A/N1: Kind of a Christmas/New Year micro-gift from me; there was none earlier because I write occasionally, only when/if the muse strikes, so don't take prompts and don't do exchanges. Still, it's not far since the year has begun, so Happy New Year to all of us here: may the 2018 be a good one - or, at least, not worse than the 2017 was.
The nightmares keep on appearing with depressing frequency. Nights without any of them waking up abruptly - without trashing limbs, gasps for air, horrid screams at the back of their throats - are a rare gift. Still, it's already better than right after Scarif. The discovery of their bond might've make plenty of things more awkward, but it immediately made lots of things easier as well. The trust held for each other is calming, just like the lightest of touch turns out to be. Even before consciously acknowledging that there might be romantic feelings involved, Jyn and Cassian simply has started to live together, already aware of their inability to exist separately.
This night started just like any other might, and apparently it's Jyn's turn to wake up too early and too suddenly; to a vivid memory of death and fire, with taste of smoke and blood lingering on her tongue. She'd be long gone from bed, tossing on the cold floor, if not for Cassian's arm wound tightly around her waist. He holds her firmly, with her back pressed against his chest and head under his chin, even though she's been struggling against him for Force only knows how long. Still half-asleep, terrified Jyn is kicking against Cassian's shins and clawing at his forearm, leaving bruises with heels and drawing blood with nails. But he understands. He's not the one to judge her for things done in throws of recurring nightmares, just like she doesn't ever judge him when he's the one to wake her up in just as a nasty way. Instead, Cassian whispers above her head, murmurs soothing words remembered from childhood, which Jyn may or may not understand as they're of Festian origin, but which usually comfort her all the same. Tonight seems to be one of those rough nights though, when careful hold and barely audible assurances in foreign language are just not enough. Cassian knows he risks sending Jyn into even higher panic by the slightest raise of voice, but he has to try as he switches to Basic.
"Jyn, wake up"
Not much of a reaction, except that Jyn's movements slow down a bit and she gasps painfully.
"Relax, you're safe"
She finally stills completely, no more scratching or kicking, but doesn't seem to be much calmer. She keeps herself rigid while trying to muffle sobs, and barely breathes.
"Shhhh, you're safe, Jyn"
He'd repeat it over and over again, all night long, but this time it's not enough to soothe her down. There's obviously something still nagging her, even when fully awake. After a long moment of heavy sobbing she dares to ask, in small, feeble voice:
"And you, are you?"
Cassian swallows something suddenly choking his throat, before giving truthful answer.
"With you, I'm always safe"
They are not good at talking, but this had to be said, this is the right thing to say and hear. Jyn's tense muscles finally soften. She curls up in a ball, her back still against Cassian, and he follows, cocooning her with his body. For a while without dark thoughts, they're both back to drowsing in no time. Exhausted by the ordeal, on the verge of sleep, Jyn manages to ask again, just to be sure she heard right:
"Always?"
"Always", he whispers back into her tangled hair and seals the affirmation with a kiss to top of her head.
Since that night Jyn is less often tormented by her nightmares. Beside calmer Jyn, Cassian sleeps better as well; both suddenly stronger against their inner demons. They don't talk about it, because they don't have to. Their nightmares don't define them or their relationship; trust and the sense of safety do.
Feeling safe is not just about you, it's also about your loved ones; if they are truly safe, then you can be too.
A/N2: I woke up yesterday to a disturbing memory. Decided to write it down, alter the heck out of it just because I can, and turn it into something from the life of my favourite OTP.