Chapter one
It was another bad day at the SGC as far as General Jack O'Neill was concerned. Well, not just another bad day, but more like a really, really bad day. On a scale of one to ten, it was a twelve or maybe even a twenty-nine.
Oh, he had heard all the advice from the experts on having a positive attitude. He'd even heard it from the base shrink on a few occasions...just not since he had become THE MAN. Jack didn't have to listen to that bull shit anymore, because he was the man!
It wasn't that Jack didn't believe what they told him about the benefits of having a positive attitude. It was just that, to his way of thinking, he DID have a positive attitude! And he was absolutely fuckin POSITIVE that this day was going to be the worst ever! And he was correct!
It all began early that morning when Lt. Col. Samantha Carter showed up unannounced in his office doorway. Well, actually she always showed up unannounced, them having been friends and co-workers for the better part of seven years. But on this occasion, Jack wished he'd had some kind of warning that she was coming, because what she had come to tell him nearly caused that stroke he had been anticipating for so long.
"Sir, may I speak with you about a private matter?" she asked, her hand on the door knob. Sam really hated being here right now, but she had no choice. No matter how awkward this was for both of them, he was still her commanding officer and therefore the one person she had to tell.
"Sure, Colonel. Come on in." He could see the worried expression on her face, and he immediately knew he was in for some bad news. Anything that upset her, the woman he loved more than life itself, was bound to affect him in a very bad way.
Sam stepped further into the room, pushing the door closed behind her. Then she stood there, leaning against it for a couple of beats before stepping over and sitting in one of the two visitors' chairs in front of his desk. Jack slid his chair closer to the desk and waited for her to speak, his hands uncharacteristically folded and still on the blotter in front of him. His dark eyes were fastened on her down-turned face.
He noticed she seemed to be having trouble meeting his eyes, which was a dead give-away that what she had to tell him would not be something he wanted to hear. So without realizing it, Jack held his breath.
"Sir, you know I accepted Pete's engagement ring," she stated and Jack simply nodded. Now he was really beginning to dread where this was going.
"Well, we've set a date."
Jack was not too surprised by this. After all, that's what people generally did after they became engaged. But he sensed there was much more, and it was the much more part that was making him nervous. Surely she wasn't going to ask him to be in the wedding party! Again Jack just nodded his head up and down, like one of those Bobble Heads, and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Sir, we've decided to get married right away. You see...I'm pregnant. Janet just confirmed it." Sam watched as a Jack's usually tan skin blanched an unhealthy shade of white. Ssm suspected this news would be hard for him to hear, and she was obviously correct.
Jack just sat there for several minutes, unable to think of something to say, let alone find the ability to say it. Sam was silent also, but then she apparently decided she needed to clarify a few things, because she began to ramble on about everything that was on her mind. Well, almost everything.
"You see Pete and I want to have a family. It's just that this child was unexpected. I've been having some problems, and I was off birth control for a while. And even though we were careful... Well, we never expected this to happen so soon, but we're okay with it. Really! It's just that I won't be able to travel through the gate for the next...well, probably almost a year, what with maternity leave and all. And I was just wondering if there was any way I could expect to get my spot on SG-1 back after the baby's born? I really don't want to give it up, so if there's any way you could..."
"Carter! Carter, say no more. SG-1 will be yours again when you return from maternity leave." Jack cleared his throat, trying to swallow the lump that had formed when she'd said the word 'pregnant.'
"When will that be, exactly," Jack asked, not really wanting to talk about it, but knowing that, as the man, he had to schedule certain things to keep the base running smoothly.
"In seven months, if I take off the month before the baby's born and two months after. I believe that's standard practice, Sir." She knew very well that it was military regulation. She just wished there were some way around it.
"It is. In fact it's mandatory," he assured her, wanting her to know she wouldn't be slacking off...just doing what was expected of her. He knew how conscientious Carter was about her work habits, and he was certain that being away from her lab and SG-1, for any length of time, was going to be very difficult for her.
"Well, then, I won't keep you any longer, Sir. I just needed to tell you. After all, you are the base commander," she said, as though she needed a reason to come to him with this personal information.
