Daddy August

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Summary: Emma is called into the Sheriff's Station so August is left alone for a day with their three kids. That should be fun, right? (WoodenSwan ahead, and a bunch of other couples mentioned fleetingly)

I don't know what happened but these guys just kept on appearing in the story…


August groaned when he realized that something had disturbed his sleep… again. He'd just managed to close his eyes after finally putting Adam, who'd been unusually fussy in the absence of his mother, into bed.

When he reached out to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, he realized that it was already broad daylight outsight. He squinted at the clock in disbelief – it read 6:26. Four more minutes to go before it'd go off.

He couldn't believe it – it was only 1:30 a few minutes ago. Where the hell did the rest of the night go?

And Adam just kept wailing through the baby monitor.

With eyes pressed closed against the light, August sat up and felt the floor for his T-shirt he remembered discarding there. After pulling it over his head and remarking to himself not to go out in that because it smelled, he pressed his palms against his tired eyes and stood up.

He padded over to the nursery and took his eight months old son into his arms. He tried to hush him and after a couple of minutes, his wailing turned into hiccups and finally silence settled on the room.

"Urgh, buddy," he wrinkled his nose. "You smell just as bad as your daddy."

As an answer, Adam hiccupped one last time, looking clueless at his daddy, and August chuckled to himself as he went to the baby-dresser to change his baby's diaper.

He expertly disposed of the dirty diaper and quickly wiped the baby clean watching with a smile how Adam enjoyed being free from the diaper's restrains. Suddenly the baby's face took up a funny expression and before August could have reacted in any way, a fountain of baby piss hit him square in the face. It all happened in slow motion and he found himself unable to move. He kept standing there with an unbelieving expression, little droplets dripping from his stunned face while a genuine smile appeared on Adam's face.

"Ha, not so funny, buddy," he told the baby, "not so funny." At that the baby began giggling while kicking away merrily. "All right," August sighed defeated. "Go on, laugh it up."

After finally managing to put his son into some clothes and he himself changing, August made his way towards the other kids' room, realizing that he had forgotten to wake them up. When he found the room empty, he raised a questioning eyebrow and continued his way towards the kitchen with Adam sitting on his hip.

When he stepped into the kitchen, he could swear that his heart stopped and he broke out in cold sweat. And it wasn't because Emma's always pristine kitchen looked like a war zone. It was because of the little girl who was currently kneeling on the counter, balancing on the edge while obviously keeping herself up by one of the doors of the cupboard.

"Oh my," he was quick to put Adam into his seat and almost instantly he was by the counter, scooping his six-year-old into his arms and gently placing her on the ground.

"And just what the hell are you two doing here?" he asked and while Greta looked chastised, Danny, who had somehow climbed up one of the bar stools to sit on the counter, clasped his tiny hands on his mouth, hearing his dad use one of the words they were not supposed to use.

"We were hungry and we wanted to do pancakes," Greta explained with downcast eyes. "Are we in trouble?"

"Of course you are not," August reassured her with a smile, relieved that nothing bad had happened. "But next time you go and get me. I'll make you pancakes."

"We tried but you didn't wake up," Greta explained.

Shit, August thought with a frown. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Daddy was very tired. But let's do those pancakes now," he pecked her nose then gathered her under his arm and laughed when Greta screamed out in surprise. "I'm starving, too," he said while making his way to his three-year-old whom he tucked under his other arm while the boy giggled happily, then carried them to the table where Adam was gurgling merrily.

"Wow," August was stopped mid-movement when Henry appeared in the doorway. "I'd like to see you explain this to mom," Henry looked bemused at her step-dad while the man was standing in the middle of a messy kitchen with his siblings hanging on either side of him.

"Not funny," August replied, putting the kids down. "Would you mind helping me, please?"

"No can do, sorry," Henry shook his head. "Got to go," he informed August and without a second thought he turned to leave.

August looked after him, wondering what kind of an alien was impersonating that little boy he'd got to know eight years ago. Because that little punk with the devil may care attitude wasn't his Henry.

"Thanks a lot," he muttered. "And comb your hair," as a second thought, August called after the boy who disappeared without a backward glance, throwing an 'it is combed' behind his back.

