Aishitai, Aisenai
(I want to love, I am unable to love.)
Disclaimer; I don't own anything meantioned in this fanfic. I am a lowly street rat.
Warning; 1XRX1 (only my seconed - I prefer bashing her.) G/Pg
'Relena, I'm sorry,' said Heero, getting out of the bed. 'This cannot be. I cannot love you. I was stupid to try.'
'Why Heero? And why did you go under false lust?' Relena cried, holding the covers close to her body.
'Oh, Relena, belive me, this is no false love between us. I love you with my heart...........but it won't last.' He stroked her under the chin like a cat. She purred.
'It's just.........I'ver never loved anyone..........'
'As much as you love me?'
'No, I've never loved anyone before. My parents are dead, Dr. J.........well, you've met him...and I cannot love my fellow pilots......they are just like me......emotionless shells who try and hide under masks of personaltiy. You are filled with emotion, and I hate to hurt you in any way, but espically this one. I am afraid to love.'
'Aishitai, aisenai.' Relena muttered, tears pricking her eyes.
'What?' asked Heero, turning around.
'It's.....you probably know this........it's Japanese for 'I want to love, I am unable to love.' Millardo once said that to me. He said he couldn't love. Anyone. He couldn't love me as his sister. He was unhappy being married to Noin. He was scared of rejection.'
'I'm not scare of rejection. I know you'll always love me....but what if something was to happen? We're in two sepreate worlds. You are a princess and I am an emotionless shell. What if one of us died? Our hearts would be torn from our bodies. I know I couldn't live.'
'You silly sod, Heero.' Relena cried, flinging her arms around his neck. 'It will never happen. 1 in a million chance.'
'But what if I or you is the 1 in a million? What will we do from there?'
'Heero, imagine everyone loves someone in this world. That everyone is paired up, right? That's a lot of couples, right? Well, what if they all started thinking like this? No one would love anyone in fear that they will die. They'd all be friends or enemys. Everyone will die, but isn't it better if they die in love and happy?'
'Yes, but..........I don't think I could live if you died....'
'And I don't think I could live if you died. Everyone thinks like this. But if we don't chance it, we may as well just be friends. I'd rather have loved and been happy and died then not have loved and been unhappy and died unhappy.'
'But I am an emotionless shell. I am afraid that I would do something dangrous and stupid if you died. You're the only person I can express emotions to, and you are the only person who will listen. I'm terrified of losing you.'
'And I am terrified of losing you too. But we are young. It is better to loved and lost then to have never had. I love you Heero Yuy, and I have done ever since I first saw you. I wouldn't want to lose you, but I am so in love with you, I have to be with you or I will be very unhappy. We are young. We shouldn't be thinking about dying. We have seen too much death ourselves. The world and the colonies are at peace. We should be thinking about loving and living. I love you.'
Heero stopped pacing. Staring at Relena, his eyes filled with tears.
'That was a very moving speech.'
'Very moving if it made you cry!' laughed Relena, tears in her eyes too.
'You're right. I'm only 18, and I love you. I shouldn't be thinking about death. I love you, Relena Peacecraft.'
Together they climb back into the bed. Looking each other in the eyes, they held each other and began to kiss. Heero sees the curtain still open and pulled it shut.
The End.
(I want to love, I am unable to love.)
Disclaimer; I don't own anything meantioned in this fanfic. I am a lowly street rat.
Warning; 1XRX1 (only my seconed - I prefer bashing her.) G/Pg
'Relena, I'm sorry,' said Heero, getting out of the bed. 'This cannot be. I cannot love you. I was stupid to try.'
'Why Heero? And why did you go under false lust?' Relena cried, holding the covers close to her body.
'Oh, Relena, belive me, this is no false love between us. I love you with my heart...........but it won't last.' He stroked her under the chin like a cat. She purred.
'It's just.........I'ver never loved anyone..........'
'As much as you love me?'
'No, I've never loved anyone before. My parents are dead, Dr. J.........well, you've met him...and I cannot love my fellow pilots......they are just like me......emotionless shells who try and hide under masks of personaltiy. You are filled with emotion, and I hate to hurt you in any way, but espically this one. I am afraid to love.'
'Aishitai, aisenai.' Relena muttered, tears pricking her eyes.
'What?' asked Heero, turning around.
'It's.....you probably know this........it's Japanese for 'I want to love, I am unable to love.' Millardo once said that to me. He said he couldn't love. Anyone. He couldn't love me as his sister. He was unhappy being married to Noin. He was scared of rejection.'
'I'm not scare of rejection. I know you'll always love me....but what if something was to happen? We're in two sepreate worlds. You are a princess and I am an emotionless shell. What if one of us died? Our hearts would be torn from our bodies. I know I couldn't live.'
'You silly sod, Heero.' Relena cried, flinging her arms around his neck. 'It will never happen. 1 in a million chance.'
'But what if I or you is the 1 in a million? What will we do from there?'
'Heero, imagine everyone loves someone in this world. That everyone is paired up, right? That's a lot of couples, right? Well, what if they all started thinking like this? No one would love anyone in fear that they will die. They'd all be friends or enemys. Everyone will die, but isn't it better if they die in love and happy?'
'Yes, but..........I don't think I could live if you died....'
'And I don't think I could live if you died. Everyone thinks like this. But if we don't chance it, we may as well just be friends. I'd rather have loved and been happy and died then not have loved and been unhappy and died unhappy.'
'But I am an emotionless shell. I am afraid that I would do something dangrous and stupid if you died. You're the only person I can express emotions to, and you are the only person who will listen. I'm terrified of losing you.'
'And I am terrified of losing you too. But we are young. It is better to loved and lost then to have never had. I love you Heero Yuy, and I have done ever since I first saw you. I wouldn't want to lose you, but I am so in love with you, I have to be with you or I will be very unhappy. We are young. We shouldn't be thinking about dying. We have seen too much death ourselves. The world and the colonies are at peace. We should be thinking about loving and living. I love you.'
Heero stopped pacing. Staring at Relena, his eyes filled with tears.
'That was a very moving speech.'
'Very moving if it made you cry!' laughed Relena, tears in her eyes too.
'You're right. I'm only 18, and I love you. I shouldn't be thinking about death. I love you, Relena Peacecraft.'
Together they climb back into the bed. Looking each other in the eyes, they held each other and began to kiss. Heero sees the curtain still open and pulled it shut.
The End.