Just thought that I should take a crack at writing a Soul Calibur story. Hell, it seems fun enough. Successful or not, I damn sure going to enjoy contributing volumes to this section. This piece is going to be kind of AU, because of my knack for writing humor but I hope that the readers can forgive for that. I do not own the Soul Calibur franchise, Namco does. Nor do I own whatever guest characters that will show up in this story.

Now with that out of the way, let's kick this thing off.

SOUL CALIBUR

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE SPRINGTIME

CHAPTER ONE

DREAMS THAT ARE NOT QUITE DRY

My reflection... she mused to herself. It was clear, there wasn't a thing around here that could keep her from gazing at it. The oh-so-perfect springtime weather denied her any hindrance from perfect view. As she scrutinizes her very vision upon the surface of the water, she wondered if beauty is truly is only in the eyes of the beholder. I should have known better... the reflection never lies.

For as long as should could remember, she was not a stranger to beauty. Growing up in the Ming Empire, people often complimented on her good looks. From admiration in during her childhood, to being a recipient of many infatuations in her adolescent and teen years from males her age (and in a few cases, females as well), and to predictions of growing up to be a very beautiful woman from her very mother-- she blushed at the very memories. Chai just knew that she could attract any man that she desired. She was completely positive about it all. Oh yes, this was all good... or so she thought.

So, what's stopping her from winning her companion's affections?

Don't get her wrong, though. The man named Kilik was a very good friend of hers. It was conspired by fate for them to meet each other years ago. And they went through thick and thin in their quest to vanquish the remains of Soul Edge. In the generations to come, she can share many anecdotes about tales of the cursed sword alone. That is, if she were to ever have any children.

But, she decided, that her relationship with Kilik should be more than just a fleeting camaraderie. That was a notion that has been harassing her for months now. There was no denying the fact that she was attracted to him-- that much she knew. But did Kilik felt the same way about her as she about him? Plus, she was really getting tired of him saying that they are just mere 'friends' to inquisitive women that they just so happen to meet on their travels. The concept of her being 'friends' with Kilik was annoying the hell out of her!

Damn it! Something has to be done about this shit!

Here she is, at the ripe age of twenty (or was it twenty-one?) and there was no real progress being made with him. Maybe he doesn't find me attractive? Xianghua thought to herself bitterly. Does he find me immature? That's what that peon Maxi thought of me once. If he does... why would he? Laughter is good for the soul, that's what mama said to me, at least. She tore her gaze from her reflection on the water's surface and faced Kilik whom was training several yards away among the meadows. He was training with his weapon of kismet: the Kali-Yuga.

His movements were quite graceful, and with such a rod at his disposal too...

Xianghua wanted to slapped herself after the nasty thought that suddenly invaded her mind. She liked the guy, but she never would have imagined that she would fiend over him like that! Or would she? There's been quite a few incidents when she really did. The girl was straight up territorial when it comes to him! She would become as murderous as a rhino even when a woman took a fleeting glance at Kilik. However, this wasn't any of Kilik's fault. He was one of many God's gift to women. Of course, I did typed that last line just to give the Kilik fan girls a little something-something, but this is actually part of the story.

Xianghua couldn't complain about Kilik's countless admirers. She was glad to have a friend that was worth praising by others. That fact used to bother her but now it just didn't. Hell, girls will be girls. And speaking of girls... boy, don't get this girl started, man! There's this girl, a highly peculiar girl, that can actually acquire Kilik's attention with hardly any effort. Xianghua pouted at the very thought of the said girl.

This girl... goes by the name... Seong Mina.

The young Ming native scowled in a highly burlesque way just now. Seong Mina... she knew that she couldn't stand Mina but that girl had some very effective wooing methods. Shoot, once the Korean girl's around him it's like Kilik just get into some kind of daze. She was definitely her ultimate rival in the fight for poor Kilik's affections. The rivalry was so fierce that they ended up dueling in the Lake Side Coliseum and what makes it so bad they were spectators of a match between Mitsurugi and another ronin named Haohmaru. Besides, didn't she had Yun-seong as her suitor? The boy was surely irritatingly enough to be so.

