Notes:
Dragonlance: Takes places immediately after "the test of the twins" (weis and hickman, legends). The first few paragraphs are a slightly modified version of the actual text at the very end of "test of the twins".
Wheel of time: In the New Era probably while Moiraine is journeying to Two Rivers.
The characters and worlds don't belong to me, I'm just playing with them.
For those of you that unfamiliar with one or the other series:
Kender, a small, pointed eared people that wear their hair in a topknot and clothes of bright colours. They are strung with many pouches and have no fear of anything. They are also kleptomaniacs.
Myrddraal are shadowspawn (evil critters). They have no eyes (but see like a hawk) and wear black, supple plated armour. They can walk through shadows and cause fear with a glance.
I've never heard of Aes Sedai "teaching" someone a language with the one power but it was the easier thing to do so I hope that I'm forgiven
Worlds Apart!
Dragonlance and Wheel of Time Crossover
Tas sat
down on the ground and emptied the contents of his pouches. While
munching on some biscuits his glance travelled over the maps that
Tanis had given him. He unrolled them one after the other, pointing
with a finger at the places that he had visited during his many
adventures.
"Travelling
is fun," he mused aloud after a few minutes "but returning home
is even better. I think that I'll stay with Tika and Caramon. We'll
all live together like a true family. Caramon told me that I can have
a room in the new house and.. what's that," squinting he leaned
over and studied one of the maps. "Merilon? I've never heard of a
city that bears that name. I wonder what its like.."
But
true to kender spirit, his attention was just as quickly attracted by
another map. "Wow I guess this map is old! It doesn't even look
like the current Ansalon!" he blinked and peered more closely at
the map. "..and the names are so strange.. Shayol Ghul, Tar Valon,
Fal Moran.. I've never heard of any of them either!" he seemed to
have completely forgotten his earlier resolution, at least for the
moment. A wild and exciting thought had suddenly surfaced, And
if it's not Ansalon!
He
ruthlessly squished this idea (though it cost him a lot of willpower)
in very severely telling himself No! You're finished with
adventures Tasslehoff Burrfoot. You already have enough stories to
tell Flint. You're going to settle down here and become a
respectable member of the community, perhaps even High Sheriff.Rolling up
the maps, he replaced them in their case, then started counting his
treasures.
"A
chicken feather, an emerald, a dead rat - yuk where did I get that? A
ring entwined with carved ivy leaves, a small gold dragon statuette,
hold on, I don't remember putting that in my pouch! A piece of blue
crystal, a dragon's tooth, some white rose petals, an old stuffed
rabbit and.. oh! Gnimsh's plans for the mechanical elevator. And
this: a book! Sleight of hand to Amaze and Delight! I'm sure
that it can be of some use. Oh no..", he frowned, "Tanis' silver
bracelet again! I wonder how he manages when I'm not behind him to
collect his belongings! He really is negligent. Laurana must find him
difficult to put up with ."
He shook
his pouches.He sighed.
"That's all. It was rather interesting, all in all. I met several
dragons, flew in a citadel, was turned into a mouse, broke a Dragon
orb, and became the close friend of Paladine. Of course, there were
some sad moments. But as a whole, I'll miss our adventures. It's a
pity that there's nobody left to travel with me any more ; they've
all settled down to live quiet lives. It's time for me to follow
their lead, and besides the work of High Sheriff must be very
interesting."
"Hey..
what's this? Right at the bottom. "He plunged
a hand into his pouch and came out with a small object which had been
caught in a fold of fabric. His breath came faster."How
could Caramon lose this? He paid so much attention to it. Well he's
had a lot to think about lately. I'll return it to him, what would
Par-Salian say if.."
While he
contemplated the very ordinary looking pendant nested in the hollow
of his palm, Tas realized that his other hand - obviously acting
without his agreement since he had given up his life of adventurer -
groped in search of the case containing his maps.
"What
was the name of that town again? Fal Moran?"
His hand
was speaking now! And now it was gathering up all his treasures,
slinging on his belted pouches again and beginning to change the
simple pendant into the magical time travel device.