And in fact she HAD needed a reason to come to Jack with this news. They had never shared personal things with each other. Not in all the seven years of their flirting and dancing around their feelings for each other had they ever shared anything of a personal nature. And she certainly hadn't wanted to begin sharing her personal life with him, with news such as this! But he was her boss, and therefore she had to tell him, no matter how much she regretted having to do so.
"Yes, that would be me," Jack said with a wry smirk on his handsome face.
However, right now he wished he were not the base commander, but instead Wyle E. Coyote. If he was that unlucky bastard, a large safe would simply fall from the sky and land on top of him, smashing him into the ground and putting him out of his misery. Ya, that would be much better than having to live with all this regret and disappointment.
Sam got up and walked to the door. Before she opened it, she looked back at Jack who was now standing. "I'm sorry, Sir. I know you must be disappointed in me," she said quietly, and then she turned and left his office.
Startled by her final statement, Jack s mouth fell open. Then he slumped back down into his chair.
"Not disappointed in YOU, Carter. Disappointed in myself," Jack said aloud, but Sam was already through the outer office and didn't hear him.
Much to Jack's relief, he had not been asked to play a roll in the actual wedding ceremony, but he was expected to be there. This fact was bad enough, and had his stomach tied in knots for the better part of two weeks before the happy day.
Janet and Daniel had been asked to stand up with the cop guy and Sam. And Jake Carter, Sam's father, would be coming all the way from Saudi Arabia, where he was the U.S. Ambassador, to give the bride away. So all Jack had to do was watch as the woman he loved married someone else. Oh, ya, it was gonna be a piece of cake!
Jack awoke earlier than usual on the morning of Sam's wedding. In fact he had been awake most of the night, and now he had bags under his eyes the size of Kansas. He had just gotten out of the shower, when his doorbell rang. Jack wrapped himself in a towel and padded to the door, not entirely surprised to find Daniel standing there with an anxious expression on his boyish face.
"Oh, good, Jack, you're getting ready. You are getting ready to go to Sam's wedding, aren't you?"
"Of course I am, Daniel. Where else would I be going?" Jack knew that Daniel knew that he was not happy about the forthcoming nuptials, and Daniel was just foolish enough to tell Jack that he knew.
"Jack, I know you're not too happy about this, and believe me I sympathize with you. But we've got to be there for Sam," Daniel said, as though trying to talk Jack into the right frame of mind...as though any amount of convincing could change the way Jack felt.
"Daniel, I thought we weren't going to have this conversation."
He had told the young archaeologist earlier that week that he didn't want to hear another word about the cold shoulder Jack had been giving the prospective groom. They had all been at Janet's house the weekend before, when the happy couple had been presented with gifts for their new life together. Sam's dad and step-mother, and General Hammond and his wife had also been there.
Daniel had taken Jack aside and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was to start being civil to Pete, no matter how much he disliked him. Jack had claimed ignorance, stating that he WAS being civil to him. He could tolerate the man. He just didn't think he was right for Sam. How could he feel anyone else was right for Sam, when he wanted her so desperately for himself? But of course he didn't say that.
"Jack, I thought you were a bigger man than this! Sam is getting married. She's starting a family, for gosh sakes. She needs our support! She doesn't need one of her friends treating her husband like he's...he's..."
"Like he's an idiot who almost got her killed? I'm sorry Daniel, but I call 'em like I see 'em. Pete Sheridan is an idiot!" Jack turned and walked rapidly to the bathroom, Daniel hot on his tail.
"Shanahan not Sheridan. God, Jack, you don't even know his name, and soon it's gonna be Sam's last name!"
"No, I'm sure she's keeping her last name, Daniel," Jack told him with certainty. He lathered his face and began to shave, while making faces in the mirror. Daniel watched him from the doorway.
"Jack, you have to let her go," Daniel said with finality.
"Why, Daniel? She's not really going anywhere, now is she? She's still going to be working at the SGC, and she'll still be my friend. Things won't be that different," Jack said, trying to convince himself.
He knew what Daniel meant, but he couldn't admit it to anyone but himself. Besides, maybe if he pretended hard enough, things would seem the same as they'd always been.
"Yeah, right. And she won't be sleeping in Pete's bed every night either," Daniel said, making his point and stabbing Jack through the heart with it.
