Yet another over-used plot idea of ABC's! I don't own any of this, JK Rowling (and a few other authors I alluded to) owns all of this, etc etc.
Draco is in bold, Hermione is in italics, Harry is in underlined, Ron is in normal style.
A is for Amazing.Aww…
B is for Bold. *beams* Thanks, honey.
C is for disgusting. That doesn't even start with a C. I couldn't wait another letter, the way you two go on. C is for Charming. See what I mean???
D is for Dogbreath. Hahahahaha. Potter! Weasel! Out! Boys, this is a Hermione/Draco ABC book. Too late.
E is for Elephant. Huh? Huh? Even I don't get that one. As a matter of fact, neither do I.
F is for Frustration. As in, if you don't leave now, I'll—Dear!
G is for Garlic. Do I want to know? Probably not. I have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with you being a proverbial vampire… *growl* Boys!
H is for Hufflepuff. Only Hermione would bother with the history of the head of another house… Ronald!
I is for I! I think I'll go back and change E to Egotistical. I is for Ignorant. Hint, hint, Weasel…
J is for Jellyfish. Oh no. Not again. I feel like I'm missing something…Trust me, Hermione, you don't want to know. (*)
L is for Lovely. *vomits* Quiet, Harry. Thank you, Draco.
M is for Magnificent. I was just going to say the same thing. Oiy! Could you two lay off it??? M is also for Disgusting!!! This –is- our ABC book/thing. You –could- always leave. True. We all know M is for Gorgeous. (**)
N is for Nauseating. Finally, one that makes sense. How many times do I need to tell you to –leave-???
O is for Omnipotent. Are you talking about me? Aww, that's sweet. Huh? Look it up, Potter. And, by the way, O is also for Omniscient.Aww…O is— (sound of silence) Thank you.
P is for Potter. Potter!!! Out! Now! You can't honestly say you didn't see that coming?
Q is for Q.(***) Huh? Er…nevermind. Q is for Quandary. Yes. What a certain Potter and Weasel will be in if they do not –leave-.
R is for— It's not for Ronald! That's not what I was going to say! I –was- going to compliment you. Oh. I'm sorry. R is for Rabbits. Potter!
S is for Snape-is-a-git. *growls* Ron…that's not one word. *snicker*
T is for Tyrannical. Are you implying something? Interesting…Harry produced a general garment and you claim it's tailor-made? (****) Interesting indeed… Boys!
U is for Understanding. Oh sure, there's a lot of -that- going on here. Actually, there is. You –understand- that if there is any more fighting, you will be the victim whatever Ginny can think up, Ron –understands- that he will wake up in a pit of spiders tomorrow morning, and Draco –understands- that he will be sleeping on the couch. Indefinitely. Understood? No more fighting. Got it. Got it. Got it.
V is for Visionary. I'll take it as a compliment.
W is for Wonderful, what else? Ugh, getting sick again. Butt out, Potter. Thank you, honey.
X is for…can anyone think of anything other than Xylophone? X is for Xenophobe. …we'll ignore the fact that none of us are afraid of strangers. Yes, we will.
Y is for Yin and Yang. It's not going to work, Ron. So ha. Hermione's married to –me-. Draco…
Z is for Zebra Butterfly. I won't ask. Well, it is less cliché than Zebra…By one whole word. What would –you- say? Zappy. Or…Zarf. Is that even a word? Yes, amazingly…it's a cupholder…of sorts…Better than Zebra Butterfly. Marginally. Who's side are you on? No-one's. Because you are both leaving. –Now-.
Of course, they would have to wait to leave until this is all –done-… Gits. Dear… Oh, alright.
But you can't tell me you don't prefer it being just you and me. Well, no. I do.
Ha! Didn't think you could get rid of us –that- easily! Nope! Never!
Oh -*-*— For once, I agree.
A/N:
*—see my earlier story, "Incredibly Random".
**—from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. I forget which one.
***—Q is a character from Gene Rodenberry's "Star Trek" (TNG, VOY, DS9)
****—that is a not-quite-direct quote from Dune, by Frank Herbert. Great series. I recommend it.
Anyway, review welcome, mostly drabble, I know, but fun to write. Hopefully I'll put up more soon.