Hi guys! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, I was super busy.
I got this idea while playing a game called The Cat Lady. It's mostly horror but it's simply amazing. You should totally check it out. (You may also recognize some references from the game :D). This initially started as a one-shot, but as I was writing, the ideas just kept coming and I couldn't possibly stop. I may turn it into a story, if you like it.
I'll keep on writing for my other story Just A Dream Away, but right now I'm kinda having my first writer's block. It sucks, believe me.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Lost
"I don't know what got into me. Actually, I do. I may seem wrong but you couldn't possibly understand. What I have been through those last few months is just too much. Sorry for bringing so much pain in your already miserable life. You deserve so much more. All of you do. I'm never enough. I never will be. Maybe someday you'll find the strength to forgive me. Maybe you never will.
Thank you for the memories.
Elena"
I look through my note one more time. It's childish, poorly written and I'm pretty sure it's full of mistakes as well. I wish I could tear it to pieces and toss it away but it's too late. My knees are weak and I can feel my heartbeat slow down. The room begins to spin around me as my vision slowly fades away, like I soon will too. I don't fear death. I've already died once. It's serene, calming. I'm at peace, I'm ready for it.
Because earlier tonight I swallowed a whole bunch of pills. The ones that my doctor prescribed me long ago for my sleeping problems. I had forgotten about them, thought Jeremy might've taken them. Thank God he didn't, otherwise I would've chosen another way. A more bloody one.
How I lived to this day is still a wonder to me. How my parents, aunt, friends, foes, all died because of me and I got to live. Their efforts to keep me alive will be in vain now. It doesn't matter. I would've ended up dying young anyways. Better human, than vampire, I guess.
I'll never see another sunrise ever again. I'll never open my eyes to a new day ever again. I won't get to grow old and tell my nephews crazy vampire stories. I'll never get to love again. I'll never graduate. I'll never laugh again. I have lots of regrets but any moment now and I'll be gone. No witches will bring me back. Nobody will save me this time. I'm not coming back. Ever.
My thoughts grow hazy. I can feel it coming. Darkness surrounds me. I smile. This doesn't have to be the end for them. My eyes are wide open but I can't see, I can't think. All I feel is numbness before a sea of white washes over me. I let myself drown into it, suddenly wishing I could've told him how I really felt.
"What happened?" Caroline burst into the silent hospital room. "I got here as soon as I could. Is she alright?" the blonde got closer to the bed, where Elena's unconscious body was lying.
"Caroline, she…" Stefan tried to explain but was soon cut off by another voice.
"Warrior Princess here tried to kill herself." Caroline glanced around, looking for the source of the voice. A hint if sarcasm, grief and anger, all mixed together. Her eyes landed on Damon, who seemed to belong in another world. His eyes were hollow, his face pale. If she died, she'd take a part of him with her. He was certain about that.
Caroline's eyes grew wide with shock at his words. She and Elena had been friends ever since they were in kindergarten. She knew her better than Elena herself. She was like the sister she never had. "Elena would never do that. She'd never be so selfish."
"That's impossible. She must've been compelled to. There has to be some explanati-"
"Don't sweat it, Barbie. She even cared to write a note for us." The same voice replied, tossing her a piece of crumbled paper. It was indeed Elena's handwriting; she'd recognize it anytime.
"How did you…I mean, who found her?" the blonde bit her lip, knowing she shouldn't have asked them so soon.
"Jeremy did." Stefan spoke up. "The doctors say that he found her on time. She's currently in a self-induced coma. They don't know when or if she'll ever wake up. We'll have to wait and see."
"How long has she been like this?"
"Three hours, maybe four. Damon has been with her ever since." The sound of a phone ringing startled both of them. Stefan got outside, leaving only Caroline and Damon beside Elena's sleeping form. The young vampire pulled herself a chair and sat next to the Damon. She took his hand in hers, not caring whether that would annoy him or not. In spite of everything that had happened between them, she was there for him and she wanted him to know that. He needed her and that was all that mattered for now.
"I'll wait with you." She said simply.
"Whatever." His face was blank but his eyes were losing their glint. He was sure that he'd never see her again.
Pain. A throbbing pain in my skull awakes me and I find myself in a closed white space.
"Just make it stop! Please!" I plead, hoping for some divine intervention.
The pain only gets worse. I try to think of something else, I try to push it away, but it's in vain.
"Why do I have to feel like this again? I'm tired of pain, I'm tired of hurting! I want it all gone! All of it! Just let me be!" I all but yell desperately. This time, though, the pain stops and I find myself falling and falling deeper into the unknown…
Even before I opened my eyes, I could feel the gentle summer breeze caress my face. Would I open my eyes to see The Holy Gates of Heaven? Or did I end up in a far worse place? I stretched my limbs and realized that I was lying somewhere outside, in the dewy grass.
