In Loving Memory
'It's always worse when a loved one dies'.
'A loved one? I didn't think you knew the word love. I didn't think that there was any way that that time-bomb of a body of yours could care for anyone but yourself, let alone love someone'.
Nakadai looked up, his usually stern eyes now covered with a slight film of tears. His head fell forwards, hair covering his face, hiding his expression. A solitary tear danced upon his eyelashes, before softly falling to the floor. At that moment his long white coat seemed to dwarf his slender frame. He looked to Ryouga like a still young man playing grown up, which of course was what he'd always been.
Without thinking Ryouga reached forward, cupping Nakadai's chin in one hand, and brushing the hair from his eyes with his other.
The tears were now falling freely from Nakadai's eyes as slowly he looked up to meet Ryouga's inquisitive gaze.
'So you loved him too?' A ripple of a frown spread across the younger boy's face. 'I never knew, but maybe, maybe I should have guessed. You always hurt the ones you love the most.'
'So why am I hurting now?' Nakadai spoke, his voice shaking. So unlike the persona he usually played.
'We both are, Nakadai-sensei. It can't be helped.' Ryouga's voice trailed off, before adding, 'It's just fate.'
'Fate?' Nakadai turned his head away sharply. 'I don't believe in fate. Life is a game, we make our own destiny.'
Ryouga felt his lungs fill sharply as Nakadai broke their eye contact. A sudden pain shot through his chest, more intense than the ache that already resided there.
Feeling lost Ryouga reached into his pocket, pulling out a small white candle.
'I brought this,' he began hesitantly. ' I wanted to light it for Asuka'. Nakadai snorted with an attempt at contempt. 'Only, I forgot the matches. Do you possibly have a lighter?' Ryouga tried a hopeful smile, which fell lopsided at one corner of his mouth, as he cursed himself inwardly at his own ineptitude.
Nakadai reached into an inner pocket of his coat and flung a lighter towards the other man. Ryouga caught it in one hand, watching the emblem glint in the light. The lighter was black, inlayed with an encircled dinosaur footprint, all in gold.
'Was this…?' Nakadai nodded, unwilling to hear the name of its owner spoken out loud.
'Could you help me?' Ryouga slid to his knees, warming the bottom of the candle whilst Nakadai took a small dish from a nearby table to place on the floor. The melted base of candle stuck fast to the dish as the wax cooled into place.
Ryouga stretched the lighter out once more towards the candles taper. As he stretched forward, he felt Nakadai's hand encircle his wrist, abruptly pulling his hand back. For a moment the light from the small disposable flame danced across both of their faces, giving off a subtle warmth. Each man held mesmerised in the glowing vision of the other. With a small yelp, Ryouga let the lighter fall, its fire extinguishing as the pressure on the flint was released.
'You let me burn myself!' Ryouga exclaimed.
'You always hurt the ones you love.' Nakadai's reply was serious, his eyes shining intently as he leaned towards Ryouga.
'But what about Asuka?' Ryouga's lips quivered, his voice barely a whisper.
'Asuka's dead.'
Nakadai pulled Ryouga's hurt hand towards his lips, and kissed the pinkish mark that was beginning to spread. He raised his head to catch Ryouga's stare once more. His heart began to thump wildly. Nakadai's eyes became as enticing and captivating as the small flame had been. He found himself leaning forward being drawn towards the others magnetism.
Full soft lips brushed against each other. Arms reached out, hands grasped at clothing and skin. Fabric tore from their eagerness and fervour. Sorrow turned to passion. Their intensity of love turned fully towards each other.
They cared for nothing besides satiating their lust. Nothing existed besides their desire. In those moments they forgot everything, they forgot the Bakuryu, they forgot the Evolian, and they forgot their one witness, a lone candle in a dish, waiting for a flame that would never come.