Finn and Kurt's Adventure in Match-Making
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A/N: Thanks for clicking:) I hope this fic is going to be worth your time! It's another one of what I have come to call my 'fraction of distraction' pieces, i.e. a prompt that bugged me until I gave in;) Seriously, I'm supposed to be updating two of my other stories right now but this was so much fun to do I couldn't help myself. I just hope you'll have as much fun reading this! 'This' being a random piece of Furt fluff placed somewhere in the 'Michael' week (some minor spoiles!).
Enjoy:)
"Dude, you won't believe it!" Finn exclaimed, barging into the empty classroom. "It's impossible!"
"Finn, if this is about you trying to lick your elbow again-" Kurt began, not raising his head from his notebook.
"No, no!" the taller teen interrupted. "Sam! And Mercedes!" he exclaimed, bouncing with excitement.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Kurt loosened the grip on his pen. It fell onto the desk with a satisfying click. Between worrying about Blaine's health, fretting about his NYADA application and trying to devise the most creative way of skinning Sebastian alive, he really didn't feel like handling Finn going hyper on him. Where was Rachel when you needed her?
"You've had sugar, haven't you?" he asked, resigned.
That seemed to calm the other teen down somewhat. He leaned against the desk in front of Kurt and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, define sugar."
Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "Something you're not supposed to have on school days because it makes you all jumpy and I'm always the one ending up picking up the pieces."
"Dude, that's so not true!"
"Remember that time I left you in my baby at the gas station for a minute to pay and when I came back you were jumping on the roof pretending to be a monkey? Or when you painted my door yellow because you thought it needed 'cheering up'?" he recounted with a frown. "Do I need to go on?"
"Okay, I get it," Finn said sourly, his fingers drumming nervously on the desk. "You don't like yellow."
Kurt felt like bumping his head against something. "Yes. That and I'm not letting you inside my baby in this state."
"But you're my ride!"
"Find someone else."
"There is no one else! Everyone's gone already!"
"You can walk, can't you?"
"Dude, it's the middle of winter in Ohio!"
"Don't forget to zip your jacket," Kurt shot back.
Finn opened his mouth and then closed it, giving him a pout. The smaller boy allowed himself a small smirk, which quickly waned under his stepbrother's gaze.
"Are you kidding me with the puppy eyes?" he asked but felt his resolve melt with every second. Finn continued to stare. "Fine," he agreed grudgingly. "But if you act up, I want you to know I will have no problem pushing you out from the car without even bothering to slow down in the process."
"Um, okay," the taller teen said, swallowing. "Scary Kurt."
The countertenor nodded, fixing him down with a stern glance. "So, what about Mercedes and Sam?"
Finn's eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah!" he exclaimed. "It's big, man! I was coming to pick you up when I saw Mercedes sneaking into the auditorium so I followed her and Sam was there. She didn't want to talk to him but finally agreed and they did this really cool duet and dude, they kissed. Like really-"
"TMI, Finn! I get the picture!" Kurt interrupted him. A frown grew on his face. "I knew she wasn't over Sam. She can't stop talking about their summer."
"And all Sam's been on about in trainings is how he wants to get her back and stuff," Finn confirmed with a nod. "So-" he began, his expression turning sly. "-I thought we could plant like, a dead herring and set up this plan to get them together."
Kurt willed the smile tugging at his lips to go away. "Finn, as fun as planting dead herrings sounds, I'm really not in the mood for this," he said. Finn looked at him questioningly. "In case you didn't notice," he added with a sigh, "-my boyfriend almost lost an eye and needs surgery," he added. "I really don't need this right now."
"Dude, that's exactly what you need!" Finn objected heatedly. "I mean, I know how stressed you've been about the whole NYADA thing and now with Blaine…you need a distraction."
Kurt folded his hands on the desk in front of him. "Oh, do I?" he asked, sarcasm oozing from his voice. He had to admit it was sweet of Finn to look out for him like that and frankly, he was touched his stepbrother watched him so carefully but he really did have other things on his mind.
"Totally, man," the taller boy replied, Kurt's tone flying over his head. "So, I was thinking we take Cedes and Sam to the mall tomorrow, separately. We tell them to meet us in the same place only we don't show up. When they're locked all alone inside they can uh, talk and figure stuff out. I even have the place," he said and Kurt swore if he had a moustache, he would curl it in that moment. "Mom's friend has this empty storage room at the back of her store where no one ever comes. I can get the key."
Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. "So your brilliant idea is to basically kidnap them and keep them locked until they profess undying love to each other."
"Or kiss." Finn shrugged. "I'm flexible."
The smaller teen groaned. "Finn, this is the worst idea since Abraham Lincoln said, 'I'm sick of sitting around the house, let's go to the theatre'."
"He was this Beatles singer who got shot, right?" Finn asked wryly and the coutnertenor's face fell.
"Finnegan-"
"Dude, relax, I know who Abraham Lincoln was!" Finn interrupted him with a chuckle. "I was just winding you up. To get that look on your face."
"Keep doing that and the only look you'll be getting on your face is dead."
Finn grinned at him. "So, you gonna help me?"
Kurt rubbed his forehead, giving him a resigned look. "This is one of those Finn things, isn't it?" he asked after a moment. "When I tell you that something is stupid and you shouldn't do it and you go and do it anyway."
"Totally, man. So?"
"Are there any chances that this is just a bad, ridiculous dream and when I close my eyes you'll disappear?"
"That would be kinda cool," Finn said. "Or not," he added with a frown and then looked back at the smaller teen. "I can pinch you," he offered.
"So helpful," Kurt observed wryly.
"You still haven't answered me, man," Finn urged. "Are we gonna go all Sherlock Holmes on Sam and Cedes?"
Kurt looked at him in surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"I…I'm just surprised about you using a literary reference. And in a full sentence no less."
Finn knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. "There's a book? I was thinking about the Robert Downey Jr. movies."
"Of course. What was I thinking," Kurt said with a self-deprecating smile.
"So, now that you're all impressed with me and stuff, you're gonna do it, right?"
Kurt shot him a sidelong glance. "As un-impressed as I am, it's not like I can say no."
"Actually, you can."
"And let you go on some half-assed, crazy match-making spree unsupervised? What do you think, Love Guru?"
Finn thought for a moment and then a slow smile spread across his face. "Yes?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "It was a rhetorical question."
XxXxXxX
Mercedes had agreed. They weren't as close as they used to be but he still had some pull with her and he got her, against his better judgment, to come to the mall with him tomorrow. Moving on autopilot, he opened his locker, wondering how he always let Finn rope him into his most ridiculous stunts. Still, some good had already come out of it. Kurt smiled remembering how excited Blaine had been yesterday when he told him about the whole thing. Confined to his bed and down about missing out on the Michael week, Blaine seemed to really need the distraction and it was wonderful to see a smile on his boyfriend's face again.
Still deep in his head, he reached out to close his locker…and all but jumped as Finn appeared behind it, grinning at him like had just won the New York marathon or something.
"Where did you come-" Kurt mumbled, willing his heart to calm down.
"Sam's on board."
The countertenor rolled his eyes. "It required some blackmailing and a lease on my new D&G shades but so is Mercedes," he informed him.
Finn nodded. "And I got the key. Operation Samcedes is a go," he said in a conspiratorial whisper and quickly walked away.
Kurt looked after him, trying hard to fight the smile forcing itself on his lips. Blaine aside, he had to admit that having something like trying to bring Mercedes and Sam together was keeping his mind off obsessively worrying over his boyfriend and NYADA. Plus, he was beginning to feel a spark of excitement himself, his romantic heart starting to beat faster at the idea of getting together two of his friends, who were clearly made for each other. Surprise surprise, Finn had been right.
Not that Kurt would ever admit it aloud.
XxXxXxX
Kurt re-adjusted his Burberry trench coat and perched his Gucci sunglasses higher on his nose. Finn had given him a strange look but he was never one to pass up an opportunity for fashion, and this outfit was espionage-chic. Sighing, he reached for his walkie talkie.
"Finn?"
"Dude, we were supposed to use our code names!" came from the other end. Kurt rolled his eyes- "And don't you roll your eyes on me, man!" Kurt stared at the walkie talkie and then around but his stepbrother was nowhere in sight. "This is an open frequency!"
"I swear, movies have totally rotten your brain, Finn."
"Code. Names."
Kurt heaved a martyred sigh. "Unicorn to yeti."
"Hey, I was supposed to be Iron Man!"
Kurt smirked. "Well, if you ask me, you're much more of a yeti."
