Come Back To Me
Chapter 1: Longing
A/N: Well, to tell you honestly I originally ship Arima and Kaneki/Haise but from all is what happening currently to Shuu, I can't help but feel bad on him. That's why I am here writing a story for the two of them! I think they deserve some love! Even for just a little while xD Well, I've written this hastily so I might revised it later on… I will not hold you anymore! Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!
P.S. Of course I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or Tokyo Ghoul: re all credits goes to the one of the most amazing and brilliant mangaka I have encountered in my life, Ishida Sui- sensei.
" Hmmm.. hmm.." humming a song Master Shuu used to sing with me, I currently watering the roses in Tsukiyama's garden. From all is what happening from the past three years, it is the only thing right now that makes me relax and take my mind off from all the problems we are experiencing right now. But this short self-indulgence is interrupted when I heard one of my fellow servants' voice.
"Mister Kanae?" I turned around to see ten of them standing on the door.
"What it is now, Sara?" I sighed.
"We may need your assistance with Master Shuu. He's been in pain again. We can't help because he doesn't want us to enter his room. What should we do?"
"Alright, I'll go straight away to him. You could continue to your other chores now."
"Thank you sir"
.
.
I made my way into Master Shuu's room. At first, all you could hear is silence but as I got near from it, I could hear his low voice, murmuring how much pain he's experiencing right now.
I knocked into his door desperately.
"Master Tsukiyama! It is me Kanae… Please let me in! You might hurt yourself even more! Please! Let me in and help you sir!"
"I-I don't need help from any of you! JUST-JUST LEAVE ME ALONE KANAE!" He really sounded so pained… I feel really bad for him…
"I SAID GO!" Master Shuu shouted to me from his room.
"As you wish Master… If.. if you need anything, I-I'm just right here near your room…" is all I could reply to him. I wiped the single tear that came out from my eyes. He pushed me away again. I can't force my help into him for I know how Master Shuu doesn't want to feel so helpless. I couldn't just make him see how… how bad his condition right now.
I can't do anything but watch as he suffers. I don't really know the entire story why he is being like this. This is not the Master Shuu I've known before. All I know is all of this happens because of that half-ghoul brat died. I can't seem to understand why Master Shuu is being like that for a person he just met for what.. a year? I even wasn't able to meet him in person. So why? What is so special in this guy? I know, half-ghouls are rare but I, myself know, I could find him tastier, better meal if he would just give me a chance.
Master Shuu... just how could I possibly help you? I really really want you to get better. I will do anything… kill anyone just for you.. so please, please get better soon… I really miss my old Master Shuu…
"AHHHHH! IT HURTS! IT FUCKING HURTS!" I am currently writhing in pain on my room's floor. My chest is hurting… really really hurting. I don't know the reason but it's been hurting for almost an hour now. I can't also breathe. It's like someone put a heavy object in my chest. I am also hungry… so hungry. When do the last time I ate? What.. a week.. a month.. years… I can't even recall anymore… I am not used being hungry so this is really taking a toll from me.
"Mater Tsukiyama! It is me Kanae… Please let me in! You might hurt yourself even more! Please! Let me in and help you sir!" I heard Kanae knocking desparately onto my door. He's been there quite for a while now.
"I-I don't need help from any of you! JUST-JUST LEAVE ME ALONE KANAE!"
"B-but Master Shuu…"
"I SAID GO!" I snapped at him.
"As you wish Master… If.. if you need anything, I-I'm just right here near your room…" I heard Kanae whispered before he left.
I really feel bad treating him and other family servants we have horribly. I know that all they want is to serve me and ensure my health. Yet I can't help myself to push them away from me… My reason? I just don't deserve them. I don't deserve any care and love they are giving to me because I am worthless. I am weak. Pathetic. I don't deserve to be the heir of this glorious family anymore. I all have failed them…more importantly I have failed him… How can I protect an entire family if I could not even save one fucking ghoul... my friend… I couldn't do anything to save him… and now, he's… he's…
"Ughhh…" just a thought of him being… being dead gave a whole different level of pain with me. I am crying again. I don't recall any instance in my life that I cried like this. It's just too painful to me… physically and emotionally. Of course, I know I could simply end this suffering just from eating a sweet, tastiest meal only our family could afford to. But I can't… No, I don't want to… I don't have any reason to live anymore… I deserve to just rot and die here in starvation and pain. After all its all I could do. Share the pain he felt before he died. It's nothing from what I know he suffered before he died. After all, from what my informants said, he.. he lost from the hands of the fucking unbeatable Death God of CCG. He suffered a lot more from what I experiencing now.
Aside from hunger, the loneliness and grief is slowly killing me. My heart is aching for him. My dolce… it's been too long…
I want him… I still want to eat him.. No.. I just.. I just want to be by his side. Be his sword. Protect him. But I failed him. I am so weak. I promise him that I will protect him with all I have but… I failed..
I need him… I badly need him… Please Kaneki-kun.. Wherever you are… if you could hear me… please I am begging you.. I can't live without you… so please… come back to me…
A/N: There goes Chapter 1! So… how was it? Could you possibly tell me in your reviews? I am fond of reviews.. and also follows.. and favorites! Just don't be shy and hit the necessary buttons! Hahahaha xD I might update sooner or later.. let's just see how everything goes. So Sayonara minna and have a great day! Author's out!