This is the Alphonse chapter that would have been with the Anime Talk: Fullmetal Alchemist Edition if people had actually responded and sent something in. This is a collaboration between myself and Dragonlover71491 AKA Draggy to me, plus she knows I'm a major Alphonse fangirl!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from FMA except plushies.

Here's my guest: Alphonse Elric.

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Anime Talk: Fullmetal Alchemist Edition

Guest: Alphonse Elric

The lights turn on, revealing me sitting at the host's desk. The whole place is covered in red hearts of varying sizes, along with banners with all sorts of mushy sayings. I'm a teenage girl wearing glasses with average length hair that is colored an assortment of Black, lime Green, and citrus orange, with cat ears, one black the other orange, and a green tipped black cat tail, and a Green confederate hat.

"Hello! Draggy is a bit tied up in other matters at the moment, but don't worry! I'm taking over for now!" I squeal as I hug myself.

The audience claps as I do a little happy dance since it is now my time to shine.

"Now…to welcome our guest. He was formerly the big suit of armor that followed his brother, he's the cutest alchemist to roam the planet, the cat crazed young man, Alphonse Elric!" I cheer as Alphonse comes on stage, waving at the audience.

"Hello…I'm glad to be here." He says charmingly as he gives me a smile, almost making me faint as he sits on the large couch for the guests and usually me. After all, Draggy is normally the host of this talk show.

"Hi Alphonse, welcome to the show. Here, I have gift for you." I say shyly as I bring out a present.

"Thank you Chibi-chan-san." He tells me as he pulls off the ribbon.

Then a small furry head pops out of the box, mewing cutely at Alphonse. It's a little brown tabby kitten that I got just for him.

"Aw! I love cats!" He exclaims as he brings the kitten to his chest.

'I know, that's why I got it…but now I wish he'd cuddle me!'

"Chibi-chan-san…" He says unsurely as he comes over to me.

"Yes…" I ask blushing.

"You're a good person, I don't know what ni-san was talking about when he said you were crazy." He smiles as he rubs me between my kitty ears.

I purr at his attention as my blush intensifies, not knowing what to do. After a while, I push his hand away mournfully, knowing I must go on with the show.

"This is nice, but I don't really care for this chair. I know!" I exclaim as I pull out Draggy's personal magical laptop that she uses.

I fumble with the buttons for a minute, but I get irritated.

"Dumb thing! WORK!"

I then do the one thing a person should never do to a friend; I break the laptop. I then look at the mess before pushing it out of sight.

"Oh….Crap. Let's just not tell Draggy about this, okay?" I smile brightly, an innocent look on my face.

Alphonse just looks at me funny for a second before smiling.

"Okay…I have a few questions of my own to ask before we move onto the readers'."

"Sure, that sounds simple."

"All right, how does it feel to be back in your own body?"

"It's all right, I admit I kind of miss the armor, but now I can eat and actually feel." He says as he strokes my ears again.

I giggle a little as he strokes my tail, but I don't mind.

"Alphonse, tell me really…do you have a girlfriend?"

He becomes flustered by my question, but he smiles at me and shakes his head 'no'.

"No, I'm not seeing anyone right now, I haven't met anyone who sparks my interest to be honest."

"I see…now's the time to go to the questions sent in by our readers. The first one comes from Alphonseisasweetie." I say as I pull out an envelope.

Alphonseisasweetie

Alphonse, why do you love cats so much? To be honest, I think it's cute, but you're like obsessed!

"That's a good question. Why do you love cats so much?"

"Well, they're really cute and cuddly, and they have the softest fur around. Petting one always calms me down."

"I feel the same way!" I squeal as I cuddle my tiny human plushie of him.

When he notices said plushie, I blush. But he smiles and pokes it curiously.

"I see you're a big fan Chibi-chan-san." He says as he stares at the plushie in my arms.

"I am…anyway, let's move on. Next question is from FMARULZES" I chuckle nervously as I try to force down my blush.

FMARULZES

Yo Alphonse! I wanted to ask why you always defend Colonel Roy "Bastard" Mustang? He's always antagonizing your bro for crying out loud!

"Your response Alphonse-kun? I mean…Alphonse." I giggle nervously because of my slip up.

