I do not own TF2

Hurray for angsty Medic. LULZ

Medic POV

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They hate me, I'm pretty sure of it. But that is the point isn't it? Poor children, they don't understand that there is no war, that this is all a farce. A deadly game of RED verses BLU, nothing more.

If I told them why I am so cruel, they would care for me, and I cannot have that. I will not see brave young men go to the coliseum to die for the amusement of some rich bastard. So for my team's sake, I am cruel.

It is most lucky that I am the Medic, after all, they could have had some crackpot with no official training. As Medic, I have a large amount of power over them, after all, I am the person who stitches them back together again.

But I never use painkillers.

They must learn to never, never, NEVER, be hit by the other team; injury means that they cannot protect each other. It is tough lesson, but easily learned and remembered when enforced by pain. I will not see any of them sent away in body bags, to be replaced by some poor sap who does not know anything. The more experienced they are, the better chance they will make it out alive.

I love them all, every single one, no matter what I say or do to them.

I rather die then let them die. So I push them away, can you understand that? That is why I am so visibly cruel to everyone. If they do not care for me, they will not put themselves in danger for me. If they believe me to be an incurable murderer, they will not try to get to close to me when I fight.

You understand right? I always go to fight the most dangerous opponent, always. You have seen me do so.

I will not let anyone touch them, as long as I live. I have torn my soul apart for them, and I will do so as many times as necessary.

I hate the way that I act on the battle field, I hate it. I despise the blood and suffering I cause. I don't want to have to rip my opponents to shreds, to have to rip out their organs while they wither in their own blood. I hate it all.

But nothing less would push them away, you understand right? Nothing less would do it. You know the cruelty my Spy is capable of, I had to go further than him, or he would try to save me.

You understand don't you?

I'm glad that they have not tried to save me, though I sit here with you, bound in this room. It would be foolish for them to try, and I do not want them to be hurt. Please, God, let them not be hurt, let them not try.

I suppose, with this injury of mine, I will die in a couple of hours. But that does not matter, if it means that your team will not fight them tomorrow. They need the time to rest, please, I beg of you. Please don't fight them tomorrow.

You understand why I did everything right? So please just give me this last wish.

"Poor doctor, you 'haf suffered so much for us. Zher iz no need for you to worry, zough we 'haf disobeyed your wishes, we are unhurt."

Spy? What are you doing here? Are you a hallucination caused by blood loss? What happened to the BLU Sniper?

"Hush doctor, just rest. I will get you out of here. No worries. As for zhe Sniper…" I've never seen you smile so widely Spy. "Let us just say he is taking a lettle nap."

So I'm saved? How? Why?

"Why?" My voice whispers softly, sounding like a file running over metal. "Why?"

"Doctor…" Your face is so gentle Spy…I have never seen this before. "You are not zee only one who wears masks. We 'haf all seen you cry for what you have done, vhen you zink zhat you are alone. Ve could not leave you, know zhat you are a kind person below."

"Then why…?"

"Sometimes doctor, it iz our masks that keep us going. Hush now, you vill be 'ome before you know it."

I don't really believe this, I can't let myself believe that this is real. The needle that Spy is sliding into my arm is real enough, as is the clear drug that is sliding into my veins. I will die, more than likely, so there is nothing to look forward to.

I hope that my team will continue to survive.

Spy's arms are so warm, so very warm. I never thought I would be warm again, never. Not after I killed my first man. Strange, I suppose this is the peace that death brings….

***

"You got him Spy?"

"Yes, he iz not in good shape, I zink zhat we should hurry."

"Alright, let's bring Medic home."