"That was low, Daniel, specially for you," Jack told him, stripping off the towel and tossing it onto the floor before pushing past Daniel. Daniel averted his eyes from Jack's naked body and headed for the living room, calling out behind him, "I'll wait in here for you. You've got exactly fifteen minutes, and then we have to leave for the church!"
Jack didn't respond. With deliberate slowness he began putting on a dark gray, pin-striped suit that he hadn't worn since his mother's funeral twenty years earlier. It still fit him, of that he was certain. The style might be a little old-fashioned, but then everything comes back into style sooner or later, so Jack figured no one would notice. And besides, everyone would no doubt have their eyes on Samantha Carter, the loveliest woman to ever walk the face of the earth, and probably the smartest too, Jack thought with pride.
He slipped into his black dress shoes and tied them, before placing a white handkerchief in his breast pocket. 'Now all that's missing is my last meal and a blind fold,' Jack thought to himself, as he took in his reflection in the big dresser mirror.
"You look like you're going to a funeral, Jack, or like you're ready for your own," he told himself.
Actually he had been glad that Sam had specified she didn't want a military wedding, and that she wished everyone would dress in civilian clothing. It gave Jack a chance to see if his favorite suit still fit, and it also gave him an opportunity to see how it felt to be plain old Jack O'Neill for a change...one where those damned frat regs didn't apply. Taking one last look in the mirror, he decided he liked this feeling of freedom...maybe a little too much.
Jack came out of the bedroom exactly fifteen minutes later to find Daniel pacing in the foyer. He headed out the door without another word, a grateful Jack following him.
~*~ The little chapel at the Air Force Academy was small, but it seemed much larger when the wedding party consisted of only the bride and groom and ten other people including the minister. The participants and attendees were as follows: Janet Frasier, Daniel Jackson, Jacob Carter and his wife Elise, Teal'c, Cassandra Frasier and her date Gary Hudson, George Hammond, Jack O'Neill and Reverend William Houghton.
Jack sat at the back of the chapel near the door, planning on making a quick exit, even though he had no car with which to make his escape. He knew that Daniel had planned it that way, but he also knew he could and would walk all the way home, rather than go with Daniel and Janet to her house for the wedding reception after the ceremony.
Jack sat like a man awaiting sentencing for a crime he didn't commit, as Jake and Sam began to walk down the aisle.
She looked wonderful, as she always did, in a white suit with a pink silk blouse underneath. On her head she wore a small white hat with an attached veil that covered just the upper portion of her face, and she carried a bouquet of pink roses and white gardenias. Standing as she walked slowly past, Jack thought she was the most beautiful bride he had ever seen.
Sam glanced quickly over at Jack, but by that time Jack had shifted his eyes to the front of the chapel.
Fortunately for Jack the ceremony was short and went off without a hitch, even though the pause, when Rev. Houghton had asked if anyone objected to the marriage, did seem extremely long. And as soon as the minister pronounced the two husband and wife and Pete leaned in to kiss his bride, Jack was out of his seat and heading out the door.
Jack was pretty sure he heard Daniel shouting to him to wait, but Jack didn't stop. And after walking through the campus that surrounded the small chapel, Jack finally came to the highway where cars whizzed by at dizzying speeds. It had been a long time since Jack had hitchhiked, but he hadn't forgotten how.
So, out went one of his double-jointed thumbs, and soon a young woman in a newer, red, Ford Mustang GT convertible stopped and removed her sun glasses before offering Jack a ride. He accepted with a nod of his head before climbing into the low car.
Jack seemed to slide his tall, lanky body into the passenger seat in one fluid move. Then he took off his dark glasses and looked into her eyes, before giving her a firm handshake and telling her his name was Jack. She held his hand firmly in hers and told him her name was Ashley. Then they both replaced their dark glasses, before starting off down the highway under the bright noon-day sun.
"It isn't every day I see a man dressed in a suit hitching a ride!"
Jack smiled at her, and she smiled back. He knew she wanted to know why he was out there dressed like that, but he wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
Jack couldn't help noticing how pretty she, and not just the-girl-next-door pretty either. This girl was something special! She was wearing tight blue Jeans, a bright orange tank top and orange sandals with rhinestones on them. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back and fastened with a multi-colored elastic.
