It Won't Never be a Goodbye.
Is there any goodbye for us?
Not in the past, not in the present, not in the future.
When Ae-shin opened her eyes, she saw a familiar scenery. The same greenery at the lake of klin site. Hongpa's little tavern, that little dock, and the boat. Everything is the same but a bit foggy. And she saw that familiar board back of Eugene on the dock, clad in his dark blue suit, the color she picked for him once. Without hesitation, she moved forward to his side.
He turned his head when he heard her footsteps.
"Are you waiting too long?" She asked.
"No, not at all. I'm standing here just a moment ago." He flashed his ever dashing smile to her.
They looked to each other face in silence. It's like they just meet yesterday, everything is still the same. His usual dark blue suit; his clean-shaved and manly face; and big smile of his. Ae-shin, too; her colorful silk hanbok; her petite yet strong feature; and her beautiful cute smile, just like the old times, when their living in happy and peaceful days once.
"Have you been well?" He asked, not leaving his gaze at her.
"Never been better. Because you are here. How about you?"
He chuckled, "Better than ever. I'm glad we could meet again."
He reached her hand, and continued "So I could hold your hand again like this..." slowly he put her hand on his face "I could feel your warmth again like this..." then he pull her body to his embrace "...hug you like this and never be apart again..."
The wave of nostalgia hits Ae-shin. Her long and difficult way to him, who farther than sea. Finally she could be his arms again. She knew too well, her waiting to this moment was too long. She couldn't hold back the tears; the tears of joy because to be here with him; tears of lonely nights when she missed him too much that it hurts; tears of mourning for all people she had lost; and tears of heartbreak and regret why all she did was making them apart.
She was sobbing and wailing so hard in his arms. He just held her tight and patted her head gently. She knew he was crying too in silent.
They stayed like that for awhile, to feel each other presence and make sure it was real; not just a dream.
When she felt more calm, she pulled back, just wanted to see his face.
As a gentleman ever, he took this handkerchief from his uniform and cleaned her tears from her face gently.
"Don't cry so much from now on. I'll be by your side, we'll be together this time."
His baritone voice and his gentle hands on her face makes her calmer. Yes, from now on we'll be always together.
Ae-shin exhaled and cleared her throat. "Exchanging names, hand shaking, hugging, longing, flower-gazing, fishing, and holding hand. Tell me, what is the next step of love?" She asked even though she knows the answer.
It makes his stopped for a moment and smiled.
"The next would be a 'kiss', I suppose."
Ae-shin smiled so bright. "Let's do 'kiss', then."
His head slowly moved toward hers and lifted her head. Ae-shin closed her eyes, feeling the sensation his warm lips on hers. She couldn't hold back to not return the kiss and pull his body towards her. Even though she didn't know whether she did it right or not; it was her first kiss, their first kiss.
She just wanted to cherish that moment for so long. It was the closest their ever been, and the fact that all the waiting to be together was over now, it seemed they did they right thing.
Eugene pulled back and put his forehead on hers. They're both out of breath, but still longing for each other touch.
"Let's be always together from now on. I don't want to be apart again." He said quietly after the overwhelming sensation calmed down.
"Yes, I agree. I will go with you this time. After all, I promised I come to you when Joseon regain its peace."
She pulled back then put her hands on his cheeks to gaze at his eyes and continued. "I'm sorry for making you wait all these years and for you to sacrifice all the things you had. Thank you for always helping me back then. I thank you for loving me and being with me. I love you, Choi Yu-Jin; in the past, in the present, and in the future." Love confession which she always wished she said back then.
He looked at her with teary eyes, then he put his lips on her forehead. "You fought well. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone. Thank you for loving me back. I love you, too in the past, in the present, and in the future." He whispered and hugged her tightly. The stayed like that for awhile, so close to each other reminiscing all they had been through; the peace, the laugh, the tears, and the heartbreak in the past.
He let go to hold her both hands and faced her.
"I think it's time for us to go. I'll be your wherryman this time too. Let's meet again and do love in the next life, I'll find you, like always. Because where you headed, I'll go the same way." He smiled.
Ae-shin nodded and smiled "I'll find you too. Let's not say 'goodbye', it's 'see you'. See you again."
They walked hand in hand to the boat. To their peace of the after life and the next life, together this time.
Ae-shin opened her eyes, felt the tears on the cheek. I wonder what kind of dream I had. I never remember the detail, but the warmth, the pain, and other things I don't quite sure what was that always lingers the moment I opened my eyes...
