A/N: So, due to Cheech, this very stream-of-conscious-ish fic was created. The poor dude barley shows up in the Fanboy an Chum Chum series, and when he does, he says about three words! Anyone else pissed about this? I sure am. I just think that Cheech needs a good story. So, without further adue, please enjoy the following!


Cheech's POV

So, if you're here for some story about love or something like that. You might want to go somewhere else. Maybe over to my friend Duke. Because apparently he's decided he's into that kind of stuff now. Love isn't going to happen here. At least, I majorly doubt it. I guess you never really know for sure, but, for now, no love. And no girls who aren't wearing close to zero clothing.

Let's just say, because right about now I have no idea, that this is going to be about food. All about the FOOD. You're probably thinking, "This kid is whacked out. It can't be all about food." See, peeps, that's where you're wrong. It can too only about food. Hi, I'm Cheech So-In-So, and I love food.

Well, I guess I already broke my promise about love. Darn it...

I'm at Taco Bell and, to clear up any ideas you might have, I think the place is a disgrace to tacos everywhere. I think there's dog scat in my tortilla. I'm not kidding right now. Duke's across from me doing this thing where he takes a bite of his chalupa (best word on the planet, in case you were wondering) and then checks his phone. And then goes back to his chalupa (ha!). Every so often he gets a text and this weird little smile crosses his face. Chalupa, phone, repeat.

He's texting Francine and, to clear up any ideas you might have, she doesn't usually hang out with us. Generally, we don't associate with Lupe's clique and Francine was their replacement of Yo that one time so, yeah. No Francine in "Duke and Cheech". In fact, the only real members of "Duke and Cheech guys" are Duke, Chris, and me. Everyone else just kind of comes and goes as they please. People seem to think we're nicer than Lupe's clique, but secretly we're not. I guess Chris kind of is. Duke is definitely not.

Duke spends entirely too much time texting Francine. Because, well, they, y'know, are boyfriend and girlfriend? That's right. My best friend likes her. It's not really that big of a deal. Some people think it would be, but, if you're like Duke and I, coming out to your best friend goes a little like this: You're sitting in the lunch room (he's got lunchroom tacos because he has no taste in Mexican food and you've got a sandwich) and your best friend points at some snobby diva who comes up, nudges your elbow and goes, "That's Francine Foster." And you nod and reply, "Yup." And he goes, "I kind of like her," You grunt and take a bite of your sandwich.

You definitely don't go home and cry about it later. I mean, I certainly did not. I take these sorts of things like a man. Well, maybe I cried for like a second. Duke's my best friend and all of a sudden I find out he's cruyshing on this snobby, bitchy girl? Minor style of living adjustment here. Besides, my mom always tells me someday a nice girl is going to love me because I'm sensitive. Instead of just because I have connections to an entire store of shoes. My mom's the best, but most other girls suck. By the way, Duke's not into me or anything; believe me, I asked. He actually laughed in response, which was a little uncalled for, I thought. Just because stupid Duke wouldn't like me doesn't mean all guys wouldn't.

The phone sitting next to Duke's food vibrates and he snatches it up, grinning like a moron. How does he even text when he's shaking so much? That's what I'd like to know. That kid is seriously messing up than Chris and I. He's become a total sap. Duke asked me how I was the other day. It was the most mind-blowing thing that has ever happened to me. In theory, nicer Duke should make for happier Cheech. But it was just weird. I don't think I even responded.

I hope you don't think I'm jealous or anything. This isn't going to be one of those things where I end up falling in love with my best friend after having an "aha!" moment right when he's going to marry someone else or right when he's boarding an airplane. I know that always happens in dumb chick flicks, but don't expect it from me. I don't have a secret gay crush for Duke. The guy's a jerk. I'm surprised Francine even goes for him. Being friends with someone is way different than dating them. I like Francine and all, but I don't really like being around Duke when he's in his "Francine zone".

I could be at Chipotle right now stuffing my face with a beautifully large barbacoa burrito. With guacamole. The minute I realize this, I stand up and push my barely touched Taco Hell over to Duke. Because, apparently, in addition to Francine's tounge, he likes having dog scat in his mouth. "I'm leaving," I inform him. "Have fun with Francine later. I'm sure she'll make you happy"

He waves. Good one, Duke. "Have fun going home and watching the Harlem Shake while eating a 500 calorie burrito," he replies.

It's kind of scary how well he knows me. This thought leaves me without a comeback. "Uh…I plan to." You sure showed him, So-in-So. I snatch my cup off the table and leave. Mountain Dew Code Red has always been the only good thing about Taco Bell.


A/N: My main concern is that it is so choppy that it's confusing and unreadable or that it just comes off as bad writing. Let me know what you think, and please be honest! I loved writing Cheech so I want to know how I did :D