"And now that we discussed it," he turned with a forced smile to the others, determined not to let Henry's behavior get to him, "Who's up for pancakes?"

August quickly prepared breakfast and after finishing it – or more like Greta and Danny finishing it and he finishing feeding Adam – August quickly put the plates into the sink.

"All right," turning back to the table, August lifted Greta off of her seat and put her down on the floor. "Now go and get dressed. We've got to go in fifteen minutes."

"Where are we going?" she turned to look at him with genuine curiosity.

"To school," August stated the obvious.

"We don't go to school, daddy," the little girl giggled, apparently finding her father's proposition quite amusing. "It's Saturday," she informed the man still giggling to which Danny merrily joined, repeating over and over again that it was Saturday.

August was standing in the kitchen totally dumbfounded – it was indeed Saturday.

"Well," he continued a little embarrassed. "You have to get dressed either way."

"All right," Greta sighed then ran off.

"You, too, little man," August turned to Danny, too. "Greta will help you get dressed."

"Awwight," the little boy mimicked his sister and ran after her.

While the kids were away to get dressed, August made a quick job of cleaning up the kitchen so when Greta and Danny returned, he was ready to give all his attention to the kids.

Gathering Adam into one arm, he scooped Danny into his other one and started towards the living room.

"Hey, Danny boy, have you raided your Uncle Archie's wardrobe?" he squeezed his son with a humorous chuckle. "Where did you get that shirt?"

"My wa'dob," the boy replied just as August put him down on the couch.

"Of course," he said. "So what about we watch a movie then go out and have lunch at Granny's and after that we can go visit Grandpa Marco in the afternoon," he proposed the plan for the day that found general acceptance.

It wasn't easy but finally they managed to agree on a cartoon and after that there was even time left to go to the playground before lunch.

August was just sitting on a bench with Adam slumbering in his stroller and the other kids running around on the playground when someone walked up to him.

"Well, isn't it a refreshing sight to see a dedicated dad?" Aurora appeared next to him wearing a warm smile and a baby sling in which her little bundle of joy was sound asleep.

"Hey there," August greeted the woman. "I get that your Captain is not into the playground business."

"No, I can't say that," she gave August a tired smile as she sat down. "He's got wrapped around the kids' fingers but he couldn't sit around here to save his life."

"So… How are you doing?"

"I'm exhausted. The twins were sucking my energy away as it is," she said referring to the two three years old boys who were currently running around with the Booth kids. "But now that the baby is born, I'm drained."

"I hear you," August smiled sympathetically. "I mean, I haven't done half the things that Emma did but I swear I've forgotten how it feels to be rested."

"Stop the whining, Booth, it doesn't become you," Jefferson walked up to the duo with a smirk, pushing a stroller in front of him. "You love those kids."

"I didn't say I didn't love them. I just said that being a dad is exhausting…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the other man dismissed him as he parked the stroller with his daughter next to Danny. "Scoop over," he told his friend, practically pushing August into the middle of the bench. "Now, that's better," he sighed settling down and closing his eyes.

"Someone looks tired," August observed sharing a bemused look with Aurora.

"Well, while you keep complaining about wailing babies and hyperactive toddlers – of which I have both, I must add – I have an eighteen-year-old daughter to deal with. I'd definitely say that that's the most exhausting thing on Earth. And damn, I have to go through it once again with Hanna," he shook his head, referring to his baby girl, currently safely tucked away in her stroller. "I think I'll have to lock her up until she turns, say, forty," he mused to himself then nodded. "Yes, I'll do just that."

"It's not easier with an eighteen-year-old boy, either," August mused.

"Are you kidding me?" Jefferson turned to him. "I'm pretty sure he's the reason I have nightmares at nights. I swear I'll castrate that little punk if I find out that he's sleeping with my little girl."

"Well then, let's just make sure that you never find it out," Neal remarked as he walked up to the little group with his eighteen-month-old baby girl in his arms. "Nathan, watch out," he called after his son, who ran away to join the quickly growing group on the playground.

"Is your son sleeping with my daughter?" Jefferson looked suspiciously between August and Neal.

