Title - Her Father's Smile
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG
Keyword - Mulder/Scully Romance implied
Classification - Vignette
Spoilers - DeadAlive
Summary - How does Maggie Scully find out about her daughter's pregancy?
Disclaimer - The characters don't belong to me. I'm just using them for my own therapeutic purposes. They will be returned to Chris Carter relatively unharmed when I'm done.
Author notes - This comes from a personal experience I encountered a few days ago. I attended a funeral of a friend's brother. She didn't handle it well, spending most of it in a state similar to Scully in this story. I also was curious about Maggie's reaction after finding out about Scully's pregnancy. I put it all together and came up with this. Hope you enjoy :-)
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It's getting colder out here. I'm feeling the ache in my frozen toes. But despite the dropping temperatures, the woman in my arms has long ago stopped shivering.
"Agent Scully," I call gently to her. She may not be ready to go yet, but it's time. She shouldn't be out in weather like this. "Are you ready to leave? We should get you some place warm."
She doesn't say anything. She doesn't even move.
"Agent Scully?" I try again, calling louder this time. Still no response.
"Dana!" I know my voice is panicked now. But she's not answering me. I pull away from her and she falls against me like dead weight. Her eyes are fixed, unblinking. Staring blankly into the distance. Wherever she is, she's far from here. Her body may be next to mine, but her spirit is long gone. What do I expect when we just buried half her soul?
I pull her close to me again, tucking her inside my coat to try and share my warmth. My own heart is pounding with fear and drowning out her shallow and thready pulse. I rub her arms vigorously, trying to keep the life flowing through them, but they remain limp at her sides. And I realize that I am only holding the shell of this woman.
"Mr. Skinner?" a voice calls to me. I turn around to see Mrs. Scully standing behind me, her eyes filled with concern.
"We need to get her to the hospital," I say calmly.
"What's happened?" she gasps.
"We were standing here after everyone left. And she started to cry. She fell into my arms and cried for maybe an hour. Then she got really quiet and really still. It's so cold out here, but she wasn't even shivering. I called to her, but she's not answering."
"Dana, Honey. It's Mom. Can you hear me?" Mrs. Scully steps closer and grabs her daughter's limp hand. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Nothing happens and the woman looks up at me again, silently asking me to answer questions I don't understand myself.
"I think today was just . . . too much for her to handle. Mentally, she had to get away." That's the only way I could really try to explain what was happening. Although, it makes perfect sense. These two were parts of the same whole. I didn't think they could survive without each other. But she has to. She has someone else depending on her now.
"She's okay, then," Mrs. Scully says. "She's just dealing with this her own way. We'll take her and get her warm and she'll be fine." It's almost as if she were trying to convice herself. She wants to believe her daughter will be okay. And I know what they say about mothers knowing best, but this mother doesn't have all the facts. And it looks like I, unfortunately, will have to be the one to fill her in.
"Mrs. Scully, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure Dana will be fine. But I'm not just worried about her." I see the confused look on her face and know that Agent Scully hasn't been entirely forthcoming with her mother about the situation.
"What do you mean, Mr. Skinner?"
"She needs to get to a hospital. I think she's in shock. And believe it or not, it's probably the best way for her body to deal with the loss, of protecting itself. But I don't think this is good for . . . " I pause, taking a moment to gather my courage. I'm almost afraid of her reaction. Scully had to get her temper from somewhere. And I have a feeling that an angry Maggie Scully is a force to be reckoned with.
"Not good for what?" she prompts, glaring questioningly at me. Lifting that eyebrow the same way I've seen her daughter do it on so many occasions.
"For the baby," I finally say. I watch as my words sink into her brain. Her eyes widen in shock as she processes what I'm saying. I decide to spit it all out and make it plain for her. "Dana is . . . Mrs. Scully, she's pregnant."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Pregnant. She's pregnant. My baby girl is going to have a baby of her own. How could she not tell me this? How could she keep something like this from me? I look over at her still form lying on the hospital bed. This scene is so familiar to me, yet completely foreign. So many times, I've found myself in this very position - keeping vigil by her bedside. But before, I felt almost as if I were intruding, interrupting private moments between her and Fox. At her bedside like this was the only time I ever saw his heart completely open to her. I know they loved each other very much, but they were so afraid to show it. Apparently they finally found a way to express that love. I look down at her stomach, the evidence of that love obviously visible to me now. How could she hide that?
But Fox isn't here this time. He can't ever be here again. From what her boss tells me, Fox has been missing for months. Another secret my daughter kept from me. All this time he was gone. All this time she was looking for him. She never said a word. But she shows up at my door four days ago completely inconsolable. It was then I found out he was dead. She cried all night that night. She cried like I've never seen her cry. But never once did she mention that she was crying for her lover. For the man her child will never be able to call 'daddy'.