But never mind that Mina woman. It was just her and Kilik chilling in the meadows. Oh what possibilities! If she could convince him enough, maybe they could do the Jason's Lyric thing? She blushed furiously... again, at another dirty thought. Folks, I have to say that she's quite a naughty girl, wouldn't you say? But I can't talk about little Xianghua-- she has nothing on Sophitia! Sophitia, aw man... supposedly the most innocent and chaste character in the franchise (besides Talim, of course). If Sophitia's so innocent, then what's up with her outfit and her hip thrust attacks, huh? Then she has that little 'neck twister' throw...

Let's just change the subject and get back to our semi-angst ridden heroine, eh? I went off of it for a bit. My bad.

Kilik was practicing a rather rudimentary kata. "Ha! Ha! Guard!" He took on a defensive stance. "Spin!" He twirled his staff. "Parry! Dodge!" He then did those techniques, but the funny part was about to happen. Do anyone remember that old Daffy Duck cartoon in which he was Robin Hood and Porky Pig was 'Fat Fryer'? Well, this is vastly reminiscent of that episode. Coming to his final technique in the kata, he shouted, "THRUST!" He attacked with the Kali-Yuga, but he made a mistake in hitting the ground too hard. The staff bounced back from the ground and smacked his ass dead in the face. Hard.

"Ouch!" Kilik fell to the ground with a solid thud. And for some strange reason, he was humming classic, 'Georgia On My Mind'. There was also a bruise on his nose.

"Kilik!" Xianghua shrieked as she ran towards her fallen comrade. "Kilik, are you alright?" She knelt beside him and cradled his head in her arms. "Speak to me, Kilik!"

Kilik gradually fluttered his eyes open, trying his best to regain his senses. "Man, I've messed up again..." He muttered. "It was Guard, Spin... Parry... Dodge and then... then I think it was followed by a Thrust." After saying that last word a spasm of pain flooded his nose again. "Gyaahh!"

"What the heck was that about?" Xianghua inquired.

"I made a mistake on my thrust..." Another pang shot through his nose. "Ooh! That hurts like a bitch!"

A bead of sweat became apparent on Xianghua's head. "Maybe you should avoid saying that word." Kilik managed to sit up on his own and Xianghua noticed that the bruise may last on a good while on the bridge of his nose. But she didn't care, it made him look even cuter to her. "You're going to be just fine, right? That is one ugly looking bruise you know. Not just ugly, I'm talking about an ninety year old person getting out of the hot springs ugly."

Kilik grimaced immediately, "Man, that IS ugly."

Xianghua chuckled at her little joke. "Well, I'm just glad that you're okay. I know you can take it like a man."

Kilik smiled back at her. "With you around, I'm always going to be just fine." At those words, she became red in the face. "What's with all the blushing, Xianghua? I can always depend on you to be concerned about me. That's nothing new."

She was at a lost for words. "Uh... um... Kilik... hearing that from you..."

"Your heart's fluttering, right? You're feeling all warm and fluffy inside and all that other good stuff too?" He asked her playfully.

"Yeah... how did you know?" She wondered.

"Xianghua... what kind of fool do you take me for? I know everything."

She gasped in surprise. "Are you serious? So what are you saying?" And stop beating around the bush!

Kilik gazed into her eyes-- quite an effective method. "Xianghua you know very well what I am implying." He stated intently. "How long has it been since we've first met?"

Xianghua had to think for a second. "It's been going on five years." She replied before pouting cutely. "This isn't like you, Kilik. You really need to stop playing games right about now."

He considered what his companion just said, and, "Very well then..." He suddenly drew close to her and kissed her on the lips quite passionately. It was those kinds of kiss that's usually required in sappy romance novels. Yeesh!

Xianghua totally didn't see that kiss coming but hell, she wasn't complaining. The sudden move surprised her... but then again, she's been expecting this for a long time. Man, that last sentence sounds like an apparent contradiction, doesn't it? Who cares? Now that's the way how to play the game! Xianghua thought excitedly.

After that lingering kiss, that girl honestly had to regain her breath for a moment. Guess getting your very first kiss has that effect on you. Kilik gazed at the girl expectedly while she was fluttering her eyes disbelievingly. "Well?"