Her phone's alarm ringing. Oh, shit it's already 8:00! I'm gonna be late!
She hurriedly out from her apartment and started to run. Oh god, what a good way to start a day, she thought sarcastically, it's gonna be a long day...
On the way to her apartment, she passed the music box's store around the corner. She was standing and staring at one music box on the display that she thought look so familiar. She lost in thought and curious what would the music box sound like.
Her phone rang, "Yang-hwa"was display as the caller. Almost forgot I already late for dinner plan with her...
"Hello, Yang-hwa. Yes, I'm on my way. Sorry I was at library and didn't realize time passes so quickly! I'll be there soon."
She left the store and walked a bit faster towards her apartment.
Just like any other day, she woke up with the tears on her cheek again. It's getting more frequent since I came back from Korea last vacation, I wonder why. Is the dream actually tried to tell me something...?
Ae-shin sighed, but thinking too much won't help... I don't have class today but I need to get the report done. Okay, let's go to library again, she decided and got up from bed.
Ae-shin walked slowly to her way home after she finished her assignment, her feet felt heavy. She decided to walk pass the campus library's park. There is a fountain near it, maybe a bit rest would be better, she thought.
When she walked towards the fountain, she saw a man sitting by it. He looked like a Korean around 30s, he has a clean shaved manly face and his eyes obviously stared at Ae-shin with unreadable expression. She couldn't help but stop her step and stare back. There are familiar feeling that she couldn't finger about that man. Suddenly a tear was falling down from her eyes that she didn't understand what for and startled that man. He hurriedly stand up and walk towards her.
"Do you need... a handkerchief?" He was speaking in Korean and his hand offering a clean-white handkerchief.
Ae-shin nodded and took that handkerchief. Something familiar about this man... and she wants to find out. But first, I need to calm down.
"Thank you. Sorry for dirtying your handkerchief. May I wash it first before I return it to you...?"
"It's really okay! I have plenty of it. You don't have to return it." He stopped, "or you should. I'm sorry have we meet before?" His eyes looking at something on hers.
Ae-shin didn't know what to say... because she is really sure that she haven't meet him, but it also feels like she had.
"Not sure, are you from this campus too? I'm a master student here, major in Astronomy."
He looked a bit surprised. "Well, I did graduate from here a couple years ago."
"You are my senior, then." Ae-shin smiled.
That man taken aback a moment when he saw her smile then he was smiling too.
"May I know your name...? I'm Eugene Choi, by the way. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Go Ae-shin. Nice to meet you too. I'm sorry if sound rude, are you Korean too?"
"I was born and raised here, so I'm an American. But indeed both of my great grandparents is Korean, so I could speak Korean quite fluently."
"It's that so... I'm glad I could meet people like you." She said thoughtlessly, not realizing it could be misunderstood.
That man was blushing a bit and laughing. "Oh my, this is first time I heard from people I just introduced my name with."
Realizing her mistake, "NO! I mean people who speaks Korean too! Like you! Haha." she laughed nervously.
He gave a big smile "Yes, I know. I'm just messing around. As an apology, can I buy you a dinner or a drink?"
"Well, I'm on my way to have a dinner, so I will take your kind offer." Ae-shin couldn't help but smile too.
While they're walking side by side, Ae-shin feels familiar about him; his step, his board body, his presence, his voice, and his face. Like she knew this man so well in her life, the nostalgic feeling like you just met your old friend.
"Actually I saw you yesterday when you were standing in front of music box store on the corner." He started to converse again.
"Oh yeah? Well, I often pass that store on my way home. Yesterday I was curious about some music box on display. It's weird because I never had a music box before."
"Do you mind if we to go to that store first? I just remember I had to take back my repaired music box because yesterday the store was closed. The owner is my friend, if you interested buying something, I'll persuade him to give you a discount."
"Okay, I wouldn't mind. And thanks again for the offer, I'll keep that in mind."
They walked slowly to the store. Even though they're not talking to each other, the silence didn't feel awkward.
He opened the store's door and let Ae-shin enter first. "We're here. Please, after you."
"Hi, Joseph! Did you finished my music box? Sorry I couldn't come as soon as you called." Eugene spoke in English and called somebody the moment they're in.
"Hello, Eugene. Oh my, who's that lovely young lady?" The man called Joseph came from the staff door and greet him with big smile. He is tall, blond, looks like in his 50s, and his face looked really friendly.
"Oh yes, I just got acquaintance with her. Her name is Ae-shin Go." Eugene introduced her.
"Hello, I'm Ae-shin. Nice to meet you, sir."
