A.N
If there are people offended in a way by reading this they can complain to anyone but not to me because I will make sure to offend them even worse.
This a CRACK STORY so if you don't like crack stories and read this only to flame me in the reviews feel free to fuck off.
The season ended which meant only pure happiness and joy to our favorite Sovereign who dragged Zed into her floating castle, both of them wearing their biggest smiles or grins. They were recognized as a couple for not so long, in fact they started dating this season.
They did it for two reasons, first, they loved each other a lot and second, imagine the Ionian goverment's reaction when they see the most dangerous people in Ionia dating and even having kids!
But whatever, I know what all of you want, you to see those two in bed so let's continue!
It was the first time Zed seen her castle from the inside an if Syndra would've been more patient he would've had time to admire the huge building but soon he found himself in her private her rooms and as soon as the double doors closed behind him she jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips and locking her lips with his.
Right away Zed collapsed on Syndra waaaaaaaaaaaay to oversized when suddenly they heard a very loud bang outside.
Zed broke a kiss and asked:
"What was that?"
A few seconds ago:
A German Tiger Tank was teleported on the floating castle's roof and just so happens that from this roof you could see Syndra's private rooms. The tank itself looked like any other Tiger tank in shape and size but instead of the Nazi cross was a lambda draw on it's armor. And guess who was in teh tank:
"What the actual fuck?!Gabe Newell needs to learn how to teleport things!"Hitler complained while pushing Jodl off him.
"Gunsche get off the periscope I need to find out where we are!"Htiler ordered and Gunsche did as told. Our Fuhrer scanned the area and stopped at out two lust birds.
"What do you see Mein Fuhrer?"Jodl asked.
"Two teens making out!I see two fucking teens making out!"Hitler responded and suddenly a crack was heard.
"What was that?"Gunsche asked.
"It appears that the area upon which we found ourselves can't sustain the weight of the tank."Fegelein said.
"So it will collapse under our weight?"Jodl asked.
"Indeed baldy."Fegelein responded then the roof finally gave up and the tank collapses inside the castle and Hitler managed to shout in the last second:
"FEGELEIN!"
Back in the present.
"Just birds..."Syndra said then locked her lips with Zed again and yes, she just compared the sound of a Tiger tank destroying her roofs with the sounds of birds. Why?Because yolo!
And because the most desired man in the League was hers, hers and only hers and she had him in her bed, there is nothing and let me repeat, NOTHING that can stop her now. Anyone or anything that tries something stupid would be obliterated out OF THE EXISTENCE ITSELF!
FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPERIUM, CHAAAAAAAAAA-
"I don't think that ordinary birds can make that sound.."Zed said breaking another kiss. By this time Syndra started to become annoyed o shed did what her instinct told her to do. She pushed his head into her cleavage of course saying:
"Just birds..."
Meanwhile...
After the failed teleportation attempt, Luigi and Samantha, two of the best Gabe Newell's agents found the Tiger tank with all sorts of curses coming out of it. If you want a description of what these guys are go on ma profile fools.
"Shouldn't we help them?"Samantha asked.
"A tank is designed with a trap door which allows the crew to go in and out of the tank so I think that they are in a pretty decent situation."Luigi said in his usual British accent.
"You heard them Fegelein, open the tank's trap door!"Hitler ordered.
"I would Dolfy but I blocked it."Fegelein responded in a total care free way.
"You blocked it?!"Hitler shouted.
"So we can't get out of the tank?"Jodl asked.
"Exactly baldy."Fegelein responded.
"THIS IS FUCKING RETARDED!HOW COULD YOU BLOCK THE ONE AND ONLY EXIT OF THIS FUCKING TANK?!"Hitler shouted.
"In fact it was quite simple, I just weld it."Fegelein responded.
In the next seconds Hitler pulled out a pistol and started shooting randomly into the tank, hitting only Gunsche's leg.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?WHO SHOOT ME IN THE LEG?!"Gunsche shouted.
"FEGELEIN!FEGELEIN!FEGELEIN!"Hitler responded still shooting his pistol.
