Life Lessons

"Mom, please... Let me out" begged a faint voice from the wooden closet. It was high-pitched full of despair and fear. "I haven't done anything wrong!" The figure who stands in front of the piece of furniture just laughs a little, which sent shivers down to Matthias spine. It was so different from the usual laughs full of joy and love. Or as it sounded to others. Matthias suspected from the beginning that they were fake. It might be because of the parent-child contact they had, but even though Matthias was only 4, he knew the whole thing was a performance.

"Oh, dear... You trying to say, I am punishing you for nothing?" Her tone was the same as her laugh. Arrogant, provocative and Matthias felt like she made fun of him.

"Then, tell me! Why did I deserved the punishment?"asked desperately Matthias, trying to find a way out of the small and comfortless wardrobe. She smirked, from hearing that his son was capable for thinking, even if it was little.

"You showed weakness. You shouldn't do that. You must act happy all the time, and others will think you're confident and fine. This is a lesson you will have to follow all the time."

"If you say so..."

"I don't think you understand, Matthias. Being sad or anything else shows you're weak. You have to act like you aren't one. Never get upset, angry or confused. Act like you have no problems. And the most important. Never, ever ask for help."

And with this, 4-year-old Matthias learnt his first lesson.

~8~

Matthias fought with his tears and tried his best to smile. A red patch could be seen on his left cheek, resembling a hand.

"Why, do I get it this time?" he asked with a weak voice. His legs were shaking almost unable to hold the body. They were also full of purple and green patches, even some blood. But, he still tried to stand up. He looked up his mother and muttered out a weak smile.

"Well, at least you got that thing right" came her cold and distant voice. "But you have to learn a lot." She leaned closer to Matthias, who jumped a little. "I do this to you, because I want the best for you."

"I know, Mommy..." He answered as quickly as possible. She smiled some gentleness could be found in her eyes. These moments were the reason why he lived for.

"That's good. You listened that bitch, you shouldn't do that!" she shouted at him suddenly.

"What? But Daddy said I should treat Lora nicely and listen to her" he said timidly, already afraid of the answer he will get.

"No, you shouldn't!"A scream. Her arm swung and the next thing Matthias knew is the ache on his other cheek. "Look, Matthias. They try to control you! Everyone does! Always be sure in yourself, or at least pretend that, and then they can't control you!"

"But Mommy, it means I shouldn't listen to you neither" he told her with a tiny, shaking voice. However, instead of becoming angrier, his mother's features softened and started talking to him with a gentle voice.

"There's a huge difference between them and me. I want the best for you... they just want to control you!"

Matthias just nodded, not want to break his mother's sudden cheer. Meanwhile he tried his best to memorize was just he heard. His vision was fuzzy, and his legs weren't capable to hold his weight anymore. He collapsed on the floor. The last thing 8-years-old Matthias heard was an angry shout.

~ 11~

Coldness rushed through Matthias as his face was drowned in the sink full of water and ice cubes. His mother had just beat him up, and she tried to make the bruises disappear for Monday. His mother told him that these marks were the sign of weakness. Therefore they needed to be covered.

His mother forced down his head under the icy liquid. His scream lost in the water block around him. He was desperately searching for oxygen, unsuccessfully.

When he struggled enough, his mother released him, so he could breath. Instead of pushing him back, as she did it in the last 10 minutes, his mother gripped his tiny shoulders and made him face her.

"So, you know why did you got that, right?" she asked like he could speak.

"No, mom, I do not... Why do I got the punishment?"

"Because, you were so idiotic. How could you be so useless? Remember your own reputation is the most important. Nothing else matters. So it's not a problem if you change the details a little. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, mommy" came the faint reply from the panting child.

"So, what are you going to say next time when they ask you about a progress you made?"

"Lie" as soon as the sentence left his mouth, he felt a kick between his ribs.

"No, Matthias. It's not a lie. I'm going to punish you, if I ever hear that again. Now stand up! Your bruises are still there." Matthias obeyed just to feel the cold again. "How problematic. It will take longer than before" he heard something like that, while slowly falling in the darkness.

His mother sighed as he watched the unconscious boy collapsed on the floor. She picked him up, carried him to a closet and throw him in.

"Look at yourself. I couldn't even bring you your present" she said with a melancholic voice. "Happy 11th birthday, Matthias."

~ 14~

"So, you really never listens to me!" screamed his mother at him. "Seems like nothing works!" she noted still screaming. The she slowed her breath, and said with a normal volume "Because you never listen to me, you won't eat anything until I say so. Got it? That's you punishment!"

"But, Mommy! You never said anything about this!" he said with a tiny voice, testing his courage. His mother turned around a glared at him.