Reluctantly, I open my eyes and see the clear sky. It's not the crystal blue I am so accustomed to. No, it shines in shades of violet, something I've never seen before. I rise to my feet and look around. By the looks of it, I was neither in Heaven nor in Hell: I was on an empty field. For all I know, I could be mistaken. After all, I've never been in Heaven before. But where are the fluffy pink clouds and blond angels? I thought I should've felt disappointed, yet all I felt was emptiness. No rage, no pain, nothing. It's strange, relaxing even.
Strolling around the field, I see a wooden house not far away. I feel strangely drawn to that place, I don't know why. Maybe something important awaits there? I decide to go for it. It's not like I have anything else to do. If only I didn't feel like I'm forgetting something important…
My name
To my horror (that's what I'm supposed to experience now, right?), I realize that I can't remember my own name. Nothing about myself. I try to think back but all can I grasp is pain and blurry faces. All my memories are foggy, out of reach. I clearly remember taking those pills but what for? Had I not lived a happy life? What had happened to me? What was I like before ending up here?
I arrive at the wooden house. I gently open the front door and cautiously step inside.
"Hello?" I recognize that as being my own voice. "Is anybody here?"
I hear something move and quickly turn around to see a slender silhouette. I can't distinguish its features but it's not unknown to me. I have seen it somewhere else.
"Hi, sweetheart. I've been expecting you." A sweet, feminine voice says. It sounds so familiar but I don't think I've heard it before. Or have I?
"Do you know who I am?" my voice asks.
"You don't remember, do you?" I can see the shadow shake its head. "Poor thing, you must be so confused. I guess it can't be helped. You did this to yourself. How are you feeling, my dear?"
"I don't feel anything. I can only guess what emotions I should be experiencing. But it's empty. I'm empty. Nothing reaches me." I sigh. "Can you help me?"
"That depends on you, sugar. You'll have to remember everything by yourself, the bad and the good. Then you'll have to make a decision. I'm merely your guide. You get it, don't you?
I nod before a question pops inside my head.
"Will I be punished for…taking my own life? It's among the only things I remember."
"Normally, one would. You've been given a second chance, given your circumstances. You'll understand later, I promise." She pauses for a beat and I could see her smiling. "Let's go outside, shall we? It's awfully dark in here."
She comes closer to me so I can finally see her face. She's a woman is her early 30s. Blonde hair, green eyes, full lips. I've seen her before, I just don't know when. She wears a floral gown. Not very sophisticated, but elegant nonetheless. "I'm Jenna, by the way."
"Hi Jenna. I would tell you my name if I could remember it." I shrug.
"Don't worry, you will. Come on, there will be a while before we get there so we'd better get moving."
"Why hurry? I have all the time I need." I look at her (surprised?)
"I wouldn't be so sure."
We walked for some time in comforting silence. Why was I supposed to remember all the bad things that had happened to me? Wasn't that why I'd broken down in the end? Would it be any use?
"Could you at least tell me my name?" I suddenly speak up. "It's strange not to have one, you know?"
"Fine." She smiles once more. "I'm glad you haven't changed since I last saw you. Still the impatient type, eager to do anything, to be the first in anything."
"Wait, I've died before?"
"You kinda did, but you didn't end up here. It's a long story. Anyway, you asked me your name. It's Elena."
"Elena." I repeat. It's not a common name like Mary or Ann. It's…special, different. It fits me, I guess. I know nothing about myself so that's an ironic thing to say. Only it's true. "Sounds nice"
"Doesn't it?" she laughs. "Your mother chose it. She was absolutely over the moon that she got to have a daughter. Would've painted the whole house pink if Grayson hadn't stopped her."
"How come you know so much about me?" I stop, looking at her suspiciously. "How come you know so much about me, Jenna? Who are you?"
"One question at the time, honey. I'm not supposed to tell you much, remember? I'm just a spirit. I've been chosen to help you change your mind about some things."
"Chosen by whom?"
"Can't say." She winks.
"Fine. I guess I have to remember all of it by myself." I start walking again. "Where are we, exactly?"
"This place is called The Outer Tunnel. You're not quite alive, but you're not dead either. Not many people end up here. You got lucky 'cause you have help on the other side. Otherwise, who knows where you'd have ended up." She gives a tight smile. "Maybe you'll choose more wisely this time."
"What if I don't want to go back? I glare at her. "You can't force me. No one can. Will I just be stuck here?"
"You can't expect much if you've committed suicide." She clenches her jaw, slightly annoyed." Should you ever decide to let go of your mortal life, you'll be forced to stay here. You'll become a shadow of your former self, bearing the burden of your regrets. All alone, with no one to turn to. Your memories will come back to haunt you. You'll never find your peace." She stops and her face softens.
"I got a bit carried away. Don't mind me." Jenna waves her hand dismissively. "Come on, we're almost there."
And by there, she meant a familiar looking old house, in the middle of the field. It wasn't there a few moments ago. Did it suddenly appear out of nowhere?
"Ready for your first trial?" she steps inside the house first.
"Have I really got a choice?"
"You always do." Her words echo through the empty house.
Should I continue this or not? Drop me a review to let me know what you think. (^.^)