"Mein Fuhrer I think you should stop this before you kill us all!"Jodl said.
"DAMMIT BALDY EVEN IN THIS SITUATION YOU ARGUE ABOUT MY PLANS!YOU ARE AN ANNOYING MR PROPER TWIN!"
Samantha sighed while Luigi simply turned around and, before disappearing in a wall, said:
"It is your mission to get our associates out of their iron prison while I go and scout the area."
After mumbling something she got on the tank and said:
"Just how the hell did you managed to trap yourselves in this rusty iron can?"
"DID THAT WINGED BITCH CALLED THE MIGHT OF THE GERMAN TANKS A RUSTY CAN?!"Hitler shouted which made Samantha sigh again. This was going to be a damn long mission.
Meanwhile...
Finally Zed gave himself to his own desires and with the aid of his lovely partner in crime he managed to remove the clothing covering her generous chest, chewing on her hard nipples making her moan uncontrollably which only turned him on even more. What our two lust birds didn't knew was the fact that Luigi watched them for good ten minutes now. Why?Because reasons!
"Oh, pre-mating rituals, I see..."Luigi said tilting his head slightly. His heavy British accent made Syndra turn her head slightly.
Picture this situation, you and your boyfriend where in the middle of doing stuff which should happen only in your private rooms and out of the sudden you turn around and see a 2 meter tall guy, dressed in a long Dracula like cape which covers his black gentleman outfit, white glove and has his face covered by a weird mask which depicts a huge almost cartoonish smile and 2 black hollow eyes and a nice mustache.
If you are wondering "What the fuck?" then you understand how Syndra felt at the moment.
"Are you shocked?"Luigi asked. In the next second Syndra covered her exposed chest with her hands, took a few deep breaths and asked:
"Okay...Who are you?"
"Who?Who is but a form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask."Luigi responded. Syndra resisted the urge of breaking him in half and said:
"Well I can see that!"
"Of course you can, I am not questioning your powers of observation, I am merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is."
Syndra took another deep breath, she really tried to avoid violence, she didn't wanted blood on her walls but it was obvious that his guy was playing with her.
"I am going to say this once, leave now and you will live."Syndra said still not turning to face him.
"Oh but I am afraid that is not possible my dear Syndra."Luigi said. At the hearing of her name she opened her eyes wide and asked:
"How do you know my name?"
"Your mind isn't as closed as you might be. Want me to prove it?The one which is holding you in his arms is called Zed."Luigi said flatly."
Zed peeked his head over Syndra's shoulder and looked at Luigi. He didn't looked too strong but he sure was tall and there was something creepy about him.
"Why are you here?"Zed asked.
"To complete a certain mission offered by the one and only Gabe Newell, the creator of the creators. Fun fact, in almost every mission I discover beings with high potential of joining our cause and when I look at you two I see enough potential, especially in miss Syndra. Too bad she needs to learn to control herself and how rude of me, you may call me Luigi."
Now Syndra was angry. This Luigi guys knew her name yet she didn't seen him or heard of him in her entire life and he said that she can't control herself?Oh no, he ain't getting away so damn easily!
With a flick of her wrist her clothes were back on her and she floated until her face was inches from away from Luigi's mask.
"Who do you think you are to come in my home and question my power!?"Syndra said, her voice echoing as usual.
"I am Luigi, I thought I already covered this part my dear."Luigi said. In the next second the doors of Syndra's room where swung open by Luigi flying and stopping into the nearest wall. Syndra towards Luigi and imagine her surprise when he got up like nothing happened and said:
"Power is useless if you don't know how to use it my dear."
She made a dark sphere appear under him which blasted away his legs then he made another one appear then using it she bashed Luigi's body until she thought he was dead.
"Oh please, you can do better then this!"Luigi said from behind her then without a warning he grabbed her by the back of her head and tossed her back into her room.
Syndra managed to got wearing her trade mark grins and said:
"Finally, someone worthy of my power, oh this should be fun!"
A.N
Come on, say something about the fact that I put in Adolf Hitler. Just do it and see what happens.
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