Wisps of fine, blonde hair that had escaped blew around her face as they drove with the top down. He had noticed that her eyes were bright green. Jack decided no one's eyes were really that green, so she was most likely wearing green contact lenses. He didn't mind, although he did prefer women who were all natural.
"So, Jack, what are you doing out here without a car? I mean you don't look like the type of man who usually hitchhikes," she said with a nervous laugh.
Jack figured she sensed she might be prying. And though she was, he almost didn't mind.
"And you'd be right. Actually it's a long story, and I'd just as soon forget it, if you don't mind?"
"Sure. No problem. So where to?"
"Where were you going? I don't want to take you out of your way," he admitted, looking at her profile as she watched the traffic. She was young...way too young for him, of that Jack was certain, but there was something about her that intrigued Jack and made him like her right away.
"I'm going to work," she said, turning her head to smile at him.
She really had a great smile...pretty, white, even teeth and these little dimples that reminded him of Carter. 'Stop thinking about her, you fool! She just married someone else, for cryin out loud! Haven't you let her step on your heart enough all ready?'
"Where do you work, Ashley?"
"I'm a dancer...at a club," she told him, and at first what she was telling him didn't sink in, and then suddenly it did.
"Oh, really! Any place I might have been?"
"The Pink Flamingo over on Beechum. Know it?"
"Actually I do! Me and my buddies use to hang out there many moons ago. I didn't even realize it was still there," he told her with a laugh. He also had no idea they had girls like her were working there. She almost seemed like she was too good for that kind of place, or perhaps he was being unfairly critical of her occupation?
"So, how long have you worked there?" he asked her, honestly interested in finding out why any young woman would put herself on display like that. She looked so pure and innocent...or was that just an image she had created?
"I've been there for almost a year, but I worked at a club in Denver before that. I'm from Georgia. I'm a Georgia peach," she said with a giggle.
Jack had to agree with that; she was every bit as appealing as a fresh peach!
"And in case you're wondering... No, I don't intend to make dancing in strip clubs a career. I'm working my way through college. I go to school in the mornings and work four evenings a week...Thursday through Sunday."
"Ah, so a college girl!" Well, that relieved Jack's mind a great deal. For some reason he hated to think that this fine young woman held no higher aspirations than to be a dancer in a strip joint.
"What are you studying?"
"Why don't you try and guess, and then I'll guess what you do," she said with a giggle in her voice. Jack loved her laugh and her enthusiasm, so he decided to play along.
"Okay, let's see...you're a dancer, so you're obviously interested in physical fitness. So maybe a physical therapist?"
"No, you're not even close, Jack."
"Not even close, huh?"
"Nope!" she said, shaking her head and making her pony tail swing back and forth.
"It is one of the humanities?"
"Yes, Jack, but which one," she ask him, a huge smile on her face, as though she were having the time of her life.
"Sociology?"
"Yes! I've got three more semesters to go before I get my BA in Socio-anthropology," she told him excitedly.
I have no doubt you will," he told her, and he meant it. She really seemed determined.
"Okay, now it's my turn to guess your occupation. Are you in the Air Force?"
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Well, at first I ruled that out, because of your suit. But the haircut and those sunglasses gave you away, and of course where I picked you up...right next to the academy. All the military types who come into the club have shades like yours and the short hair."
"Okay, smarty pants. Now guess my rank," he challenged, and she wrinkled her nose in thought and pulled her bottom lip between her pearly-white teeth.
"Hmmm. Are you a major?"
"Nope, not a major," Jack said, making a face at her, to which she responded with another of those cute giggles.
"Are you a colonel?"
"Nope, not a colonel."
"Then you're a general, right?"
Jack smirked.
"I knew it! I guessed it all along. I just wanted to play longer," she told him. "I like you, Jack. You seem like a really nice man. May I ask you a sort of personal question?"
"Yah, I guess." He really hoped it wasn't about what base he worked at and what went on there. For some reason the thought of lying to this young woman didn't appeal to him.
"Why aren't you wearing your dress uniform today, Jack? I get the feeling you're not happy about something, and I think it might be something to do with where you just were," she speculated.