Chai finally recomposed herself, blushing more furiously than before. "Well what?"

"What do you think of our kiss?"

"Boy, we need to do that more often!" She immediately responded.

Kilik chuckled... again. "Right. It's because I love you, Xianghua." He caught her by surprise again. "I love you lots."

There was another long pause... and then she told him, "You really do know how to make a girl feel appreciated. And here I once thought that I'm going to grow into an old maid." You had me in suspense for far too long, but the wait was all worthwhile!

"Kilik..."

"Yes, Xianghua?"

"I love you too. Heaven knows that you've made my day."

Yes indeed! This was the greatest moment of her life. It was now official. These two are in love and with no Maxi in sight to ruin the moment with any of his shenanigans. Xianghua has never felt so fulfilled in her life (not that kind of fulfillment, you pervs!) and the day was getting better and better. They were going to do that Jason's Lyrics thing after all... rolling in the grass and everything included. She has found... the true meaning of strength. Ah, this is just as blissful as a dream...

Uh oh...

"Aah! Work it! Sock it to me! It's all yours!" The young Ming native squealed in ecstasy as she shot straight up on her western styled inn bed. That can't be right. She didn't remember being in an inn. Xianghua looked around her surroundings and realized that she's indeed inside an inn. She sighed in defeat after realizing this. It WAS a dream... just another one of those dreams about her and her beloved. Too bad, I just don't do any lemons.

And speaking of her beloved, she went to the edge of the KING-SIZED bed and found him sleeping peacefully on the wooden floor. This sight of him doing this pissed her off too! Him being too much of a gentleman is a terrible thing. He definitely needs to let loose sometimes. Nothing works against Kilik! Since they arrived in this port town in southern Japan she tried to slyly convince him to share the bed with her. He declined everything... even the 'I don't mind you see me naked in bed, Kilik' notion.

It was either he was gay or he's completely clueless. Tenchi Masaki probably could get some before he does. And that was a VERY slim chance in itself.

Damn, isn't this a bitch? She though in disappointment. It was the crack of dawn. Oh well, it was morning now and the spring sunshine was kicking her ass right about now. And so, it was time to wake him up to face another day. She rose from her bed and tottered over towards Kilik. The guy was muttering something in his sleep. Oh, this is just great! Xianghua mused. He's probably dreaming about tasks from the EdgeMaster... or... this Xianglian woman. Or worse... Seong Mina!

He did looked hot sleeping with his mouth wide open like that, she thought, but it was rise and shine time. With a mischievous grin she lightly placed her foot on his chest. "Kilik, it's time to wake up! Rise and shine! Breakfast, toasts, and jelly, lets just hope that your hands not all smelly!"

She gasped in surprise. Truth be told, Kilik was usually a heavy sleeper but hearing what Xianghua just mentioned made him jumped up from the floor with a massive blush on his face. That is, if Xianghua's foot wasn't on his chest. And the girl had some stylish undergarments on too.

Noticing that he wasn't looking up the ladder to heaven, Kilik stammered while trying his best to hide his embarrassment. "Ugh? Mornin' Xianghua!"

Now that is strange... even for him, Xianghua thought. "Morning, silly." She teased. "Did you slept well last night?" Yes, tell me all about it Kilik. Did you slept good on the rough ass floor instead of sharing the bed with me?

Kilik didn't respond, he raised his right hand over his nose, pretending to yawn when he was actually sniffing his hand. Man, it was just a dream. Xianghua just don't know how much I like her.

"Kilik, are you with us today?" Xianghua prodded, quite literally at his head. "Get up and go wake up Maxi. I'm going for a bath in a few minutes. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a hangover today."

"R--right. I'll go ahead and get him." Kilik responded way too quickly this time. The sight of his best friend close to nudity was entirely to distracting to him. Lord knows that she had grown well over the years. Why did he had to share a single bed room with her? Oh yeah, he remembered: the inn's double rooms are all occupied. Nagasaki gets a lot of travelers from all over the globe.

Kilik rose from the floor once Xianghua removed her feet from his chest. He gathered the extra comforter and placed it on the bed. "Hey Xianghua, Maxi and I are going to get some breakfast in the lobby. See you there!"

