyes. A vibrant shade of sapphire and blue topaz which is the state gem of the US state of Texas. Those eyes that just see through your very sou... Okay, back up. Gawking is not good for my image or my health.

I'm sure that you must be wondering what the heck I just described in the first paragraph that describes the year of my humiliation and retaliation. Well to start this, I just want to say that in a sea of students swarming in the cafeteria of Casper High. I am the one that has a table all for herself. No I am not that loner who is picking his nose, I am the one all in black and the one who is tucked securely by the garbage can. Away from the wandering eyes of the perverted boys and stuck up cheerleaders.

Lets just forget the fact that I didn't introduce myself. Well that is because I don't want you to find out. Because trust me, it will not end nicely. I sometimes question myself, 'why am I even putting an effort in trying to tell my story, it's not that anyone would listen or care to let me explain myself'.

But the fact that I didn't tell you my name doesn't say that I couldn't at least describe my image. I am a goth. But the contradictions to that statement are;

1) I talk too much for a goth.

2) I am too cheery for a goth.

3) My thoughts and rituals are different for a goth.

4) My beliefs are quite different from those of a goth, meaning I don't go off screaming 'Bloody Murder' whenever I see something colorful like pink or other such shit. And before you say something, I don't smoke or screw off with deep shit. I like my solitude and believe me when I say this, I haven't gone on a single date since my 2nd grade prom with the boy who I had a crush on.

5) My song choice is different from most Goths.

6) My movie preferences are different from a Goth's.

7) I have been crying too much for a goth.

8) And my thoughts regarding a certain blue-eyed boy is irking to pass me as one of those preppy blonde bimboes. Except that my hair are ebony colored. And especially the fact that I am still gawking at said boy who is sitting a few tables away from me.

Oh look, he took the sixth bite of his sandwich, maybe it was seventh, but I considered that one as a nibble. And yes that sounds creepy, but I've had a crush on him for 10 years, and 11 if you count the Valentine date in 2nd grade. Yes, he was my first and last date. And afterwards, I just adopted my goth image and I just let go to trying to keep tabs on boys hitting on me. And eventually everyone left me alone.

Except for that Paulina, she sticks to me like a leech. Trying real hard to break me by saying shit to me all the time. But you know what they say, 'Sticks and Stones may break my bones. But words will not cripple my unstable and heavily dependent level of self-worth'. So I tend to ignore, but that just flares up her ego.

For those who don't know her, lets just say that you're not missing out much. But if you are a shallow, low life guy who chases skirts for a living. Then I will summarize her appearance for you. A girl will dark brown hair that could almost pass as black. With tanned skin and teal blue eyes. And a self esteemed smirk on her face. A Latino.

What? I told you that I left trying to fit in years ago. So what did you expect me to tell you!

Anyway, back on the topic of my life. I wouldn't call myself a goth, a full goth, as people tend to call me 'the Goth Bird of Happiness'. And my wardrobe has some colors in it that does not include black or grey or such other morbid colors. But I still don't wear that pathetic excuse of a camisole my Mom made me wear for dinner. I don't do pink, but that doesn't stop her from trying.

I add purple, green, cream and sometimes, Okay many times, blue to my choice of clothing. That helps my Mom and Dad to stay off my back for 15 minutes. Enough time for me to escape that hell hole.

I took a bite of my salad and looked up to see that table number 4's denizens were glaring at me. The band geeks. But weren't the dudes from table number 13 going to glare first, then these guys. Well they beat them to it. This goes on for a whole agonizing half hour of lunch break. And it didn't help that I was so much ignored through out my life that I became accustomed to being invisible. But then the sudden popularity that was given to me in my senior year. The attention was negative and it killed.

I looked at my long time crush, well long time being the key word because I've had a crush on him since the moment he passed me the ball in kindergarten. Yup, I had it bad.

He was smiling that crooked grin of his at some joke his friend told him. I looked to his left and saw the techno-geek Foley. The best friend of my crush, Danny Fenton. Foley was, in general eccentric. He was a meat lover, and he inhaled food and downed it like he would drink water. I wrinkled my nose at an image that popped in my head. I might not be full goth, but I was an ultra recyclo vegetarian, who is a human activist and head of the animal rights department, and I despise, no, loathe people who kill poor animals for their own selfish reasons.

And I was not judging the poor guy. He might be a real funny guy who was kind at heart, whose family might be supporting an orphanage or something. He might be into charities, but eating meat like that is just wrong and gross.

Just then Danny looked up from his meal and glanced at me, I was petrified. I wasn't one of those girls who spied their crushes and kept a distance of ten to twenty feet between themselves and their crushes, and stammered and blushed when they were suddenly talking to them. But the way he looked me in the eye and then lowered his head guiltily, well that just made me sure of the fact that the rumors were still intact with him, and it surprised me also that people were silent, and had been for a few weeks. But they were warming up, because this is high school. Gossiping is like a disease in these places.

But when he looked up suddenly and smile softly at me. Well it gave me hope that he still trusted and believed in me. I tried to smile while looking him in the eye, but my eyes were stinging with the impact his smile put on me, and I lowered my head but smiled nonetheless. The tears were coming and I had to get out of here.

Once people found out that my walls were down and I was vulnerable, then I was sure that they would attack with full force. I blinked and used my forefinger to wipe the tears from the rims of my eyes. He saw that and looked at me worriedly, I shrugged as I saw his concern, telling him that I was fine. It was always silent messages like these between us and I was more than happy that he still trusted me.

He slowly looked away, his frown deepening as he looked away. It pained me, but my further thoughts escaped me when a spitball landed in my hair. Again. Seriously?! Spitballs?! In the cafeteria!? The only thing that happened here was a food fight. And I was more than tempted to through my salad dressing at the bastard who did this. But I calmed. At least it wasn't gum. I picked out the ball and I wanted to hurl.

That meant that I was skipping next period for a nice shower in the girls locker room. Surely the teacher will understand. But then I think that the teachers had been ignoring me also.

I remembered the time a wad of gum was thrown in my hair. Mr. Falooka gave that kid detention for about two weeks. It wasn't because that kid messed up. But he had messed up with Mr. Falooka's favorite student. Now I was just another trouble maker for him, and he ignored me in the best. That time I had gotten half of my head shaved and turned up to school looking like a version of Cher Loyd.

That was a nice memory. But now was not the time to go reminiscing about the past. I was here now and I had some asshole's sweat beaded in my hair. I finished my salad and picked up stuff and ran. I was sure that Danny's eyes were following me. And they were.

So are you sure you want to know what happened. I mean, I put a fucking bastard in jail for what he did. So, are up for it?

My new story, I thought of it after watching 'Easy A'. I am messed up. I have been posting chapter after chapter, and I don't give a damn about completing even one?! How will I do this. So people help me by giving more and better reviews.

I mean those who have followed and favorited me and my stories, at least those people should post a review. It helps us to continue.

Also I need a beta.

And the person who usually helps me is AWOL. Yes, I am talking about you Sonochu. Where are you?

Love,

Red