Here's what's weird. I just found out this guy exsisted. Crap. I still think he would be good with romance. :D enjoy my sweet... and... enjoyable audience. ;D Enjoy KIDDIES! Hehehehehe... I make a horrible cryptkeeper. :(
Darkness covered the foggy, gloomy, friday night. The moon was the only light source.
Fog crowded a dark, eerie graveyard. A huge creepy house was in front of it. Now the house wasn't all that bad looking when you went Inside. Sure, it was a little dirty here, a little dirty there, but who cared? Inside the house was a room filled with voodoo items and weapons and dangerous equipment. Suddenly, a bony man laughed maniacally.
This bony man was the Cryptkeeper, but most people called him Keeper. He didn't have much hair and he looked like a corpse, which he was. Still, he was still a corpse, and that's why nobody went to his house. Well, not anymore since he ran out of business. But who cared? He was still awesome... a little bit.
"Oh who needs fans." Keeper said. "I Have my friends." He dialed Hannibal the Cannibal's number. Ring ring. Ring. Ring. "Hello." "Hello Han.." "Sorry, but you have reached my voice mail. I might be busy with something, or I'm eating my poor, yet delicious neighbors. Leave a message, and a finger." Beep.
"Hannibal." Keeper said. "I Know you're home, so don't ignore me. I know you're home. I know you're in bed watching tv so pick the phone I have important news." No answer. Keeper sighed and shook his head. "If you pick up the phone." He said calmly. "I'll give the head of my old neighbor." "Hi Keeper." "FINALLY!"
"Calm down dry skin!" Hannibal said. "Besides, what is so important?" "Come over and I'll tell you." "Will you give me the head?" "You'll find out when you get here!" "Ok." He hung up. Keeper sighed and shook his head.
"Lizzie... Lizzie Borden I know you're home! now pick u..." "Hello Keeper." "Lizzie, you need to come to my house right now." "Sure, I just finished using my new ax."
and so on and so forth, Keeper invited all of his ghoulish friends to his house. And they were bored out of their minds.
"This is taking forever!" Jason wailed. "Oh shut up." Freddy snapped. "He said he was gonna give me a Head." "I'll give you head." Lizzie said. "Really?" Hannibal asked, looking at her. "Yeah. You can have the head of my stepmom." "Cool. Gimme gimme gimme!" "No." "Aww."
"KEEPER! GET YOU BUTTLESS BUTT OUT HERE!" Everyone screamed. Keeper walked out. "Ok." He said. "Now you have all come here because you love me." "I Don't." "Shut up and pretend you do!" Keeper shouted. He sighed and calmed down. "Listen." He said. "I Feel like... it's stupid of me to think this, but I... it's just... I feel like nobody cares about me anymore... I... feel leftout."
"Keeper." Frakenstien's wife said. "You aren't left out." "Yes I am." keeper said. "I Mean, Frankenstein! You have your wife! Hannibal, you have had a mega super crush on Lizzie for, I dunno, 5 years now!" Hannibal blushed and looked over at Lizze. She was also blushing. "You like me?" She asked. Hannibal said nothing and looked away. "Thanks alot bonebag." He muttered to Keeper. Keeper ignored him.
"I Mean alot of you have settled down and got married and thought about having kids and then making babies and then what about me? I'm lonely. No body loves me." "KeKeeper" Lizzie coaxed. "It's not like that." "Is it Liz?" Keeper asked. "Is it? I mean, nobody comes or even bothers to come over to my house. No body calls me that much. No one sends me letters or gifts, or emails, or presents, and nobody wants to even look at me!" "No one wants to look at me." Jason said. "THAT'S NOT THE PONT!" Keeper shouted. Everyone blinked.
"Look." Keeper said. "I'm lonely, I'm hated, I'm ugly, I'm unloved, and I'm the most unpopular horror movie chracter." "I'm unpopular." Jason said. "JASON SHUT UP!" Keeper screamed. "NOBODY IS TALKING TO YOU!" Jason whimpered ad backed up. "It's not your ugliness." Lizzie. said. "it's your temper and youR creepiness." Hannibal said. "Hannibal." Keeper said. "Yeah?" "Do everyone a favor and go die Iin hole." Hannibal had his mouth dropped wide open.
"Hannibal." Lizzie said. "Just ignore him. He needs a wife." "There's barley any available women." Keeper growled. "Then look harder." Jason said. "Jason!" Keeper snapped. "What did I tell you?!" "Keeper two things!" Lizzie said. "One, shut up and leave Jason alone. and two, get a wife." She held Jason in a baby style and walked off. Everyone walked off also.
"You didn't solve my problems!" Keeper shouted. He walkedinside and slammed the door. He blinked. "Get myself a wife." He mummbled. "hmm."
Meanwhile
Far far away, well not that far, but in new york, a blone was working at her job as a phone operator. She was very beautiful. Tan skin. Perfect body. Hard to believe that her husband left her! Omg! She blue eyes pink lips, and long blonde hair.
"Ms Timber!" Alice Timber, the blonde that we were taliking about, gasped and looked around. She spun around, but went out of control. She tried to stop her chair with her feet, but they hit her desk and papers flew everywhere. She jumped out of her chair and tried to stack them neatly. A foot steeped on one paper that Alice was about to grab. She slowly looked up to see her boss.
"Mr Thomas!" She exclaimed. "Um... I..." "Ms. Timber." He said. "I would like to know why you've been making a mess everywhere." Alice blushed. Though beautiful, she was also a very clumsy woman who sometimes made a mess. She was also very stressful. "Mr. Thomas, I..." "We can't let you destroy this company by destroying everything you touch." Mr Thomas glared down at her. "You're fired." He said. Alice gasped. He walked off.