"I don't know, honey," August turned to Neal with humor twinkling in his eyes. "Is our son sleeping with his daughter?"

"You should really keep on sleeping, buddy," Neal advised to Jefferson as he handed Sarah to August.

"Aren't you two cute?" Jefferson huffed. "The next thing we'll know is that you two ditched your wives and sacked up together."

"Speaking of wives," Aurora spoke up, finally paying attention to the conversation, after taking care of Kevin's booboo he got falling down of the swing. "Is it role switch day or something? I don't remember ever seeing you going to the playground on your own accord."

"Well, Mulan had the nightshift in the hospital and now she's sleeping," Neal explained, pushing his hands into his jeans' pockets.

"Alice had some errand to run," Jefferson shrugged, "which is her code for buying clothes, and I suppose it was either this or going with her."

"What about you?" Neal prodded when August was slow to supply an explanation, being too engrossed in cooing to Sarah.

"Emma was called into the station late last night so I didn't have much choice," he finally shared, not taking his attention from the little girl in his lap.

"My, those girls are doing something really right," Aurora observed in awe. Last time she'd been forced to let the boys alone with their dad, they ended up in the Rabbit Hole, learning how to play darts. "We definitely have to have a girls' night out."

"Where is your hubby anyway?" Neal popped the question.

"He's trying to sleep off last night," Aurora answered with a frown. Knowing nods followed this statement before Neal cried out horrified, "Oh no. Nathan, what have I told you about torn trousers? Great," he huffed and went to pick up his son, who was sitting on the ground nursing his injured knee.

"Well," Jefferson shrugged settling back on the bench. "Would you mind watching my boy while I get a little shut eye here?" he asked, closing his eyes.

August was just about to tell him that one doesn't take his kid to the playground just to have a nice nap while said kid is doing who knows what but Greta demanded his attention, running up to him with a huge grin.

"Daddy! Come, play catch! Uncle Neal's playing, too," she said panting with the much running she'd done so far.

"What do you say, Sarah?" August looked at the toddler in his lap and, as an answer, the little girl started jumping excitedly, saying 'run, run'. "Well, catch it is," he laughed, putting Sarah down.

"Go," Aurora smiled. "I'll look after the kids… and Jefferson here," she added with a roll of the eyes when the man started snoring next to her.

At that August ran after Sarah with a happy laugh. Aurora leant back on the bench, holding her baby girl and watched the two men as a bunch of kids were running around them.

As lunchtime approached, slowly everybody gathered their kids and left. Hook surprised Aurora and picked them up from the playground to take his family out for lunch and Neal and Jefferson got started, too. Apparently Neal had promised Mulan to take care of the housecleaning and Jefferson had been roped into going for paint-shopping because Alice wanted to redecorate their house.

August took the kids, too, and started for Granny's.

"Look at you!" Ruby cried in adoration as the little family stepped into the Diner. "Aren't you looking like a little Archie?" she cooed to Danny, who, with his red hair and that particular outfit he'd chosen for the day, was indeed the spitting image of the ex-cricket.

"Yeah, I should really talk about that with Emma," August joked and Ruby poked him in the ribs.

"I was talking about the clothes," she pointed out.

"Yeah… And I really should talk about that, too, with your husband. I'm sure that shirt came from him."

At that Ruby just gave him a smile then looked down when Greta pulled on her arm.

"I brought you flowers," the little girl offered and Ruby leant down to kiss her head.

"Thank you, honey. They're beautiful. Now, go and sit down," she ushered them towards the booth in the corner. "I'll be right back." And with that she turned on her heels and left. August looked after her shaking his head in wonder: at seven-month pregnant, Ruby was as energetic as ever.

After lunch, as Danny was kneeling by the table, keeping himself up with his elbows, and holding onto his plastic mug that Ruby had filled with hot chocolate and that seemed large in his tiny hands, he suddenly turned to his father.

"Daddy?" he demanded August's attention who groaned when he noticed his expression. It was Emma written all over it. The boy wanted to know something.

"Did, Mr. Gold maked mommy eat a bean, too, when I borned?"

