Korra would be the first to admit that she was a proud person. Truthfully, she was proud to be a proud person. She was proud that she'd been born with the ability to master all four elements, and proud that she'd begun to learn to do so at such an early age, and proud that she never gave up, and proud that she came from a southern water tribe family with loving parents, and so many other things. Yes, she was a proud person. After all, she'd worked hard to get to where she'd been before Amon…
Where she'd been.
As she stared out over the icy sea surrounding the glacier that held her home, she felt a tear slide down her face. The wind bit into the wet streak it left behind, chilling her skin in the Antarctic weather, but she did nothing to wipe it away. It fell down the ice cliff she stood on, disappearing from sight.
This had been where she'd grown up. Her natural element was water more than anything else, and she knew it. After the fight with Amon, she'd been brought here instead of Katara being brought to Repbulic City because everyone had thought that it would give her familiarity and comfort.
It didn't.
It just reminded her of what she'd lost.
Her knees gave out from under her as a giant sob escaped from her throat. Before she knew it, she'd fallen to the snow as tears streamed down her cheeks only succeeding in making her colder. That, of course, didn't help, so she shifted in the snow, bringing her knees up to her chest and burying her head in her arms.
Everything she'd worked for and everything she'd thought she could be…gone. Just like that. Who could she protect now? She done a pretty poor job when she could bend three elements, and now she only had one at her disposal…and it wasn't even her base element.
Maybe Amon had been right in taking her bending. Maybe she didn't really deserve it after all.
For the first time in her life, she wondered why she'd been chosen to be the avatar. Whose bright idea had that been? Some deity's? The previous avatars? Random chance? That last one sounded about right. She'd thought she'd literally been born to become the avatar as it had suited her personality in almost every way, but now…
A flash of color out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Red and yellow.
"Not now, Tenzen," she muttered. "I just want to be alone."
"But you called me here." Korra's eyes widened and she whirled around. That wasn't Tenzen's voice, that was…
"Aang," she whispered, shock and surprise coming over her.
It was funny, because he didn't even look like a spirit to her. She'd expected something transparent, monochromatically toned and glowing or…well…something.
The man seemed to read her thoughts because he smiled. It did so much to reassure her.
"You've finally connected with your spiritual self," he said in the calm, steady voice she'd come to associate with many of the people she truly looked up to and respected. It helped to calm her nerves, even as his words confused her.
"But how?" she asked as she moved to stand.
His smile only grew. "When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change."
Korra blinked, and for just a second, she thought she saw the other Avatars standing behind him, stretching out so far she couldn't see the end of them, but she felt them. She felt a connection to each one of them…
And then it was gone, and only Aang stood before her.
"I don't understand," she said after a moment. "Amon took my bending away. I…" she paused and looked down, ashamed to meet his eyes. "I'm not the Avatar any more."
"Oh, Korra," Aang said, his voice even softer and full of empathy. "Just because you cannot bend all of the elements doesn't mean you're not the Avatar any more. You can still bring balance to the world."
"How?"
"By trying."
She couldn't help but stare incredulously at him.
Patiently, he continued. "You saved the city and so many of the benders in the city and the world because of your actions. If you had not exposed Amon he would have torn the soul of every bender he'd come across. What he doesn't understand is that our world needs benders, and they are born for a reason. Tearing that out of someone's soul will only damage them severely, sometimes irreparably."
Korra felt a bitterness twinge her heart painfully. "Yeah, I know."
"Which is why you can help them heal, Korra."
She felt her fists clench at her sides. "I don't want to! I don't want to leave the South Pole ever again! I'm supposed to help them heal?! What about my healing? How can I help them if I'm not whole myself?!"
Aang's face fell ever so slightly, and she didn't much care for the pitying expression that fell across his face. "Korra, you have lost much. Now you need to focus on what you've gained, because no one ever loses anything without gaining something in turn. Return to Republic City. They still need you there."
Korra shut her eyes, feeling more tears gather at the corners in her frustration. Then she opened them and her mouth to tell him exactly where he could stick his advice, but no one stood there. She could only see a seemingly endless expanse of white snow on one side, and dark blue sea on the other.
Yelling out a scream in frustration, she fell to the ground and slammed her hand into the hard ice and snow, causing them to throb painfully. She didn't care.
After a moment she sat back on her haunches and glanced out over the freezing sea again. His words ran through her mind over his words again and again, but she found little comfort in them. She focused on them harder, ignoring her surroundings and trying to find a meaning to everything that had just happened, not even noticing the cold air try to steal the warmth from her body as her mind couldn't seem to focus on anything else. She didn't want to move until she had a solution or relief.
She sat there all day.
When the sinking sun finally began to register to her, she stood and turned to see a shivering young man huddled next to Naga.
"Mako!" she exclaimed, running over to him. "What are you doing here?"
"J-just wanted t-to make sure y-y-you were al-alr-right," he shivered.
Despite her despondent mood, she couldn't help but smile. "You idiot," she muttered, holding out her hand. "Come on, let's go." He took the offered appendage and stood as she motioned for Naga to get up. The polar-bear dog did so, waiting patiently as they mounted her.