"Once
you've finished," Tas severely told his hand, "we'll return that
to Caramon."
end of modified end of Test of the Twins
But
his hand apparently wasn't listening to him. He looked on amazed.
Already the pendant was taking the form of the magical time travel
device, all the while his hand – it couldn't possibly be him
– was reciting the accompanying formula to make the pendant work.
There was
a flash and everything blurred and faded.
When he
could see again properly, Tas looked around. He appeared to be alone
and certainly not at Caramon's new house! A hill rose gently above
him crowned with an imposing looking and very solid stone wall. Blue
and white striped flags that appeared to have, he shaded his eyes, a
black hawk? emblazed on them, snapped defiantly above the ramparts
and defensive towers. He could also just make out the outlines of
great solid gates set into the wall. There was no vegetation near the
wall for at least 500 paces.
As there
seemed to be nothing else of Interest besides the ramparts and gate,
he naturally started towards them idly wishing for his hoopak.As he
neared the gates he suddenly heard the sound of galloping hoof beats
coming from towards his left. He spun around and saw a group of
riders galloping towards him. He readied himself, his knife,
Rabbitslayer, in hand in case of need.
As the riders approached he saw that they were human men (or at least seemed to be from rapidly shortening distance) each wearing a topknot on their partly shaved heads and armed to the teeth. Not only did they have lances, but they all wore leather and plate or mail armour, the hilts of swords poking from their backs over their shoulders, as well as a variety of broadswords, axes and maces from their belts or saddles. The horses were no less impressive, heavily armoured with barding from head to chest.
It never
occurred to him to run or how useless such a weapon as Rabbitslayer
would be against such warriors. The riders had seen him and soon he
was surrounded by steaming, sweating horses with the stench of well
worn armour. One of warriors, wearing armour and a surcoat of finer
quality then the others as well as a thin golden circlet upon his
forehead, looked down and him regally despite battle weariness and
said something that Tas couldn't understand though he realised from
the tone that he was haughtily being asked something.
Tas looked
at him blankly, "You don't speak Common?". The riders looked at
each other, clearly not understanding what he had said.
"Guess
not," he mused, "I wonder where I am then.."
"Haughty"
as Tas had silently named the leader, said something imperiously and
pointed to Tas and then the gates.
"Guess
they want me to accompany them.." he shrugged, not particularly
disturbed by the presence of all the warriors surrounding him. After
all, it was the direction that he had been going in the first place
and still seemed the most interesting.
A short while later, they entered the great iron reinforced gates in a heavily fortified town. Tas couldn't help feeling that whoever and whatever the people that lived here were, they were paranoid. This feeling was even more pronounced as they entered the solid fortress at the heart of the town. Like the perimeter walls, the walls here seemed to be several feet thick and weapons were hang in readiness on various parts of the walls, though there were a few tapestries depicting battle scenes, and, Tas noticed with curiosity, scenes of flowered meadows showing the only sign of peace that he had seen so far.
During the
walk through the fortress' austere stone halls, the warriors
gradually took leave of each other until only "Haughty" and a
couple of others that Tas thought might be his close kin were left.
Shortly afterwards they came upon a set of large, highly polished
oaken double doors. Inset, dead in the centre like a mighty seal, was
the insignia of a swooping hawk made from onyx. Without slowing
"Haughty" extended his hands and thrust the doors open, revealing
what Tas took to be some kind of throne room. There was an austere
throne mounted on a dais at the far end of the room set before a huge
version of the blue and white flag with the hawk that Tas had noticed
earlier flying from the ramparts. The walls of the room were bedecked
with colourful tapestries, generally those of peaceful meadows or
woodland scenes which created a strong contrast with the weapons that
even here hung in readiness.
"Haughty"
said something that Tas didn't understand to one of his young
followers who promptly left, before striding towards the throne and
seating himself. From his seated position he studied the kender
taking in anew everything from the topknot on his head and pointy
ears to his bright blue leggings, equally bright red tunic and his
multitude of pouches.
The kender
stared back, not in least daunted and eyes alight with curiosity.
He turned
as he heard the great doors open again and saw the young man that
"Haughty" had spoken to accompanied by a dark haired woman
wearing a green dress. She wore a white shawl with a green fringe.
