What if Alice never saw Bella jump in New Moon and never come to see her? What if Bella decided to tell Jacob the truth about everything and tries to move on with him? Will he finally imprint on her or can he? What happens if she does fall in love with Jacob and Edward finally returns? What will she do? Or more importantly, who will she choose? This is kind of AU and OOC but I'm going to try really hard to keep it in character as much as possible.

I do not own Twilight or anything of the characters in Twilight because it all belongs to the wonderfully amazing SM, but trust me if I did I'd never let anyone play with them…

A/N: This chapter starts in New Moon after Jacob drives Bella home after she almost drowns while they are still in Bella's truck in her driveway. Alice never saw her jump so she doesn't come and Edward doesn't know a thing. This story is for Team Jacob!

Oh before I begin I wanna give props to my best friend and amazing grammar/syntax nazi!betta, Simply Kelp. You rock girl!

Without further a due I present to you MY PERSONAL SUN.

Chapter one: Maybe more than just a Safe Harbor…

Excerpt from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder... I knew without any doubt what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life? Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought of turning my head.

And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear.

"Be happy," he told me.

I froze.

Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door.

As I saw his hand on the handle about to open it I felt this pang in my stomach that told me I couldn't let him leave.

"Jake…" I whispered softly. I heard the slight tremble in my voice from the tears I felt welling up in my eyes but I hoped he didn't.

He turned back around and I could see the concern for me in his deep eyes. I couldn't hold the tears back anymore; I felt them spill over and slide down my cheeks.

"Aw. Bella, honey I'm sorry. It's ok, shhh…" he cooed. He was trying to calm me, but it just made me feel worse. He felt sorry because he thought he hurt me!

"No, Jake! It's not ok! I've been a terrible person and an even worse friend! I've hurt you and led you on so badly! I'm so sorry, so very sorry! I was being so selfish but I just can't seem to let him go and this seemed like the only way to keep him and-"

He cut me off before I could finish. "Wait, what?! What are you talking about? Are you trying to tell me that you were trying to kill yourself over… over HIM!?" As he started to speak a tremor slid down his spine and over his entire body.

"What?" I asked. The tears seemed to stop to allow me to see him better. I stared at him for a second in utter confusion and panic. "No. No, Jake! I told you before that I wasn't trying to kill myself and I meant it."

He closed his eyes after seeing the panic in mine. He took a deep breath that seemed to calm himself down and stopped the tremors. "Then what are you talking about? And what does he have to do with you jumping off the cliff, other than you trying to kill yourself which you say you weren't?"

"I… ummm…. Jake…I-I don't know how to explain." I started to stutter. I debated whether or not to lie but then I remembered that if I wanted him to stay and wanted to be with him I'd have to tell him the truth. So I turned and looked out the windshield. The tears welled up and spilled over again as I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. As soon as I did everything just came pouring out in a rush and I didn't even have time to censor what I was saying.

"Aw, Jake! It was all about him, it always was. The night in Port Angeles, the motorcycles, the cliff diving, and even the hiking trips in search of the meadow. It was the only way to keep him. Before he left he made me promise not to do anything stupid or reckless but I found when I did do things that were stupid and reckless I could hear him like he was standing right behind me with perfect clarity and I wouldn't hurt. And… and…" I started sobbing, "I'm… so… sorry," I said between sniffles.

It took me a few minutes to calm my sobs to just sniffles. That's when I realized he hadn't said a word or moved since I had started talking. I looked over at him and immediately wished I hadn't. His face was blank; no mask, no emotions at all but his eyes said it all: hurt, betrayal, anger, jealousy, rage. But mostly pain. I looked away quickly; I pulled my legs against my chest, wrapped my arms around them and buried my face into them to stifle my escalating sobs.

We didn't speak for several moments as we processed everything. The only sounds came from my sobbing. When Jacob finally spoke I was shocked. His voice was not mad or angry like I had expected it to be; it was low and ruff but I still heard the deep sadness and hurt that he tried to cover up. "So… all of it, all of our time together, everything we did, every moment was… for him."

I finally looked up at him after he had finished; what I saw scared me more than Victoria finding me; his face was riddled with pain and anguish. When he saw my eyes, he turned and opened the door. Before he could get out I threw myself at him and locked my hands around his wrist.

"No! Please Jacob! Please I need you." When he heard my reminder of his promise he turned back to face me with the door still open. The pain was still on his face as he looked at mine and into my eyes. I knew my emotions were written all over my face: pain, shock, horror, but mostly fear. And I was afraid. I was afraid that he would leave me; just like Edward. He searched my eyes for a moment and then shut the door, his eyes never leaving mine.

I knew I had to say something; I knew I owed him the truth. "No Jacob, it wasn't all about him," I whispered. His eyes told me to keep going, "At first, with the motorcycles it was about him and getting to hear him again, but I stayed because of you. I found that, even after the first day, I couldn't leave you; like you had some pull on me. I found myself feeling better and after spending the day with you, I could actually sleep at night." I paused for a few minutes and he waited patiently. Honesty I thought. You owe him the whole truth. You need to tell explain everything to him and then let him decide.

"Jacob, I love him and I don't know if I'll ever get over him… Jake, you know I'm broken and in pieces with some missing, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be fixable but… but if you still want me, I'm yours. You can have all of me that's left, every last piece… But if you don't, I'll understand. You are so amazing Jacob and you deserve so much more, so much better. You deserve someone whose whole and can give them self to you wholly, and I can't but I'm willing to give you everything I have left. Jake, I love him and I'm not sure if I'll ever stop. But I want to try, if you'll help me."

With that, I reached up and pressed my lips to his with as much passion as I could. He kissed me back for a second before stopping. He pulled away from me. His eyes were still closed when he spoke. "Bella, I love you but I don't think you're ready for-" He suddenly stopped speaking when he opened his eyes and looked at me. His face was suddenly devoid of all emotions except for shock and awe. His mouth fell open a little and his eyes widened. There was a look in them that I couldn't understand.

"Jake? Jacob? Are you ok? I'm sorry I-" This time it was my turn to suddenly stop speaking as I realized what the look in his eyes was. He was looking at me like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the first time…

A/N: ok, yes I know she doesn't know what imprinting is yet and he hasn't used that oh so clever analogy yet but as I was writing this I just could resist. I was gonna have him imprint on her anyways. And I couldn't resist using it; it was too perfect. So for the purposes of this story she does already know and he has used it. Sorry if you don't like it.

Please, please, please review! This is my first FanFic and I wanna know how I did. Tell me the truth, even if you hate it! The next chapter is gonna be set in the future, but not too far ahead. I promise to get it out ASAP, but I'm a college student about to enter dead week and then finals, then I have to move, but it will be ASAP I swear!