They didn't say anything for the entire ride back. Whether that was because he felt too cold or because he read her mood, she didn't know, but she was grateful for it.
xXx
It took her forever to get to sleep that night. She'd put her hopes on Katara's healing powers, just barely hanging on to that thread. It had been what had gotten her through the days following her confrontation with Amon. Now she didn't have anything it seemed.
The depression that Aang had chased away returned twofold and she could only cry herself to sleep that night.
xXx
Mako paced anxiously in front of Korra's door as he had been doing for the last several hours. Korra had locked herself in her room and refused to let anyone enter. He had half a mind to burn it down, but Asami, Bolin and Katara had all somehow managed to talk him out of it (despite the fact that they seemed to feel about the same).
He wasn't sure how long his patience would last. Korra was hurting more than ever, and he hated feeling so utterly useless. The worst part, though, was the fact that she wouldn't let them help.
He glanced outside again, trying to get glimpse at the time with no success. If they'd been in Republic City, he wouldn't have a problem telling time, but here, where only a few hours of sunlight touched the land, he had no inkling at all whatsoever. For about the hundredth time, he cursed himself for forgetting his wristwatch. He remembered Korra once saying that half of the year in the South Pole was spent in darkness and the other half in light because of how the Earth rotated. Amon had attacked Republic City at the end of winter, and they'd brought Korra down to the South Pole as quickly as they could, but it had still taken weeks before Tenzen and the government officials that remained could fix political situation to a point where he felt they could A: travel safely and B: leave the city and hope to come back to it standing in one piece.
The people, it seemed, were still angry at the benders. Amon had woken a sleeping dragon, so to speak. At least now wanted a new solution—a less devastating one that wouldn't verge on war.
The officials still hadn't been able to come up with an answer to the problem that both the benders and non-benders would agree to, but a temporary truce had fallen over the city. Still, Mako knew that Tenzen would insist on returning shortly.
Mako's frown deepened as Korra's words from the day before drifted into his mind and he couldn't help but clench his fists tighter. "Go back to RepublicCity and get on with your life." Get on with what life? He doubted Pro-Bending would be back in full swing for months if not years, not with people still so resentful of benders. Besides, he'd come to the conclusion that he couldn't leave Korra now—not like this—no matter what she said.
He hadn't told Asami that yet, although from her expression he'd bet she'd already guessed. To her and Bolin's credit, both of them hadn't seemed to want to leave Korra's side either, and they'd situated themselves against the wall on the side of the room, both looking about as depressed as he knew Korra felt.
A sudden click from the direction of Korra's door interrupted his thoughts and had all of them shifting and standing anxiously.
"Korra," Mako heard himself say as she came into view. Her eyes still looked swollen and red, and she'd obviously been crying fairly recently. No surprise there, but even he could tell something had changed since the day before.
"Mako," she replied, blinking and freezing at seeing him.
"Hey, Korra," Bolin said softly. Asami didn't say anything, but her face held nothing but concern. Mako found himself reminded of why he'd begun to date her to begin with, even if it had been a mistake on his part.
"Asami, Bolin," she said, almost as if she hadn't expected them to be there. "What are you all doing here?"
Bolin sniffed. "Oh come on," he said in annoyance. "Did you really think we'd all go back to Republic City just because you can't bend all four elements anymore? Yeah, that was cool and all, but we wouldn't just leave you!"
Mako wanted to plant his forehead directly into his palm (or the wall) several times. His brother did not know the meaning of the word 'tact'.
Asami seemed to think the same thing, as she stepped forward to do damage control. "What he means to say is we're here for you Korra. We don't care whether you're the Avatar or not. We're your fiends."
"Yeah! You could have lost all your bending and we'd still be here!"
"But—" Korra started, but Mako cut her off.
"Korra, if you're staying here than we are too. Or, at least I am."
The brown-haired girl blinked and leaned back as she stared at him in surprise.
"You were right the first time," Bolin huffed. "I'm staying!"
"It's not like I have anything to return to," Asami muttered bitterly.
For some reason, that seemed to jolt Korra out of the minor trance she'd fallen into.
"Asami…" she said softly. Then, to all of their great surprise, she bowed. "I apologize," she said.
Bolin's legs gave out on him and he fell to the ground. Korra rarely apologized, and never like this.
"You all have gone through hardships too," she glanced over at Asami briefly as she stood straight again. "Especially you. It took me a while to realize that I'm not the only one hurting and—"
"Did I hear Korra?" a voice from the next room over asked. Everyone looked behind them to see Elder Katara standing in the door. The old woman smiled warmly. "It's good to see you, child," she said before glancing over her shoulder and into the room behind her. "She's come out."
"Korra!" Korra's mother came rushing past Katara and threw her arms around the girl. "Oh, Korra I…" she paused then stood straight, keeping her hands on her daughter's. "I'm sure you're hungry, and just in time too! I just got dinner finished."