What piqued the kender's curiosity the most was that she seemed
somehow ageless. There was an air of knowledge, self-assurance and
power about her. In fact, had it not been for the dress and lack of
pouches, Tas would have assumed that she was a mage of some sort.
"Haughty"
gravely inclined his head to her and addressed her in a respectful
tone. The woman returned his inclination as gravely and stood
scrutinising Tas for a moment from close to the throne. Turning
towards the seated lord she said something.
Not
understanding any of the language, Tas soon grew bored. His eyes
roamed the room and seeing what looked to be an interesting tapestry
he wandered to off to inspect it more closely (it was better than
being bored and the weapons looked interesting too) completely
unaware of the lord and woman's astonished glazes.
For the readers' pleasure I have translated the king and Aes Sedai's following conversation that Tas can't understand
"My men
and I found this er.. child before the gates of the city. He can not
seem to understand us and when he speaks.. well, it's meaningless
babble. Can you enlighten us Aes Sedai?"
"Even if
his face is childlike King Easar, his strange appearance and
incomprehension of our language may indicate that it is a new breed
of Shadowspawn. I therefore advise utmost caution until we know
exactly what it is that we are dealing with." the woman replied.
"Shadowspawn?"
the King looked at Tas (who was now inspecting a full suit of armour
that he had found in a corner close to the door and talking with it
by making the metal mouth covering move) "Er.. no disrespect
intended Aes Sedai but I can not think of what function he or it
could serve of if Shadowspawn.."
Unruffled
the Aes Sedai responded with a cool "Do not lead let appearance
mislead you King Easar. It may be a ruse so you lower your guard.
However, whoever it is, whether Shadowspawn or no, we must
interrogate him. I may be able to grant him the gift of
understandable speech.."
The king
nodded his consent and called to the kender (who completely ignored
him and was now inspecting more weapons having tired with his one
sided conversation with the 'knight'.). Nonplussed, King Easar
called a guard to bring him the kender.
Tas looked
at "Haughty" who was saying something incomprehensible. He
thought it might have something to do with the woman beside the king
since while he was speaking he pointed at her and then Tas. Just
before Tas started feeling bored again, he saw the woman cross the
short distance that separated them. When she stood before him, he
came up to around her waist, she placed a hand on his head. As she
moved her hand he noticed a golden ring in the form of a serpent
eating its own tail. Suddenly, even though she hadn't seemed to
have said a word or made a gesture, Tas felt a sudden wrenching, not
unlike what his stomach felt like when taking off on a dragon. It
only lasted a few seconds and he blinked. The woman looked coolly at
him "Do you understand what I say?".
Tas
beamed, "Hey I can understand you now! That's really cool though
it did feel kinda funny. I wonder if Raistlin, he's a .. er.. sort
of friend of mine even if he did kill poor Gnimsh," he looked sad
for a moment then continued, "could do something like that? I'll
have to ask him.. oh," his faced clouded a bit, "I can't,
Caramon said he died in the Abyss.."
The king
and Aes Sedai were nonplussed again though they both hid it well. The
king coughed, "ahem."
Tas's
attention was immediately focused on him as the king had hoped though
the little being barely took a breath from his past topic to a new
one topic "Oh are you sick? I was sick once, poisoned, but Raistlin
healed me. If you're really sick maybe you should see a Cleric. I
know one, her name's Crysania.." Here he was interrupted by the
king turning to the woman.
"You're
channelling seems to have been very.. effective Aes Sedai." His
voice sounded slightly dry.
The Aes
Sedai did not deign to answer and instead gave the kender a stern
look "What is your name child?"
Tas looked
as insulted as a kender could (which is not much really). She'd
called him a child! The irony was that he was probably older than
she since she was a human, even if she did look ageless. It took it
as his stern duty to correct her.
"I'm
not a child. I am after all in my 50's."
The king
and Aes Sedai were surprised again, but both being in positions of
power, they had long ago mastered the art of letting no change in
facial expression show.
He held
out a hand "I'm Tasslehoff Burfoot, one of the Heroes of the
Lance but my friends call me Tas. And you?"
This time
the Aes Sedai couldn't help blinking.
