-AARON LIVESY-

– BEHIND CLOSED DOORS –

"One Foot Wrong"

Fourteen and a half years and what a miserable excuse for a life it was so far. Aaron Livesy did not have any kind of relationship with his mother, he barely knew her he never wanted to know her. In fact when he visited the village of Emmerdale all those years ago on and off when he was younger he caused as much trouble as he could. Well, now...that was a huge regret because he could have been living there if he showed any interest in his mum and behaved; he could have been living there it was better than living on one of the run down shoddy council estates of Hotten with his dad Gordon Livesy.

Now for some reason the harsh darkened reality of his situation with his dad struck him hard, it confused him however because the reality of it all was staring him in the face and had been since the first time it happened he just never realised. He was scared and alone with no one to reach out to, no one to help him and he didn't dare run.

The wind howled outside, it was a dark stormy night and the heating wasn't on, Aaron shivered – yet another bill unpaid. Gordon was a drunk, he had been ever since his last girlfriend left him almost six months ago and a few weeks after that he went on the 'sick' and was only getting paid the basic allowance and the benefits they got were crap. Aaron knew this because he saw the letters displaying the amounts and he'd seen his dad's pay slip that got posted every month. He still had his job because he gave them a doctor's note every month explaining his depression.

Aaron tutted as he thought about it all, he wiped his eyes and sighed, his dad wasn't suffering depression, he was suffering from alcoholism and he should be fired and left to rot!

Aaron got up to his feet and crept along the floorboards to the door of his bedroom, he pulled the handle down slowly and opened the door and peaked out, the landing light was on but he couldn't hear him. He let out a breath of relief, he looked at the bathroom which was directly opposite and he made a move for it. He stopped suddenly when the boards creaked under his feet. He shut his eyes tight. Nothing would happen it would all go away. It never did.

"Aaron!" A drunken scream from Gordon came from the living room. Then the voice was closer as he stumbled up the stairs. "I told you to get to bed!" he glared at his son who was stood frozen, his eyes shut facing the floor.

"I-..." he swallowed.

"You what!" Gordon yelled.

"I-I needed the toilet" he explained quietly.

Gordon then reached out and pushed his son violently into the bathroom causing Aaron to hit his eyebrow off the edge of the door. "Go on then!" he growled.

Aaron closed his eyes and stood on the spot; he only moved his arm and swung the door shut behind him. Once the door hid him he turned and closed it properly and put the lock on the door despite hearing his dad retreat back down the stairs.

...

His school uniform was dishevelled, un-ironed and most of all hadn't even been washed. He sighed as he pulled the jumper down over his head. He stood in the bathroom and stared at his bruised forehead just above his eyebrow where he hit his head off the door during the night. He picked up his tub of hair gel and sighed some more, it was almost gone. He swiped the gel through his hair, if he couldn't look decent in the clothes he was wearing he at least tried to make an effort with his hair, an aspect of his appearance he had control over. He couldn't use the washer, what fourteen year old lad did? He depended on his dad for that, always had, but six months ago that seemed to all change.

Aaron left the bathroom and grabbed his school bag from his room and headed down stairs, the door to the living room was open and he walked in, the room was dull, the blinds were closed, they always were and the coffee table was littered with crumpled empty cans of lager, some were on the floor by the sofa aswell as vodka bottles and a few pizza boxes. The room stunk of lager and days old food. Aaron looked at his dad lying on the sofa. "Dad" he spoke quietly and Gordon mumbled. "I've got no hair gel left"

Gordon lifted himself up onto his elbow and frowned at Aaron, his head was throbbing and he felt ill. "Hair gel?" Gordon spat.

Aaron swallowed hard as he looked down at the old worn carpet. "Yeah" he said, it was almost a whisper but Gordon had heard him and Aaron looked up when he heard the sounds of coins jingling together.

Gordon pulled his hand out of his pocket and threw the few coins at Aaron. Aaron flinched and backed off slightly as the copper coins fell around him. Aaron knelt down and picked them up, he sighed and looked sad. "That's ten pence" he said quietly.

"Exactly!" Gordon spat and settled himself back down and closed his eyes.

Aaron shook his head and began to walk away. "But you can afford alcohol!" he called back as he quickened his pace and unlocked the door as quick as he could and ran out and ran down the street as fast as he could. When he left the estate he stopped and rested against a neatly cut hedge and got his breath. He shook his head and carried on now, walking calmly with his hands in his pockets and his head down.

As he walked through the school gates and down into the quad, other students purposely bumped into him as they passed and yelled abuse at him, all the while he kept his head down and didn't retaliate.

The morning had gone quickly, he ignored the whispers in his lessons about the smell coming from him, and he didn't smell it was the clothes. His reasoning anyway and he ignored the harsh words being hurled at him. He wanted to be invisible; no one could hurt him then. It was lunchtime and the quad was quieter while the majority of his school year had lunch in their respective house blocks, some still pottered around but he was out of the way sitting on the steps that were the length of the main hall, behind him was the long glass wall of windows occasionally halted by the doors of the hall.

He turned his head as Kyle sat beside him. He took a deep breath, he swallowed hard. Kyle, the boy he revelled in staring at while playing football, when he could get out of the house anyway. He frowned at him as he held out a sandwich wrapped in cling film. "What's this?" Aaron asked quietly.

"Well you aren't having dinner, and you don't have a packed lunch so there ya go..."

"I forgot to make one and my dad he uh, he hadn't been to the bank" Aaron looked away as he lied. His dad had no money to take out of the bank until his next lot of money went in and he had nothing in the house to make a sandwich with.

"Just take it mate, I grabbed something in the canteen" Kyle pulled a wary face and chuckled. "Wasn't meant too, the money was to get stuff for my mum for the tea..."