Apparently, that was just what the Avatar needed to hear, as she smiled warmly. "Thanks, mom." The woman turned to leave as Korra's father placed an arm on his daughter's shoulder.
"Oh," Korra said. "I have something I need to tell you." All eyes fell on her and she shifted nervously (very unlike the Korra Mako knew). "I've decided to return to Republic City to complete my airbending training."
Various expressions of shock fell over all of those present in the crowded hallway outside of Korra's room.
"What brought this on?" Elder Katara asked.
Korra seemed to get even shier. "I…I talked to Aang."
A look of understanding, surprise and (unsurprisingly) pain fell over the old woman's face. "What did he say?"
The current Avatar took a deep breath that seemed to calm her nerves. "He said that Republic City still needs me. At first, I didn't want to go. I still don't. But…I would hate myself if I stayed here for the rest of my life because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?" Bolin asked. "I mean Amon's gone, so no one can take your airbending away."
"Bolin!" Mako hissed.
"What?" Bolin asked.
His older brother just glared poisonously at him.
"Actually," Korra said, "it's because I'm afraid of something else. I have a lot of painful memories there, and I'd be lying if I said I don't want to face them. But I'm not going to let myself be that weak because that would be letting Amon win…and I can't do that. I won't do that."
Silence hung over the room as her words sunk in. Then Mako felt himself smile. That was the Korra he'd fallen for. It felt good to have her back.
"I'll ask if Tenzen will take me back," she said.
"Of course I will," said a new voice from the door. "I can't fathom why you thought you'd need to ask." With that, he walked past his mother and the others and up to Korra, putting his arms around her in a rare show of affection. "You, Korra, are always welcome."
She smiled weakly, but Mako could tell that it was heart-felt. "Thank you, Tenzen," she whispered.
"Alright," Korra's mother said warmly. "Please follow me to the kitchen. I've made a water tribe feast!"
Korra's eyes suddenly lit up. "Were you able to get sea prunes?" she asked softly.
Her mother smiled mischievously. "Well, it is pretty early for them, and they're still young, but…"
"Mom, you're amazing!" Korra grinned.
"Wait," Bolin stepped in. "I eat authentic water tribe food all the time, and I've never had sea prunes! I've never even heard of them!"
"You'll see why soon," Tenzen said, his usual serious and somewhat melancholy voice back in place as he led the way to the kitchen.
Later that night, Bolin would secretly tell his brother how glad he was that that particular dish hadn't reached Republic City yet. Mako would only heartily agree.
xXx
They made good time back to Air Temple Island. As Korra slid down off of the large Sky-bison's back, she couldn't help but smile sadly at the familiar sight of the newest Air Temple.
They'd dropped Asami off at her father's mansion before heading back here. She said she was determined to take over his business and make a good name out of it, for her whole family's sake. It wouldn't be easy, but at least she didn't have to start from scratch.
Korra secretly thought that Asami really wanted to bury her memories in some kind of work. Her father had been convicted of war crimes, and he refused to even see his daughter. She couldn't imagine how much that would hurt. How could family do that to one another? How could a father do that to his child? It baffled (and angered) Korra as the very thought of her own father doing anything like that back at the South Pole seemed utterly ludicrous.
She did, however, know what it felt like to lose something very dear to her. She and Asami had connected with each other on the trip back somehow, although neither one had spoken to the other much. She also seemed to be able to empathize more with both Bolin and Mako and their losses.
Asami had asked if they had wanted to stay with her, and surprisingly enough, Bolin had taken her offer. Mako hadn't. Korra didn't want to think why he didn't, and she most especially didn't want to see the expression on Asami's face when he'd refused ever again.
Just one more thing to add to her list of guilt.
Instead, he'd been given a room at the Air Temple on Tenzen's request. He'd said it would be no trouble seeing as they still had several other guests as well, most of them being the leaders of the armed forces that had taken temporary residence in the town.
She'd been avoiding looking at or talking to Mako the whole trip back. It just felt so…awkward, and she didn't know why. Now, as she finished taking her few belongings to her own quarters, she was not surprised to see him leaning against the wall outside the door to her room.
"Hey, Korra," the firebender said as he stood straight in greet. "Look, I…" he started awkwardly, but she cut him off with the best smile she could muster at the moment (which admittedly wasn't that good, but it would have to do).
"Hey, Mako. Um, look I really just want to be alone and settle in right now, okay?"
She saw the hurt flash through his eyes for just a moment before he sighed and nodded, forcing a much more realistic smile onto his own face. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah," she agreed half-heartedly. She didn't come out of her room that night either, but thankfully, no one came to get her. She couldn't help but be grateful.
She didn't want anyone to see her crying again.
xXx
So there you have it. Aang doesn't restore her bending. It really bugged me how fast the last of the season went. Now, I would love to say this will be updated soon, but I'll probably be lucky to get another update by the beginning of the year. ^^; None of my usual sounding boards want anything to do with this really, so if anyone wants to beta this or discuss things about it, I'd love that. :) Just send me a note.