"I am
Shuari Sedai and this is King Easar.."
Tas looked
at the king curiously, "I've met a few kings before. The king of
Thorbardin.." he rambled on starting on a recital of his
adventures. By now the king and Aes Sedai were beginning to have an
inkling into the personality of their 'guest' and the king
quickly tried to diplomatically cut Tas off.
"We hope
that you will excuse us, but we have never encountered someone such
as yourself before. From whence do you come?"
"Oh I
live in Solace.." and the childlike being launched into another
explanation involving strange names, some sort of device and dragons!
"You
have met the Dragon Reborn?". Tas noticed that both of his
'interviewers' seemed very nervous. The king's grip had
tightened on his throne arms and the woman's mouth was drawn in a
thin line.
"Dragon
Reborn? I don't remember any dragon called Reborn, but I do
remember ones called Silvara and Fireflash… and then there was
Fizban's dragon.." the king and Aes Sedai were soon hopelessly
lost in his rambling but understood enough to realise that Tas didn't
seem to have met whoever might be the Dragon Reborn.
It was
about this time that Shuari Sedai suddenly noticed with a sick
feeling that her great serpent ring was no longer on her finger. She
stared at her hand blankly and despite her training her face began to
turn a sickly shade of white. She was vaguely aware of the king
staring at her and asking if there was something amiss.
Regaining
a part of her self control she whispered "my ring.."
A cheerful
voice interrupted her horrified thoughts "Are you sick as well
Lady?
"I..
er..no. I just seem to have.. misplaced.. something.. My great
serpent ring.."
Tas held
out a golden ring in the form of a serpent eating its own tail "Oh
is this yours? It must have slipped from your finger.."
Her face
now white with anger, the Aes Sedai snatched back her ring. For the
first time in her life she was speechless with fury.
The
strange childlike being regarded her with, she managed to notice,
not fear, remorse or guilt but with curiosity!
"Wow you
look really mad! Are you going turn me into a frog? I've heard that
mages can do that. I wonder what it's like being a frog. Raistlin
is a mage and he once told me that he'd turn me into a cricket.."
What could
have been a very tense moment (or an interesting one from the
kender's point of view) was brutally diffused by the clanging of
warning bells. A guard burst into the throne room. "Peace! Majesty,
we under attack by Shadowspawn!"
The king,
who had leapt to his feet at the first tolling of the alarm bell,
nodded, "Where are they attacking?". And the two started a brief
conversation on troop deployment and the location of the attack.
Tas noted
all of this with typical kender curiosity. The green robed woman who
had been so angry had already departed and the king and guard were
running towards the door, the sounds of battle from somewhere in the
city already drifting into the room from the window. The kender
jogged after them, after all there was nobody left to talk with..
It wasn't
long before the three beheld the battle. Tas noticed with fascination
that there were some interesting creatures, he couldn't think of a
better word to describe them, that appeared to have a variety of
animal heads on human like bodies.
The
fighting was already intense, the clash of steel on steel and the
scream of men and animal-men echoing loudly off the walls. Tas
wandered though it all tranquilly, nimbly dodging out of the way if
fighters came too close. For the second time he idly wished that he
had his hoopak, not because he was afraid but because fighting the
animal-men things looked interesting. He sighed. Just wandering
around and not participating was so boring! Looking around he spotted
some stones and grinned. He may not have his hoopak but he was still
a good shot.
Picking
them up he started hurling them at the animal-men as well as some
choice insults.
For a
second defenders and attackers stool in stunned silence as a stone
suddenly appeared from nowhere and hit an animal-man, that appeared
to have the head of some sort of savage cat, smack on the noise.
Though it wasn't the stone that surprised them, it was the yowl of
pain and the of a shrill, high voice yelling, 'Hey look it's Pus
'n boots!'
Trollocs
(or animal-men as Tas called them) are stupid. They are however just
smart enough to realise when someone is mocking them and so without
understanding all of the words, but fully understanding the mocking
tone, the yowl turned into a feral growl and the cat headed creature
abandoned the warrior that it had been fighting and advanced on the
kender. If it was expecting the small creature to be scared it was to
be sorely disappointed. Instead as it advanced, Tas continued
throwing stones and insults.