"What with this tone! You're getting into adolescence, aren't you? Now that won't go. Listen carefully! I'm your mother and I do everything for you. It's for your own good. Now, what did I tell you in the last 16 years you spent on this planet?" Matthias was too afraid to answer. So he just nodded. He also didn't even dare to correct his mother, about his age. He is just 14. But it's not like it would matter. "Well, then you should know why. I told you! Your reputation is the most important. And then what do you do? Get into a fight!"

"But, Mommy. They bullied Lo-" The sudden brave caught him, but immediately died, as his mother interrupted him.

"I don't care! I don't care if he dies! You should get along with everyone! Can't you listen to me once in a while! It was none of your business! You just got enemies! Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Mommy" he answered fear in his voice.

"That's great! So, what will happen the next time?"

"I will ignore it, Mommy" he repeated monotonously.

"That's right. And by the way, you aren't a child anymore. Don't call me Mommy."

~ 16~

"I wonder if you can feel anything besides happiness, dumbass" glared at him his 'best friend', Lukas while strangling him with his own tie. It happened often. It hurt, and because of it, he had to take breath rapidly after. The offends were also painful to hear, but Matthias never showed it.

"What else should I feel?" he asked with toothy grin.

"Something else" came the reply from Lukas' younger brother, Emil. Just like Lukas, his voice was free from enthusiasm.

"Ah, guys, don't be like that! Be happy!"

"It isn't worth it."

"You're an idiot."

Matthias was about to answer him, when his phone rang. It was his mother, so he quickly picked up the mobile.

"Hi, Mom! Is so-"

"Is this Matthias Densen?" asked an unknown voice of a older male.

"Yes, it's" asked Matthias, panic rising in his chest.

"I'm sorry to inform you, that your mother collapsed and now is in hospital. Her chances aren't the best. She is in the surgery right now."

Suddenly he felt sick. Sick from everything, but mainly from himself. He started vomiting, his legs shaking. He managed to falter out "I'll go in."

~ still 16~

In the hospital, he was just staring out of his mind, not even hearing what the other's said. Not if he would care anyway. He could just only think about one thing. That it was his fault. Whose else could it be?

But then another thought came in his mind. You have to act happy! Come on get out of this state.

He suddenly sat up, forced a smile on his face, the sparks back in his eyes. Looked at his companions.

"Thanks for escorting me, but there was no need for it. Mom will be fine." The reaction he got wasn't what he anticipated. Everyone smiling back, then leave. Instead of that everyone scowled at him, but didn't move. "So, what're you doing here? You can leave, you know..."

"Why would we leave?" snorted Emil.

"Why would you stay here?" asked Matthias back. This seemed to caught everyone off guard.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Tino, stunned.

"There's no reason for you to be here" he said casually.

"We are here for emotional support. Isn't it obvious?"

"Well, I don't need it. I'm completely fine."

"No, you're not. Don't be dumb-" started his usual offenses Lukas, but Matthias interrupted him.

"Can't you see I'm fine?" His voice growing colder.

"You're not-"

"Can't you see I'm fine?" He feels his sanity slowly slipping out.

"No, you-"

"Can't you see I'm doing fine? Could you please shut up, at least once? I don't need anyone's help, because I feel great. My mom will be fine, and it's pretty unnecessary for you to be here. You just make the situation worse. Don't you have to do anything else, or what? Please leave already" he rose his voice up, and it became cold. As cold as his mother's. The others were never scared of him, but now they certainly were. Not because he was dangerous more because it was unusual to see him like this. It actually never happened. He had never showed what1s behind the mask. Until now.

They slowly got up and left.

Later the doctor told him his mother was dead.

He went home to isolate himself in the closet. The good, old closet, he spent so many hours in, because of punishment.

Then he started crying, planning to finish it before his father arrives. Because nobody can see him cry, or just being upset.

Author's Note: Hey, I hope you liked it! It's a one-shot, but I might continue it later.

Now, if anyone have a critic for me, feel free to send me in. Unless it's not just hate. I know the end was quite quickie...

And then mistakes could happen and you know just correct me.

I don't why did I wrote it, but it just happened. Might be, because I always loved angst and my favorite character is Denmark...

What I add as plus information (actually, to help you understand the situation more, because I'm bad at writing):

I tried to make Matthias' mother more like a crazy person than an evil one, a bit more relatable... She is still not one.

Lora is his stepmother, whom the mother isn't fond of. I think you can get one of the reasons, why she is batshit crazy.

I got the drowning scene from 'Boku Dake na Inai Machi', where the mother did that. I don't know if it actually works in real life.

So, thank you for reading my story, have an awesome day!