She starts to stir, finally coming out of her stupor. I see her blink her eyes and look wildly around the room, trying to figure out where she is.
"Mom?" she croaks when she sees me. "What am I doing here? Where's Mul-"
Her eyes slam shut and a fresh river of tears flows down her face. She must have been confused for a minute. To her, this was just another hospital trip. A time when she expected to awaken and find herself face to face with Fox. But seeing me brought all the memories back. All the pain she's been through the past three months.
"Dana? Sweetheart? Do you remember what happened?" I gently ask her.
"The funeral," she nods, wiping the tears from her face. "But I don't know why I'm here."
She sits up abruptly, eyes flying wide open. Her hands cover her stomach. She looks at me, mouth opening and closing a few times, but no words coming out.
"The baby's fine, Dana," I smile, covering her hands with my own.
"Are you sure?" she whispers, but I can already see the relief on her face. She settles back on her pillow and exhales a deep breath she probably didn't even know she was holding. We rub her stomach together for a few minutes before she stiffens and pulls away from me. She rolls away from me and stares out the window.
"I'm sorry," I hear her quiet voice say. "I should have told you."
"Yes, Dana. You should have," I say. I want to say more. I want to tell her how much it hurt me to find out four months after the fact that I'm going to be a grandmother again. Maybe she thought I would be disappointed. Maybe she thought that I wouldn't approve. But I deserved to know. She shuts me out of her life, away from her pain. And then something like this happens and she figures out that she can't handle it alone. Like with her cancer. I want to tell her how angry I am. But I won't. She doesn't need that right now. She needs my support. And she's going to get it whether she wants it or not.
"He didn't know," she whimpers as the sobs take over her body. "He would have been such a good father."
"It's going to be alright," I assure her, my own tears flowing freely now. "I'm here with you. Together we'll get through this pregnancy. And together we'll raise this baby. You're going to be a good mother."
"You really think so?" she sniffs, rolling over to face me again. I take her hand in my own and give it a comforting squeeze.
"I know so."
My daughter looks at me and gives me the biggest smile I've seen on her face in years. A smile that looks so much like her father's. It's seeing that kind of happiness that makes being a parent worth while. It's a feeling I pray she'll discover for herself one day. One day when her little one looks up at her and flashes Fox's smile.
The End.
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG
Keyword - Mulder/Scully Romance implied
Classification - Vignette
Spoilers - DeadAlive
Summary - How does Maggie Scully find out about her daughter's pregancy?
Disclaimer - The characters don't belong to me. I'm just using them for my own therapeutic purposes. They will be returned to Chris Carter relatively unharmed when I'm done.
Author notes - This comes from a personal experience I encountered a few days ago. I attended a funeral of a friend's brother. She didn't handle it well, spending most of it in a state similar to Scully in this story. I also was curious about Maggie's reaction after finding out about Scully's pregnancy. I put it all together and came up with this. Hope you enjoy :-)
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It's getting colder out here. I'm feeling the ache in my frozen toes. But despite the dropping temperatures, the woman in my arms has long ago stopped shivering.
"Agent Scully," I call gently to her. She may not be ready to go yet, but it's time. She shouldn't be out in weather like this. "Are you ready to leave? We should get you some place warm."
She doesn't say anything. She doesn't even move.
"Agent Scully?" I try again, calling louder this time. Still no response.
"Dana!" I know my voice is panicked now. But she's not answering me. I pull away from her and she falls against me like dead weight. Her eyes are fixed, unblinking. Staring blankly into the distance. Wherever she is, she's far from here. Her body may be next to mine, but her spirit is long gone. What do I expect when we just buried half her soul?
I pull her close to me again, tucking her inside my coat to try and share my warmth. My own heart is pounding with fear and drowning out her shallow and thready pulse. I rub her arms vigorously, trying to keep the life flowing through them, but they remain limp at her sides. And I realize that I am only holding the shell of this woman.
"Mr. Skinner?" a voice calls to me. I turn around to see Mrs. Scully standing behind me, her eyes filled with concern.
"We need to get her to the hospital," I say calmly.
"What's happened?" she gasps.
"We were standing here after everyone left. And she started to cry. She fell into my arms and cried for maybe an hour. Then she got really quiet and really still. It's so cold out here, but she wasn't even shivering. I called to her, but she's not answering."
"Dana, Honey. It's Mom. Can you hear me?" Mrs. Scully steps closer and grabs her daughter's limp hand. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Nothing happens and the woman looks up at me again, silently asking me to answer questions I don't understand myself.