"Here
kitty kitty!"
The next
stone bounced harmlessly off its helm accompanied by an "Hey you're
a clever kitty to be able to walk only on your hind legs!"
As it drew
within range, the beast swung its sword at the kender who nimbly
jumped aside and ran between the things legs. The trolloc spun
around, swung and missed again.
"Hey
your aim is even worse then you look!' . By now, thoroughly enraged
from constantly missing the annoying little being with its constant
mocking tone, the trolloc was wildly swinging its sword all
directions. Tas dodged and danced about taunting, pursued by the
almost rabid beast. It wasn't long before a fight broke out between
the beast-men as the sword of the enraged one struck the chest of
another close by. Blood spurted and Tas had just time to notice that
the two animal-men had different sigils on their armour. 'Kitty'
(as Tas had now named him) had a blood red trident while the other
beast thing had a horned skull. Pandemonium broke out amongst the
beast-men as several, marked with the same skull sigils, started
attacking 'Kitty'. This attack was answered by more of those with
the red trident sigils and soon other clans joined in the melee
completely ignoring the stunned Shienians. Tas, the cause of this
infighting, was also completely forgotten and wandered off to find
something else that was more interesting.
At the
opposite end of the fighting, a myrddraal stepped through a shadow to
appear closer to its trollocs troops who were still enthusiastically
butchering each other. Before it could bring order however, two
things happened. One was that a Shienian soldier yelled out
'Myrddraal!' in warning to his comrades and the second was that a
small, topknotted and rather excited being almost pounced on it
saying "Wow! That was great! How'd you that! Could you teach me
how to do that! What did that soldier call you? A my drool? Yuck! Do
you drool a lot? Or was it a mud-rail? What is a mud-rail anyway?"
The
myrddraal (after recovering from this second) stared at the small
being with its pasty white and eyeless face and readied its poisonous
black blade to strike while its victim was paralysed with fear.
Except
that its victim wasn't paralysed.
"Hey do
you know that you have no eyes? Do you bump into things a lot?".
Tas stared
at the myrddraal's face and noticed with interest the interesting
sensations happening in his stomach. "Hey that's really cool!
When you stare at me I get the same tingly feeling that I get with
Lord Soth. Do you know Lord Soth? He's a death knight and you kind
of look the same. Well you are both really pale and wear black."
"Are you
sick, is that why you are so white?"
The
myrddraal just stood there. This sort of thing was way out of
its experience. Normally when it appeared, people just screamed,
fainted or ran away.
Fearless
or not, it decided to kill this annoying creature and raised it
sword. Or would have had it still be holding its sword.. If it could
feel emotions it would have be puzzled. It checked to see that it
hadn't resheathed its sword. No. Then it looked at the annoying
creature.
Tas was
inspecting the sword. It was jet black and he thought it looked
'evil' which only increased his curiosity. A rasping noise, like
rotten leather breaking, distracted him from his new 'treasure'.
"Give me
my sword miserable.."
Tas looked
at the sword then at the myrddraal.
"Oh is
this yours? You must have dropped it or something.."
The
myrddraal growled and Tas handed back the sword. The myrddraal
snatched it back.
Tas looked
offended "hey no need to be rude! You should be happy that I found
it for you."
"Say
your voice sounds really strange. Do you have a sore throat? I had a
sore throat once and the village healer gave me something.." the
kender started rummaging through his pouches and after a few moments
brought out a stopped phial filled with a yellowish liquid.
He
proffered it to the myrddraal who cautiously accepted it. It looked
at the kender (well Tas thought it was but it was a bit hard to
tell).
"You
drink it see." Tas mimed putting something to his lips and
drinking. Bemused (well it would have been if it had emotional
capacity) the myrddraal drank the mixture. It hiccupped and promptly
turned into a black chicken that looked about confusedly. A few
seconds later it regained its original form with a loud 'ber-gerk!'.
"Oh
sorry, that must have the wrong phial. I guess Raistlin must have
lost it.." He rummaged in his pouches again and managed to find an
other stopped phial. The liquid in this one seemed more viscous than
the other and appeared to have a greenish tinge.