Ae-shin smiled and offer her hand.
"No need to be stiff! Call me Joseph. I know Eugene since he was a kid, so he's kinda like a family to me." His big and warm hand take her hand for a hand shake. "Right, about your box. Wait here, Eugene, I'll fetch it for you in the back. Please, feel free to look around, Ae-shin." He's back to where he came.
The store is fascinating. There are plenty various size and shape of music box and its song.
"He makes all the music box here and actually a composer too. Most of it are popular song for music box and some others are his own. Actually it's pretty good."
Ae-shin nodded "That's very impressive. No wonder all so beautiful."
"Sorry for the wait. Here's your music box, Eugene, as good as new." Joseph back again with a music box in his hand.
"Thanks a lot! Let me hear it first." Eugene took it and opened the box's lid to test the sound. The familiar folk song "Greensleves" tune came from the box.
Ae-shin stunned. The moment the melody hit her ears, in her head she saw something, like a flashing memory. Somewhere in sometime. Lots of Eugene face, Eugene smile, Eugene tears. And some others she felt dearly to her even though she didn't know who they were. It's too much, is that my previous life?
And suddenly it became dark.
"See you again." Said someone. A young woman, Eugene couldn't remember the face of that person in his dream but her voice.
He woke with confusion and lots of sweat and... tears?
He wiped the tears and got up from bed. He looked outside from window, the sky is still dark. I still have plenty of time before work, maybe it'll be better if I exercise a bit.
He changed his pajama to his gym clothes and went out from his room to jog.
When he on his way home from work, suddenly he remembered Joseph's call about his music box. He turned around his car and went there to pick it up. When he walked from car parking lot, he saw someone who standing and looking the store window. A beautiful young Korean woman, still in her 20s, quite petite feature. Something so familiar about her, Eugene only could look at her face from the side because she facing the shop window.
Suddenly a phone ringtone rang from her. She seems startled and pick it up.
"Hello, Yang-hwa. Yes, I'm on my way. Sorry I was at library and didn't realize time passes so quickly! I'll be there soon." she spoke in Korean then she left.
The moment he heard her voice, Eugene saw something in his head. There are lots of flashing memory of that woman face, smile, and tears. "I want be like a flame." She said with determined face. Other faces, Joseph was one of them.
His legs felt weak and he fall to the ground. And suddenly everything was stopping. He was out of the breath; didn't comprehend what just happened. He sat on the ground for awhile and people start to stare at him. He tried to stand up and leaned to wall to calm his nerve. After he felt a bit calm he decided to go home. I need to see her again. I'll be back here tomorrow, he thought.
He has a haunch he would meet that woman again if he wait in the library park's fountain. Yesterday he saw she held a book with campus' library label, so he was guessing she is one of this school's student.
He waited near library's park fountain while he observed people around. This place was perfect because only through this park he could go to music box's store from campus building.
He waited for awhile then that woman showed up. He couldn't help but staring. The familiar feeling from his memory flooded in his head. She felt she was being stared at then she looked at him. They're staring at each other, feeling nostalgic. Is she really the woman in my dream?
Suddenly he saw a tear falling on her face, then unconsciously he already walked towards her and took his handkerchief.
"Do you need... a handkerchief?" He thought he should have said in Korean and offered his handkerchief from his pocket. Please say yes, this is the excuse to know you more, he thought.
Thankfully, she nodded and took the handkerchief from his hand. A single touch from her, flashing another memory on his head.
"Would you do love, with me?" The same-faced woman wearing a beautiful hanbok who stand in front of him asked.
"Thank you. Sorry for dirtying your handkerchief. May I wash it first before I return it to you...?" Back to reality, that woman standing in front of him asked.
"It's really okay! I have plenty of it. You don't have to to return it." Eugene said and suddenly stopped, "or you should. I'm sorry have we meet before?"
She looked a bit confused what to say, then she answered "Not sure, are you from this campus too? I'm a master student here, major in Astronomy."
I knew it! There would be a plenty of chances I'll meet her again. "Well, I did graduate from here a couple years ago."
"You are my senior, then" she was smiling.
Eugene taken aback a moment when she saw her smile, like there is a fuzzy feeling yet calming from that smile, then he was smiling too.
"May I know your name...? I'm Eugene Choi, by the way. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Go Ae-shin. Nice to meet you too. I'm sorry if sound rude, are you Koreans?"
Go Ae-shin. That name indeed ring a bell in Eugene's head.