Alice quickly got up and ran after him. "Mr. Thomas," She begged. "Please! I had four children at home and we're poor and we need to get money. I need this job!" "I'm sorry." He said. "But you have been too clumsy long enough. People are coming tommorow to take your house." Alice blinked. "What?" She said, gasping. "I'm sorry." Mr. Thomas said. "But that's how it can't get money, you can't take care of your house. Good bye Ms. Timber." He walked off.
Alice stood there. Staring in daze.
Alice slowly walked to her car and drove home. Everything was falling apart. Everything was breaking. She gently parked it next to the road and began to cry. How was she going to take care of her four children, Sarah, Rose, Eric, and Emily?
Sarah, the oldest one. She is 16 years old. She had light blond hair and brown eyes. She use to be sweet, but when her dad left after Emily was born she pushed everyone away and was always moody. Alice missed her old sweet little girl.
Rose and Eric were twins, but they looked and acted nothing alike.
Rose was the middle oldest girl, since Eric is the only boy. Rose is 13 years old. She had brown hair and green eyes and had glasses. She was a coward and a lot more mature than a lot of the other children. She was pretty much scared of anything. Rose liked to read and sing. She really loved to sing, but after her father left, she hasn't sung since she was 8.
Eric, the only boy and most immature child, is 13 years old. He had red hair and freckles and brown eyes. He was a little overweight, but he just thought it was cool. He loved to play basketball and to rap. He use to stay away from bullies, but since his father left, he began to hang out with them so he can be cool. Alice didn't know what that child was thinking.
and last of all, but not least, Emily. She was 4 years old and was the sweetest child in the group. She had long brown hair, smooth skin, and deep dark brown eyes. She was very cheerful and happy, but she never knew her father. She was only a newborn when he left. Alice was grateful that Emily never knew her dad.
"What am I gonna do?"Alice muttered. "How will I protect my children?" She was very scilent. She took a long deep sigh and started her car. She began to drive off.
Hours later
"I Hope Sarah is taking care of them." Alice said to herself. "I Hope that-MY HOUSE!" Alice drove up to see trucks and men around her house. The men were taking stuff out and putting them in the truck.
Alice quickly parked her car and ran out towards the men. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. "It seems you owe your boss much money, so we're just taking what you don't need anymore." "But that's my furniture and my other stuff." Alice said. "Sorry ma'am." The man said. "But it's how it must be." He walked off.
Alice suddenly remembered her children. she ran off to find them. "Sarah!" She called out. "Rose! Emily! Eric!" "Put my basketball down!" Alice looked to see Rose and Eric arguing with one of the workers. He had Eric's basketball. "Put it down!" Eric shouted. Rose held him back from fighting with him. "Uh, s-s-s-s-sir." Rose sturred timidly. "Please p-p-put my brother's basketball d-d-down."
"Sorry kid." The worker said, but you're mom owes your boss money." He walked off. "Yeah!" Eric shouted. "Walk away and be wimp! Fight me like a man!... he's not coming back is he?" "Nope." Rose said. "Rose! Eric!" Alice ran up to her two children and hugged them. "Mom, what's going on?" Eric asked.
"No time to explain." Alice said. "Right now, we have to find Emily and Sarah." "They're at the store." "THEY'RE WHAT?"
At the store
Sarah held Emily's hand as they walked down the store. They were in the clothes ile. Sarah picked up a pink dress with laces and showed it to Emily. "What do you think?" She asked. Emily shook her head. "Uh uh." She said all cutely. Sarah glared at her. "What do you know?" She snapped. "You're just a baby." "And you are in huge trouble young lady!" Sarah quickly looked to see her mother and her two younger siblings.
"Uh oh." Emily giggled. "Sissy in trouble."
Alice quickly picked Emily up and glared at Sarah. "You were supposed to watch Emily, Rose, and Eric at the house. Not leave Eric and Rose and take Emilywith you so you can go shopping." "Rose and Eric are 13 mom." Sarah said. "They can take care of themselves." "Not if Rosie lets bubby blow up the house." Emily giggled. "I Wouldn't let him do that." Rose snapped. "... well not that much."
"And I wouldn't blow up the house." Eric snapped. "... Well not that much."
"Ok, change of subject." Alice snapped. "Sarah, our house has been tooken away from us." Sarah looked at her mother as if she was crazy. "What did you do Now?" "Listen here princess!" Eric snapped. "Mom didn't do anything, for your Iinformation. She just owes her boss money." "That's still doing something, guineas." Sarah said. Eric looked around. "Uh... no it's not."
"The point is!" Rose snapped, interupting everyone. "We have no home, we need a place to stay, we have a few things left that are in the car, and most importantly," She took the money away from Sarah. "We aren't gonna let you waste our money by buying crap." Sarah growled at her. "Now listen her you stuttering freak..." "Enough!"
everyone looked at Alice. She looked like she was going to cry. "Listen." She mummbled. "The men told me that if I don't pay my boss in one month, they'll take all of you away." Everyone was scilent. "Say what?" Eric maneged to say. "Yes," Alice said "So we need a place to stay." "I Know where we can stay!" Eric cheered. Sarah and Rose exchanged glances. "Oh no." Sarah whimpered.
"Ok, now go left." Alice went left. "Keep going strait and...t there!" He pointed to a huge graveyard, with a creepy gate and the most creepiest manision that anyone had ever seen.
Oh my, looks like the Timber family has stummbled across old Crypty's house. What shall happen next? Tbc!
Oh and btw, don't be all mean to me, this isI my first tales from the crypt fanfic... don't you judge me! And I don't know a lot of horror movies so yeah. -_-