Aaron smiled slightly; sometimes he forgot how to do that – smile. "Thanks" he reached out and took the sandwich from him.

"The washers broke aswell" he mumbled as he un-wrapped the cling film. Another lie.

"I heard people talking about you" Kyle nodded. "Don't listen to them mate and the smell it's not too bad" Kyle shook his head and smiled at him.

Aaron smiled and bit into the sandwich.

Kyle looked on ahead as he rested his arms on the tops of his legs then he turned to Aaron who was clearly hungry. "What happened to your head?" Kyle asked as he noticed the harsh purple bruise.

"I tripped on the landing and hit it off the corner of the door" Aaron explained.

"Ouch, careful next time mate" Kyle chuckled as he stood up. "Oh got a game of footy later if you wanna come by and watch, even play if you like?"

Aaron looked up at him as he thought about it, his dad wouldn't be happy but he didn't care. "Yeah alright I'll come and watch, not playing though" he laughed. "Just on the green at home?"

Kyle nodded. "Yeah yeah on the estate, see ya later mate"

Aaron smiled slightly as he watched him go.

...

School was over thankfully, but at the same time it was a new week, Monday was over but the rest of the week had to be endured and even then the weekend had to be endured also, he never had anything to look forward too. He walked home alone and stopped by the happy shopper store. Everyone shopped there where he lived, it was cheap enough, he took a breath and walked in, there were a few locals wandering the few aisles and they nodded and smiled at him. He smiled back and walked down the first aisle he kept his hands in his pocket and scanned the shelves slowly.

"Oh hello love"

Aaron looked up at the familiar voice and smiled at Mrs. Robinson; she was elderly and lived next door to him and his dad. "Hi"

"Good day at school love?"

Aaron scrunched his face and shrugged. "It was alright" he sighed. "Boring"

Mrs. Robinson chuckled. "Boys" she chuckled and Aaron smiled back. "So what you buying then?"

"Erm, nothing really just fancied a look"

Mrs. Robinson nodded. "Well then love I'll let you get on, this baskets getting heavy, see you later"

"Yeah see ya..." he told her and carried on walking down the aisle, nothing sparked his interest, not that he had any money to buy anything if something did. He rounded the corner and walked up the next aisle, the first few bays of shelves were filled with shampoos, conditioners, soaps, hairspray and deodorants for both sexes and then cheap tubs of hair gel including the one he used. He sighed and traced his finger along the shelf. He looked around, there was no staff on the floor and the cashier was preoccupied, he took a breath and quickly grabbed a tub and shoved it in his pocket, he remained calm and continued looking as he was before so no one thought anything untoward had happened, he looked around the next aisle and walked to the door he entered through and left. He walked up the street for a few metres and rounded a corner onto the estate and let out a shaky breath. He'd never shoplifted before. He looked around when he heard yelling and he continued walking until he reached the green where the lads were playing football, he sat on the top of a slight hill that sloped down onto the green. He dreaded going home but for now he was okay, quite happy to watch the lads playing football.

When he watched Kyle, he was fascinated and he could feel his heart quicken, he didn't know what it meant, or maybe he did but he couldn't think about that, he swallowed hard and shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind. He'd heard other dads and his own using choice words to describe gays or the more appropriate term, homosexuals; Aaron feared he was in fact that, gay but as young as he was? He shook his head, he hated the idea he was straight.

...

It was dark when he pushed open the front door; the other lads had gone home too as he left the green. He took a breath and his dad appeared in the passageway, leaning against the wall, drunk as usual. "School ended hours ago, it's after eight o clock..."

"I was with some mates" Aaron explained, keeping his gaze away from his dad.

"Mates?" Gordon laughed. "You don't have any mates, who'd want to be your mate anyway! Pathetic" he took a breath and wiped his brow. "There's some soup in the kitchen"

Oh wow, the joys of soup. Aaron flicked up his eyebrows. "Great" he mumbled and walked along the passageway, passed his dad and walked into the kitchen and saw a bowl set out waiting. He picked it up and put it into the microwave for a few minutes then took out the hair gel from his pocket and hid it on top of the fridge.

Aaron then turned and walked back along to the stairs to head up to his room to get changed out of his uniform. But a firm grip pulled him back as he stepped onto the first stair. He fell back into his dad's chest and then his hand gripped tightly around his neck and flung him onto the floor, hitting the wall in the process. Second later he screamed out loudly as Gordon loomed over him kicking him to shreds, his stomach, his legs his chest, his face anywhere he wanted.

Aaron cried loudly as his body was brutally under assault. He should have been used to this now but every time he either cried or endured it silently. The next thing he knew he was being pulled up and held against the wall. "Think I'd forgotten your smart jibe at me this morning hmm?" he screamed in his face.

"No" Aaron wept. "I-I just wanted a pound, it's not expensive, the gel it's not" he shook his head, his breath hitching as he spoke. "I don't use the expensive stuff" he cried. "Please don't hurt me again"

Gordon shook him and flung his fist into his son's face, blood instantly poured from his nose and he punched once more knocking his head to the side. Aaron placed his hand onto his forehead and he felt his dad walking away and he slumped down the wall.

Hours later his dad was in bed, it was after midnight and Aaron was stood in the kitchen scrubbing his uniform in the sink full of soapy water, crying silently as he did so. He didn't want to be picked on anymore, he didn't even know if he was doing it right but surely it wouldn't smell, the soap smelt nice, he wanted his clothes to smell like that, not like they had done earlier that day.

His entire body hurt, when he'd showered a few hours before he could see the bruises forming on his naked body and his face was swollen and slowly turning and shade darker as more bruises formed there. He didn't know how he'd explain this, he knew to outsiders this happened often but he always covered it up, he'd have to again because on some twisted, unhinged level that man upstairs was his father.

TBC...