"I was born and raised here, so I'm an American. But indeed my great grandparents is Korean, so I could speak Korean quite fluently." Thank god for that, she is clearly a foreign student here. She'll more comfortable if I'm conversing in Korean.
"It's that so... I'm glad I could meet people like you." She said unconsciously.
Eugene's heart was skipping a beat. Suddenly feeling nervous then he laughed. "Oh my, this is first time I heard from people I just introduced my name."
She was surprised when she realized her mistake, "NO! I mean people who speaks Korean too! Like you! Haha." she laughed nervously.
He gave a big smile, I think it's my chance to make an excuse to stay longer with her today. "Yes, I know. I'm just messing around. As an apology, can I buy you a dinner or a drink?"
"Well, I'm on my way to have a dinner, so I will take your kind offer." Ae-shin answered and smiled.
Walking side by side Eugene feels nostalgic about her; her step, her petite body, her presence, her voice, and her face. I wonder "we" were walking like this too before...
I want to hear her voice again, he thought and finally asked "Actually I saw you yesterday when you were standing in front of music box store on the corner."
"Oh yeah? Well, I often pass that store on my way home. Yesterday I was curious about some music box on display. It's weird because I never had a music box before." She answered with a tiny smile.
Eugene remembered what he couldn't do yesterday because he was so shocked seeing her for the first time. "Do you mind if we to go to that store first? I just remember I had to take back my repaired music box because yesterday the store was closed. The owner is my friend, if you interested buying something, I'll persuade him to give you a discount." That would be another excuse though, but indeed he need to take that music box.
"Okay, I wouldn't mind. And thanks again for the offer, I'll keep that in mind." She said.
They fall silent again and walked slowly to the store. The silence didn't feel awkward. Eugene felt comfortable around her even though just walk in silent like this.
When they arrived at the store, he opened the ever familiar store's door and let Ae-sin enter first. "We're here. Please, after you." He said.
"Hi, Joseph! Did you finished my music box? Sorry I couldn't come as soon as you called." Eugene called Joseph from the store as soon they stepped in.
"Hello, Eugene. Oh my, who's that lovely young lady?" Joseph came from the staff door and greet him with big smile.
"Oh yes, I just got acquaintance with her. Her name is Ae-shin Go." Eugene introduced her to his dear friend.
"Hello, I'm Ae-shin. Nice to meet you, sir."
Ae-sin said in English then smiled and offered her hand to Joseph. She is actually already familiar with American culture and speak English quite fluent. Why didn't he offer her hand when I asked her name...? Oh god no, I'm now having a silly thought, am I not? He chukled at his silliness.
"No need to be stiff! Call me Joseph. I know Eugene since he was a kid, so he's kinda like a family to me." Joseph's big hand take her hand for a hand shake. "Right, about your box. Wait here, Eugene, I'll fetch it for you in the back. Please, feel free to look around, Ae-shin." He's back to where he came.
Ae-shin looked around in awe at the store.
That eyes looked so sparkly, charmed Eugene.
"He makes all the music box here and actually a composer too. Most of it are popular song for music box and some others are his own. Actually it's pretty good." Eugene started explaining.
Ae-shin nodded "That's very impressive. No wonder all so beautiful." She smiled again. I couldn't get enough to see her smile...
"Sorry for the wait. Here's your music box, Eugene, as good as new." Joseph back again with a music box in his hand.
"Thanks a lot! Let me hear it first." Eugene took it and opened the box's lid to test the sound. The familiar folk song "Greensleves" tune came from the box.
Suddenly he heard a thud sound from his back and turned his head to Ae-shin. She dropped her hand bag and looked stun then started to fall, he reflexes caught her body so she didn't fall too hard on the floor. Everything happened in seconds, but it felt like time ticking too slow for Eugene. When he held her body, on his head he saw another flashed memory.
"Don't cry. This is my history and my love story. That's why I must go." He said to that woman. She looked sad then something happened. He felt the pain and the last thing he remember is her wailing when she called his name "Choi Yu-Jin!"
"Eugene! What happened? Are you alright?" Joseph's face in front of him looked full of worry.
Joseph's voice turned his reality again.
"I don't think so. I'm sorry Joseph, could you lent me your sofa for this lady? I think she need a rest for a bit." He said, still in shocked what he just saw in his head.
"Of course! You okay? I can carry her."
"No, I think I'm okay now. I'll carry her." He carried her limp body to the back room.
Joseph held the door to make a way for them. And searched for a blanket in his work room. When Eugene already put Ae-shin in Joseph's sofa, he gave the blanket to him.