"Well, without the Colonel's help, we'd have never been able to return to our old selves. I'd still be stuck in that armor, and brother would never have gotten back to being the brother I've always known. And Chibi-chan-san?"

"Yes Alphonse?"

"You can call me Alphonse-kun if you want…but only if I can call you Chibi Koneko." He laughs as he places his hand over mine.

I blush heavily but nod happily; glad to know he likes me. I giggled.

"Well, I guess that's all right Alphonse-kun. And I think it's…"

"Chibi Koneko?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I…cuddle you, just for a minute?" He asks unsurely as he turns away embarrassed.

"Yes!" I cry out as I dive into his lap, purring like a motor as he rubs my ears and tickles me under my chin.

"I really think you're adorable Chibi Koneko." He laughs as I giggle between purrs.

But then something disturbs my moment with Alphonse. We both turn to the end of the stage, where a green chest with chains woven around it is bouncing our way.

"What is that Chibi Koneko?" Alphonse asks curiously as he stops petting me.

"Uh-oh. Now I'm in big trouble."

"Why is that?" He inquires as the chest stops in the middle of the stage.

"Well…I'm not here ok?" I say as I dive under the desk.

But then the chest starts to bounce more fiercely around, turning, flipping, and twisting in midair as it goes around the stage. A few moments later, a clawed hand busts out from the top of the chest, searching around blindly until it finds the key lock on the chains. One claw is then inserted and wiggled around until a snap is heard and the chains fall off. A girl with black shoulder length hair, pale skin, black dragon wings and a tail with glasses opens the top, breathing deeply as she pulls herself out.

"Chi…bi…chan…I'm…go…ing…to…kill…you." Dragonlover71491, AKA Draggy gasps out as she removes the cloth gag from her mouth, calling me by my nickname in a furious tone.

'Aw crap! She's so pissed at me right now!' I think as I tremble under the desk.

Draggy tosses the "dragon-proof rope that is guaranteed to hold any dragon of any species" that cost me a fortune toward the desk, stomping over to Alphonse and grabs him by his shirt collar.

"Where is she Alphonse?!" Draggy demands as I watch her tail twitch irritably.

"I…don't know." My cute alchemist lies as he looks death in the face as Draggy starts to breathe out black smoke.

"Fine, but when I find her, she's going to be roasted to a crisp!" She screams as she hits the desk top, making me squeak.

Bad move.

"Ah ha!" She yells as she dives for me.

But I scramble away from her as I try to calm her down.

"Draggy…let's be civil about this." I laugh nervously as she comes closer to me.

"I should have known you'd pull something like this you stupid kitty fangirl!" She shouts as fire spews from her mouth.

"But Draggy!"

"Don't 'but Draggy' me, it's time for a kitty barbeque!"

The screen then shows a blank screen with the words 'we are experiencing technical difficulties' flashing in red as you hear me screaming in the background, Draggy yelling "I'm going to kill you!," "Time to fry a dumb cat!," and other things as Alphonse pleads Draggy to spare me. The screen returns to normal as it shows Alphonse holding me protectively as Draggy sits on the desk glaring at me.

"Of all the stupid stunts to pull, locking me in a chest so you could cuddle with Alphonse tops the list." She sighs as she rubs her temples wearily.

"I'm sorry…"

"Whatever. Either way, since the questions are done, I guess I need to take over the dare corner for today." She huffs as she whacks me in the head with her tail.

"OW!"

"Be thankful I didn't roast you Chibi-chan." Draggy growls as she sits on the couch.

'Yeah…singed fur smells awful.'

"Can we move on please?" Alphonse asks nervously as he sits next to Draggy on the couch.

"Uh…right. First dare comes from FMARULZES."

FMARULZES

I DARE YOU TO GIVE YOUR BROTHER A WEDGY!

"You willing to do that Alphonse-kun?"

"Brother won't like that." Alphonse mumbles as Draggy leaves the stage.

A few moments later, Draggy comes back with Edward, her tail coiled around him as she walks over to me.

"Let me go! Whatever you have planned I refuse to participate!" Ed screams as he struggles against the coils.

"Just calm down, it won't take that long you wiener." Draggy huffs as she drops Ed next to me and Alphonse.