"Okay Kilik. I'll meet you there after my hot bath." Xianghua replied but she was scowling mentally. You poor, poor clueless boy. Opportunity is knocking you upside you head and yet...

Kilik was already out of the room.

" Kilik, if only you were like the man of my dreams... yourself." She sighed sadly and heads for the bath.

Outside in the hallways of the inn Kilik was lost in his thoughts. Xianghua has indefinitely been on his mind a lot lately. In fact, he thinks about her so much that he even caught a headache from it before. And those dreams he's been having about her was testament to that as well. Wasn't it a sign? Could she really be that important to him?

How can he tell her? And if he ever does, how will Xianghua react? Will she praise him... or perhaps shun him... there was a bigger chance of him being shunned. Maybe she would view him in a different light and consider him a sort of perverted hooligan? He just didn't know what to do now. He's in love with the filly. That can only spell stress. That train is never late... 'stress'. The way he fiends over her now, he's going to get a huge dose of stress.

He sighed sadly as well. "Xianghua... if only we could become closer..."

Unfortunately for him, somebody in the halls overheard him. "Well rise and shine, lover-boy."

Kilik faced his buddy in surprise. The fact that he appeared seemingly out of nowhere when he least expected kind of freaked him out. "Maxi? Aw man, please tell me you didn't heard me just now?"

The sailor raised a brow with a warped grin. "What's wrong? Can't get it up?"

"Nah. There wasn't any of that going on in there." Kilik admitted. "Besides, I doubt that she would even allow me to share the bed with her."

Maxi slapped his forehead. "Damn man! You mean to tell me that I've rent the last double room in this inn for nothing? You suck, man! You let the perfect opportunity slip you by just like that."

"Quit the nonsense, man." Kilik defended. "I don't see why you did get the double in the first place."

"Well Chai didn't knew anything about it." Maxi retorted. "She thought that there were nothing but singles that remained in this place but she didn't complained. Haven't you noticed that? I was trying to help you out a little bit, man."

"So you were expecting something to happen last night?" Kilik asked him. " Maxi, read the writings on the wall, man. She is not going to go for any of that."

Maxi started mean-mugging then. "Well let me ask you this my man: do you like her? And I'm not just talking about just liking her as just a friend, I'm talking about 'I really want to try out what she's sitting on' kind of liking."

"You didn't have to say it like that." Kilik berated. "But to tell you the truth, I do. I can't lie about that. I like her a lot."

Maxi grinned once again. "Man, let me tell you... this is all so juvenile if you ask me. Now, I'm kind of too old for playing matchmaker with you guys so it is best for you to do what you have to do. If you like her, then it should be up to you to let her know that you appreciate her. You just can't sit there thinking way too much and beating around the bush all the time."

"Maxi, that's far easier said than done!" Kilik reprimanded. "Who knows what she will think of me after I told her all these things."

"Kilik, trust me on this, man." He wrapped his arm around Kilik's shoulder. "Xianghua will definitely consider your feelings once you let that cat out of the bag. She's just a woman man. I bet you she's has the same feelings towards you as well right about now."

Somehow, Kilik doubted that. "So are you saying that Xianghua has feelings for me too?"

Maxi wanted to frown but instead, he came at his friend with a serious question. "Is a pig's pussy pork?"

"Maxi..."

NEXT TIME

Mitsurugi: The heavily acclaimed Soul Edge: Is it really The Sword of Salvation? Or is it an accursed weapon of destruction? One thing is for sure, this sword is one hell of a prize! But when I returned to my homeland, there's a whole lot of crap going down. One, there are monsters and all that kind of stuff appearing out of thin air, plus there are two girls chasing me... but not in those terms. These broads actually hate my guts. One of them wants me to relinquish Soul Edge at once and the other one swear that I had killed her daddy. Which daddy? Ha... never mind. Let's just hope that these girls got more bite than breasts-- err, I mean bark. Man, there is really something about springtime. Well, tune in next chapter to witness the Great Heishiro Mitsurugi in action. Because, there is nothing that my sword cannot cut through!

NEXT CHAPTER: PURSUIT