***UPDATE 6/18/14***I have decided to put this on a temporaryhiatus. It will not be permanent, I promise. The reason for this: I want to give this fic the love and attention it deserves, but I am too busy right now to manage 3 fanfics plus my novel. By putting this on a temporary hiatus, I will have more time to devote to my other two fanfics, both of which are much closer to completion than this. Once those two fanfics (or at least one of them) is finished, then I will return to this story and give it the attention needed to be able to give you guys regular updates, and actually finish this. I hope you understand, and for now, please keep reading and reviewing the 17 chapters I have already, because it really means so much to me. I promise I won't forget about this story, and I will hopefully be able to return to it soon.
AN: Okay, so for awhile now, I've had this idea of taking 100 songs that remind me of the Doctor and Rose, and writing 100 short stories to accompany them. I was hugely inspired by snowtigress27's version of this, it's fantastic. You should go check it out. Anyway, I was planning on doing this later, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I also wanted to start with something a bit happier, and less angst-filled, but like I said, this idea just stuck in my brain. You can expect pretty much all genres for these stories, but angst and romance are my two favorites, so expect lots of that. Especially romance. And fluff. ^_^ All of these will be centered around the Doctor and Rose's relationship, because they're one of my favorite couples EVER for ANYTHING, and it will be mainly 10/Rose. However there's going to be some 9/Rose, 10.5/Rose, and possibly even some 11/Rose. One more thing, even if you're not a fan of angst, stick with this for a bit, I promise not all will be as angsty as this one is. I know this AN is getting reaaally long, sorry. But yeah, enjoy, and let me know what you think in a review! This is my first time writing for Doctor Who, and my first time doing any sort of song challenge, so bear with me if it's a little rough sometimes. (Oh, and one last VERY brief thing, I rated this T just for 'emotional maturity' or whatever you want to call it, but there might be minor violence and swearing. Nothing serious, though.)
Today's song is Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again, from Phantom of the Opera. (Oh, you should check out this amazing video on Youtube, by everythingbananas07. It's called The Doctor & Rose - Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again, and it's amazing.
Rose stood outside on a balcony, watching the people down below go by. Her thoughts were on the Doctor. They always were, these days. Ever since… Rose stopped that thought short. Thinking about the last time she saw the Doctor, the Battle of Canary Wharf, would only made her more depressed than she already was. But the truth was, she missed him. More then she ever thought was possible. The Doctor had told her once to have a fantastic life, but how could she without him? She couldn't. He had become her world, the one bright spot in the dreary life of Rose Tyler. Her life had gone from dull and average to full of excitement, adventure, and danger. She had traveled with the Doctor, just the two of them, and he had shown her the universe. Far away planets, beautiful landscapes, strange and exciting aliens. The Doctor and life on the TARDIS was all that had mattered to her. But then she'd been ripped away from him, saved from hell, saved from the void of nothing, but trapped inside a different kind of hell. Any world without the Doctor was hell for Rose Tyler.
It had been months now. Many, many months. For a while she woke up excited, before remembering where she was. Now, each day, she woke up with less hope than the last day. Each day meant another day the Doctor hadn't shown up. He'd said it was impossible… but nothing was impossible for him, was it? Rose wasn't so sure any more. She just wished she could be with him. She missed his voice, his hugs, his smile, the way his hand fit perfectly into hers, and she missed the special grin he always saved for when they were running for their lives. Each morning was dreaded, knowing that in all likelihood the Doctor wouldn't show up to whisk her away back to her old life. Her real life. Each night was dreaded, because without fail, every night Rose dreamed of the Doctor. She knew that he wanted her to move on, have a fantastic life and all that. And she knew dreaming of the Doctor certainly wouldn't help her move on. But she couldn't stop thinking about him, even if she wanted to. Which she didn't. Not really, anyways. Moving on meant forgetting the Doctor, and she couldn't do that. Rose relied on her dreams to keep the memory of the Doctor alive, for a few precious hours every night she was back with the Doctor, back in his arms. Rose felt like if maybe she just kept on dreaming of the Doctor, perhaps he would reappear. She knew it was a foolish thought, but it was the only hope she had left.
Rose watched the world go on below her. In so many ways she wished she could just be part of that world again, part of the boring, average life humans led. But she knew she never could. She could never forget the Doctor, but she had to try to move on. It's what he wants, Rose reminded herself.
"Oh, Doctor…" Rose whispered to herself. It had been too long. He wasn't coming back now. She had to let go, and just try to have a normal life. She had to try for the sake of her mum, and Pete, and Mickey. For the sake of everyone. Rose's eyes watered at the thought.
"How can I forget you?" She whispered again, looking up at the sky. "Why can't I forget you? Our life together… everything that I loved… why can't it all just die?"
Rose started crying in earnest, curling up in herself, the tears coming harder and harder. Forget… it seemed like a promising idea… she didn't want to, but she had to. Dreaming of the Doctor wasn't going to get her anywhere, it wouldn't help her achieve the fantastic life the Doctor wanted for her. She knew she had to do it… everyone had told her he wasn't coming back, but she didn't believe them. But now the truth was sinking in. He wasn't coming back. It really was impossible. She had to say goodbye to him, once and for all.
"Oh, Doctor," Rose said, sobbing. "Please… forgive me. Forgive me for being such a stupid ape. Such a weak human. If only I could have held onto that lever tighter… please forgive me! Forgive me… please… help me move on…. I can't have a fantastic life without you, but I have to! Try to forgive me… teach me to live again! Give the strength to at least try. Oh Doctor…"
This was it. This was goodbye. There would be no more memories, no more choking back the silent years, no more gazing across the landscapes, and thinking of the wasted time her in 'Pete's World'.
"Help me say goodbye, Doctor…" Rose whispered, clutching her chest as she sobbed. She looked up into the night sky, gazing at a distant star, and as she cried herself out, she held on to her last, tiny shred of hope that maybe, in his world, the Doctor was looking at the sky and thinking of her….
AN: Please let me know what you think! Also, currently my playlist only has 70 songs, plus some are a bit iffy, so song suggestions are welcome.