Tas
offered it to the myrddraal, but having learnt from the first
experience it stepped back to be out of the kender's reach. Tas
shrugged and returned the mixture to his pouches.
Deciding
that this time it would bring an end to this irritating being, it
once again gripped its sword tighter. Or rather its hand gripped
itself since its sword was once again missing. It looked at its
sheathe then at the kender.
"Sword.."
its decayed voice growled.Tas looked
at the black blade in his hand.
"Hey you
really should be more carefully with your possessions! It's a good
thing that I'm here to help you find them again!"
By this
time the myrddraal had worked out the only way to deal with a kender.
It leapt for the nearest shadow and fled.
It stepped
out of the shadow into a .. place. Looking around it, it let out a
deep breath that it hadn't realised that it had been holding. That
annoying little creature was nowhere in sight! Its sense of peace was
abruptly shattered about 2 seconds later upon hearing a high pitched
voice say
"Wow
that was fun! Do you think that I could learn how to do that?"The
myrddraal choked back a what might have ended as a scream and then
realising that the kender's attention was now on his surroundings,
promptly used the diversion to finally escape.
Kender
generally have a very short attention span and it is not hard to
distract them especially if they suddenly find themselves in an
'interesting' place (which most normal people wouldn't approach
from about a 1000 leagues away). Tas was now in such a place as he
had never seen before. He was in an enormous cavern. Before him a
lake of molten lava bubbled, occasionally shooting up yellow flames.
It was not however this that fascinated the kender but the ceiling of
the cavern. Or rather where the ceiling should have been. Instead,
Tas found himself gazing up through a volcano's vent towards a sky
that was the colour of midnight and studded with racing clouds
striped red, yellow and black
"Wow
someone has interesting taste in decoration.."
"WHO ARE
YOU MORTAL THAT DARES DISTURB ME?"
The voice
hammered into Tas' mind and looked around to see who had spoken but
there was no-one else. He answered anyway since he was polite.
"I'm
Tasslehoff Burrfoot but my friends call me Tas. Who are you?"
If voices
could blink, this one might of.
"SHAI'TAN."
"What?"
"SHAI'TAN.""Tan."
"TAN
WHAT?"
"You
said 'say Tan' so I did."
"I DID
NOT. THAT IS MY NAME INSOLENT MORTAL."
"Oh. And
I'm not insolent.. Hey wait a minute did you say 'mortal'? Does
that mean that you are 'immortal'?"
"ER..
YES.." The conversation was beginning to confuse Shai'tan. Being
a Force of Evil, normally everyone just grovelled before him.
"Wow, so
are you a god? Is that why I can't see you?"
"ER..
YES, YOU COULD CALL ME A GOD I SUPPOSE.."
"You
suppose? You mean you don't know if you are a god or not? That's
a bit strange. I mean, I'm sure that if I was a god I'd know
it.." The kender prattled on but Shai'tan ignored him. He was
busy summoning all his chosen disciples, and as many trollocs as they
could muster, to get rid of the annoying creature. Having no hands
really sucks he thought. I'll have to do something about
that..
Fortunately the Force of Evil didn't have to suffer very long as very soon his chosen ones started arriving. Along with a few thousand trollocs.
Tas stared at the people stepping out of mid air seeming everywhere. There were also a lot of those beast headed men things. No one looked the least bit friendly and they all seemed to be advancing on him.
Kender
have no fear but they do know a Bad Thing when they see it. Judging
that thirteen human mages (they must be mages he mused since they
just popped out of the air) and several thousand man-beasts to be
just such a Bad Thing, he rummaged in his pouches and brought out the
magical pendant. Quickly he transformed it while saying the rhyme to
activate it. He disappeared under the eyes of his astonished
would-be attackers just before they pounced. Since Tas was no longer
there, they all ended up in a confused jumble of bodies, arms and
legs.
Had the
Force of Evil a body, he would have sighed and put his head in his
hands.
Back at Solace, Tas looked at the time travel device and sighed. He really should give it back to Caramon and settle down. He did have another nifty souvenir to add to his collection though, this time from his latest adventure. A jet black cloak that strangely didn't seem to move at all in the gentle breeze that had just sprang up..
The end