"Here. I think you have to accompany her. I've run out of a tea and will go out buy it now. I'll make it for her so when she's wake up it'll calm her a bit."
"Thank you, Joseph. I truly appreciate it."
Joseph's walked out from his store and left Eugene alone with Ae-shin. He thought he just needed to make a room for them.
Eugene put Ae-shin's head on his lap. He was thinking again about the "memory" that he saw.
I'm sure now we're already meet in our previous life.
He's unconsciously, touching her head gently.
Ae-shin's eyes slowly opened. He stopped. They were staring at each other's eyes. Asking and answering questions in silence. The time passed so slow for both of them.
Eugene cleared his throat to break the silence.
"I'm sorry I had to put your head on my lap. Joseph's doesn't have a pillow here."
Ae-shin still stared at him. And finally slowly spoke, "I found you, Yu-jin."
Eugene didn't believe what she just said. The memory, from his previous life was flooding in his head. It's like he already had them for a long time. His eyes felt so hot and tears started to falling down.
He just missed her so much.
His body shook and he began to whimper. He was longing to have her in his arms for so long.
Ae-shin touched his face and searched his eyes, "Finally I found you... I'm sorry because you waited too long." She whispered.
Eugene sobbed while leaned to her touch. He grabbed her hand, "I won't let you go again."
"Me, too. I won't let you go ever again." She said with reassuring smiled.
They decided to take it slow. After all, knowing all the wounds from past life was not easy. It was their life and yet it wasn't. Sometimes they lost themselves because all the scars from the past are part of them self. They reincarnated as the same old part of themselves but at the same time they were a different people.
But they decided to move on and be their self in present without looking back, and living the long dream; be together.
Eugene would wait for her by campus library park's fountain after Ae-shin's class, then they would stroll in the city while holding hands. Sometimes they would go picnic in Central Park or go on date to Central Zoo on weekend. Or just driving until Long Island to watch sunrise in the sea.
Everything that they never had been doing back then, they did it now together.
After 2 years, Ae-shin would be graduate soon. Eugene waited for this, he would ask her hand to marry him. He already asked her parents permission in secret, and they gave him their 'd make sure he'll kneel in front of her and ask her gently this time.
"I never get tired of this scenery." Ae-sin said when she gazed at the sea while walked on the beach.
"I'm on the beach, but I couldn't see the sea, I saw a woman instead." Eugene said with his big smile.
Ae-shin chuckled. "Keep staring at me, I'll see the sea for your behalf."
Eugene stopped their step and suddenly his face looked so serious. Ae-shin looked at him in confusion. "Did I say something wrong?"
"I like seeing your smile. But I might make you cry." He said.
"What do you mean...?"
Eugene touched her face gently, "You have been through so many things in your precious life. In this life, your unfulfilled dream and hope of your precious life, we are doing it together."
Eugene picked something from his pocket and knelt in front of her, "Go Ae-shin, will you marry me again in this life? I love you the past you, the present you, and the future you."
Ae-shin couldn't hold back the tears when seeing him like this. "Yes, yes, it always be 'yes'! I will marry you Eugene Choi!" She jumped to his, they both fall to the ground and laugh together.
Eugene hugged her on the ground and flipped her body so he got up on top of her "I told you I might make you cry; cry of the happiness."He wiped her tears gently.
Ae-shin, who still in tears, grabbed his collar, "Make sure you'll do that often from now on."
"Yes, but first let me put this on your finger." He grabbed her left hand and put the ring on her third finger. A simple and two thin gold band intertwined, so beautiful.
Ae-shin looked her left hand in awe, then looked at Eugene. She beamed her beautiful smile, "The life I have now, I never had it back then. I'm so grateful and thankful for it, thank you for all the love you have for me. I love you, I've always been in love with you. In the past, in the present, and in the future."
Eugene's eyes became a bit teary when he heard that, he slowly moved his head to meet her warm lips. The kiss was a slow and lovingly, wished they could stop the time and make it last forever. And it did because forever was just starting.
"On the day we finally become one, with you at the end of this life."
AN: the pain when seeing the final episode still lingers. I did my best to write the happy ending that they deserve; Ae-shin who freely choose to be with Eugene despite everything else; Eugene is being loved by Ae-shin as passionate as he was.
It cures me from the sad ending, I hope it does too for you. Thank you for enjoying this.
The last part is the translation lyrics from one of Mr. Sunshine' ost, "The Day" by Park Hyo Shin. I love this series ost!
Update 12/14: finally I could edit this from my computer. Sorry for the shitty format earlier. Thank you again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this. Till we meet again!