"I think today was just . . . too much for her to handle. Mentally, she had to get away." That's the only way I could really try to explain what was happening. Although, it makes perfect sense. These two were parts of the same whole. I didn't think they could survive without each other. But she has to. She has someone else depending on her now.
"She's okay, then," Mrs. Scully says. "She's just dealing with this her own way. We'll take her and get her warm and she'll be fine." It's almost as if she were trying to convice herself. She wants to believe her daughter will be okay. And I know what they say about mothers knowing best, but this mother doesn't have all the facts. And it looks like I, unfortunately, will have to be the one to fill her in.
"Mrs. Scully, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure Dana will be fine. But I'm not just worried about her." I see the confused look on her face and know that Agent Scully hasn't been entirely forthcoming with her mother about the situation.
"What do you mean, Mr. Skinner?"
"She needs to get to a hospital. I think she's in shock. And believe it or not, it's probably the best way for her body to deal with the loss, of protecting itself. But I don't think this is good for . . . " I pause, taking a moment to gather my courage. I'm almost afraid of her reaction. Scully had to get her temper from somewhere. And I have a feeling that an angry Maggie Scully is a force to be reckoned with.
"Not good for what?" she prompts, glaring questioningly at me. Lifting that eyebrow the same way I've seen her daughter do it on so many occasions.
"For the baby," I finally say. I watch as my words sink into her brain. Her eyes widen in shock as she processes what I'm saying. I decide to spit it all out and make it plain for her. "Dana is . . . Mrs. Scully, she's pregnant."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Pregnant. She's pregnant. My baby girl is going to have a baby of her own. How could she not tell me this? How could she keep something like this from me? I look over at her still form lying on the hospital bed. This scene is so familiar to me, yet completely foreign. So many times, I've found myself in this very position - keeping vigil by her bedside. But before, I felt almost as if I were intruding, interrupting private moments between her and Fox. At her bedside like this was the only time I ever saw his heart completely open to her. I know they loved each other very much, but they were so afraid to show it. Apparently they finally found a way to express that love. I look down at her stomach, the evidence of that love obviously visible to me now. How could she hide that?
But Fox isn't here this time. He can't ever be here again. From what her boss tells me, Fox has been missing for months. Another secret my daughter kept from me. All this time he was gone. All this time she was looking for him. She never said a word. But she shows up at my door four days ago completely inconsolable. It was then I found out he was dead. She cried all night that night. She cried like I've never seen her cry. But never once did she mention that she was crying for her lover. For the man her child will never be able to call 'daddy'.
She starts to stir, finally coming out of her stupor. I see her blink her eyes and look wildly around the room, trying to figure out where she is.
"Mom?" she croaks when she sees me. "What am I doing here? Where's Mul-"
Her eyes slam shut and a fresh river of tears flows down her face. She must have been confused for a minute. To her, this was just another hospital trip. A time when she expected to awaken and find herself face to face with Fox. But seeing me brought all the memories back. All the pain she's been through the past three months.
"Dana? Sweetheart? Do you remember what happened?" I gently ask her.
"The funeral," she nods, wiping the tears from her face. "But I don't know why I'm here."
She sits up abruptly, eyes flying wide open. Her hands cover her stomach. She looks at me, mouth opening and closing a few times, but no words coming out.
"The baby's fine, Dana," I smile, covering her hands with my own.
"Are you sure?" she whispers, but I can already see the relief on her face. She settles back on her pillow and exhales a deep breath she probably didn't even know she was holding. We rub her stomach together for a few minutes before she stiffens and pulls away from me. She rolls away from me and stares out the window.
"I'm sorry," I hear her quiet voice say. "I should have told you."
"Yes, Dana. You should have," I say. I want to say more. I want to tell her how much it hurt me to find out four months after the fact that I'm going to be a grandmother again. Maybe she thought I would be disappointed. Maybe she thought that I wouldn't approve. But I deserved to know. She shuts me out of her life, away from her pain. And then something like this happens and she figures out that she can't handle it alone. Like with her cancer. I want to tell her how angry I am. But I won't. She doesn't need that right now. She needs my support. And she's going to get it whether she wants it or not.
"He didn't know," she whimpers as the sobs take over her body. "He would have been such a good father."
"It's going to be alright," I assure her, my own tears flowing freely now. "I'm here with you. Together we'll get through this pregnancy. And together we'll raise this baby. You're going to be a good mother."
"You really think so?" she sniffs, rolling over to face me again. I take her hand in my own and give it a comforting squeeze.
"I know so."
My daughter looks at me and gives me the biggest smile I've seen on her face in years. A smile that looks so much like her father's. It's seeing that kind of happiness that makes being a parent worth while. It's a feeling I pray she'll discover for herself one day. One day when her little one looks up at her and flashes Fox's smile.
The End.