"Al! Help me out here, that Chibi's crazy!" Ed exclaims as he points an accusing finger at me.

"That to me is a compliment." I giggle as I give Ed a mischievous look.

He just glares at me as Draggy pulls out a nail file and begins sharpening her claws, not really caring for the moment.

"Brother…" Alphonse says unsurely, afraid of what his brother will think.

"What is it Al?" Ed inquires as Alphonse gets behind him.

"Forgive me." Al says quietly as he grabs the waistband of his brother's underwear.

"Al! What are you YEOUCH?!" Ed shouts as Alphonse pulls up, revealing Edward's choice of undies.

I laugh hysterically while Draggy just snorts in amusement at what we see: Ed's wearing Carebear boxers.

"Al! Why did you do that?!" Ed demands as he tries to fix his undies, a blush on his face.

"I'm sorry Brother, I was dared to." Alphonse explains.

"Fine…but ouch, that hurt, and I think you stretched the elastic." Ed complains as he walks…well, waddles off in discomfort.

After I calm down, I head back to the desk and pull out another letter.

"This next dare comes Alponseisasweetie."

Alphonseisasweetie

Dress up as Barney and sing the "I love you, you love me" song.

"Chibi's going to have a hard time with this." Draggy chuckles as she notices me glaring at the letter.

"I despise Barney…but I'll tolerate it for Alphonse-kun's sake." I declare, my left ear twitching.

Draggy then goes off stage and comes back with a Barney costume on hand, a small smile on her face.

"Here's the costume…" She says brightly as she passes it to Alphonse.

"Thank you, but where am I supposed to change?"

"Just go backstage, nobody's there." Draggy tells him as she pushes him to the back.

After a few short minutes, he comes back in full costume, moving a bit awkwardly in the thing.

"I just have to sing, right?" He mumbles from within the costume

"Yes Alphonse-kun, that's all." I say as I sit at my desk.

"Okay then…"

He goes to the center of the stage before he starts to sing.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too." He sings, swaying a little on the spot.

He then turns to us; Draggy is giggling a little while I'm digging my nails into the arms of my chair. If it was anyone else in that dumb costume, I would have beat them with my aluminum bat.

"That was nice Alphonse…now go backstage and get out of that thing." Draggy laughs as she looks at her claws.

"All right." He says as he heads off.

He then comes back in his regular clothes.

"That's the end of this interview, time for us to say good-bye." Draggy yawns as she unfurls her wings.

"But I don't want to say good-bye to Alphonse-kun." I whine as I hug our guest, who's patting my head comfortingly.

"I'll see you again Chibi Koneko…I'll always like you, this isn't good-bye forever." He chuckles at me before kissing me on the cheek.

I literally turn into a puddle of goo on the floor as he leaves, a silly smile on my face as I laugh like a love-struck teen…wait, I am a love-struck teen!

"Glad to see you enjoyed being the host for once."

I just keeping giggling like a moron as she heads to the desk. My moment of bliss is then broken by…

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY LAPTOP?!"

I then turn fearful eyes to Draggy, who's snarling at me angrily as she flexes her claws.

"Draggy…"

"Chibi-chan…time to visit the taxidermist!" She shouts as she starts to chase me around the studio.

"NO WAIT! MERCY!!!!!" I scream as I try to dodge Draggy's fire breath.

"NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Chibi-chan: I love this!

Dragonlover71491: You put me in a chest you weirdo!

Chibi-chan: My Alphonse.

Dragonlover71491: Whatever. Anyway…if you want to see the other characters of FMA going through this, please go to my account. It's at .net/u/2080129/Dragonlover71491, look for Anime Talk: Fullmetal Alchemist Edition.

Chibi-chan: Yes! Oh Draggy! Can I have that barney suit?

Dragonlover71491: What are you planning now Chibi-chan?

Chibi-chan: *smiles deviously* Be right back * a few minutes pass before draggy suddenly hears a scream from back stage*

Dragonlover71491: WHAT WAS THAT! *turns*

Chibi-chan MUAAHAHHAHAHAHAH! *Beating Ed in the barney suit with a bat*

Dragonlover71491: CHIBI-CHAN!