There was a wounded silence on the other end before Finn finally replied, "This is yeti."
"I'm in position. The lioness should pass me by in a couple of seconds."
"Who?"
"Mercedes," Kurt enunciated. Then he straightened up as he noticed his friend. "Oh, my. We've got a problem. The dragon is in the lion's lair."
"Dude, what?"
"Tina is with her!"
"Oh. What are we gonna do, man?"
Kurt didn't hear him, though, looking around as his brain worked furiously on possible ways of separating the girls. Before he made his move, a hooded person walked up to the girls. They seemed to know them and they started talking. Kurt watched with amazement as not a while later Tina walked away with the hoodie and Mercedes waved at them, starting in the opposite direction on her own.
The countertenor frowned. There was something familiar about the hooded figure but they were too far away and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Whoever they were, they had just saved their whole intricate intrigue.
"Dude, it's on!" came Finn's voice on the radio and Kurt snapped out of it. "Get over here right now!"
"But that's not possible. Mercedes was just-" Kurt uttered and looked around bewildered. "-here," he finished meekly because she was nowhere in sight.
XxXxXxX
"What is this place? Kurt? You in here?" Mercedes stopped as the door closed behind her. Then her eyes zoomed in on the other person standing a couple of feet away. "Sam? What the-" she stopped, pieces of the puzzle suddenly clicking in place. "I don't care how many eyes he might lose, I am so gonna kick that boy's ass!" she mumbled angrily, turning around.
"Mercedes?" Sam chuckled, coming closer to her. "I thought Finn had me punk'd or something."
"Finn? White boy's in on it, too?" she asked, irked. "Why can't these people mind their own business!"
"Cuz they're our friends?" Sam supplanted with a soft smile. "And apparently they all see something you don't want to."
"Oh?" she asked skeptically, putting her hands on her hips. "And what might that be?"
"That we're meant for each other," he replied, his expression sincere and serious.
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Not that again," she grumbled but as the blonde leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, she didn't push him away.
To the contrary.
Peeking through the door, Finn grinned at Kurt.
"Dude, we are so awesome!"
"You mean to say I am so awesome," came a familiar voice from behind them.
They both turned and Kurt gasped. "Blaine? What are you doing here?" he asked as he took in the hoodie his boyfriend was wearing and realization dawned on him. "You've got a surgery in a couple of days!" he rebuked, his Florence Hummel-gale pout in place. "You should be in bed resting!"
"Kurt, I've been resting so much I got tired," Blaine objected wryly. "Seriously. When you told me about this little plan you've got going, I decided I'd shadow you just in case something went awry – and something did. Tina's at Barnes & Noble, by the way, I didn't kill her in a dark alley or something," he added with a smile.
Kurt still didn't look placated. "Blaine, you could lose your eye-"
"I could use a good distraction to not constantly think that I could lose my eye," the black-haired teen interrupted him, his voice steely.
Finn and Kurt exchanged a look.
"He did save the day," the taller teen put in with a weak smile and Kurt seemed to finally let go.
"Fine." Kurt sighed. "But after we're done, I'm carting your dapper, eye-patched butt home, Anderson," he stated categorically. Blaine chuckled and brushed a kiss over his temple.
The three of them looked on as the couple on the other side of the door kissed the living daylights out of each other.
"Okay, I think they've done enough 'figuring stuff out' for one day. We should really get back," Kurt urged.
"Right," Blaine agreed.
Nobody moved.
"You go get them," Kurt said, smirking at Blaine. "It's of your doing in the first place."
"Can't be scarier than getting a stone in the eye," Finn pointed out.
"I dunno," Blaine said. "I think I'd rather deal with an arrow in the eye than have to pry two lust-crazed adolescents off each other." He looked at Finn. "They're your best friends, you go peel them apart."
"Hey, Cedes is Kurt's best friend! And Sam really isn't-"
"Finn, it's just Mercedes and Sam," Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you afraid of?"
"Spiders," Finn said. "Heights. The number thirteen. Peanut butter..."
"It was a rhetorical question, Finnegan," Kurt interrupted with an eye roll.
"Oh," Finn said.
"Peanut butter?" the countertenor asked, biting his lip to keep himself from chuckling.
"Just shut up, dude."
"Love you, too."
And you've reached the end! I hope you liked this and if you're wondering whether to review, please do:) Your feedback is invaluable and so much fun to read!