"No, buddy, mommy didn't have to eat a bean when you were born," he frowned, adjusting the bottle in Adam's hands. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Grandpa's mommy did haved too," Danny explained as Greta's head shot up.

"Told you we were cut out of wood," she told her brother.

"Why do you think that?" August questioned her.

"Because Grandpa Geppetto cut you out of wood."

"That doesn't mean that you were cut out of wood, too."

"Then what did you and mommy had to do to make us?" Greta asked and a panicked look settled on August's face.

"Tell you what, pumpkin," he finally croaked. "I will gladly answer that question when you turn forty."

"I bet mommy will tell me," she huffed, crossing her arms on her chest.

"Well, you can always ask her," August retorted. "But for now who's in for another round of hot chocolate?" he asked grabbing for the empty mugs while standing up. "That's what I thought," he laughed when both children raised their hands excitedly.

"What's that panicked look for?" Ruby asked with a smile when August stepped up to the counter with a heavy sigh.

"Kids just wanted to know what Emma and I did to make them," he informed the woman. "Isn't it a little too early for that?"

"Well, I can't speak from experience seeing that my little red-headed wonder is just turning two," Ruby laughed, "but I guess the answer would be yes."

August rolled his eyes.

"Here," Ruby put two mugs of hot chocolate on the counter and then slipped a shot of whiskey in front of August. "That's for daddy," she winked at him. "It's on the house."

"Tha…"

"Daddy!" Danny called for his daddy at the top of his voice standing up on his seat. "Pee," he informed the man, stretching his arms up into the air, ready for his father to pick him up.

"Oh crap," August groaned, jumping to his feet and starting back to the table just to stop in his tracks and turn back to down the shot. "Thanks," he croaked before quickly turning once again and making his way back to the kids.

Ruby watched on amused as he practically ran away, picked up the boy holding him at arm's length, facing away from him, and quickly made his way towards the back of the dinner, all the while muttering that there was no way he'd get peed on once again that day.

After Ruby had made sure that the kids got high on sugar, August herded them out of the Diner and they started towards his father's house.

As it was expected, both Greta and Danny were jumping the whole way and if it hadn't been enough for poor August whose energy level had seriously dropped after the day's activities, the kids started to sing, too, and demanded that August also sang along.

So with a forced smile and a tortured look, August sang the whole twenty minutes long walk to Marco's house and really tried to sound enthusiastic when they repeated the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" for the umpteenth time and he even made the effort to mimic the expert movements of his kids when it came to the "Wheels on the Bus".

He was just about to sigh in relief when Greta didn't start a new song right after the last one but then the little girl, who'd been walking next to the stroller, turned to him grinning.

"Now let's sing the finger song!" Greta exclaimed and August wanted to groan. "Daddy finger, daddy finger, where are you?" she started merrily, walking on with an extra bounce in her steps, and when August was less than enthusiastic to join in at the appropriate part, she looked back over her shoulder. "Come on, daddy, that's your part."

"Here I am, here I am. How do you do?" he grimaced but it seemed that Greta was satisfied as she continued on.

"Mommy finger, mommy finger, where are you…"

August couldn't really remember when twenty minutes seemed so long as their little afternoon walked seemed to him at the moment. Even Leroy grinned at them when he passed the little group on the street.

"Grandpa!" the kids ran to their grandfather as soon as they caught sight of him working in his little workshop and August, at last, let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God," he said as he maneuvered the stroller into the house.

"Hey, Archie," August greeted his friend coming down the stairs as he took Adam out of the stroller. "You missed the playground party."

"The playground party?" the man asked, pushing up his glasses on his nose.

"Yeah, it seems the women took a day off and let us, men, took care of the kids. Even Hook showed up at the playground. And I can see you're in the same shoes as well."

"Yeah, Ruby is working."

"I know. We've just come from the Diner. Where is Ivy?"

"Just put her down for a nap," he told August than petted Adam's rosy cheek. "Hey there, Adam. Are you being a good boy for your daddy?"

"Oh, he's being a real angel. Since he practically wailed through the night, he hasn't got the energy to make a fuss so far. But I think it'd be a great idea to change him," August wrinkled his nose. Archie agreed.