She was obviously beginning to relax with him or she wouldn't have asked such a personal question again. And Jack suddenly decided he didn't mind telling her exactly where he'd been and how he was feeling about it.
"Maybe you should become a psychiatrist," he told her. But although he wasn't mad at her for asking, he didn't smile. He hadn't even thought about Carter, or the fact that he had just attended her wedding, for several minutes, and now the girl had to go and ask him about it! Damn!
"I'm sorry, Jack. It's none of my business," she admitted. "I just thought...you look like maybe you need to talk to someone."
Jack thought she must think he was mad at her for bringing up something painful, and he didn't want her to think that.
"Ashley, it's okay. And you're right; I could use someone to talk to. I've just never been very good at opening up. I just attended the wedding of someone I care about a great deal...much more than I'm supposed to. She requested that we not wear our uniforms, so I wore this. It's my favorite good suit. Actually, it's my only good suit. I wore it to a funeral many years ago," he said, telling her more than he had intended.
She was intrigued by this older man and more than a little bit attracted to him, which was unusual for her. She usually liked guys closer to her own age, and Jack was obviously old enough to be her father. But there was something about him that she really liked and trusted, so even though she didn't usually give out her phone number to strangers, she handed him a slip of paper before he got out of her car. It had both her cell phone and her home phone numbers on it.
Jack took it and thanked her for the ride, before he got out at the corner. He folded the paper neatly in half and placed it in his coat pocket as he walked toward his house at the far end of the street.
When he got inside, he wasn't surprised to see that there were three messages on his answering machine. He pressed erase, knowing that they all would be from Daniel. If anyone needed to reach him about something important with regard to the SGC, they had his cell phone number.
Which reminded him that he had left his cell phone turned off during and after the ceremony, so it was high time he checked it for any urgent messages. As he suspected, there were none, but Daniel had called him on his cell phone three times as well!
After carefully hanging up his gray suit and slipping into some old sweats and a worn Colorado Avalanche T-shirt, Jack went into the living room and poured himself a triple shot of Jack Daniels. He downed most of it in one gulp and then he topped off his glass and was about to sit down on the sofa, when he remembered the piece of paper that Ashley had handed him.
He went and got it from his coat pocket and laid it next to his phone...not that he was ever going to phone her, but he somehow felt it would have been rude to just toss it out without even a second thought. She was a really nice girl, but she was way too young for him. Even so, he kept reminding himself that no matter how much older he was, she had apparently been interested in him enough to give him her phone numbers, and that fact made him feel pretty damned good!
He glanced over at the phone from time to time as he flipped through the tv channels, looking for something that would hold his interest. It was early evening now, and he was beginning to feel hungry. So he went and looked into the refrigerator, standing with the door open for several minutes, while he stared into the almost empty appliance. He finally slammed the door shut in disgust.
He really needed to go to the grocery store, but that thought didn't appeal to him. And suddenly he had an idea that did appeal to him. He would go out and get something to eat! Not fast food or take out, but a real sit down meal. He'd go to Luigi's and have Italian food...and not just a pizza.
Jack hurried into his bedroom and changed clothes, and in five minutes he was out the door. As it closed he thought he heard the telephone ringing, but he ignored it and climbed into his truck and drove off.
~*~ They were at Janet's house now, where the reception was being held, and they were about to cut the wedding cake. Sam pulled Daniel aside to ask him if he'd had any luck tracking down Jack. Daniel just shook his head, watching helplessly as Sam's face paled. Then she turned away from him and went back to sit beside her new husband, while Daniel just stood there with a worried expression on his face.
"Daniel, what's wrong? Still can't find him?" Janet knew that he'd been calling all over in his search for Jack, and she knew how upsetting Jack's sudden disappearance was to Sam.
"No. And Sam is getting more and more upset by the minute. Maybe you should have a talk with her? In her condition..." He didn't know what he was going to say exactly, but Janet caught on to his line of thinking and nodded.
"She'll be fine, Daniel. And he'll show up at the base on schedule. You know Jack; he's a team player. He won't let this affect him that much," she assured him.
"Now come on, it's time for the cake. Get your camera ready," she reminded him, and they both went into the dining room to watch as Pete and Sam cut the cake.
TBC