Turning Tide
(This is how New Moon in my eyes would have been, if Bella had chosen Jacob)
"Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair. If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow." Pg 376, copywrited by Stephanie Meyer. I own none of these characters or places.
My stomach churned as I began to put my thoughts into action. Edward would have wanted me to move on, wouldn't he? I couldn't convince myself that he had left me to be miserable forever. Surely some small part of him was friendly enough to still wish that for me.
Taking a deep breath, I turned my head and pressed my lips to Jake's burning shoulder. I felt him stiffen in surprise. I quickly pulled way, wondering if I had gone too far. I had not considered Jake's reaction. I had only anticipated that he would happy. Had I assumed wrong?
But in the next minute, everything changed. In that instant that I had pulled way, I had caught a quick glimpse of Jacob's startled expression. And then he was kissing me so intensely; I had no more room to worry about anything. My breath came in short gasps as I fought for air. In only a few seconds, our easy friendship had become something more. We had finally crossed that thin line dividing us.
My face burned in his smoldering hands. His warmth seemed to radiate from every part of his being. His lips moved with mine, making up for every moment they had been apart. I could almost feel his unspoken joy as his hands tangled in my hair. I tightened my arms around his neck to steady myself as my head reeled. His hot breath smelled sweet as it tickled my cheek.
But I couldn't help but think of Edward. Was this what he would have wanted? I felt sure he would say yes if I could have asked him.
I gently unlocked my hold on Jake, and pushed against his bare chest. "Come on," I whispered, opening the truck door. " Charlie'll be home soon." The last thing my dad needed was to witness Jacob and I kissing in my truck. Especially after his best friend's funeral.
"Bella … does this mean you've changed your mind?" He asked, careful not to voice the name he meant. How was it that he knew so much about me? I was sure I had never mentioned discomfort to anyone.
I hesitated on my answer. In a way, I had changed my mind. I had accepted how he felt, and had decided to try to love him. This love was not the same as the love I had for Edward, but Jacob was my best friend, my safe harbor. I had given a small bit of the love Edward didn't want, to Jake. "Yes" I breathed. After all, it was partly true.
Jacob broke into a huge smile, the smile I loved best. I couldn't help but grin back. He came around the truck to put his hands on my shoulders. His dark eyes looked into mine; smile still etched on his face. Maybe now was the time to tell him that all I was a shell. That maybe over time I would get better. But for now all I could offer was a small piece of my heart. Someone as good as Jacob should know. " Jake, I have something … important that you need to know." I cringed as his smile began to fade. " I'm not completely whole. I can only give you a part of me until I heal. You deserve so much more than what I can give."
Without a word, he pulled me into his russet arms, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Is that what you're worried about Bella? That you're not enough ? You've just made me the happiest guy … well, werewolf, ever. I'd accept you even if you stunk like a bloodsucker." Jacob chuckled softly in my ear. As I took his hand, I knew that I had made the right choice.