After changing Adam's diaper and going out to say hi to his dad, August and Archie retired to the house to have a little peace and quite – which they well deserved.

The peace and quiet lasted for ten whole minutes before the kids burst into the house.

Fortunately it turned out that all they wanted was to settle down because Grandpa Marco promised them a story. So while Danny climbed into his grandfather's lap, August gathered his daughter into his arms and went back to sleep. He went out like a bulb. He didn't even remember which tale his father chose to tell the kids.

He did remember, though, that the old man gave the children another doze of sugar in the form of brownies Mother Superior had made and that meant another endless chain of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" on their way home.

It was after six o'clock that the little family stepped into their house and August closed the door behind him with an exhausted sigh. The day was almost over and all he had to do was to get through the ordeal of dinner and getting the kids cleaned up and into bed then he himself would be able to fall into bed and sleep till the morning.

But of course he forgot something…

"Daddy, can we build a castle?"

Of course, Greta and Danny were high on sugar.

"A castle?" he asked in a voice that bordered on being a whimper. "I'd rather you ate something." Let's stick to plan, he thought.

"We can eat in the castle," Danny offered.

"Yeas, daddy, please."

Damn.

August knew there was no way he could say no to that look on the kids' faces. He sighed. "All right. We can build a castle but then you have to eat something."

"Yay!" the kids cried merrily then, not really caring about dinner, they ran into the living-room to start right on with building their castle.

A little apprehensively August left them be then, after putting Adam into his playing den, he left for the kitchen.

"That's not a castle," August observed slightly horrified at the sight of the living-room when he returned from the kitchen with a tray in hand.

"No," Danny agreed. "It's a fowtess."

"And here I made dinner for the Princess and the Prince."

"No Prince and Princess here," Greta shook her head. "We are knights!"

"Knights," August observed amused. "Of course," he concluded then indicated to the structure they had built. "So, is there any place left for another knight?"

"You no knight," Danny observed with a giggle.

"Yes, daddy," Greta agreed. "We have to make you a knight first, peasant."

"Peasant? Now that was quite discriminative," he observed, mostly to himself as the kids didn't seem to understand him. They jumped up and stood in front of him expectantly.

"Oh, right," August said finally, putting down the tray of sandwiches he'd made for dinner. "Just be quick," he told them, kneeling down. "I'm starving."

Not long after that, the four knights settled down to have their dinner.


It was quite late when Emma finally arrived home after an exhausting day at the station. Closing the front door, she disposed of her jacket then started toward the stairs with that firm intent to climb into bed next to his husband and fall asleep at last.

Something caught her eyes in the living-room, though, so she momentarily forgot about her plans and stepped into the room. The curtains weren't closed so she could see the state of the room and her jaw dropped. The room looked like the set of a disaster movie.

As she slowly walked around the room, she could feel the annoyance creeping on her but then her eyes fell on three sleeping figures that were lying under a blanket that was thrown over the back of the couch and was being hold up by a chair on one side and by the coffee table on the other. Two stacks of books were piled up on both of them to prevent the blanket from falling down.

A small smile appeared on Emma's face and she went to crouch down in front of the strange structure. August was lying on his back with Danny sprawled out on top of him while Greta cuddled up next to him. They were adorable.

"Hey," August croaked sleepily as he smiled up at her through half-closed eyelids.

"Hey, yourself," Emma smiled back at him. "I see you had an interesting day."

"You have no idea."

"Do you want to take the kids upstairs?"

"Nah," August shook his head hardly discernibly. "Want to sleep in our fowtess?"

"So this disaster zone in my living-room wants to be a fortress?" Emma raised a questioning eyebrow, trying really hard not to chuckle.

"You bet."

"Where's Adam?"

"Up in his bed. Come on, Princess."

"All right," Emma finally answered after running her eyes over the room once again. "But you'd better clean it up tomorrow, Booth."

"Of course," murmured already halfway back to sleep. "And it's Sir Booth," he added with his last conscious thought.

Emma shook her head bemused then crawled in next to her family and promptly fell asleep.

And with that the day ended with the family cuddling together in their make-shift fortress until a new day began.

The End

Thanks for reading!